7/20/2016 Phil e-begging for a machette

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Psycho

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
[GALLERY=media, 2258]Image by Psycho posted Jul 20, 2016 at 6:47 PM[/GALLERY]
 
Good, please start carrying that around downtown Portland.

Can't wait to see you getting arrested in the news for threatening hobos and cops with it, Phil

"#PreventHomeInvasion" lol what home
 
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And of course he wants an over priced piece of shit instead of a proper, rough hewn tool of the proletariat.
 
Wow, us and Chris got a mention. For someone who is "constantly under attack" he sure has a lot of focus on people he doesn't interact with day to day. Why no #houselesscismandefence?

Edit: Holy shit, just realized one tag is #preventhomeinvasion. This from a guy who constantly talks about being homeless.
 
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No one needs a fucking machete unless they're going bushwhacking. Or ethnic cleansing, I guess. Does Phil have any beef with Rwandans we should know about?
 
If Phil actually got one of these, I am pretty sure that he would immediately strike a fearsome pose, and cut his own ear off in the process.

This, of course, would be blamed on the Cis Male Transmysoginyst Conspiracy.
 
I can't wait for him to start swinging that thing around like he thinks he's a ninja. Them tries to do some bullshit weeaboo maneuver he saw on Naruto and winds up stabbing himself with it.
 
Phil, please. We all know what happened to the last person who went after Chris with a knife:

SchuComicSP4P3.jpg
 
Does he have anyone in his life left who'd be willing to buy him a machete (or any birthday present for that matter)?
 
"#biggerknivesthanCWC?" Jesus fuck, I doubt Chris even remembers that he had a knife. I find it utterly hilarious that Phil sees himself as a rival to Chris, whereas Chris doesn't even know he exists. When Chris is cooler than you, I think it's time to re-evaluate your life choices. Like breathing.
 
sugoi-chan said:
Does he have anyone in his life left who'd be willing to buy him a machete (or any birthday present for that matter)?
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The only people who actually pay attention to Phil and who would willingly purchase something that would get him in trouble is us. A machete on a retard is a recipe to get shot by the cops.
 
It's probably $20 on trueswords or bud k. Jace had a similar tactical tomahawk that broke in the video he made bragging about it or the holster or something. It's crap. You couldn't slice a block of cheese with it.
Edit: anti kiwi security system? It'll prevent somebody from taking pics of you at the library by putting you in prison instead great idea
 
Phil, that's a really bad idea

1) you "already have a gun" so "kiwi farmers better run"
2) you have no home and your are recognized by the state as unemployable so you could run into brandishing problems...esp consider you intend to brandish it
3) you are going to get shot or a brick to the head pulling that shit out
4) they can be sharp and you might cut yourself...may I suggest a nerf one
5) it's going to be MUCH harder lying to us about hacking someone with a machete than it is fibbing to us that you maced someone
 
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