Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 555 15.7%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,635 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,539
She should have used her money to buy that house in Montecello they were all living in. I mean, wasn't the excuse she gave for them all leaving in 2020 was that the landlord wanted to sell it? It probably would have been cheap at the time, and she could have charged the boys rent. Alas, having 24/7 DoorDash and UberEats was more important to her.

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Okay, because I'm slightly insane I couldn't let that confusing WW ramble from yesterday's vlog go. Yeah yeah, I know she's not really *doing* WW, just PAYING for WW for the story arc, but still. Anyway, I got this information from weightwatchers.com and watcherspoint.com. Watcher's Point is a site where they reverse engineer the calculations and show their work (while also providing various calculators). The idea is that people can continue to follow their WW plan on their own without having to keep paying WW's monthly fees forever. It's also for the people who find that WW has abandoned the plan that worked for them (example, PointsPlus), so they can continue with it instead of having to relearn all new point values and calculations for the same foods they've been eating for years).

[NOTE: They are a little behind, as they still show 42 as the weekly point value instead of whatever custom number WW now generates, but this is better than paying just to use the WW app.]

The 78 points were her daily points, and the 28 were her weekly points. Up to 4 unused daily points can be added to the weekly pool, and they are lost going into the next week. There really is no point in doing a points to calories conversion, as there is no consistency due to all of the multipliers added to the food depending on the various macros. The points to calories really only apply to 'junk food'.

(Big surprise), Amber is definitely... manipulating the numbers somehow. I couldn't get the calculator to go up to 78 points - even putting her down as a 20 foot tall, 800 lb male who did heavy exercise. Everything capped out at 71 on Watcher's Point. She must be using her HIGHEST EVER WEIGHT, AND putting the MAXIMUM EXERCISE LEVEL they have on the WW app to get 78 points. I also added a slighty heavy (but 'average') 5'3" woman's point value for comparison.
I tried to get 78 points before too and couldn't no matter what I put in. I think she adds 5 or 10 points to whatever she gets because she doesn't want to starve or be malnourished doing this so-called diet. She is always afraid of starving with one of these stupid diets.

Small tmi, I did ww years ago after having one of my kids, I only got 19 points, plus three extra because I was breastfeeding. I also didn't get any "free" foods. I know the plans have changed since then, but it's crazy to me how many points she gets or gives herself. No wonder she keeps returning to it, so she can eat whatever she wants.

So I just looked up how many ww points is a snickers bar and a "fun-size" not fat-size is 4 points, and a Banana is 0 points. So much for her "why would I eat a banana if a snickers bar is the same amount of points."
 
So I just looked up how many ww points is a snickers bar and a "fun-size" not fat-size is 4 points, and a Banana is 0 points. So much for her "why would I eat a banana if a snickers bar is the same amount of points."
Yet there are less calories in a fun-size snickers than in a banana....and that's why WWs is a load of bullshit.

Plans changed over the years. The last time Amber did WW they had three different plans, blue, green and purple...mind you they've changed again since her last foray...While one of those plans had nearly all fruit/vegetables as zero points, the other plans didn't. While chicken breast was zero points, chicken tenderloins had points! I mean really...just throw your hands in the fucking air it's that ridiculous! Amber selected a plan that didn't because it gave her more room for eating carbs over fruits and vegetables without the penalty, as there were very few zero point options. In other plans the points value of carbs dropped while the points value of otherwise zero points foods actually rose. To be fair to her she really doesn't like the zero point foods anyway, so I gather it would be a better plan choice for her. WW is just so convoluted and always changing, which I'm sure is their corporate mission to force folk to stay paying the monthly fee so they can use their points calculator and recipes. Remember that points are different for the same foods on the different plans. What a fucking nightmare to try to follow. I've never been a fan of them, even since the days my mum used it pre-computers where they used calorie counting books and blank meal plans filled out by ticking of food groups from portion categories for each day/week similar to the plan Chantal got from her bariatric clinic. Once again though its a plan based off the old food pyramid where even healthy fats are demonised in favour of carbohydrates. No wonder Amber keeps going back to it. I'm only going by what people I know who've used WWs tell me....so I'm happy to be corrected if wrong. I also know zero about the newest iteration which Amber is supposedly now signed up for.
 
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The video was absolutely dreadful, just a mess, and her new habit of going "hehe Childhood trauma" is beyond fucking obnoxious. Guess what Amber! An actual traumatized person would never admit they are traumatized because hey guess what, they are actually fucking traumatized.

