How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Very much ups and downs. I had to put down one of our dogs a few weeks ago who suddenly showed lung cancer. She died too young. Today I had to put down another who has been declining for the last year. On the other hand, this weekend I traveled out of state to pick up a puppy. So while I'm sad we lost the one dog, it wasn't a surprise, and I have a super cute puppy who likes to cuddle.
 
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Menotaur said:
People have never met their political idol (Biden, Trump) and yet devote their entire lives to them, defend them, donate to them, are entirely emotionally tired up with hem, lose friends over them and go to the grave for them.

And they get fucking nothing. So does he really have to meet someone for it to be real?
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Yes.

If you devote your life to a cause or person you've never encountered in person, you aren't all there, imo.
 
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Someone asked me what I do for fun and I just said "Mostly studying aha" and they basically said, "Really, what else?" And all I could come up with was studying. Not a good day.

I've also been learning to drive. I drove 3 miles on a real road without killing myself, so I'd call that a win.
 
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I had a dream about my dad telling me to text my ex because he probably needs support.

I decided to wait for him to start a conversation first though. We are still good friends but I can tell he’s going through shit and doesn’t think he’s able to afford help and I know you can’t help those who don’t ask or want help. I’m trying to improve myself, honestly, it’s a painful process but I can do it.

Anyways, I interpreted my Zoloft dream as this, I subconsciously miss my ex and I see my dad as someone who gives helpful advice. I didn’t text my ex but instead my father because he was still in town and we don’t see each other that much. Dad was happy to chat with me too.

I’m in a better mood that’s noticeable too.
 
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Samir said:
I've also been learning to drive. I drove 3 miles on a real road without killing myself, so I'd call that a win.
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I need to do this too. I feel comfortable with the physics of driving but actually having controls in hand is another thing. I need to find some good quotes on local chink drivers schools
 
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I hate the military so goddamned much. Nothing I've ever done for them has ever been anything I can be proud of. Not in some righteous sense; but like when I was a dishwasher and enabled bussers to enable cooks to enable good mornings out, I was proud of that; some chain of custody of smiles. No matter what minor sail or major operation, I never came back thinking "Yeah. Someone was made happier by this, and that's what counts."
 
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Mom came back from the hospital yesterday and finally got the medicine she needed from her previous visit. She complained how small the beds were and that the food there tasted like 'retirement home food', but i'm just really really happy she's home and safe. We're celebrating with chinese take-out. Life's good.
 
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I've finally been feeling better the past couple weeks after roughly two months of one thing after another (first a mono-like viral infection that lasted several weeks followed shortly by what was believed to be an opportunistic bacterial infection that left me with a week's worth of the most painful sore throat I've ever experienced in my life).

Amid all that, the family dog had to be put down, which was extra hard on my mother because with this dog's passing, they aren't going to get another one and it will be the first time our dwelling is dogless since before I've even been born. This was right before a beach vacation where I was just well enough to go and enjoy myself.

And now I'm very tepid about what I want to do with my life. I have no income, not even gibs (I don't "quality" for any of the freebux) but I'm frankly anxious about getting a conventional job thanks to both threats of mandating mask bullshit again (I can barely breath in the damn things for any length of time) plus the inevitability of forcing the jab if you're in any type of public service. But my parents are up there in age, so I know time is running short for me to spread my wings and leave the nest, but everything about the world each passing day is just so increasingly terrifying that I feel like a deer in headlights, frozen in place out of sheer fear.
 
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Family life is wonderful, going on vacay next week. All is well on that front.

However, I'm very, very worried about a friend I've had since 6th grade, a friend I love dearly. She has an ex client that is stalking her, sending messages, calling, creating new accounts and still calling/messaging/texting. He had attacked his ex wife, when he was ruled against in court he went to the judge's house and attempted to break in, 8.5 years ago he broke into a family's house at 4 am, ate a coffee cake, watched TV, poked around their cabinets and didn't want to leave when confronted. I guess he wasn't violent that one instance, but dude is obviously a whack job.

She's filed police reports because she thinks he's been prowling around the house, she has firearms and knows how to shoot, and she has thought about getting a no contact order but you know those things don't do shit. I just don't know how this dude isn't in prison for all the things he's done.

I don't know how to help her, I dug up as much info on him as I can, I'm pretty sure I've found his address but I don't know how to look into people like you good Kiwis plus I have no idea what I'd even do with that info anyway. I'd like to send some of my husband's very scary contacts from his frightful youth (gang members) but he's not about that life anymore plus we'd have to shell out some money I'd imagine. I just don't know what to do and I'm afraid for her.
 
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Cheerlead-in-Chief said:
Horrible. Contemplated cutting myself and still depressed and on my period. Thinking of straight up lying to my therapist in upcoming virtual meeting tomorrow.
Also though last night that for a legal guardian my mom is a scumbag for threatening to send me to a one-way ticket to an institution I was sent to (and live in proximity to) for any minor inconvenience to her.
EDIT: Did my virtual therapy and it was meh.
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It's unfortunate in many instances that personality is largely influenced by genetics. Being mentally aberrant often comes with having mentally aberrant parents. Doesn't help. Further, like attracts like so you're probably gravitating towards mentally aberrant people because those are the people you can most easily relate to. Remember no one is entitled to honesty, this is something expected when we cooperate not when someone wants to hurt you or doesn't care.
Tell your mom what she needs to hear. Tell everyone what they need to hear. Find the least fucked up person who will hear you out and stay next to them. Good luck.
 
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