Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Krathnami]

Im changing my vote.

This video absence has to have an element of deliberation to it, either Lucas's or a condition of social services.

It's persisted for too long, and the discovery of the paper attraction signs shows that he hasn't changed his "routine" (as if he could) but remains absent from his usual social media.

It's a headscratcher.

I think this is a really good theory. However, the prospect of consequences hasn’t stopped him from trespassing in the park that he is banned from. Maybe he genuinely thought he wouldn’t get caught or no one would actually care whereas in this case it was made abundantly clear that his online activity was being monitored. I agree it’s a head scratcher for sure. Unfortunately, we may never know the true reason. He certainly won’t volunteer the answer for it.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

He moved over to Airway Heights after someone told him "shut the fuck up faggot" while he was making a video.

What made him choose Airway Heights? Maybe he chose it because he wouldn't stick out too much there? That place is a dump.

 

[Da Dude123]

What made him choose Airway Heights? Maybe he chose it because he wouldn't stick out too much there? That place is a dump.

It seemed like a quiet area with closed businesses and possibly some wifi he was able to get on for free. A place with few people around where Lucas can scream into his phone like a loon and not worry about someone walking by calling him a faggot.

Also, Lucas filmed some videos of him at the casino over there. This was at the height of the CORONAVIRUS and fatty was not wearing a mask in the casino, despite the place being full of old people. I bet the casino kicked his hobo ass out of there. They don't take kindly to unauthorized recording and they do not like hobos and ragmen stinking up the joint.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

I think this is a really good theory. However, the prospect of consequences hasn’t stopped him from trespassing in the park that he is banned from. Maybe he genuinely thought he wouldn’t get caught or no one would actually care whereas in this case it was made abundantly clear that his online activity was being monitored. I agree it’s a head scratcher for sure. Unfortunately, we may never know the true reason. He certainly won’t volunteer the answer for it.

Agree.

This theory is based on the idea that Lucas could have a phone but just choose not to use it for videos.

No. Even if monitored on his social media vids, he’d still put his contact info on the signs. He doesn’t do that because he thinks that if he did, people would contact him that way and he’d miss the sweet teenypuss.

That’s the whole “find me IRL” bit.

But % he will not admit to any of this. Remember how he gave out his phone number totally on purpose as a test....

 

[Da Dude123]

I think he just still doesn’t have a phone. Who the fuck knows why. I think all this speculating on how a hobo spends his government cheese, or his movements around various neighborhoods of Spokane, is pointless and kind of autistic. He clearly hasn’t given up on the love quest, it’s compulsive. Probably he’ll get a phone again at some point. The attraction signs are okay but I need some psychotic videos haha

It truly is autistic and pointless, but what else are we to do? Our cow has gone off the grid and left us with only attraction signs on random street corners. He probably will get a phone or get back on social media, but we are left to wonder when that will be and why the abscence at all?

 

[Serialmom]

Maybe someone at the hobo camp told him that the signals from cell phones will contaminate his precious telomeres?!? So he won't get one? It's fun to speculate. We should take bets on why he is incommunicado.

 

[Laquisha Guntermensch]

There once was a bumcel named Wern
AOC! AOC! Feel the Bern!
To a fine zoomer bae, his telomeres say
"Fecund ova please give me my turn"

OK folks, you can get back to arguing. I'll see myself out.

 

[Da Dude123]

@Da Dude123 stay scared faggot keep reacting

You say something, you mad at the Internet motherfucker?

 

[AngelOfDeath]

He should qualify for a new Obiden phone with the tugboat, even if hes "lost" his current one? You're really disappointing me here Lucas...

 

[Buyooabooga]

Am I the only one who thinks those signs are not the products of Lucas Werner. Honestly, they seem super fake to me.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Am I the only one who thinks those signs are not the products of Lucas Werner. Honestly, they seem super fake to me.

Lol you are the only one, no one would go to that much effort to duplicate his stupidity and insanity (stupanity? Intupidity?)

Not to mention people saw him putting them up, too

 

[Krathnami]

Am I the only one who thinks those signs are not the products of Lucas Werner. Honestly, they seem super fake to me.

I know this makes me sound supremely autistic but I’ve followed the fat faggot long enough to recognize his handwriting when I see it

 

[Buyooabooga]

Lol you are the only one, no one would go to that much effort to duplicate his stupidity and insanity (stupanity? Intupidity?)

Not to mention people saw him putting them up, too

Nevermind, something seemed missing, but upon looking at his "b"s and "s" s, its definently him

 

[QueenBurritoSupreme]

Lol Lucas has been posting similar notes since Suzanne dumped his fat ass. It’s his MO. Look at all the sticky notes he left on Cyril’s car.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Bulla had an odd charm to him, even if unlike Lucas, he actually did commit a heinous crime (he raped his stepdaughter). He was also genuinely insane enough he wasn't really completely responsible for his actions. Still, RIP. I was sad to see him go, but I wouldn't be if Lucas fell in an open manhole, into a fire, and died in it.

