Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[I call shenanigans]

How long until she ghosts her new health squadron and decides to do intuitive eating again?

She'll never stop "intuitive eating".

I don't know much about wls, but I suspect she would probably need to see a cardiologist, probably a surgeon for her gallbladder, lots of labwork, and other testing (maybe a cat scan) see a dietician and/or a nutritionist, I believe you have to take an 8 week class from one or other. She would also probably need to see a gyno. And let's not forget, and Amber should already know this since she frequently goes to the ER, but she would get a separate bill from the hospital, the lab, the anesthesiologist, and other medical professionals that were in the operating room helping. Not to mention, she will not be able to lose the weight she needs to before the surgery.

Let me help you out because I know a lot about it.

Spoiler: Bariatic Surgery Requirements Sperg

First a specialist bariatric doctor or nurse practitioner will order a shit load of blood tests. They'll test for all the usual full blood count stuff, liver function testing, kidney function tests, A1c plus thyroid function, detailed cholesterol panel, iron studies, and many vitamin and mineral levels. Any issues found during that testing then needs to be addressed by an appropriate specialist, so you can add in a potential endocrinologist and/or haematologist clearance. Then it'll be on to a pysch clearance. At her size she will need to get clearance from a cardiologist which will likely require an echo cardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart) and a heart stress test. A sleep study, and following that because we know she has sleep aponea, most surgeons will require she has settled into using her CPAP machine. They'll know that by requiring a respiratory specialist to examine the remote monitoring of her machines data and verify that she has used it consistently for a number of weeks. Most clinics will absolutely require pre-surgery classes with dieticians, nurses, and exercise physiologists at a minimum....and this course happens before she'll even get an audience with the actual bariatric surgeon. She won't need to see a different surgeon for her gallbladder issues because bariatric surgeons are upper GI general surgeons at a minimum before specialising so will remove a diseased gallbladder during WLS if a scan shows an issue. They will want a recent CT Scan but she has one of those although we don't know if hers was abdominal/pelvic as well as her chest. She won't need to see a gynaecologist. Although some surgeons require a current pap smear and breast screen, Amber had a total hysterectomy and BSO so has no parts down there to test. She will very likely need an endoscopy to check her stomach health and look for hernias, and potentially a colonoscopy as well (but this isn't as universal a requirement as the endoscopy). These two procedures tend to be the final steps and would also be managed by the bariatric surgeon as he/she is the surgeon who'll be working on the stomach, and in the case of a gastric bypass, the intestines.

If you have the ready cash to spare, a well organised patient can sometimes work through all the required testing within 4-6 weeks. We know though that Amber is neither cashed up or well organised. The real delays happen when testing shows issues that need to be resolved prior to surgery, like ED'S, sleep aponea, diabetes, fatty liver, heart conditions etc. These issues need to be stable and controlled prior to surgery, and that's where the real delays come into play. Amber's going to come up against a barrier every step of the way.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

That is very similar to the requirements & steps listed by the center in Ottawa that does bariatric surgery. I looked it up when Chantal was pretending she was working to get that. Of course, there's also the liquid diet liver cleanse.

 

[I call shenanigans]

That is very similar to the requirements & steps listed by the center in Ottawa that does bariatric surgery. I looked it up when Chantal was pretending she was working to get that. Of course, there's also the liquid diet liver cleanse.

Lucky for Amber, she won't make it to the immediate preoperative liver cleanse diet stage. There's no way she could be compliant with a diet that is just protien shakes for a minimum two weeks before surgery. Admittedly some surgeons these days allow a lean and green diet but calories tend to tap out between 700-1000 calories per day. The calories are to come from protien with a ton of green vegetables and no carbs other than those in the veg. No generous WW points allowed and no cheat days either. At her size, many surgeons require the liver reduction diet to last anywhere from 4 weeks minimum up to (I've actually known of this) 3 months prior. If they suspect a patient will be non-compliant a surgeon can ask for regular liver ultrasounds to check on their progress before actually scheduling the surgery.

For those that don't know the liver reduction diet is started after surgery is approved, it is the final stage of the process. It's entirely different to any diet suggested and monitored before surgical approval.

 

[StupidSexyBob]

I had a dream last night where I invited Amber over to my place for soup, and she ate the entire pot before I could even have a bowl

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

I had a dream last night where I invited Amber over to my place for soup, and she ate the entire pot before I could even have a bowl

Weed dude. Stop smoking it! (Daphuq I'm talking about... I grows it. Legally.)

