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Bob thinks his singular problem is that he's not getting *enough* carbs.
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Bob thinks his singular problem is that he's not getting *enough* carbs.
Oh, bad tax luck is nearly always trying to claim a deduction just barely in the grey area and having someone actually look at the return and ask some questions, and perhaps some accountability to go along with that.Still trying to figure out how you have bad luck with tax returns. Only thing I can guess is they spent a bunch of money they don't have assuming the tax returns would be enough to cover it but either got less back than they expected or just spent to much or both.
Chris doesn't want to do that because what he has now is too comfortable to let go of. I also suspect that he wants to have an e-begging tug boat that he can more discreetly siphon off to feed his alcoholism. Do we honestly think he's going to drop his craft beer obsession that easily? Hell, I would even suggest that he's lying about his finances to trick sympathetic rubes.GET. A. FUCKING. JOB. CHRIS.
Amazing that this asshat used to be considered the more sensible of the two Chipman brothers.
This motherfucker. This unaware, thick-headed, disingenuous motherfucker has the fucking gall to be offended at "gleeful, malevolent cruelty" posted on Twitter. As if his bi-weekly paeans to the suppression of flyover staters don't exist.
He would only be able to remember the tail end of that presidency, if that. However, his own book reveals his head was all the way up Mario's ass back then, so there's no way he was aware of anything beyond the Mushroom Kingdom.Bob was born in 1981, once again...there's no way in hell he remembers anything about Reagan being President.
Too bad they took that to its extreme in End Game.I thought Ragnarok was a decent flick, but I still kinda hate that they had to turn Thor into a complete farce to make it finally click with general audiences.
Yes it has, off the back of the Zelda game.Hasn't the Switch been doing numbers since launch? I know people were sceptical when it was first revealed, but from launch onwards I've seen nothing but positive reactions; aside from complaints about all the ports and joycon drift.
Not me. I've always insisted both brothers are fucked: just watch Chris's Patreon intro video.Remember when we all thought Chris was the smart, normal brother?
This is such a weird update video since for an update he spends more time crying over a Marvel commercial and sperging over Tucker Carlson.
So Bob's main experience with Halo is shooting fun. Also it's rather telling that in his alkie mind Smash and Mario Party were better ones. I kind of suspect he whined to his friends that they play that instead of Halo quite often.Halo and Halo 2 on the Xbox were the games of choice at first (not my favorite thing, but shooting is fun) but soon it was discovered that the GameCube Mario Party titles and Super Smash Bros. Melee were better compatible with half-drunken revelry. But as much I as enjoyed them in that context, I didn’t rush out to get my own copies – it was something I did “over those guys’ house.”
Bob then immediately realizes he sounds like a crack addict and loony over that, so quickly says that yeah of course remakes already were done, but don't worry, he slides back into burbling madness right quick:And it was during one such jaunt of casual browsing that something extraordinary caught my eye: boxes labeled “NES Classics,” with vintage-style cover art advertising that they contained direct ports of NES-era games for the Game Boy Advance.
So Bob, once more proving that consooming for him is one part drug-high and one part religious experience, falls off the wagon because he saw a GBA SP painted like a NES and realized he could totally Bing Bing Wahoo mobile.What I saw next to them, though, would’ve induced an honest to God spit-take had I been drinking anything at the time: a Game Boy Advance (Advance SP, if you want to be technical about it) painted and art-designed to resemble an NES.
I had to have it. Impulsive, yes—but I was unable to resist the opportunity to carry The Good Old Days in my pocket. Now… I needed games.
Nintendo always had an effective monopoly on the handheld market. The only difference was that the Advance was the first time they didn't have any actual competition. Before then there was minimal but noted efforts by SEGA with the Game Gear, and then there was Bandai's WonderSwanfor the Color. The Advance had Nokia's N-Gage... and that's it.What I’d managed to miss during my “break” was that, while Mario and the rest of the Nintendo menagerie had slipped from the top shelves of the console scene, their power and influence had grown a thousand fold in the realm of hand-helds.
