POLICE ISSUE A STATEMENT

[A Grey Cat]

He clearly knows something we don't. His people will arrive soon to free him.

fitting choice given how the next film all but flat out said (in the producer's cut) that Michael and Jamie had an incest baby together.

 

[Shanndog]

I was just thinking about this earlier because people kept bringing up how crazy he looks in the mugshots and arrest footage. I don't know about autism but it definitely seems like there's something else going on here that just never got diagnosed, people just blame everything on Bob and Barb.

well a lot of it is bob and barbs fault, its also his teachers fault as they were enabling and too lenient i mean they should have not even entertained the whole 'sonichu'' thing, that is still copying characters that were already created, the assignment was to create YOUR OWN.... , and one of those things his parents did is not getting him treatment and monitoring, and its their fault for feeding into his fantasies and delusions, as well as keeping him largely isolated and ignoring and expecting him to ''just figure it out ''-- and plus chris has done so much since his school years to self sabotage himself and burn bridges where a few people actually genuinely tried to step in and help him, bu he rejected it at every turn and kept doing stupid shit and never having to face responsibility and consequences. smh

 

[vlcsr]

I really hope the minsgendering stuff doesn't get in the way. I want the supreme court to have to make a statement about the Chris Chan case and whether mother "daughter" incest holds the same punishment alongside them having to respect pro-nouns or whatever it would be.

This case is never going to the fucking Supreme Court unless it’s for some obscure jurisdiction issue, in which case they will barely talk about the facts of the case.

I keep seeing people say shit like this and it’s just never gonna happen.

 

[Shanndog]

He may have multiple, co-morbid disorders along with autism. The delusions he has and the interactions with others/ thought processes he goes through is very evident of a personality disorder rather than just autism.


Either way, the coddling from his parents and environment he lived in allowed this to get out of hand. I’d like to think jail time would help him but I think he’s too far gone, look at that smile he has in his mugshots, he loves attention no matter if it’s positive or negative I think he knows it’ll be seen by thousands.

YES i hve been saying this for a long time. he definitely has co-occurring conditions, he is very mentally ill, hes got personality disorders and hes always been delusional and irrational . yeah hes always thrived ever since elm. school years, on doing things that would draw attention to himself

 

[DefinitelyNotABot]

What sort of incentive would any judge or lawyer have to not do their job right in this situation? Chris sure as fuck ain't paying them. I also doubt chris can afford the same lawyers as hollywood/pentagon rapists--- those guys could probably get chris off but not a pd.

if you think that lawyers don't love to see mommy rapists locked up as much as you do, and that they profit from setting them free you need to take your meds.

Unless null is using that GFM money ...

Null refunded that afaik

 

[A Grey Cat]

Just because he believes some far out things, I don't think that's enough for him to be deemed criminally insane.

He doesn't meet any of these:

"

1. The accused is not able to understand that they are in a courtroom, who the people in the courtroom are (i.e., the judge, their lawyer) and why they are there; OR
2. The accused is not able to understand what they are charged with, what kinds of pleas they can enter (i.e., guilty or not guilty), what can happen to them if they plead guilty, or what can happen if they don’t tell the truth in court; OR
3. The accused is not able to communicate with their lawyer and tell them, even in basic terms, what they want to do with their case."

1. Chris will probably demand to see Amanda bynes as judge trudy and or the black judge from the Simpsons.
2. chris will deny all charges against him and say it was just barb and chris performing some "ritual" to restore her youth and memories.
3. I give any lawyer three minutes with chris's ramblings and sperging before they give up on him because he's demanding to be be represented by Harvey birdman and or Lionel Hutz

 

[Desu Vult]

Who's taking bets on if Shim get's shanked or raped first?

Shit beaten out of him on day 1 (not for being a motherfucker, but just for pissing somebody off), and segregation for the rest. IF he even goes to prison.

 

[Meat Target]

What sort of incentive would any judge or lawyer have to not do their job right in this situation? Chris sure as fuck ain't paying them. I also doubt chris can afford the same lawyers as hollywood/pentagon rapists--- those guys could probably get chris off but not a pd.

if you think that lawyers don't love to see mommy rapists locked up as much as you do, and that they profit from setting them free you need to take your meds.

tbh i think its much more likely they throw everything possible at him than let him off ez if theres any funny business in court
Unless null is using that GFM money ...

I hate to go off on an A&H jeremiad, but Kyle Rittenhouse clearly defended himself from a convicted chomo and domestic abuser, respectively, both of whom were in the act of attempting to kill him. The case for self-defense could not be more open-and-shut.

Alas, the two criminals he murked had the correct politics du jour, and so he's being charged with Murder 1.

That case is neither here nor there, but my point remains: the legal system is far more interested in defending shitbirds instead of decent people.