 

[ExplodedWhale]

So I've been lurking this thread (and site) for years but I've obviously very recently got my own account, so here's my obligatory "first post!!1!" just to get it out of the way.

I just wanted to say re: day 11 video…
Amber is such a control freak, she was crawling out of her skin when Jade was doing the makeup.

She was trying to be quirky and funny making faces and being like "oh no!!1" but it wasn't in good humor. There was annoyance behind it.

She swears she doesn't have control issues, though. I think she regrets trying to be the ~UwU bebbeh girl submissive sex kitten~ she's been forcing since the beginning of this. She was obviously happier being a sexless lump with Becky.

Like 99% of things with her, she thinks it's cute but ends up showing that she's horrifically miserable lol.

(I know I probably haven't added that much new to the convo, because we all know our gorl sucks the life out of any room she waddles in, but yeah. For some reason it was very apparent for me, or maybe I'm just reminded of how she is, even when she denies it or tries to edit it out.)

 

[Boolean Bitch]

I'm in a good mood today, so instead of poking McPhat, I'm looking to find ONE redeeming quality she might have.

I'm having trouble here...

Okay.

1. I'm not married to or related to Hamber in any way and therefore never have to interact with or see her in person.

That's redeeming, right? Right?

Ooh, this looks like a fun game. I'll try next:
Amber's over-reliance on fast food deliveries has assisted many struggling DoorDash drivers with being able to buy Christmas presents for their children this year!

============

eating octopus balls, lipedema struggles, & addiction (tw) 🎄 vlogmas day 12

www.youtube.com

LOWLIGHT REEL WITH COMMENTARY. Totally NOT a reecap, because that would mean I'd have to stay focused through this whole shitshow and not space out. Today is Vlogmas Day 12, or December 11th in the Amberverse. Ooh, takoyaki. I wonder if she got it from that Yamato place where she gets the sushi?

TL;DR: Bullshit. Time wasting. Whining. Amber's predicament isn't her fault. Amber is immune to addiction despite also having an addiction. Amber thinks Takoyaki is octapus testicles.

Spoiler: eating octopus balls, lipedema struggles, & addiction (tw) 🎄 vlogmas day 12

Amber's "not in it to win it" today. This vlogmas editing is actually taking TIME! She had to put 4 WHOLE HOURS OF WORK into editing her last video, and that's just UNACCEPTABLE for the $20k+ that she'll make this vlogmas.

Jade's present was "The Ultimate Sneaker Book" because books is good for the brain, I suppose. It's like an encyclopedia for shoes. Jade said she's 'obsessed' with it. My GOD these two bitches share a brain.

'SCRATCHER' UPDATE: Amber has made the financially sound decision to let the money ride and keep buying tickets until she loses all of the original $152. In round 2, she spent $89 dollars (I'm guessing $88 as they are $2 tickets) and "won" $76 (so she LOST another $13, or $76 of the $152). Amber's doing this just this one time because it's Christmas [Didn't you know that the 3 Wise Men presented baby Jesus with Gold, Frankncense, and scratch-off tickets?!] It's SO ODD for people to be warning her about a transference of addiction! You haydurz are REACHING! [In your Q&A, I thought you said you stopped watching reaction channels, Amber? And you already said you stopped reading the comments.]

TRIGGER WARNING PLACARD TO TALK ABOUT ADDICTION!!! Jade isn't enabling Amber's addictions!! Amber's done drugs, drank alcohol, had to take pain pills, AND scratched tickets before. And NOTHING'S gotten her addicted yet. In fact, she smoked AN ENTIRE TWO CIGARETTES IN HER LIFE AND DIDN'T GET ADDICTED, SO THAT'S *PROOF* THAT SHE CAN'T GET ADDICTED TO STUFF! Oh, except food. She got addicted to food. Amber says this is inappropriate to discuss because people suffer with this.

FUCK YEAH!! RIGHT ON, AMBER!!! YOU KNOW WHAT?! YOU SHOULD BUY EVEN MORE SCRATCH TICKETS!!! GO GET'UM, GORL!!! GO ON, YOU DESERVE IT! [OMG the schadenfreude from her downfall will be AMAZING]

VC ANDREWS GEMINI SERIES UPDATE: Amber still hasn't started it - but she's totally going to read the prologue... on camera to eat up vlog time. Fuck you, Amber. Go buy more scratch tickets. Prologue was challenging because Amber's exceptional it was boring. Amber gave a synopsis: There were twins, and ... something happened - I spaced and I'm not rewinding.