Bob is dumb and wrong here too. Nintendo actually kept producing Advances and supported game development for it more because of caution than due to strength of the console. Nintendo wasn't quite certain if the DS would succeed due to its gimmick, so they sold it originally as its own thing. They didn't want to get burned like they did with the Virtual Boy.The Game Boy brand had run the show effectively unchallenged for so many cycles that it still had potency in the age of Nintendo’s newer handheld, The DS, and game stores were filled with used, low-priced GB and GBA games.
Fun fact for those who aren't aware of it: The Advance was actually a 32 bit system, having similar power to a PS1. They did 3d games pretty decently, barring the pitifully small screen resolution.I gorged myself on such games, discovering to my delight that the persistent tech limits of small handhelds meant that this particular gaming landscape was awash in polished continuations of my beloved 8 and 16-bit eras.
Note that Bob mainly focuses on classic Bing Bing Wahoo again, only mentioning SuperStar Saga because it has a plotline that validates his desperate hope that Bing Bing Wahoo can be seen as deep and treated seriously.And there were Mario games—lots of Mario games. Re-releases of the classics, the two “Land” titles I still had from before, and even “Mario & Luigi: SuperStar Saga” which played like an even more satirical follow-up to “Super Mario RPG.”
Bob would use the GBA and DS to hide in his car until mommy and daddy Chipman are asleep. Now this sounds creepy, but don't worry, Bobby explains why he does that... eventually.GBA (and soon enough a DS) was my constant companion, particularly useful for passing time sitting in the car after work, waiting for the rest of the house to go to sleep before heading home.
So you can blame Bob's third rate college for forcing him to get the equipment needed to make his videos.You see, around this same time I had picked up another hobby: making silly videos on the internet. I’d acquired some basic editing software with a new camcorder at one point, and had gotten reasonably good at using it in my college film classes.
Bob pretends he has any passion for film, at least beyond watching them.Putting videos together scratched my filmmaking itch (a second movie project with my Blockbuster crew had blown up in my face somewhat) but still living at home meant the only times I could have enough quiet and computer access to actually make use of it was when everyone else had hit the sack.
Here's Bob openly admitting that he's just another AVGN rip-off.I was getting pretty good at cutting together silly mock-trailers, but I had far greater amusement watching the more polished shows other guys were putting out. James Rolfe, another aspiring moviemaker, was transforming into an internet-age celebrity as “The Angry Nintendo Nerd” almost overnight, establishing “excitable Gen Xer rants about obscure stuff from his/her childhood” as the most popular web video genre going.
Bob cheekily references and bigs up Yahtzee. This segment was entirely because he also was on the Escapist when he wrote this, and Bob psychologically must have total success to not have an alcoholic tantruming meltdown.A few years later, a British-born Australian gamer named Yahtzee Croshaw became overnight the first “superstar” video game critic when his hilarious, insightful and mercilessly objective animated review show “Zero Punctuation” was picked up by an online game magazine called “The Escapist.” Hm…
Here's Bob calling his degree garbage and again admitting consooming is an addiction for him.I’d like to say that I saw my future then… struck by visions of a new path forward by a beam of sunlight down from heaven. But the truth is, I didn’t have the slightest inkling that I might’ve stumbled into a useful career outlet for both my (thus far) useless multimedia and film studies degrees and my gradually-reawakening video game fixation.
I was sceptical when I first saw the launch trailer. I didn't believe for one minute that they could pack those visuals into a handheld without either tanking the framerate or the battery life. I also didn't think anyone would wanna play AAA games on a handheld.I don't recall any skepticism on the Switch. That was a solid first commercial. However, if there was any skepticism on Nintendo's position at Switch launch, it was simply lingering confusion re the Wii-u and not grasping the significance of poaching the mobile monster hunter market for the 3ds in Japan
I would rephrase "already getting backlash" as "finally getting backlash." Most grifters and ebeggars keep their panhandling confined to their streams and podcasts. Chris has been shitting up his friends and family's Facebook and Twitter with his lack of shame for over a year and getting more aggressive with it for every financial setback. I'm just surprised that the boomers that are Chris' actual friends and acquaintances know the shameless e-begging terminology. Even when he does it indirectly through Bob's referrals, it reads like he's sitting next to Bob asking "did you press tweet yet?"I don't get why on blue hell A gown man thinks starting a podcasting in 2021 can be a reliable source revenue, but even if a nobody like Chris is already getting backlash for e-begging, then it is high time to stop.