I think she thinks if she moves into this angle of making people MATI it gets her more views because all this shit is all about views. It is painful to see how hard she is trying to meme at the moment and recapture 2018 Amber. One tell she always does though when super desperate is cow tip or mention reactors and the Peetz thing was exceptional.

She is trying to present as this rich influencer woman but we here know the truth, this is her last Christmas of good living. She spent easily $400,000 in 4 years (her combined income when she was big) She spent all of that in such a short time and has nothing to show. She could have had a house built for that and lived frugally.

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Another issue looming is January earnings from Youtube so due to advertisers backing out after Christmas Youtube earnings literally become 2/3rds of what they are. This is her Feb payment too which she needs to build up for paying her tax in April. Her tax calculated at $3000 a month is about $18,360 at 15.3%.

As you can see $18k is a lot of money and for Amber's spending, she said a year ago she puts that percentage away into savings already but most of us here know this is bullshit. This has the potential for some great milk, Amber has no credit history meaning they can, in theory, deny her a repayment schedule. The Federal lately too has been growing annoyed with independent contractors abusing revenue streams. So this could actually get interesting.
Where are you getting the 400 grand estimate?! This cunt has been making 100 grand a year?
 
I did WW years ago. Back then the point system penalized me for eating processed foods. A small Snickers bar had more points than a banana because it had no fiber or other nutrients. (Of course this doesn’t explain WW snacks, which got pushed at the godawful meetings—almost as if WW had two heads, one yelling “eat whole, unprocessed food” while the other head was yelling “eat our junk food.”

Come to think of it, the internal contradictions would be perfect for Amber.

Anyway, I learned two valuable lessons.

1. I‘d been hoovering up a shitload of food. Weight watchers portion sizes are TINY.

2. A glass of wine was 4 points out of my daily 23.

Amber is lucky she doesn’t drink.

But the minuscule portion sizes would get her even if she inflated her point count to an insane extent. After a couple of days of counting points, WW would make her binge. Of course. Because apparently everything does.
 
yet...and of course I miss the Farmers...talking of which @Slappy McGherkin hope you're doing well 💗
Love ❤️ you too! Thanks! Just flew back from Baltimore to home today (PHX). Surgery #2 tomorrow morning, they're stripping veins. TMI and yeah, gross. But dealing with it head on.

Unlike the deathfat in this thread that can only make excuses. VLOG deez nutz. Who's the idiot that's always like "Well, child...." OH, Patrick Tomilison, I think?

Love to see him and Hamber in a podcast because "child" would be the only time dat goofy bastard would be spot on calling someone a "child."

Jenga dis, you fat fuck.
 
This is Vlogmas Day 6, or December 5th in the Amberverse. Lots of filler. All three pets are visible, plus several more that she doesn't own! Amber is really starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel for content, (as seen by her revisiting the Myers-Briggs Personality Test), and we're only on day 6!


-- VLOGMAS 2022 --

Location: Walking into the living room.
It's so muggy today. Amber hopes for rain. When Jade was using the stupid TikTok hula hoop, she didn't use all of the links. And Amber didn't either, you fatphobic shitlords who were accusing her of having a 58" braline! Which one of you assholes are responsible?! It wasn't me - oh wait, yeah it was me. Haha! Yeah, it was totally more like 52", not 58"! She thinks the extra 4 links would have made a difference and made it fit her better (the Amberverse hits X in unison).

Location: Standing by the blackboard.
Amber is going to call the weight loss surgeon's office - but not on speakerphone, because y'all called her out when the receptionist from the psychiatrist's office phoned and Amber passed it off as content. In Kentucky you're ALLOWED to do that, haydur! She calls and gets redirected to voicemail, which tells her to go to the website. Amber already went to the website, but she thought she'd get special treatment if she bothered them over the phone.

Location: Sitting on the couch.
UPDATE: She went to the website and requested an online seminar. Next step is watching the seminar. Thanks, Captain Obvious. Ooh, she has to take a quiz afterwards. Maybe Wipey will take the test for her? Wipey does everything else, why not do her homework, too?

PRESENT TIME! Oh boy. Jade's present is a box of Smart LED Strip Lights. Amber annoyingly babbles as Jade tries to set it up.

A WILD WASABI APPEARS!! Poor thing was probably sneaking out for food or water and was spotted by Amber. I haven't dealt with long-haired cats before, but to me he looks... dirty. It's like he's got clumpy fur and needs a really good slicker brushing or something.

