Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[a llama weighs 450lbs]

she doesn't need to be in a salon chair for someone to lop her ponytail off. at this point it doesn't matter if the world's best hair stylist cuts her hair or becky does it while shitfaced, she'd still look like a mutant.

i'm honestly surprised becky doesn't have a hilbilly relative who works at cost cutters and does at-home hair appointments for some side money. that would probably make amber feel like the big time youtube celebrity she is.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

I wonder how much she weighed in that pic. I know toddlers sizes vary, but she seems pretty plump even taking baby fat into consideration. Maybe my perspective is skewed, though.

Weight is not really the measurement of choice for little toddlefats. Everything is based on "developmental percentiles". Mobility, height, weight, eye-hand coordination, head shape/size, etc. Kids develop at different rates and a death fat toddler doesn't necessarily yield a death fat adult.

But in Hamber's case? Gorl was pushing the 175% percentile at two. 28 years later, she's in the 600% percentile for weight.

 

[Punkinsplice]

I don't think she was an ugly toddler. Not saying that she was especially cute, either, but at least her eyes were both pointed in the same direction. I get some antisocial vibes looking at little Al, though. As another farmer said, "empty" (dissociated?). That is more troubling than whether she was cute as a kid.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

Put me in the so far, short, column of those who don't think she was an ugly toddler. She was definitely already overweight & there is a blankness in the eyes that, knowing how she is now, may have presaged adult problems. Most kidlets that age being photographed have some expression in their eyes, happiness, anger, sadness... hers already look either empty. If she were older I'd say guarded but she's too young to have learned that... I think.

 

[Punkinsplice]

Her hair is long enough to cut it herself, but she would have to brush it. She just needs to part in the middle, bring both halves to the front like she is making braids or pigtails. Then she just cuts off what she wants gone (hopefully the entire blonde part) and brush into the style she will wear when it is down. Then someone else can trim any uneven bits that she can't reach. She just needs to get real hair cutting scissors.

 

[Whale Lake 2]

At least if she had a heroin addiction instead she'd be skinny, and she'd have no monetary reason to stay addicted since it's not like youtube allows you to upload videos of you shooting up.

Nah, she'd be Luna Slater 2.

Or 1, considering that Amber was born before Luna.

 

[Puta Bruja]

And UGLY AF and babies aren't often deemed ugly.

This is exactly what I was thinking when I first saw the baby picture. Haha. Most babies are inherently cute and end up growing into being an ugly duckling but big ol baby Hamber just was not a cute lil chub baby she thinks she was. It's comical how much of a narc she is even at 600 pounds. I didn't think it was possible for someone as girthy and inheritly unattractive as her to have such a bad case of dysmorphia that she finds ways of convincing herself that she would be a real life famously loved and desired super model if only she was skinny. But yet here we are.. Horrifically watching her eye fuck her fat face in her view finder with kissy faces and chin dabs admiring something that no one else can see. Mental stuff is scary guiz.

 

[Cooking Mama]

Her hair is long enough to cut it herself, but she would have to brush it. She just needs to part in the middle, bring both halves to the front like she is making braids or pigtails. Then she just cuts off what she wants gone (hopefully the entire blonde part) and brush into the style she will wear when it is down. Then someone else can trim any uneven bits that she can't reach. She just needs to get real hair cutting scissors.

She could also look into having a stylist come out to her house. It’d be more pricey, but if she’s not wanting to go to a salon and doesn’t want to cut her hair herself... the problem with this, however, is that she’d have to clean her house and bathe as well. Might be too much work.

 

[literally low-key]

There is a salon nearby that can accommodate her. It's where she had her hair color done. She brought the whole gang with her along with bags of McDonalds.

 

[sweaty chafing thighs]

Even still, if she went to a salon where she was too fat for the chairs I'm sure they could just bring out a folding chair without arms or something for her to sit on (they could even technically move the chairs in front of the sinks). I'm sure she's not the first or last colossal fatass a salon has ever seen, they're just not going to invest the money in chairs for a girth so far outside of the norm.

 

[RandallBoggs]

She could always hit up a horse groomer, I'm sure Kentucky has a fair share of those. Someone like that would probably find it easier to detangle her mane than a regular hairdresser

 

[Grey-ish]

Any Coronavirus in Kentucky yet?

 

[Moonpie]

There is a salon nearby that can accommodate her. It's where she had her hair color done. She brought the whole gang with her along with bags of McDonalds.

And she's gained at least 100lbs since then.
I'm sure she wouldn't even fit there now.
She could easily cut it herself. If she would.

 

[giga melt]

Even still, if she went to a salon where she was too fat for the chairs I'm sure they could just bring out a folding chair without arms or something for her to sit on (they could even technically move the chairs in front of the sinks). I'm sure she's not the first or last colossal fatass a salon has ever seen, they're just not going to invest the money in chairs for a girth so far outside of the norm.

I've mentioned this before but it would all depend on the salon. If she goes to a place like Walmart Smart Styles or something basic/for poor people then they're not likely to turn her away but the fact is getting Amberlynn's ass into the chair is only half the battle. The stylist will have to pump it up high enough to be able to cut her hair. Amber would probably not be able to stand straight-backed and shoulders-even to get it cut standing up, which is what we do for people with hair as long as hers because you can't bend yourself in half to cut someone's hair you'll die.

If they can't get the chair up it's a risk for the stylist hurting themselves either by craning their back or neck or cutting themselves due to the unnatural angle they were not trained to cut hair in.

Sure, someone's shitty boss might make them do the cut or the shitty boss might do it themselves because they don't want to turn Amberlynn's bux down. Still, there are limits. She would need to lean forward to get it shampooed because her neck hump is too big to sit her back in a shampoo bowl, the chair wouldn't pump up if the stylist doesn't weigh enough to off-set Amber's half tonne body, wouldn't be able to stand long enough to get the ends trimmed down. Stuff like that.

I think she won't go get it done because she's embarrassed and not because of being refused, but it's likely she may have been turned down by a privately owned "swanky~" salon/spa she wanted to do a vuhlog in and is ashamed about it.

Also I saw the "fat salon" somebody posted and that makes my whole body cringe holy shit. Half those women shouldn't be getting pedis anyway because even someone prediabetic shouldn't get a foot soak it's actually illegal for a licensed stylist to do. As for the reinforced chairs or whatever just. God. Those poor bitches working there mustn't have another way to eat.

 

[JaneThough]

There is a salon nearby that can accommodate her. It's where she had her hair color done. She brought the whole gang with her along with bags of McDonalds.

Didn't they do her hair in the waiting area, because she can't fit in a salon chair?

 

[Agoodpotroast]

Well she definitely can't do her hair in a salon now. The most reasonable thing for her now would be to pay to have someone come by her house and do her hair for her. Though it is disappointing that she's not dumb enough to try and bleach it herself. Or more likely, put a bunch of box dye on it and show genuine confusion when her hair doesn't lighten.

 

[Kitkatty]

Yet another poll on YouTube...

Comments are the usual flac for not following through on anything.

 

[Fascist Ferret]

Someone beat me to it, but the fact she has "I'm not here for weightloss" as an answer is such a joke. Theres a glimmer of narc hope that anyone gives a solitary fuck about her life beyond the fact shes a trainwreck. Sad!

Edit, someone else's screenshot from earlier has more comments, not less. Amberlynn is deleting comments. @Kitkatty very sus huh

 

[kiwirevolving]

She's been on YouTube for 6 years but still didn't realize that one of the reasons people watch her is to show her weight?

Edit: Why bother with weigh-in anyways. She'll give up as always and gaslight her viewers or just cry about how hard it is for her to step on the scale because of some dumb reason (I ate before weighing in/I'm swollen so I'm gonna weigh more/I wore a dress so I'm gonna weigh more)

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Didn't they do her hair in the waiting area, because she can't fit in a salon chair?

amber was sitting in the waiting area when she had the dye in her hair, chilling with destiny.