LIPEDEMA UPDATE: Amber's totally been moving lately - but the same amount as usual [???]. She won't rest to let her lipedema get better because 2019 was the era of being bedbound, not 2022! [Wasn't she ALSO bedbound in 2022 for her dangleen ankle and dangleen lung?] When her lipedema 'gets swollen like this' there is always a huge gain on the scale. [Though I'm sure that has NOTHING to do with her current diet strategy, or the fact that she's been hoovering up subs and WW candy bars, right?] Amber suspects she's gained back the 9 lbs she lost last week. Amber says the scale doesn't always correllate with how well she's doing.

He's some Advice, Amber: If the scale readout starts with a 3, 4, or 5, it DOES correllate with how well you're doing, and you're doing a SHIT job. Don't worry, I won't charge your (non-existent) insurance for this consultation.

EATING MOLMENT: TAKOYAKI. Amber is so stupid, that she thought it was octapus testicles. Of course Amber has to gag and act like it's the most disgusting food on the planet despite not really even taking a bite. Seafood boil is fine, but a teeny piece of seafood inside of fried batter is just too far. Even Jade sounds annoyed by Amber's antics. I've found the cure to her weight issues! Just feed her takoyaki 3 meals per day! Oh, Amber bought Indian food to replace the takoyaki.

POST NAP MOLMENT: Amber discusses her sleeping schedule. She falls asleep at 6am and wakes up noon, tries to sleep at 8pm and wakes up at 10pm. Sounds like 8 hours of sleep per day. A weird sleeping schedule, but NOT insomnia. Amber claims that her sleeping has ALWAYS been like this - even when she was in college or working [is everyone pressing 'X' with me?] Amber wants to show everyone during vlogmas the extensive list-making and filling out of planners she does every day [that results in zero actual accomplishments other than placing orders with DoorDash, Amazon, or Torrid].

AMBER WANTS YOU TO KNOW: She is here for you if you ever need to talk.

 

[caffeinated_pirate]

I was watching old videos compilations tonight and I saw that glorious vid where she is out on a walk and nose dives to the pavement while filming. Forgot that existed.

That’s my vote for best Amber moment ever.

 

[My Cat Is Racist]

eating octopus balls, lipedema struggles, & addiction (tw) vlogmas day 12​

Spoiler: Archive

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Spoiler: Time to power through Vlogmas Day 12

0:00 ‘Hey guise!’ Hey AL. ‘Welcome to Vlogmas Day 12.’ Say it with me, all: Fuck your intro.

We have a brand new bottle, because this fucking bitch.



0:20 ‘Today, I’m just not in it to win it.’ So AL isn’t into this shit anymore. She says that she’s feeling tired and sluggish and is upset that it took her from 2337 to 0333. So almost 4 hours. Apparently she clipped an hour of footage down to 33 minutes. And the shit she left in was absolutely terrible, which makes me grimace that all the shit choices of bullshit she left in there were on purpose.

1:26 AL dribbles liquid foundation directly onto a brush to apply to her face, and offers it to F/JFoNY:MGF,W. I’m not fuckin’ makeup guru or nothin’, but aren’t there like blender sponges or shit you’re supposed to do that with? I’ve never seen nor heard of ‘put your liquid foundation on your brush and smear its bristles all over your fleshy bits’ as a proper application technique.

1:36 So control-freak-AL dabs that shit where she wants it, which is one sploot on each cheek, one smack on the forehead, a glob on the nose and the rest on her chin(s) before handing the brush over to F/JFoNY:MGF,W so she can smush that shit all over her fatty face. Gah, looks like this is going to be a regular thing on her stupid videos. Time to drink more, as I am bored already. Actually, time to drink because AL says ‘it’s like a little massagie’ and I am beyond over her infantilizing every fucking thing that comes out of her mouth.

