Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Ayygs and Layygs]

That B necklace is ugly and her neck tried tried to pull it into the folds to make it disappear. Can't wait for the green neck molment.
Why buy caffeine free diet pepsi? Is she really that against drinking water that she'd rather drink colored cancer water?
Of course her new book choice is another YA whine fest about some outcast's journey. 32 going on 12.
She just "forgot" she had lipstick all over her moon face. She really thinks people care about her try hard we have sex bullshit
She's been doing this for 10 years and still can't do basic edits. It's really special.

Amber has also built a universe, a reality, where she was the best dancer in the school, winning countless prizes. She was also a soccer player, a writer and an artist. She was the most popular kid in school. I do not know many women in their 30s who keep harping on how great they were in high school. Most of them are doing it because they have a wretched present life.

Along the same lines of 30 year old guys who always talk about high school football. What's wild to me is that her stories are obviously bullshit, but she's still acting like the ones who peaked in high school.

Spoiler: I made you a present...

View attachment 4082478
View attachment 4082493

Who wore it better?

This is the best gift I've ever gotten, thank you! And the answer is forever Chris Farley

I suspect the look she was going for was a bolero, rather than a full cardigan

Sounds about right. Like you said, though, if the item isn't cut that way, it just looks dumb rather than whatever she was going for.

These feeder thumbnails are so fucking gross. I don't know what's worse, the amount of food she's shoveling into her gigantic maw or the way she eye fucks the camera while doing it.

She always stares straight into her camera while she shovels food into her gullet and it's just weird. I know she denies the feeder stuff but there is no other reason for that, no matter how up her own ass she is.

Why does she still bother with the ''I'm dealing with health issues but I don't want to talk about'' bollocks

Any attention is good attention. If people give her shelf pats, awesome. If people tell her to fuck off, she gets to point to it and play victim.

She went from 450 pounds at the end of the Ozempic era to now 520ish pounds

We've talked ad nauseum about how it's all performative for her, and that proves it. She doesn't care about losing weight, it's saying she's on whatever diet that makes her feel happy. In reality, she wants to eat garbage and if she gains weight, so be it. I wonder if Jade will stay around when she needs her ass wiped and sponge bath in bed. Guess we'll find out.

@Diet Coke 4 Life Congratulations on your first climb and best of luck on the next one!

 

[Chilli Soup]

We've talked ad nauseum about how it's all performative for her, and that proves it. She doesn't care about losing weight, it's saying she's on whatever diet that makes her feel happy. In reality, she wants to eat garbage and if she gains weight, so be it. I wonder if Jade will stay around when she needs her ass wiped and sponge bath in bed. Guess we'll find out.

Yeah, this era really confirmed that it's a ruse for me. In the past I thought 'Huh, maybe she really is just an idiot'. Nope, she's downright malicious. She will never change because what you're seeing isn't even her, it's a disgusting projection of a mashed up version of whatever she thinks is going to bring her attention at that present moment in time.

To be fair, if she had the intelligence to fake something actually interesting or totally unhinged, she could probably be making a decent living. She could be pretending to be anything for clicks, and she'd be able to change whatever persona she wanted. Her narcissism gives her a lot of power in that regard, she could have manipulated just about anything if she had started early enough and performed well enough.

But her vapid mind chose fake weight loss for 10 years? What a waste. It's a testament to her stupidity.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

@Diet Coke 4 Life:
23:10 People were expecting a Monday weigh-in. Fuck you all!!! She’s no longer doing Weight Watchers, so her reason to do weekly weigh-ins is now gone. She’s going back to how she lost weight in the first place (cancer?). Says in summer of 2021 she was almost at her highest weight at 569. Says she lost 106 lbs from that point, and she did that by eating in moderation. Because she’s the Queen of Moderation, y’all.

I say again. Cancer?...

Uncommon opinion, but I don't think she lost weight because of cancer. Here's my evidence:

Amber confirmed that her cancer was stage 1B (grade 2). That's a REALLY early stage for the body to be struggling so much that rapid weight loss is occuring.