Really Bob, where is the line between wearing a company's logo on your shirt and dressing up like one of their mascots?Oh the pain! The pain! THE PAIN!!!!!
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I'm running out of piss. Where is my craft beer?
The sad thing is that his dirty trick works:
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Note the dip in late April, due to bounced transfers. Hence Chris made up his sob story.
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This piece of shit is insulting people's intelligence.
Unlike his shameless brother, Bobby is full of dignity:
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Remember folks, it's not that Chris lost his house in Hurricane Sandy. He's not battling Leukemia. He just didn't do the math right on his home renovations... and he's hurting.Oh the pain! The pain! THE PAIN!!!!!
View attachment 2155271
I'm running out of piss. Where is my craft beer?
The sad thing is that his dirty trick works:
View attachment 2155277
Note the dip in late April, due to bounced transfers. Hence Chris made up his sob story.
View attachment 2155273
This piece of shit is insulting people's intelligence.
Unlike his shameless brother, Bobby is full of dignity:
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As a taxation employee once told me, "don't ever make financial plans around the government giving you money, because those rules can change on a whim"Remember folks, it's not that Chris lost his house in Hurricane Sandy. He's not battling Leukemia. He just didn't do the math right on his home renovations... and he's hurting.
Dad Chipman must have been the biggest puss in Massachusetts. I imagine most of our fathers would have taken a response like this:
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The scariest thought is that Bob is like the joker. "Just ahead of the curve."
Anyway, point is, back then even a fool could see that online was the way to go — which is why none of the eggheads saw it, natch — and so I began building my rep as an internet education guru by getting in on the burgeoning social media platforms. Back then Facebook was the hip new cool thing (that’s how long ago this was), so pretty soon I was using it almost exclusively to communicate with my students. And right away I noticed an interesting phenomenon: The kids seemed to lose track of who their “friends” were. They were posting things that, as they say in movie trailers, were not suitable for all audiences. But since they had a zillion friends, I figured I might be the only adult, and I certainly was the only faculty member, among their “friends,” so I gave them the benefit of the doubt.
Fast forward a few semesters, and the realization hit me: It’s not that they don’t know, it’s that they don’t care. While I carefully curated my posts following the rule I had beaten into me in the corporate world — “don’t put anything on the Internet that you’re not willing to see published on the front page of the New York Times” — they had no problem sharing everything, with everyone. They were utterly shameless.
Fool that I was, I thought this would catch up with them eventually. I’d even try to warn them — “you guys know this is all public, right? Meaning, when you go out for that first job, the HR department can see it?” Again, stupid on my part, because even though I knew that most HR ladies are just-graduated sorority girls themselves, I didn’t make the logical connection — they’re all on Facebook, too, posting the same kinds of stuff, so why should it matter? So long as the potential new hire isn’t obviously hotter and more popular than the HR girl, what’s the diff?
Not only that, but that goofy Frog Baudrillard was right — if it’s on the Internet, it’s not real, in some way that just doesn’t make sense to us oldsters. Back in the days, the worst anyone of my generation would do is take petty little passive-aggressive shots at coworkers — “I spent twenty minutes cleaning up my mess in the break room, unlike some people” — but the kids put it right out there: “@Becky is such a basic bitch, I hate her so much.” What to my generation would be an obvious invitation to take it outside just… wasn’t, for them, even though they were both right there on the same dorm floor and could easily have settled things the old fashioned way…
Turns out the Frogs were right about that, too. If you accept the basic PoMo premise that there’s no Truth, only perspective — and it’s like malaria, even if you fight it off, just being exposed to it compromises your system — then it follows that the only question that matters about any given act of “discourse” is: Is it effective?
That’s how you have to judge everything in the Current Year. What standard of value are they using, such that this piece of discourse is effective and that one isn’t?
In the case of “I hate @Becky so much,” the standard of effectiveness isn’t even “letting Becky know you hate her,” much less “socking Becky right in her smug bitch face.” The goal of that discursive act (as the Frogs would put it) is to get upvotes and shares — turns out Becky IS a bitch, and finally someone has said what we’re all thinking. Retweet!!!