Location: Sitting at her desk.
FOOD TIME! You know the saying: a poke bowl a day keeps the Binge Monster(TM) away! Amber's teeth hurt because she was grinding them in her sleep - and it's on her 'chewing side', too! OH.MY.GAH it hurt so much she had to STOP EATING! [Don't laugh! This is serious; I'm worried for her] But she's trying to eat again because she's a total champ. Weight loss surgeon sent her an email telling her to watch the seminar. She'll watch - later. She needs to have all of her focus on eating and watching Firefly Lane instead as that's far more important than saving her life. Tell us the WLS is a bullshit story arc without telling us it's a bullshit story arc, Amber.

Location: Standing in the kitchen.
Grocery Haul!! Sugary salad kit, lettuce mix bag, 3 ramen packets, garden veggie chips (like pringles), plant based meatballs, (plant based?) buffalo wings, salad dressing, avocado mayonaise, frozen dinner, frozen dinner, hot pockets, frozen dinner, frozen dinner, frozen dinner, and frozen dinner

Location: Sitting at her desk.
Play-Doh Advent Calendar! Small white tub and another snowman stamp. Amber complains that she doesn't have a lot of colours to work with. Pro-Tip: you can mix play-doh together to form NEW colours.

Cat Advent Calendar! Another ball with a bell in it. Rarity is intrigued... but not enough to actually get up. Amber puts it on the cat tree, and Rarity keeps throwing it on the floor so Amber has to constantly bend over and pick it up. Rarity stepping in with the shade where Erik left off.

Location: Standing in the bathroom.
Outfit of the day! The lunacy 'moon phase' shirt, faux leather shearling jacket, hideous green purse she bought from Walmart the other day, tacky hoop earrings, and I guess some sort of leggings? (I can't see from the camera angle) GAH!! Not leggings!! Some sort of weird gray and black print pants - they look like pyjama pants. Super stretchy. Amber says she's actually going to go in public dressed like this. *Pick pick pick* as she pulls it out of her folds.

Location: Hurpling through a shop.
Amber is walking Twinkie on a leash, and Chonky-Twonk is wearing some sort of ugly Christmas Sweater - and totally makes the bold look work. The harness is upside down again, and Twinkie is trying not to trip on it. Again, I'm not a 'dog person', but wouldn't you adjust the size of the harness and put it OVER the sweater so the leash would be at the top and not trip the dog? They're at Petsmart. I guess Twinkie needs more treats in order to not outshine her master in weight loss.

Amber's in the kitten section. A black cat is rolling around, trying to impress Amber. It's FBI FRANK!! Frankie, buddy, IT'S A TRAP!! Puke on yourself and make her walk away in disgust! Odds are the next random person to approach your cage will be a better master than Jabba over here. There's a better life waiting for you elsewhere, Frank! Also, little kittens in all of their little kitteny goodness. Amber's dream is to open a place to TAKE CARE OF ANIMALS. Start with your own, gorl! This segment is CUTE, but way too long. Amber talks about once having 2 guinea pigs, but they 'went missing' (NO JOKES ABOUT HER EATING THEM!). Twinkie is just DONE with this field trip and Jade is carrying her around the store. At least someone cares about Twinkie's worn out joints.

Location: Alone in the dark... (whereabouts unkwnown)
We are staring at Amber's iPhone while she takes a Free Personality test. WAIT, this is that Myers-Briggs thing she already did in 2020. She lied and got the Architect. I remember because I called total bullshit on her being an INTJ. She is so obviously a ESTP/ESFP it's not even funny. Okay, so she's going to jump cut and lie on this and tell us the results. INFP - the Mediator. 78% introverted, as well as intuitive and observant, kind. Definitely an empath folks. Yeah... NO.

Go to YouTube and search for 'Frank James ESFP' and 'Frank James ESTP'. You'll see the dude doing funny skits that look like recreations of shit you've seen from Amber's vlogs.

Location: Sitting at her desk.
Back home (duh). Still blathering about the 16 personalities thing and justifying her INFP. This is more bullshit than I can handle. Pity ploys about not being able to have a child. TELL IT TO YOUR SHRINK, NOT YOUTUBE! [SKIP].

YouTube Random Comment Picker.
beef stick says "you could try hydroxyzine to sleep better (I'm on lamical as well)"
Amber gets stuck for 2 minutes on the word 'hydroxyzine', thanks them, and says she'll look into it.

Byee!!... Oh shit, I need to do my weigh in!

SCALE SCREEN: 502.4 lbs. I hope her gallbladder is okay from losing more than 1 pound this week! Amber doesn't want weight loss talk to be her entire channel.