1:45 Clip doesn’t last long. We got to Twinkie in her bed and AL baby-talking at her. Twinkie is looking so fucking good these days compared to her meat-loaf days. This is one thing I’ll graciously thank F/JFoNY:MGF,W for - the dog no longer looks like a waddling sausage, which is a grand improvement. Of course, though, AL is giving her treats, which is the only way Twinkie interacts with her. Maybe the comments about F/JFoNY:MGF,W training Twinkie got to her, because she does the ‘paw’ trick… except unlike with F/JFoNY:MGF,W, where Twinkie literally just gave a paw and then moved on to the next trick, Twinkie uses her paw in AL’s meat mitten to get her other paw up onto AL’s wrist-fat and be able to reach the treat and pluck it from AL’s sausage fingers. So it wasn’t so much a ‘paw’ trick as it was a ‘Imma use your hand so I can reach that fucking treat you imbecile’ moment. Note the proper use of the word ‘moment.’ Also of note is that when F/JFoNY:MGF,W was interacting with Twinkie, there was tons of tail-wagging. No tail-wagging for AL. Though I’m sure that if/when they break up, AL will keep the dog (if she’s still alive). AL shows off that Twinkie is getting DreamBone (a rawhide alternative).

2:12 Still proving that she’s a lazy shit, she updates her stupid chalkboard and her press-board thing from Vlogmas Day 10 to Vlogmas day 12. She’s so fucking on top of this crap, you guise. Sho dedicated to her job situation type deal molment baebeeeeey, love that for her.

Yup, drinking.

2:20 Christmas gift time. It’s F/JFoNY:MGF,W’s turn. F/JFoNY:MGF,W opens with ‘My God! She is real hefty!’ It’s not a ‘she.’ It’s an inanimate object wrapped in more inanimate objects. It does not have chromosomes. It does not produce gametes. Therefore, it has no sex. You assburger. Anyway, F/JFoNY:MGF,W gets to work opening this shitty present to reveal ‘The Ultimate Sneaker Book’ (she guesses it’s “some sort of reading device” before even getting the wrapping paper torn, and AL cackles like a drunk hyena about the wording). F/JFoNY:MGF,W mimics AL’s deep, breathy gasping and mutters that she’s obsessed with this. They’re assimilating each others’ personality traits, folks. Meaning neither has a personality. They’re just a vapid conglomerate of retard. Retard squared, if you will. AL says ‘it weighs like 50 lbs’ except obviously not. F/JFoNY:MGF,W starts flipping through from approximately the center of the book, and after a few page flips lands on a page dedicated to the Nike Jordans, titled ‘The sneaker breaker guide to Jordan I through to XXIII.’ AL makes a retarded comment: ‘Ooooh, Jordan 23. Reminds me of that Miley Cyrus song.’ And there goes the first glass, ladies and gents.



Refilled and ready to resume.

3:22 We’re still on the stupid sneaker book. F/JFoNY:MGF,W promises she’s definitely going through it. AL talks about the reviews online, and it’s apparently a collector’s item for sneaker-fanatics. AL says she was nervous about it, but F/JFoNY:MGF,W assures her that she did ‘good’. AL goes on that it’s heavy, and it’s gold so it’ll look good for decor (because what else are books good for? Obviously not for the brain, because AL has none to utilize). F/JFoNY:MGF,W assures that she’ll find a place for it. I am sipping away because this is insipid beyond compare. It’s not quite at yesterday level of fuck-my-ears-with-a-chopstick, but it’s pretty close.

But AL let’s drop a fucking bomb - she says ‘like in the office, but not in here. Or in your closet. Meaning she sure as fuck doesn’t want to see that book out and about in her apartment.

CUNT.

4:15 Scratcher update. So she has decided to keep buying scratchers with the winnings off the scratchers. @Boolean Bitch has already revealed the ‘winnings’ ($76, so a net loss of $13). ‘It’s a gift that keeps on gifting until it has no more to give.’

5:22 AL’s cuntiness is starting to ooze out as she goes off about how people are stating that she’s transferring addictions. Fools - she’s not transferring addictions. There’s nothing that can replace food in her puerile little life.

She continues on that she thinks that people are really reaching. Like I’m reaching for some almonds to go along with my whiskey. She continues to whine that she’s not addicted at all. She thinks it’s fun, and she’s going to continue having fun.

5:45 Fucking white placard - ‘Trigger Warning.’ She voice-overs that it’s a trigger warning for addiction. Because of course for content, she’s got to wax on about this shit until the end of fucking time.

6:00 She feels it’s important that she brings this up because she’s been reading comments (which she said she’s not reading) concerning F/JFoNY:MGF,W being an enabler feeding AL’s addiction(s). AL sallies forth to explain that she’s done drugs, drank alcohol, done multiple scratch-offs, ‘things that would cause someone to be addicted’, pain meds, cough syrups, and has never been addicted. She’s smoked 2 cigarettes and didn’t get addicted (probably because she coughed and nearly vomited during those few first trial puffs and didn’t bother going back to try anymore). Pain killers, alcohol, drug, gambling, she’s never been addicted to it, you shitmonger!

