11/24 Happy thanksgiving from Chris

[Sperglord Dante]

Here's my theory:

A fucking ween like watermelon ran into the the cutco cwcki article and thought it'd be hilarious to pay Chris 50$ to shill cutco's shit again.

 

[AnOminous]

I found out a package of that turkey ham costs a little over $5. Add to that the cost of what looks like 5 boxes of Kraft Mac n cheese and you have a typical Chandler family Thanksgiving for under $25.

So even eating a pile of gross shit, they managed to eat more expensively than a real turkey dinner, which averages under $5 a person.

 

[Toki Wartooth]

Did Chris even make any money from Cutco? I doubt he was able to sell a single set of knives.

 

[Apocalypso]

talks of Cutco and how he's stuffing his face.

View attachment 156442

Chris:
IIIII'M COOKED on a feeling
Potatoes are steaming
Turkey with hot GRAVYYYYY!

 

[Slowinthemind]

HAHAHA FUCK! He is still trying to sell those knives 20 years later.

 

[BF 388]

Replace "'chicken" with turkey ham

 

[Slowinthemind]

Replace "'chicken" with turkey ham

That Fanta......

 

[Bunnie]

That Fanta......

Yep, That Sweet Sweet Fanta

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Maybe when he turns 35, she'll let him use the oven.

Spoiler

 

[Bunnie]

Chris probably went to Rocky for lego money, and she just gave that to him to go away.


It would be a lot sadder if you did not know about the road that has led them both to this point.
Chris has been given a chance to be friends with so many people, yet all he does is act like a pompous lunatic around most of them.

Yep, a psychopathic duo of fatties who are too weak to live

 

[Garfieldchu]

That Fanta......

CWC orange soda. Fresh squeezed.

 

[Mary Lee Walsh]

I wonder if he threw any spices in the mac and cheese like oregano, salt, or navy

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Yep, a psychopathic duo of fatties who are too weak to live

Not just that, Chris is not grateful for anything. As well, who were Chris and Barb thinking about when they get the insurance money and the care packages from kiwifarms.....no one

Who was Chris thinking about when he was squandering money on useless toys at Toys R' Us in the tackiest, sluttiest drag he could find....no one but Estefania Bustopasteles.
Chris and Barb have used and stepped on anyone within 100 feet of them including the late Bob Chandler, and now that Bob is dead, they can no longer vicariously milk the charisma and few social connections he had.

 

[The Dude]

That there dinner is fancy! Fancy, I tells ya! I'll bet they got themselves a real nice, expensive wine to warsh it down with, too! Sump'n real classy, like a jug 'a Thunderbird. That's some real hoity toity grub right thar. It's a white trash Thanksgiving after all!

Also, I wonder if Chris is shilling his CUTCO wares because he's planning on selling the set they own. For far too much money, of course.

 

[Slowinthemind]

Also, I wonder if Chris is shilling his CUTCO wares because he's planning on selling the set they own. For far too much money, of course.

I hope so, the second hand knives business is booming.

 

[RichardDripp]

Here's a closeup of his culinary disaster:
View attachment 156448

That stove top needs a deep clean, oy vey.

 

[Pikonic]

Turkey ham and Kraft mac and cheese? I'd rather eat food from the 7-11.

I mean, I know it's not Gordon Ramsey level, but it's something Chris would eat at his own wedding sooo
5.5/10 the effort is there.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Also, I wonder if Chris is shilling his CUTCO wares because he's planning on selling the set they own. For far too much money, of course.

Probably. He must have been setting up to make Thanksgiving this year, rediscovered the cutlery, and recalled they were shit he sold - not remembering that he didn't actually sell any. Since he's perpetually demanding more money and rarely uses kitchen utensils as it is, it's just another thing to try and hock - the 'still sharp after 10 years' bit specifically as it can't have been used more times than can be counted on one hand.

 

[Pikonic]

I just looked up that thing and it's SIXTY-EIGHT FUCKING AMERICAN DOLLARS.

 

[HumanBeanbag]

And of course, cut/carve with the patented Double-D edge.

Maybe this whole thing was just an excuse for Stephanie Bustcakes to titillate himself by writing 'Double-D'.