The Bulla comparison interests me. They're the same species of lolcow.

Spoiler: much tldr

Both are (or were, RIP Bulla, whose death has complicated my uses of tenses and pronouns) abnormally horny, and not shy about it. Neither was a catch, nor endowed with the the kinds of qualities that women appreciate in abnormally horny men. Their libidos were matched by commensurate mental illness, social deficits and poverty.

While the world may be full of sex crazed retards, very few have been able to leave such a durable impression on social media. In generations past, Bull and Lucas would not have the means to become the legends they are today. Lucas, for example, would merely be a bit of Spokane lore, something whispered about by spooked Spokane teens at slumber parties.

Schizos and tards, Bulla and Lucas arrived at the same conclusion, through the different paths of religious bullshit and crackpot science: I am plenty good and entitled to the sex I want with the hottest babes.

Bulla believed that his friend God promised him a hot babe "to marry and fuck," while Lucas believes that biology, mathematics and the structure of reality itself entitle him to a fecund teen bae.

Bulla succeeded at sexual predation, while Lucas lacks the savvy to. In this respect, Bulla was better than Lucas. Further comparison does not favor Lucas. Consider:

1. Bulla was married, unlike Lucas.
2. Bulla had a daughter. Granted, she was a stepdaughter, and his rape victim, but he came closer to being paterfamilias than Lucas has, or will.
3. Bulla was less homeless than Lucas. Granted, this may have more do with their family circumstances than individual qualities and decisions, but Bulla wasn't a hobo.
4. Bulla wasn't a chickenshit coward.
5. While not particularly well endowed, Bulla's wiener is not as comically small as Lucas's.
6. MRSA

Bulla was in his 60s when he produced his most legendary content, and if I remember any of this bullshit in 20 years, I look forward to comparing 60 year old Lucas to vintage Bulla.

Im changing my vote.

This video absence has to have an element of deliberation to it, either Lucas's or a condition of social services.

It's persisted for too long, and the discovery of the paper attraction signs shows that he hasn't changed his "routine" (as if he could) but remains absent from his usual social media.

It's a headscratcher.

If there is indeed an element of deliberation in Lucas's content drought, then it will be over soon. Lucas will fail all things he attempts. It's written in the stars.

If there is also an element of coercion involved, say a social worker telling him to chill with the midlife crisis shit, then the drought will be over soon, too. I can't credit Lucas with the ability to follow rules long term.

Evidence shows that the ineffable urge that drives Lucas to produce, and display, attraction signs is intact. One would assume Lucas would rather be posting them on IG rather than telephone poles, but perhaps he thinks he's targeting them locally by placing them on telephone poles.

 

[ThomasAudley]

I think I generally agree he got driven out but here’s a couple other fun theories:

his tugboat got cut off and he’s really fucked.

Isik has no phone or social media and gets laid all the time, perhaps Lucas is giving it a go and has been convinced the phone and IG is actually whats cockblocking him.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Can it be Lucas isn't posting to get us talking more about him?

Seems like a few others do this; why not Lucas?

But I've had a few beers, so ignore that if you like.

 

[Club Sandwich]

Can it be Lucas isn't posting to get us talking more about him?

Seems like a few others do this; why not Lucas?

But I've had a few beers, so ignore that if you like.

Lucas strikes me as the type that thrives on attention, but he has to carefully control the circumstances of that attention and how he is perceived because of insecurities and shortcomings (real or imagined). perhaps something is out of his control right now that prevents him from sperging out in videos - maybe he finally got socked in the jaw and it's painful to speak or he's missing teeth or something obvious that would raise questions and is avoiding that look. perhaps he has an alternate outlet like some chat program or something that's eating his attention at the moment.

i doubt he would "lay low" voluntarily. since he's still posting screeds and seemingly has the same goals and ideas of how to accomplish them, he's likely unable to use IG or FB for whatever reason, and has gone back to posting hand written missives in random areas. perhaps he got robbed or is avoiding court dates by losing his phone or keeping it turned off and out of contact hoping things go away (which will net him a bench warrant). hard to say precisely.

 

[soulgains]

Bulla had an odd charm to him, even if unlike Lucas, he actually did commit a heinous crime (he raped his stepdaughter). He was also genuinely insane enough he wasn't really completely responsible for his actions. Still, RIP. I was sad to see him go, but I wouldn't be if Lucas fell in an open manhole, into a fire, and died in it.

Him being a raping a young girl and being pedophile is inherently not charming. Im glad that fucker is dead, in fact he should've been got sooner. Bullets are the only cure for these kinds people.

 

[Free the Pedos]

is avoiding court dates by losing his phone or keeping it turned off and out of contact hoping things go away

I think this theory has legs.