We know she’s only been addicted to food and to finding diagnoses that could justify her retarded behavior and laziness and refusal to actually better herself.

7:03 Oh, she actually admits to the food addiction. If only she’d admit that she doesn’t have BED and is simply an overeater. That’d be grand. She continues on that ‘this is false outrage because this is just a fun gift based on some fun TikTok’s that I’ve been watching recently’ and waaaaaah don’t hit her with addiction transference and shit. PLEASE STOP LEAVING COMMENTS LIKE THAT, ASSHOLES.

7:47 STILL hasn’t read the Gemini series. But she’s gonna read the prologue! So get off her fat ass, you people harping on her to read the shit!

The prologue is only a few pages, so she decides to read this shit on her vlog. Jooooooy. We watch her flip pages with her fat meat mitten. And of course, she doesn’t read it out loud or anything - we just get to see her fat face behind a book, silently staring at the page. We never see her flip it, either. I will actually now say something positive!

At least she didn’t have us sit there and watch her the entire time she struggled with her limited literacy to read the prologue of the stupid book.

There we go. Time for more booze sipping.

I am realizing just now that we’re barely more than 1/3 done with this video, and I’m already 1.5 tumblers of whiskey into this shit. Sailor-mode activated, y’all. Let’s hope I can type coherently until the end.

8:25 ‘That was underwhelming.’ So tell us about it! She says the story’s going to get good, but the prologue was boring, so it was challenging to get through. She says the prologue was about two twins (no, really? Not three twins? What about four?) and the Mom has a favorite and it’s kind of creepy, because her favorite dies and she makes her daughter (her favorite was the son) be more like the son. Whatever.

8:55 Lipodema update. It’s ‘the worst it’s been’ because she’s doing a lot of movement and walking and shit. Apparently she hates sitting in bed, which is cracking me up. She says 2019 was the era of her being a lump in the house and she doesn’t want to get back to that, and we giggle because it took her a year to admit that she was actually housebound during 2019. She whines that she should be resting, but fuck that noise, she wants to live her life! (Drinking now) Blames everything on her lipodema, of course, because nothing can be the fault of her and her inability to stop hovering 5,000 calories a day into her maw. ‘My feet are swollen. It sucks so bad.’ Waaah.

Oh, and she says the scale doesn’t correlate with how well or how bad she’s doing, it’s all based on her lipodema. Except you’re doing fucking horrible, as @Boolean Bitch already said, because you’re well outside of the 110-135 range you should be in as a 5’2” human female. Dipshit.

10:17 Oh, she’s whining about how she’ll have to deal with this for the rest of her life. No worries, AL. It won’t be that long. ‘My lipodema’s so bad I’d have to get surgery after surgery (x4).’ Says there’s a lot of people who don’t know what lipodema is that watch her, so she’s going to read the definition straight off Google. Because her audience is too retarded to google that shit for themselves.

10:50 She’s reading about how it’s hereditary and how it doesn’t have to do with weight, and she seems to be somewhat flummoxed about that. I dunno, I’m drinkin’ (and breaking up a spat between two stupid cats), leave me alone.

11:10 Gah, this bitch is whining about how all the rest of her ailments are due to her weight, and ‘the one thing that’s keeping me from losing the weight’ EXCEPT IT’S NOT. You’ve NEVER done a proper diet to reduce your weight, you shithead! GAH. Sorry, sorry, will stop ranting. Just need to drink a little more. Drinking, resuming reeeeecap.

11:24 Bah, she’s still going on about what lipodema is. Which is her making excuses for herself.

11:47 Except now she goes into this first week on Weight Watchers (this is, what, first week number 17? I dunno, folks. I’m getting quite tipsy. My nose feels tingly and my fingers aren’t registering keystrokes as much as they should) being quite awesome, losing 9 lbs. But she gained it all back ‘with how swollen I am’. I dunno, AL, it might have something to do with all the SHIT you’ve been shoving in your face. Like shrimp scampi without the shrimp or tomatoes but with a garlic knot. And fries with cheese dip. Small callout that Rarity’s tail was in this entire bit, but she ignored her cat.

