7/20/2016 Phil e-begging for a machette

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Smutley said:
Rose Haven Day Center for Women and Children
Care of Isabel Rosa Araujo
Deadly Weapon Enclosed
627 NW 18th Ave,
Portland, OR 97209
Click to expand...

Okay, I couldn't find the exact model he posted a picture of so I got him the Coldsteel Latin Machete Plus in 24". The blade looks a bit narrower than the one he wanted but it has a serrated back and comes with a sheath. It was only $40.
 
Amy Lee of Evanescence said:
Coldsteel
Click to expand...

e2e.jpg
 
Amy Lee of Evanescence said:
I don't know much about swords and knives and shit but I googled them for reviews and they seem to be a quality brand.

When Phil gets jammed up for murder or GBH or w/e I want a forum trophy.
Click to expand...

Oh contrair the happen to bee amazingly shite even by weekend worrier standards, the only decent thing they make is a fucking shovel and that's because it's a simple bit of pressed steel with a wooden pole.
 
I'm going to take a wild guess and say that everywhere Phil travels, there's a blade length law. He could maybe get away with having it in his bag since he's homeless, but ha ha if he put a knife like that on his hip. If he actually got one I bet there'd probably be some 'please sir can you not leave that lying on the table' at the library and the accompanying REEEing.

My only experience with machetes is that if you let them get dull, they're surprisingly good tools for breaking up ice. Sharp, they're a decent rhubarb harvester.
But if you want to hack up meat, even in imagination land, why not a meat cleaver? It's right there in the name.
 
Fallensaint said:
#newhomeideas #preventhomeinvasion

Nigga you homeless and live in a shelter.
Click to expand...

He doesn't even live in a shelter. @MMX proved the shelter he claims he's living at closed down months ago.

U. cinereoargenteus said:
I'm going to take a wild guess and say that everywhere Phil travels, there's a blade length law. He could maybe get away with having it in his bag since he's homeless, but ha ha if he put a knife like that on his hip. If he actually got one I bet there'd probably be some 'please sir can you not leave that lying on the table' at the library and the accompanying REEEing.

My only experience with machetes is that if you let them get dull, they're surprisingly good tools for breaking up ice. Sharp, they're a decent rhubarb harvester.
But if you want to hack up meat, even in imagination land, why not a meat cleaver? It's right there in the name.
Click to expand...

Don't know about Oregan but you can walk around with a machete in California. There are no blade length laws here as long as the item is carried openly. Plenty of businesses won't allow you in with one though.
 
If I was to get him a machete, I'm not, I'd get him one of cold steel ' s two handed jobs. He'd probably run around like the weeaboo sped he is with the katana one.
 
U. cinereoargenteus said:
My only experience with machetes is that if you let them get dull, they're surprisingly good tools for breaking up ice. Sharp, they're a decent rhubarb harvester.
But if you want to hack up meat, even in imagination land, why not a meat cleaver? It's right there in the name.
Click to expand...

Because it's the only weapon he's able to get his hands on legally that's intimidating, You see when Phil post's something like this you have to forget the tool aspect of it and approach it from a 13 year old tyce clone that's only ever been exposed media like Saw, Hostel and any Danny Dier film. All's it has to be is flashy and long / sharp and it will give him a chubby on.

'tism said:
If I was to get him a machete, I'm not, I'd get him one of cold steel ' s two handed jobs. He'd probably run around like the weeaboo sped he is with the katana one.
Click to expand...

There is a few cosplay pic's of him in just such a stance with a training sword.
 
Phil is dumb. You cant carry something like that around Portland , you would be stopped by every single cop that passes you and it would be either confiscated or Phil would be arrested. Secondly I could see if Phil was like gonna take his talents to the forest to rough it like alot of homeless do but what good is a machete in downtown portland? Does he think he's gonna be able to take that to his homeless shelter?

Only survivalists and 13 year old child soldiers in Liberia need machetes
 
Darndirty said:
Phil is dumb. You cant carry something like that around Portland , you would be stopped by every single cop that passes you and it would be either confiscated or Phil would be arrested. Secondly I could see if Phil was like gonna take his talents to the forest to rough it like alot of homeless do but what good is a machete in downtown portland? Does he think he's gonna be able to take that to his homeless shelter?

Only survivalists and 13 year old child soldiers in Liberia need machetes
Click to expand...

He said new home ideas, maybe he plans to go find a forest and live off the land-BWAHAHAHAHA!

Oh man, I almost got through it without laughing, but the idea of Phil trying to be a mountain man is just too funny.
 
Darndirty said:
Phil is dumb. You cant carry something like that around Portland , you would be stopped by every single cop that passes you and it would be either confiscated or Phil would be arrested. Secondly I could see if Phil was like gonna take his talents to the forest to rough it like alot of homeless do but what good is a machete in downtown portland? Does he think he's gonna be able to take that to his homeless shelter?

Only survivalists and 13 year old child soldiers in Liberia need machetes
Click to expand...

Strictly speaking, Oregon does not have laws about open-carrying a machete. The only laws I could find on blades in Oregon is it's illegal to conceal switchblades and foldout blades of certain lengths (a standard pocket knife is okay). So basically it's the same there as it is here in Commiefornia. A guy walking around with a sheathed machete on his hip is not breaking any law.

Granted, Phil looks like probable cause incarnate and there's a chance a cop might stop him if he's walking around with something like that. The fuzz probably won't confiscate it though, unless Phil starts attempting his badass fuck da police persona. But from what we know the guy shrivels up when authority figures talk to him.
 
Darndirty said:
Phil is dumb. You cant carry something like that around Portland , you would be stopped by every single cop that passes you and it would be either confiscated or Phil would be arrested. Secondly I could see if Phil was like gonna take his talents to the forest to rough it like alot of homeless do but what good is a machete in downtown portland? Does he think he's gonna be able to take that to his homeless shelter?

Only survivalists and 13 year old child soldiers in Liberia need machetes
Click to expand...

Replicant Sasquatch said:
Strictly speaking, Oregon does not have laws about open-carrying a machete. The only laws I could find on blades in Oregon is it's illegal to conceal switchblades and foldout blades of certain lengths (a standard pocket knife is okay). So basically it's the same there as it is here in Commiefornia. A guy walking around with a sheathed machete on his hip is not breaking any law.

Granted, Phil looks like probable cause incarnate and there's a chance a cop might stop him if he's walking around with something like that. The fuzz probably won't confiscate it though, unless Phil starts attempting his badass fuck da police persona. But from what we know the guy shrivels up when authority figures talk to him.
Click to expand...
I was going to say, AFAIK it's legal to walk around with a machete on your hip, but unless you're somewhere that having one wouldn't be out of place, like the coast, Scio, Silverton, or any other area around the sticks, you'll get some funny looks from the fuzz. It also depends on what you look like. If you look like you've been out hacking brush nobody will really bat an eye and most cops or sheriffs might ask a question or two, but aren't really going to hassle you so long as you don't act like an asshole. Phil though look like a stereotypical edgelord tough-guy and would not only get wind up questioned by cops but would have other wannabe tough-guys trying to start shit with him for carrying around a large blade.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom