Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Pippeyy]

Lots of people say ALR gives them motivation to lose weight and/or workout, well looking at her increasingly gross hair makes me want to get up and go wash mine immediately. Having very long hair means I don’t wash it every day (and it’s such a chore that I sometimes put it off) but I get like, secondhand disgust from looking at hers so it makes me want to go do it.

Also I had to laugh at her “parental advisory: explicit content” shirt. That’s like a quintessential white trailer trash item. Big Ham wearing one is too funny.

ETA: Of all her quirky mispronunciations, “rullisticly” instead of “realistically” might be one of the ones that piss me off the most.

I knew you had nasty hair. Handle your business and don't post it on fucking Kiwi Farms, faggot

 

[We're All Going To Hell]

Aww Amber & Tess new bff when?

What part of her body do you guys think is gonna quit on her, and when?

Kidneys. Either start with a uti for obviously reasons or kidney disease. Beginning stages of kidney disease can be turned around. I should say what looks like. Al doesnt not care about drinking enout water. She needs around 250oz a day. Then the sodium and vit D. Just look at her. She's gray. She's not really jaundice. She's gray. Her kidneys are fucked. Her urine is probable dark orange.

 

[AnonymousThrowLala]

Did ALR just upload a video where she points out Jade’s MOTHER is using her Netflix account?

Setting aside that’s against the terms of service and maybe you shouldn’t publicize it on a platform where everyone hates you, I’m so proud that our little grifter is also spreading the wealth to her fam.

 

[Long Duck Dong]

driving Miss Lazy

Bless you for this

Has Hamber actually been "scared" of any food, ever, in her life? She eats the most basic shit but have we ever seen anything she just flat out refused to eat?

 

[FupaCitySheriff]

And this boring fat cunt wants people to believe that 50k+ people will watch this absolute shit in the next 2 days.

Boring from start to finish ans she never leaves the house.
Claims her weight is now 485.8 pounds.
Apparently that means she is 'back to where I was a couple of days ago' and 'I have lost all of that binge water weight'. LAHS. She has gained 0.2 pounds, which is nothing to normal people, but this hog makes it a goal to lose this amount in one day. She even fucking writes it on a blackboard FFS.

Weights by day -
1-486.4
2-485.8 -0.6
3-484.6 -1.2
4-484.8 +0.2
5-485.6 +0.8
6-none=binged
7-485.8 +0.2

As you can see, Fatty lost on the first 2 days and has now gained on the last 4. Give it up Fatty.

 

[FatalTater]

Did ALR just upload a video where she points out Jade’s MOTHER is using her Netflix account?

Setting aside that’s against the terms of service and maybe you shouldn’t publicize it on a platform where everyone hates you, I’m so proud that our little grifter is also spreading the wealth to her fam.

So we now know that Jade's mother is so broke she can't afford $20/month for entertainment.

 

[Eavesdropping Petals]

So your gallbladder hurts, you "solve" it by eating cheese and fucking cup of noodles you are wondering why you are still in pain. You know what helps gallbladder pain....fiber...yep eat some goddamn vegetables. Between her lack of drinking water and her lack of fucking fiber, this idiot probably has shits like a goddamn wombat.

Yes, Amber, we don't like your content so go on and find you another job...what would you say you can offer the world? I haven't seen any job listings for fat retards on LinkedIn.

Honestly, I watch this fuckwad so that the people I deal with in real life don't look as retarded to me....this particular retard resets my lower threshold for the day.

 

[FatalTater]

have we ever seen anything she just flat out refused to eat?

She won't eat raw tomato, I think it's a texture thing. Something I would overlook in someone with a better personality but it's Amber so.

 

[Loathing Fear]

No state income tax in Tennessee.

Amberlynn is champing at the bit to move to a big city. My money is on Nashville, or maybe Memphis.

They make up for that with higher taxes on goods. So with her various expensive, stupid fucking habits, might shape up to be pretty funny. If that even happens/happened.

 

[FupaCitySheriff]

Kidneys. Either start with a uti for obviously reasons or kidney disease. Beginning stages of kidney disease can be turned around. I should say what looks like. Al doesnt not care about drinking enout water. She needs around 250oz a day. Then the sodium and vit D. Just look at her. She's gray. She's not really jaundice. She's gray. Her kidneys are fucked. Her urine is probable dark orange.

She even wanted DRIED mango to eat. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she is purposefully committing suicide very, very slowly. In the other video, she set an alarm to go pee, every hour. Normal people pee as and when. It's all a performance, just like her obsession with 'a serving' of each food.
She's had the D deficiency for years. She was prescribed pills by a doctor, then bought a huge bottle of them... and still looks as gray as a battleship. The Henry has it's own pool and decking areas - all she has to do is sit in the sun. That is sit... and it's still too much effort for her.

Did ALR just upload a video where she points out Jade’s MOTHER is using her Netflix account?

Setting aside that’s against the terms of service and maybe you shouldn’t publicize it on a platform where everyone hates you, I’m so proud that our little grifter is also spreading the wealth to her fam.

Well you didn't think Jade was there for love, did you? Even Fatty knows Jade has to be constantly bribed to hang around.

She won't eat raw tomato, I think it's a texture thing. Something I would overlook in someone with a better personality but it's Amber so.

Fatty has an aversion to eating fruit, veg and pussy.

 

[lol cow supreme]

In the other video, she set an alarm to go pee, every hour. Normal people pee as and when. It's all a performance, just like her obsession with 'a serving' of each food.

She's too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom.. the urge to pee is less pain than getting up and waddling to the bathroom for her.

What part of her body do you guys think is gonna quit on her, and when?

I'm going with structural rather than processing. She's been trying to be more "Mobile" and keep up with Jade...likely because Jade up and leaves her ass behind and our gorl CANNOT be left alone when she wants attention. Wifey wants some time alone..walks into the other room...Now amber has to haul her heave her 500 pound barrell of fat up and hurple to the other room. Wifey wants to go out of town, Amber cant keep up... etc.
So I'm betting our gorl will bust an ankle trying to keep up with Chocolate Thunder setting her bedbound and being he tipping point of this cow to need to be put down.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Did ALR just upload a video where she points out Jade’s MOTHER is using her Netflix account?

Welllll, Amber read off the account name as ""Alex's" woman" which she assumed was Jade's mother, and Jade took advantage of her stupidity to say "Yeahhh, mother. That's my mother."

So Jade is allowing the other fat bag of stink she's poking behind Amber's back to use her Netflix account lol.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

I'm going with structural rather than processing. She's been trying to be more "Mobile" and keep up with Jade...likely because Jade up and leaves her ass behind and our gorl CANNOT be left alone when she wants attention. Wifey wants some time alone..walks into the other room...Now amber has to haul her heave her 500 pound barrell of fat up and hurple to the other room. Wifey wants to go out of town, Amber cant keep up... etc.
So I'm betting our gorl will bust an ankle trying to keep up with Chocolate Thunder setting her bedbound and being he tipping point of this cow to need to be put down.

While it is likely that most of her organs are being under incredible pressure, it will take a long time before any of then will fail. However, at her weight, it would not take much for her to break an ankle or even a hip. For most people, it would be a bloody inconvenience but life goes on. For Amber, it would certainly require surgery and a long stint in a bed.

 

[AnonymousThrowLala]

Welllll, Amber read off the account name as ""Alex's" woman" which she assumed was Jade's mother, and Jade took advantage of her stupidity to say "Yeahhh, mother. That's my mother."

So Jade is allowing the other fat bag of stink she's poking behind Amber's back to use her Netflix account lol.

Great point. I was half listening and processed this as ALR being illiterate (as she is) and not being able to pronounce whatever was on the screen but I just did a rewatch and yeah… it is way more sus than I initially considered. Wild.

 

[Polystyrene Glioblastoma]

All episode 7 amounts to is Amberlynn eye-fucking herself, eating a copious amount of sodium on-camera, Jade mumbling off-camera, Rarity playing in a box, Twinkie's undisciplined apartment complex barking, and frumpy boob shots.

Amber is congratulating herself like a desperate housewife while saying she hasn't read comments or messages since the episodes started. What a perfect way to brush off criticism as beneath her and as if it nullifies any of her poor choices.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

this idiot probably has shits like a goddamn wombat.

Just made my terrible corporate DEI fucking day as I laughed in tears! Oh, and it was mid-year review day which I was rated "meets" in everything. But there are only two men in our department of 20+, so I'm used to sucking a lot of bitchy women ass.

So, probing question- what does a wombat shit like? OMG... this is fucking hilarious! CubeshitterLynn.

https://www.science.org/content/article/how-do-wombats-poop-cubes-scientists-get-bottom-mystery#:~:text=Distinctive%20intestines%20mold%20feces%20into%20sharp%2Dcornered%20poop&text=This%20furry%20Australian%20marsupial%20squeezes,intestine%20creates%20this%20exceptional%20excrement.

 

[King Fructose]

this idiot probably has shits like a goddamn wombat.

Her bathroom wallpaper peels a little bit more every time she unloads one of her massive tubshits

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Did you guise know we all have ESP? How did we all know Fat Ham would ditch the "lose 100 14 pounds" phase otherwise? I mean, sure, some skeptics would point at Hamber's nine-going-on-ten years of YouTube history, but I'm going to maintain that we are just that fucking good.

stir fry recipe, we need to talk, & walmart haul | 500lb gorl | episode 6 - July 23, 2022​

Anyone who had five days in their picks as the number of days Hamber would last without plowing through a small hill of junk, congratulations to you! No prizes, just the solid admiration of your fellow assholes here for giving Fat Ham more than 24 hours.

Seriously, who amongst us did not see this would happen as soon as they started throwing all those snacks into the cart? She knew she was going to eat all the things. hat's why she bought them. Let's get through another shitty video of her whining bout her nonexistent BED and how she's just a fucking miracle of science because her "body doesn't let" her lose weight. Hell, she's probably so immune to losing weight that even 200 calories a day wouldn't do it.

Take. A. Fucking. Shower. Wash. Your. Goddamned. Hair. You. Utter. Pig.

Hamber isn't "doing good". Why, whatever could be wrong in your perfect little life, with your perfect "gf", Perfect GrammarLynn?

Going on ten years of videos of her talkeen about her nonexistent binge eateen disorder - ten years of her shoving food gown that hole in her face - ten years of wanton abandon, showing us all the junk she "binged" on in a given day. Ten years! Finally. Finally! She gives us.....

A trigger warning. About discussing eating disorders. Are you fucking kidding me? Go fuck yourself, Hamber. I can hear the excuse right now: "I was doeen fine, not that anyone asked, and then I saw a video where someone was eateen ice cream, and that triggere me so I ate six Halo Tops." Let's see how close I am. It's going to be junk food. With Hamber, it's always junk food.

Someone showed a bag of chips, and "that was all it took. A bag of chips. And I felt insanely triggered by that." She couldn't stop thinking about food? So, pretty much any regular day, then. Claims she felt "something bad was gonna happen" if she didn't eat and I am not buying this shit. At. All. Just fucking admit you wanted to eat shittier food than the regular shit food you've been eating, Hamber. It's why you bought all those snacks. You want to eat them, so you brought them home. If you were serious at all about dieting, or should I say, "not bingeen", then you wouldn't have shit like that in the house. Period.

She "doesn't like to talk about this". ALL YOU FUCKING DO IS TALK ABOUT IT. "Most people don't get it and when you don't understand something, you judge it." What I understand, Fatty, is that you're a liar and do not have BED, and yes, I am definitely judging the shit out of you. You are the product of the thinking that everyone can be redeemed, that everyone gets a trophy, that all the bullshit people use to avoid responsibility or accountability should be indulged. If you had grown up in a food desert, or with food scarcity, your focus on food would at least be understandable. But you were not, clearly. You were coddled while a child, and then coddled by a series of "girlfriends" and/or their families as an adult, instead of being forced to take responsibility for yourself. You're a glutton. You like to eat, and you want to eat what you want, when you want, in whatever quantity you want, without there being any consequences. Fuck that, and fuck you.

Blah blah, people hate me and also other fatties because we're fat. Nope, try again. "Let me tell you right now, I *hate* food." LiarLynn, fuck off. You love food. We've SEEN YOU EAT. Goddamn, dude. "I literally cannot control it." Yes. You can. People do it every fucking day. You're just lazy and weak and you know if you spew it out on a video, there will inevitably be some fuckwit who says, "Aw, Hambie, it's not your fault. You've been doing so good." giving you those asspats you're looking for so the cycle can begin anew.

"There's like this possession that comes over you, for lack of a better word, where you literally cannot control it." And yet people do. All the time. Actual people with actual BED, anorexia, bulimia: every goddamned day. But I guess it's just like you and losing weight that doesn't happen. You're a super duper special fucking case and above the laws of nature. Can't lose weight in an alleged calorie deficit, can't control an emotion.

"I was walking into the kitchen and telling myself not to. I was grabbing food and telling myself 'I don't want this"," Hamber says, as if that's believable. It isn't just everyone else you lie to, Fat Ham. I think this is the one of the times I have been most angry with this bitch. Right here is where I had to take a break, before I punched her through my monitor.

Aaaand we're back, in the daylight, after taking a break from watching this bullshit fest after a day that had not gone well at all. Let's se i we can get through it without stopping every five seconds. Otherwise, this will be breaking a record for my longest post.

"While I was bingeen, I was telling myself stop." I imagine that went a little like this.

Blah blah blah blah blah. Cryeeen while bingeeen. Here she introduces that quaver into her voice, like she's about to start cryeeen again, to garner sympathy points. Poor Fat Ham, unable to control herself from eating all the snacks she deliberately bought. Who knew it would be a problem? Except anyone who heard her say Hot Cheetos made her "binge" so she couldn't have them in the house, only for them to reappear and presto! Not be an issue.

So in the middle of her uncontrollable bingeeen, she saved all the trash. LOL. In control enough to save all that shit, but her body was acting independently of her mind. Sure, JanberLynn. What did Hamber eat for her midnight snacking? Sodium noodles, salt rice (or pasta, can't make it out), sodium sugar peanuts, sodium sugar plantain chips, she interrupts herself here, looking for the peanut can, because she thinks she "can't do it justice" i she doesn't have it, and just fucking move on, this video is 30 minutes long, sodium sugar fruit, and that's it? THAT is the "beingeen" you claim you did? Even your fucking binges are lazy, goddamn. Oh, plus some snackie sodium cheese. Blah blah blah. Every side of every album in the amberverse is the same song.

Post-"bingeen", claims she felt "guilt, shame, worthless", whatever. We've heard all this bullshit before. Nice handy excuse to evade responsibility and accountability. Went to bed, woke up sick: heartburn, indigestion, gallstone attack, puked. No fucking shit. Eating a ton of fatty, sugary junk food has a deleterious effect on the gastrointestinal system. Who would ever think that would be an outcome?

Keep fishing for those sympathy asspats, Hamber! Says she needs to talk to her imaginary shrink about how she feels, mentally and physically. "I know I have to keep moving forward, but I'm so tired of it! I'm so tired of it!" Give me a fucking break. Stop your goddamned whining about your ultra-privileged life and the weightloss that you don't care to do. You've done this same thing over and over for ten fucking years. get some new fucking material already.

Hamber's not gonna weigh herself. Well, of course she isn't, this is exactly what she does all the time. She's a quitter. Whines, again, that "my boy won't let me lose weight". Listen up, you cunt: it isn't your BODY that isn't letting you lose weight.

I am going to lose my mind on this bitch. "It isn't simple science any more, It's just not." YES IT FUCKING IS. You are not special. You are not unique. You are not a medical mystery. You are not fucking immune to the laws of biology, physics, and thermodynamics, you huge, useless, whiny, lying cunt.

Claims that we know what she's been eating, and she should be dropping weight at her size. That's because you're lying and/or not measuring proportions or both. It's probably both. Finally admits that she eats shit food. Whines that she's "afraid" and here comes the wavering voice, aw, poor widdle Hamber, of taking out the foods she likes out of fear of bingeen. Guess what, bitch: that's what is necessary if you want to lose weight. You do not. I have zero sympathy for your shelf ass, Fatty. Says, "I'm a mess and I just don't know what to do with it." then rattles off all the excuses about her age, getting her uterus yeeted, blah blah blah, excuse after excuse. Well, you could start by doing things properly. But that's something that requires work, and we know how you are about that.

We all know that all this shit is geared toward getting a spot on a reality show so you can get freebie WLS. Performative whining. You'd fail there just as you fail here. You don't want to change, so you never will.

Whines that people just say not to binge, but it isn't that easy. Really? During the Livestream Era, you told us about that super-supportive "gf" of yours helping you not binge by basically saying that. But whatever, BED is just another munchie thing for you, along with your "muh mentalz".

Says she will stop using YT as her therapist and talk to her imaginary shrink instead. Whatever. Amazingly, your "therapist" tells you to do things that you want to do. Incredible! The two of you are so in tune with one another!

"Today was not my day," she says, as she claims she was waiting for 15 whole minutes as her imaginary shrink's office, when suddenly, like a bolt out of the blue, like a call at 3 AM, something tells her to check her email. What might it say? That her imaginary shrink is sick. Oh, boo hoo. "This was the day I needed" to talk to her. Says it took her an hour to put on her makeup, and WTF? Why the fuck would it take you an hour to put on that shitty makeup?

The imaginary shrink doesn't want her to count calories, and neither does the dietician, what a fucking shock that she is finally stopping it, just like they fucking said MONTHS AGO. But nope, gotta waste a shitload of time. Oh, goodie, she's going to go intuitive eating. I'm sure THAT will work out just as well this time as it has every other fucking time you've done IE, Fat Ham.

First meal: the "gf" making her a turkey burger to go on a Hawaiian bagel. With fried cheese on it. I'm sure that will be tremendous for your gallstones and your pancreas. but you obviously know nutrition better than any of us, so just carry the fuck on.

A bunch of bullshit, including pointing at a chalkboard calendar they bought, and the week of July 4 says vacation. We know Fat ham didn't go anywhere. Maybe that's why she was "so sad" and lonely in her stupid 10 days of nontent vids. Did the "gf" take off for NY alone? Aw, poor widdle Hamber.

Hamber puts the "gf" to work, for Big Ham's "kung pao molment" chopping up chicken and an onion, because chopping meat gives her the creeps an she doesn't want her had to smell like onion. If only there were something one could wear on their hands to avoid getting them dirty or having them smell by touching onions or garlic or other strong-smelling food. Think of it, you wouldn't have to have a slave "gf" to do that, if such a thing existed. Chop up your own shit, you lazy behemoth.

Jabs at the chicken that's browning in the pan, then throws the veggies in, but naturally not in a logical order, based on the time it would take to cook them all to the same degree of doneness. . Pours it all out on a plate, throws sriacha on it, then scallions, onions she apparently has no issue handling, then sesame seeds. She cheerfully tells us she thinks peanuts would also be good on the pile of food. Too bad you hoovered them all last night, Hamber. However, I will say that looked miles and miles better than the shit she' usually shoveling in, but she still uses far too much salt.

Horrid haul. First, though, she has to continue to bitch about the pain in her abdomen. Thinks it's gallstone, then thinks maybe it's gas. Then go to a fucking doctor, you moron. Or, have the supportive "gf" take you to the fucking ER.

Parental advisory sleeveless shirt. Says people ask her why she wears a cardigan all the time. She says "Read the comments below. All the fat-shaming." It isn't fat-shaming if it's true, Fatty. Shirt looks stupid.