12:01 Oh, now she’s having takoyaki. A favorite of mine. F/JFoNY:MGF,W explains that it’s octopus balls. Because yes, they’re literally just a delicious dumpling with octopus in it. They are dumplings made with dashi powder, stuffed with octopus, red ginger and green onion, then covered with tempura scraps. OMG they are fucking good. I had them from street vendors when overseas during port calls, and I could fucking drown myself in them. Nomnomnom. These… don’t look overly authentic, but I’d still eat them.

AL is confused and thinks that octopus testicles are involved in this shit. She is an ignoramus of the highest degree. F/JFoNY:MGF,W has to clarify that its octopus that is formed into the shape of balls. Which isn’t technically correct, but whatever, I’ll give it to her for being almost on-point.



Gotta stop with the refills because the other person in this house will be disappointed to find this new bottle completely emptied thanks to AL recaps. Fuck my life. Let’s hope this lasts for the last 9 minutes of this shit.

12:30 AL holds a tokoyaki ball up for the camera, and says ‘I am genuinely…… ewwwwww.’ Uncultured swine. I will say it has more sauce than is necessary, but that’s to be expected on the continental 48.



AL IS DISPLEASED LOLZ

She instantly puts it down and says ‘Actually, baebeey, I don’t know if I can.’ What a fuckin’ wuss.

12:41 Well, she takes a bite. And makes a face and twitches and makes baggy faces. She says she almost puked. F/JFoNY:MGF,W says ‘If I would not have told you it was octopus, you would never have known’ and I actually grew with Jade in this. AL’s overreaction is due to her thinking it’s octopus balls. And she’s already made the connection in her little braincells that it’ll be gross because it’s octopus balls. AL says she wouldn’t like the flavor, and F/JFoNY:MGF,W snarks back ‘Okay, baebeeeey!’ In the most sarcastic voice I’ve heard from her yet lol

13:16: Ah gah, why does she open this like it’s a bedroom scene? I don’t need sleep paralysis demons. I’m already on my third (and destined to be my last) glass of whisky, you shithead. Let me make this last, please? Anyway, AL is going on about how she ended up falling asleep and how she falls asleep every night around 2000 or wakes up 2200 to 23000 and sometimes 2400. Because she’ll be awake forever, and then fall asleep around 0600 to 0700. Wait, I thought she was fixing her sleep schedule? WTF, AL?

14:08 Takes a moment to break from her bitching about her schedule to talking about how Rarity’s come to her for attention because she’s blathering at her camera and Rarity needs some damned human interaction and some shit. I took this opportunity to return the bottle to the liquor cabinet because I cannot finish this bottle on my own. The other person in this house wants to taste it, and AL cannot monopolize it, dammit.

14:14 Fuck, now she’s back on how she wants to do a vlog on the shit she doesn’t normally vlog. And that would include her making a stupid list that she apparently makes every single day. It’s probably nothing more grandiose than a simple chore list, knowing this vapid sack of blubber.

14:38 Now she contradicts herself instantly. She says she makes a list every. Single. Day. But today, she didn’t make a list. Make up your fucking mind, dingbat. Either you make a list every day or you don’t. Fucking hell.

14:50 She’s just blathering on about how you can’t wake up in a good headspace every day. I have no patience for this shit. Sippin’ on my whiskey and eating almonds is far more pleasant than listening to her whine. Because she’s whining about how this is a day she wouldn’t normally vlog, because she’s feeling off. She’s taking her meds because she’s a whiny bitch.

15:30 Oh, now she’s back to what she thinks she was trying to say. I don’t even know anymore because this damned whiskey is making me see doubles of just about everything now. She’s blathering on about how as long as she gets done what’s on her list and she’s productive daily it’s good. And she knows that we know that she doesn’t complete anything - except she says that doesn’t apply to her planners or her list making. It only applies to her big goals like 100 days of filming. Or Vlogmas.

16:18 She’s STILL going on about her fucked up sleep schedule. NO ONE CARES. She’s saying that even when she went to college/worked normal jobs and I’m laughing and going ‘what?!?’ Because that never actually happened.

16:52 Apparently stopping estrogen as fucked with her sleep schedule (and everything else) royal, as well. WHO WOULD’VE THUNK.

16:57 ‘And I don’t mean to come on here and complain’ except that’s exactly what you’re doing. She says she wants to be honest, because she’s acting not-joyful and not-energized and she’s fucking burning out already on Vlgomas lolz. She chocks it up to

Fuck, had to quickly dig in my ‘artwork’ folder for that shit. Didn’t expect her to force my hand for that glitter-text in this vlog lol

17:50 Saint AL proclaims that her IG DMs are open if y’all feel like shit and wanna whine about mentalz with her.

