Although, his parents sent him a $25 PF Chang's Gift card once on his birthday. That shows how much they care, right?
I love how the ragman circles back to how much money his parents have and how that makes him plenty good. The fact that they let him be homeless and don't speak to him doesn't change that he will inherit the Elk Kingdom.
These Lucas contradictions are something that fascinated me, because of how ignorant he seemed to the apparent hypocrisy in his actions.
1. Guys with money are bad, so date me because I don't have money, but I really do have money, actually I'm a secret inherited millionaire.
2. Guys who are young are immature, and I'm more mature because I'm older, so watch me scream on the street, froth at the mouth, and throw tantrums like a spoiled, denied child, cuz that's real mature.
3. Baseball caps with flat brims are bad, actually baseball caps with any bend on the brim are bad, and are worn exclusively by bad people, actually becoming a group token representative of all the worst characteristics I associate with other men, and yet I film myself for large periods of time wearing a baseball cap, but I don't become one of these despicable men with baseball caps.
4. Misogyny and homophobia is bad, so is racism, now watch me use the strongest epithets associated with those three transgressions over and over again, more than any human being.
5. Youth culture slang is stupid, and indicative of an extremely low intelligence. But I'm fluent at it, and I'll use it (actually misuse it) over and over again, to the point where no one can even understand the slightest bit of what I'm trying to say.
6. Rap is bad and I hate it, actually I characterize white youth who listen to it with a variation of the n-word epithet, indicating that they're as low as that word. Now watch me make pathetic attempts at raps, and film myself repeating the same stupid diatribe over and over again, in a very rap-like fashion.
7. I'm in favor of the legalization of all drugs, and being a snitch is bad. Now watch me try to blackmail people who I think are using or selling drugs, by threatening to contact the police and report their drug use activity.
8. You can tell I'm not racist because I have friends who aren't white; I'll even go out of my way to film videos where I'm making physical contact with them, because that's something people do. As soon as they don't do what I want however, I'm going to start making jokes about having them deported, and I seem shocked when I enter a middle class restaurant with any black clientele, because I don't associate black people with nice restaurants. That's how fundamentally inherently racist I truly am.
Hmmm....Any I'm missing?
Edit:
9. Greed is bad, in fact it's the primary vice that I decry, and the root of my entire worldview. Now watch me consume a buffet table's worth of food, enough for a large family, while lying shirtless on my back, rubbing barbecue sauce onto my chest, and chicken fat into my hair.
10. I'm a brilliant scientist, I have a great deal of research involving a heretofore unexplored and ununderstood area of human genetics, about the potential for super offspring to be created by the union between older men and younger women. Now watch me be so fundamentally scientifically stupid, that I rub a prescription-strength antifungal foot cream onto my entire face, and seem shocked, shocked I tell you, when my head swells up to the size of a Thanksgiving parade float. I had "a cold". You could see it "around my eyes" (meanwhile head is the size, shape and color of a medicine ball) But I'm a scientist.