 

[Titos]

I know the Aryan Brotherhood doesn't accept chomos but how do they feel about literal motherfuckers? What are the chances Chris gets out of jail looking like a True Detective villain?
"CWCville is a flat circle"

 

[MarkofdaBOOG]

I know the Aryan Brotherhood doesn't accept chomos but how do they feel about literal motherfuckers? What are the chances Chris gets out of jail looking like a True Detective villain?
"CWCville is a flat circle"

It would be really funny if Chris Chan joined the Aryan Brotherhood

 

[Optimus Prime]

It's like Ralph. The largest genuine improvements in his life happened when he was in jail/immediately after getting out and he's been spiraling back down ever since. Sometimes the best medicine for people really is to be isolated from society and forced to readjust to reality outside their little bubble - the question is whether Chris is actually capable of stepping a toe outside his delusions anymore.

For ease of understanding, The Merge/Dimension C-137 (Because Idea Guys/Rick and Morty or something) is really nothing more than a bastardized mutation of Chris's escapist fantasy he's had pretty much since his activity started getting tracked, originally being CWCville.

That established, it's safe to assume Chris won't ever let them go. Before this past weekend, Chris already was pretty much in heavy denial of reality. He had no job, was stuck in a shitty house taking care of his elderly mother (who I might add he'd been trying to foist off onto Cole for years so Chris could shed the responsibility and go continue his Love Quest), his glory days long past him, and his favored franchises were all moving on despite how desperately he didn't want them to change. He also had spent time claiming he was possessed by Sonichu, earlier still claiming that he had developed psychic powers like the ability to move paper with his mind and moreover fucking fly, and had weirdly grasped onto Hyper Neptunia or whatever it was called, making himself a video game console goddess of the Commodore 64. The Merge was the thing he was looking forward to because he had nothing else actually to look forward to in real life.

Thus, why would he let go of his dreams of impossible grandeur, of the omnipotent life he always wanted where people actually like him for who he is, in favor of the shithole reality that is, y'know, reality?

tbh i think its much more likely they throw everything possible at him than let him off ez if theres any funny business in court
Unless null is using that GFM money ...

No, Null had all the money returned after he discovered Chris was lying about the money stolen from Barb's accounts.

 

[A Grey Cat]

he gives himself the rope.

Chris hanging himself in prison

(Goddamn youtube age restrictions)

 

[AbraCadaver]

You can tell it disturbs them by how vitriolic some of those comments were.
It's not surprising. Denying one person their pronouns is enough for the entire house of cards to come crumbling down.

Well you can’t just ADMIT that some people are not trans women, but are in fact balding creepy male losers scraped off the bottom of the dating barrel, who think they can’t do any worse “as a lesbian” in their pursuit of sex than they were doing as an incel man…and who, far from being a woman with female perspective, think Women Live Life On Easy Mode and it’s high time they helped themselves to all of that.

That would mean critically examining individual claims of transness, and thus oppression and/or whether that person has a right to female-only spaces. And that absolutely cannot be. Autogynephiles must be brushed under the carpet. Creepy men, who suddenly discover the Woman Within exactly at the precise moment when they are sentenced to a male prison, are DEFINITELY women and not men trying to avoid what they see as the tougher incarceration experience. And creepy men who become transwomen and then complain nonstop that the cis-vagina’d among us won’t let them hit that with their girldicks, those are also for-real transwomen too, not straight men with a dressup fetish.

Nuance must be avoided at all costs. Chris is a woman. Yaniv is a woman. They must be women, otherwise someone might try to sift out the rest of the pervert frauds from the trans community.

 

[Titos]

It would be really funny if Chris Chan joined the Aryan Brotherhood

Well, the nazis created fanta so it's pretty fitting. Only this time the nazis may be cumming inside Chris instead of the other way around.

 

[pogo]

Null refunded that afaik

No, Null had all the money returned after he discovered Chris was lying about the money stolen from Barb's accounts.

this is what i get for making a joke about null getting chris a good lawyer in the chris chan police statement thread

 

[NOT THE BEEEEES!]

YES i hve been saying this for a long time. he definitely has co-occurring conditions, he is very mentally ill, hes got personality disorders and hes always been delusional and irrational . yeah hes always thrived ever since elm. school years, on doing things that would draw attention to himself

Definitely. I know a lot of autistic people, and none of them rape their moms or try to give themselves DIY vaginas. Not being able to read social cues doesn’t automatically make you a monster of this proportion. He’s gotta be a narc or a sociopath as well.

 

[Epic Fail Man]

Why is this fucking asian dude showing up every time I search Chris Chan?

No one gives a shit about Harry Potter or asians.

 

[ugly popstar]

I imagine people are going to be sending Chris mail and he will find a few penpals in jail/prison. The saga doesn't end until Chris dies.

 

[Spectre777]

Anyone wondering what Sockness is doing right now in regards to Chris fucking his mom and being sent to jail?

 

[A Series Of Tubes]

Why is this fucking asian dude showing up every time I search Chris Chan?
View attachment 2405868
No one gives a shit about Harry Potter or asians.

Is that the same one who privated his Twitter account after the motherfucking news blew up? Dude is going to go apeshit eventually