18:14 And now, she’s going to watch some other YouTuber’s Vlogmas shit because she’s behind. That also gives her the opportunity to eat some leftover Indian food she never showed us before.

18:26 Cat advent calendar. Today is a plastic-wrapped collar-looking thing. She questions if it’s supposed to go around a cat’s neck. She has to fiddle with it (apparently Rarity is looking) and AL goes ‘yeah, I think this is for their neck. But yes, it’s a collar. AL puts it on Rarity, with all the requisite baby-talk and ‘you likely??!!?’ Shit you’d expect from a mentally deficient baboon. AL comments that it’s super loose. Then proceeds to try and lectures us on how to ensure a collar has proper fit (2 fingers underneath it, but typically not sausage fingers). AL promises she’ll take it off if it starts to bother.

19:40 Wasabi has apparently entered, though he’s not on camera. AL asks ‘Can I put it on Wasaboo?’ And I want to throat punch her. Instead I shall drink my drink and lament that my facial features are becoming quite numb.

19:42 AL, just nose and above with poop-bun and headphones in place just proclaims “Well, that was a flop.” Apparently it didn’t fit Wasabi.

19:55 PlayDoh advent calendar. Some sort of ornament die cutter and blue shit. She did the shittiest tree ever with bulbs.

BEHOLD.



Nope, I wasn’t kidding folks.

20:20 ‘Hello Hello’. Spare me that shit, AL. Just do your comment picker bullshit. She whines about how she hopes we don’t mind that today’s just going to be a voice over, and I’m already so over shit shit that I give no fucks. Today’s video has 549 comments.

Comment by Michelle P: I LOVE the sparkly pink top and the shiny dress. Anything shiny is right up my alley. Your makeup looks good today too (Thanks for taking the headphones off - they were driving me mad! Lol)

I wonder how much her comment section is culled before her doing this shit. LOL

AL thanks her, then says ‘I don’t know why the headphones were making you mad’ because she doesn’t think about anyone else. She promises to try and take them off in the future, and then just ends on a sing-song byyyye instead of a kissy bullshit.

TL;DR/W: AL’s getting sick of Vlogmas. Does a short bit of F/JFoNY:MGF,W smearing makeup on her face. Gets F/JFoNY:MGF,W a book about sneakers but shades that she doesn’t want it out for people to see, as she is a massive cunt and can’t let anyone else have a presence in her place. Lost $13 net on her newest scratcher batch, bringing her to a total of $76b lost from original purchase price. Wails on forever about addiction transference and how she ain’t addicted, fucktards. Tries to read. Whines about lipodema. Has takoyaki and is confused as to what it actually is. Whines about how she’s not feeling it today some more. Complains about her sleep schedule or lack thereof. MUH MENTALZ whining. Shitty PlayDoh with ornament die cutter. Cats get a collar (doesn’t fit Wasabi). Comment of the day is ass-kissy so fuck it.

I apologize for typos, but holy shit I am fucking lit at the end of this and I don’t even know if I’m typing coherently anymore.

 

[hall&oates]

Just popping in to drop an autistic comment: Amber is conflating “this book is great for sneaker collectors” with “this is a collector’s item”, presumably to add value to the gift. You can buy this book at Costco, it’s not rare.

 

[PixieDoodle]

The comment of the day conspiracy: She does not record the actual selection of the comment of the day because she waits until a positive or flattering comment pops up.

Just popping in to drop an autistic comment: Amber is conflating “this book is great for sneaker collectors” with “this is a collector’s item”, presumably to add value to the gift. You can buy this book at Costco, it’s not rare.

That’s why she told Faline to keep it in her closet cause you know aesthetics

 

[Mekahineyho]

Hey guys I lost my account info awhile back but I’m back

Anyways not enough people in her comments are mentioning AL just stating that she cums fast. Fucking vomit.

I skip forward whenever she is eating fast food with Jade because she gets this hazy turned on looked in her eyes like it’s for play.I honestly think she get turned on having Jade taste processed chain restaurant food.I’m not sure if that’s sex for them or what

 

[Turd Fergusson]

From @Diet Coke 4 Life

10:17 Oh, she’s whining about how she’ll have to deal with this for the rest of her life. No worries, AL. It won’t be that long. ‘My lipodema’s so bad I’d have to get surgery after surgery (x4).’

Why does she think that surgery is the only option? First, she is too big to have such surgery, and, secondly, the treatment of choice at this time is massages and bandages. I guess she is not seeing this lipedema specialist anymore.

 

[dfranki723]

She's so fucking boring that the only stand outs* to me are some of the comments melting down over how ''offensive'' she is when eating octopus.

Jesus fucking Christ. They will latch onto the most ridiculous things.
People shit over all kinds of food, unless she was sat there ranting about how all octopus eating asians were gross then who fucking cares? The same watchers will blindly believe her tales of woe and offer UnNderSTandiin but if she doesn't like another countries food? What a cunt!

People will moan about the variations of toast countries make. It's food. They should be thankful she dislikes it, the octopus population won't take a hit.

The forced display of true love between fat Fuck and Jade is still as pathetic as ever.

 

[Salvador Dali]

She's so fucking boring that the only that stands out to me are some of the comments melting down over how ''offensive'' she is when eating octopus.

Jesus fucking Christ. They will latch onto the most ridiculous things.
People shit over all kinds of food, unless she was sat there ranting about how all octopus eating asians were gross then who fucking cares? The same watchers will blindly believe her tales of woe and offer UnNderSTandiin but if she doesn't like another countries food? What a cunt!

People will moan about the variations of toast countries make. It's food. They should be thankful she dislikes it, the octopus population won't take a hit.

The forced display of true love between fat Fuck and Jade is still as pathetic as ever.

Agreed. I’m glad the farms exists for this very reason. Many Reddit (rip) and YT commenters love virtue-signalling and knit-picking irrelevant things she does. I think they have this mindset that as long as they are better than Amber then they are doing okay in life. Their biggest competition in life is a white trash 600lb lesbian who has the mind of toddler so they will look for anything to belittle her about.

It’s kinda sad on their part because it seems like they’re too emotionally invested in her life and take any opportunity to use her as a punching bag. They have such obscure expectations of the fatty at times.

I’m just here to laugh at the cow and watch the shit show

 

[caffeinated_pirate]

Vlogmas day 12

Lol she’s as tired of vlogmas as we are. She took over 3 hours to edit her last video, and I’m confused as to why. Maybe she got caught up watching herself, as it’s her favorite topic.

How old is Twinkie now? She lookin gray.

Amber is worried about her decor but no one is gonna see it anyway. She never has guests over and she always films in like that same damn corner anyway.

Time will tell if there’s more scratchers after this set.

TRIGGER WARNING. Lemme go get my caretaker to help me watch this part.

She’s never gotten addicted to cough syrup, guys, so she doesn’t have an addiction problem.

PLEASE STOP WITH THE COMMENTS

Oh lord is she gonna read this on camera???

Okay, so somehow her silently reading the book on camera is actually BETTER than the idea of her reading it out loud to us. Make of that what you will.

She hates to lie in bed. Sure, Jan.

Her fat caused lipedema has no cure. Pity her.

Cat.

That tooth decay.

She naps at 8 pm every night. The pinnacle of health. She wakes up at noon because she likes to be up in the mornings.

She makes lists and planners because she likes to accomplish things. Because pretending you’re gonna get stuff done feels just as good as doing the stuff.

That POM POM collar is cute.

Playdoh. My most hated part. I felt great yesterday cuz I skipped this part. She made some retarded tree or something.

She sure does get a ton of nice comments. No haters on her videos.

She hoped that I enjoyed the vlogmas but I did not.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Octopus is WONDERFUL eating! (So is squid). But then again, it's not fast food in a tube roll and 1000 calories of sodium yuck. And the best sushi chef in the world would be hard put to even find, let alone serve its testicle.

Let her eat fugu!

And while I'm on the subject, I'll share this. No only beautiful, but so yummy! Good luck getting it here in the US; pic is from Mazatlan this summer.

Tentacles ahoy!

 

[dingobaby]

I love how that now she has a lipodema diagnosis she uses it all the time whether she is referring either her lipodema or lymphedema. Because Lymphedema is ooze crusted leggings and broken skin and not dainty but you guise lipodema happens to skinny gorls too, she simply cant lose weight, nothing she can do. And its genetic, double nothing she can do. No wonder its getting so much time in the spotlight. And I don't know if its Amber being sly or not, as she is blending her two conditions, she is verbally blending the words "lymphedema" and "lipodema" to come out somewhere in the middle as "limpodema"

 

[WorldEater]

View attachment 4063608

Looking more thumby than ever.