A more concrete example, one I saw all the time in my teaching career before I finally pulled the plug on student interaction altogether: Becky got too drunk to write her paper last night, so she’s going to try the time-hallowed “Dead Grandma Story” in order to get an extension. But, of course, Becky’s wild Jagermeister adventure is all over social media… and she knows it. And she knows that I know it, since we’re “friends.” It just doesn’t matter. It never even occurs to Becky to go back and scrub that stuff out. She’ll just straight up lie to me, to see if I’ll bite, and if I don’t, well, no harm done. (Indeed, by the end — and this was still some years ago, y’all — she’d actually get indignant about it. What am I, some kind of creeper, for looking at her social media feed?).
It’s just discourse, and if that piece of discourse didn’t work, well, so what?
They really behave like that, y’all. And before you accuse me of failing in my duty of acting in loco parentis (universities still make noise about that in new faculty orientation, or at least they did as of a few years ago), know that it wouldn’t make the slightest difference. Telling Becky that her behavior is unseemly, and that it reflects poorly on her personal integrity, that indeed it makes her impossible to trust, simply wouldn’t register. I know, I know, but trust me, y’all, I was there, and it’s true — telling a Basic College Girl that she has a reputation to maintain is like asking your cat to factor quadratics. It just doesn’t compute….
….and if you’ve been following me through all the Froggy epistemology I’ve been avoiding discussing in detail, it’s easy to see why. None of it is real. Becky knows she’s a special and unique snowflake, but the reason she knows this is: Everyone agrees with her on social media, because they retweet and upvote her posts. Exactly no one in her Twitter feed is going to say anything like “well, that’s what you get for lying to your professor.” They’re not even going to say something like “damn, girl, you stupid for not deleting those selfies.” All they’re going to do is upvote and retweet Becky’s post about that asshole professor who failed her paper for, like, no reason, it’s so unfaaaaaaaair.
That’s the discourse that matters to Becky, and she controls it. Completely. (She has, of course, already blocked and banned anyone who might say otherwise from her feeds).
Now consider that this is the world of the upcoming political generation. When I say that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez IS the Basic College Girl, I mean it. I also mean it when I say that idiot is going to be President of the United States here before too long, and do you see why I say I’m getting a real July 1914 vibe coming out of Tubman, DF? None of what’s actually going on out in the world is real to them. Only Twitter is, and Twitter says a war with Ukraine will be a walkover, that China is no threat, but that there are a zillion “white nationalists” out there plotting insurrection. Given how accelerated time is in the Current Year, we could well see the Revolution happening at the same time as, or indeed even before, the Front collapses.
In some way I truly can’t understand, they’ve built this big beautiful wall around themselves — physically, in the form of razor wire and soldiers around the Capitol, but more importantly, mentally. Who is “Vladimir Putin,” anyway? Is he that creeper they had to block from their DMs?
Thank you so much for recommending this link. The Last Psychiatrist left quite an itch in me and this blog is filling in that niche.
Anyways, on-topic: don't feel sorry for Sarah. As dumb as she may seem, she has enough brain power inside of her to see the red flags of her husband's midlife crisis a mile away and she just went, "of course honey, whatever you want". She is not Chipman kin and despite how white trash she is do you really think that she hasn't had THAT talk with Chris about having Blob babysit her kids? Do you really think that Sarah, as a mother, wants her daughter to be influenced by a Moviebob type growing up and end up with a Moviebob type in 18 years?
I'm betting dollars to doughnuts that she has begged the chipman sister to spend some time with her niece more than once.
Chris is a consoomer like Bobby. Financial prudence and planning get in the way of dopamine hits.Did he not learn something along the lines of "spend money you actually have" at that point?
Weird how Bob can hit upon the truth only through exaggerated sarcasm and snark. Plus, Bob's team's stolen election fantasies got a 3.5 year congressional investigation. Is it so hard to be a graceful winner and let a few grillers and boomers hold some signs?People who believe that the 2020 Election was rigged are.... you know the drill already.
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Face it Bobby. You learned everything from TV too.
The man who thinks that the US should invade Brazil because Bolsonaro is letting the Amazon be destroyed (read: doing exactly what every other Brazilian president has done to the environment only this time he's right-wing so it's bad) is criticising people for supporting US interventionism?
Just once I'd like to see this man actually defend his atheism rather than just being euphoric and trotting out tired arguments like ”if God is real why does touching my dick feel good”.