Oh, and BTW, Fatty. That pain you had high on the right abdomen, radiating to the back? Probably pancreatitis. Congrats, you've fucked up yet another internal organ.

WalMart, which wound up being too low laws for the newly bougie Hamber when she moved to Lexington. Waddles around, touching everything, narrating in a VO. Boring,

STOP USING "OBSESSED" TO MEAN EXCITED OR INTERESTED. JFC, you claim to be a fucking writer. Use some other goddamned words.

Got a bunch of shit from WalMart, spending 30 bucks for more shit she doesn't need. more whining about gallstones. GO TO A FUCKING DOCTOR.

They take Twinkie out for a walk, with the "gf" of course holding the leash. Once inside, the "gf" is making cucumber/mozz salad. Hamber tells us they saw a couple of people making out in their car. "So, that was fun." What?

She pulls off one of those fucking fake eyelashes that looks like a bug. Demands "baybeeee" tell her which eye looks better, and the "gf " gives the obvious answer.

Goes to take off her makeup, blah blah, gallstones. GO TO THE FUCKING ER. JFC,

Between the pain and the not counting calories, she's thinking about food drastically less. Then shows us the salad, and they're playing mario kart. Wants to show us the mug the "gf" picked out at WalMart. Who gives a shit.

"I look.....crazy." Oh, look who's using ableist language. Again, SJWLynn. No, you look like shit, and, in all seriousness, have looked like shit once the "gf" came on the scene. She's "finishing up" her tea. It has honey and "stivia" in it. That's STEE-via, you twit. EnvironmentaLynn back drinking water out of plastic bottles instead of using the Codest or any reusable cup or bottle. Great job. Claims she went to a doc about her gallstones and he told her that 300 pounds (back then) was too fucking fat to have the surgery, and I call bullshit on that.

Hopes we enjoyed the video - we DID NOT - and goodbye.

TL;DW/R: Hamber whines for ten fucking minutes about her imaginary BED and the "binge" she had in the wee hours after the last video, and how she was just completely unable to control her body from hoovering all the snacks she just happened to have on hand because they intentionally bought at Meijer. Who could have guessed that she'd go rampaging through all those sat and sugar? NO ONE, that's who. Then she felt sick, had heartburn, indigestion, nausea, a gallstone attack. Wow, nobody could have foreseen that, either! I'd toss an acute pancreatitis attack to that as well, but hey, Hamber later thinks it might just be gas, and DoctorLynn Medicine Woman knows better than real doctors, like the ones who hang out in offices and ERs. Eats a turkey burger with fried cheese on a sweet bagel. Perfect for that gastro distress! Eats a passable kung pao stir fry, with the exception of the sodium level. Eats a cucumber/mozzarella salad with a bunch of other crap in it. Couldn't see her imaginary because of their illness, and it just so happens Hamber isn't feeling well either. Shocking coincidence! No handsy bullshit from the "gf", lucky Fat Ham. Horrid try on of a very 80s-esque "parental advisory" shirt; whines about the "fat shaming" in her comments and that's why she wears a cardigan all the time. You're FAT, lardass. That isn't "fat-shaming", it's truth. Closes out with more whining about her gasto issues she has, thanks to her own actions of eating a bunch of shit she didn't need. Not because she has BED - because she doesn't. Because she really wanted that crap, so she bought it, and then she ate it. She's no longer going to weigh in, and she's no longer going to count calories, so at least that charade is over for now. She's going back to intuitive eating even though her intuition sucks. The End.

 

[DontEatThat]

Honestly im waiting for Amber to be terminally ill and here to be flabbergasted about how it all came to this and were all here just going....."yup" as wifey kong puffs up her chest to say that her bae(check) will be ok.

 

[mekalekahi]

Why did she ask Jades permission to tell the audience she is afraid of ghosts like what will we do with that info?

I like how they didn’t end up watching a movie because they got “sidetracked” aka Amber was thinking about all the snacks in the closet while she was pretending to have a convo with Jade and thought making a snack would be more entertaining then a film.