-- VLOGMAS 2022 --

TL;DR: Amber is going to watch a web seminar about WLS. Poke Bowl to combat binging! Grocery haul of stuff that barely qualifies as food. Advent Calendars. Pestering animals at PetSmart. ESTP lying on a test to pretend she's a INFP. 502.4lbs.
 
Well I guess this is just gonna be some kind of disgusting baby talk kids toys christmas. I wonder if this is just some weird ass thing with her and Jade. Speaking of, I don't think Jade is trans even with the man hands and voice. If she was, you can bet every cent you have that Amber would have found a way to say something. She'd love to be able to use that as oppression/relevance points. There is no way she wouldn't say anything, whether Jade wanted her to or not. This is the same bitch that filmed girlfriends on the toilet, afterall.

these patients don't have a moderation button
It would be like telling someone with anorexia to just eat what they're comfortable with. How is that any different than telling a fat fuck to do what they haven't done a day in their life? I mean, she quit outpatient and every diet ever. How is that the foundation for "yup, just eat whatever you want in moderation"?

This really is Trollmass 2022. Literally everything she's doing and saying is just to get a negative reaction out of people. The cackles, oh god the cackles.
I absolutely think this is the whole point. The 20 gifts, the baby talk and disembodied Jade, the WW/WLS talk, kid's toys etc. is all to get the attention she desperately wants but isn't getting anymore. Any attention is good to her.

Now granted I don't understand nutrition like Amber does, nor do I understand psychology like the made up imaginary shrinks she claims to go to, but unless she's going to fucking Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder for an assessment, surely any spastic could tell you that Amber *cannot* do eating in moderation, otherwise she wouldn't be 500 el bees... so I find it a bit difficult to believe that a) anyone is actually telling her that, and b) she keeps taking the same advice every fucking time despite never being able to stick to it. Not that ALR would ever lah, of course.
I think she actually is but it's one that she found who would tell her what she wants to hear. We already know she doctor shops, her shopping for a therapist who won't make her actually address food issues isn't that shocking.

You know those pictures that simulate what it's like to have a stroke? This needs to be added to those because I swear I stared at this for a good minute trying to decipher what the fuck this was.

There are no authentic interactions between them
It definitely seems to be an act. There have been moments where Jade seems annoyed as fuck with her and she just cackles like it's some cute shit rather than obnoxious.

All this WW points shit just seems way more complicated than watching what you damn eat.
It's so bizarre. She can't accurately count calories, but she keeps going back to a program that makes zero sense. It's like those murderers who don't want to work so they have a whole ruse to fool people that's more work than just getting a fucking job. It's just asinine.

HOT POCKETS ARE NOT ON THE DIET

ANY DIET
They are when you have 78 points
 
OMG she actually fucking googled WLS. Will wonders never cease???!

I mean, sure, she could have done it any time the past 9 years. Certainly since she moved to Lexington. But I’ll take it.

But did you notice that you have to sit through the online seminar and then take a quiz to prove that you understood and have retained the information? Could it be that all Deathfats are retarded toddlers, and it’s not just Amber?

On the other hand Jade can fuck right off with that Chicago teeshirt. How dare she plaster the name of one of my favorite cities across her bongos.
 
Location: Hurpling through a shop.
Amber is walking Twinkie on a leash, and Chonky-Twonk is wearing some sort of ugly Christmas Sweater - and totally makes the bold look work. The harness is upside down again, and Twinkie is trying not to trip on it. Again, I'm not a 'dog person', but wouldn't you adjust the size of the harness and put it OVER the sweater so the leash would be at the top and not trip the dog? They're at Petsmart. I guess Twinkie needs more treats in order to not outshine her master in weight loss.

I don’t think Twinkie is wearing a harness? But Amber is fucking stupid. They make those sweaters with slits in the back so you can use a leash and collar. You can see the hole here (between the shoulder blades):
3E24BA94-3BF8-4146-A19D-8C0D89EF6951.jpeg
The sweater is also too big for that dog, but it’s not like Amber cares. Like you said, at least Jade took that crap off and carried the poor dog.
 
It's so bizarre. She can't accurately count calories, but she keeps going back to a program that makes zero sense. It's like those murderers who don't want to work so they have a whole ruse to fool people that's more work than just getting a fucking job. It's just asinine.
Amber has said in the past that being on a diet is as important as succeeding in losing weight. For her, the fact that she failed in losing weight is irrelevant, she succeeds in being on a diet. She also get a high in purchasing all the snacks from WW or JC or Optavia. I believe that Slimming World is not in the U.S., otherwise this system would be on the rotation too.
 
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