Amber had gotten to her largest ever, after passing her 572.4lbs weight and refusing to get on a scale so she wouldn't have to admit 600+ lbs. She was an absolute UNIT late fall/early winter 2019. Then Becky became zombified. They got in that near miss when Becky rolled through the stop sign and nearly collided with that other car at the intersection. After that, Becky stopped driving. Amber started eating those 'Freshly' premade meals. She did a series of 'Mook-Bongs' where she blended these premade meals with other random grocery items: celery sticks, oranges, apples, canned green bean, tuna, etc. There was no sign of any fast food, as Amber couldn't get it herself, Becky couldn't drive, and delivery services weren't available in that area in 2019. Amber was likely subsisting off of Freshly, as well as whatever actual food (chicken, fruits, vegetables, etc) she had hoarded in her fridge and large freezer chest from her performative diet grocery hauls.

She was also complaining of feeling unwell at this time from round after round of antibiotics she was taking for her UTI ("Annie Doran" is claiming that she was on even harsher antibiotics for a bad MRSA infection, but who knows if that's true or not).

Then Becky starts getting better and is more functional again. Suddenly, Amber complains of her weight loss slowing, then stagnating. She had claimed that she either made it to the 470s or to the cusp of the 470s. With Becky being more alert and driving again, the Freshly meals were abandoned, with Amber giving the excuse that it was time for her to learn to chose her own meals.

There was little talk about her weight after that, other than her saying weightloss had stalled, and she switched her focus to praising herself on the progress from the previous few months. About a month or so later, her uterus committed seppuku. In her "Here's your proof" (or whatever it was called) video, there was an image of her portal and it was an entry written by the ER doctor. It mentioned "Patient claims to weigh in the 490s". SHE WAS REGAINING WEIGHT BEFORE HER CANCER DIAGNOSIS.

My speculation is that the combination of feeling unwell from tonsilitis and antibiotics, as well as her having to eat real food instead of hyper-palatable processed food products, made her unable to maintain the 4500 calorie/day eating she would have needed to do in order to maintain her 600+ lb weight. To me, this also blows her story of having BED out of the water, because whenever her favourite snacky-poos aren't around, suddenly Amber magically doesn't binge anymore.

If Jade REALLY wants to help Amber to lose weight, she needs to break up with Amber and prepare a quick move out of that apartment. Within 2 weeks, Amber will be showered with makeup on and clean clothing, and will be celebrating her 35lb weight loss by posting some insta thirst trap pics in order to fatfish another caretaker.

 

[caffeinated_pirate]

Vlogmas day 15.

I know I do these late but I want to give Boolean and Diet Coke the chance to go first since they the OGs. Then I time it for work so I get paid for this crap.

Her face is looking fatter than ever. She’s prattling about boxes she sent in the mail I gusss.

She’s prattling about her health.

How much did this necklace cost, I wonder? It’s ugly as sin. What kind of font is that ‘B’? I could barely tell what it was!

Oh god yes. She’s trying to fit it around her fat! Funny as hell. Amber forgot she has a neck. I am now learning that Walmart sells necklace extenders. Things normal people wouldn’t know about.

Why on earth is she filming a taste test reaction for Jade when she’s NEVER ON THE CAMERA. THERES NO REACTION YOU DUMB DUMB DUMMY

sorry, lost my cool there

Bananas that aren’t ripe give her tummy ouchies.

She’s showing us a grocery haul full of veggies and lean means and I ain’t buyin it for a second. She’s just not showing the rest of the garbage she bought.

She bought protein shakes cuz she doesn’t like to eat when she first wakes up. I’m pressing X

She’s stopping the take out tomorrow, guys. How long will this one last? She enjoys the food she makes over takeout but takeout is just THERE. Y’know, when you have an extra $50 to add to any order for DD fees.

Oh no! She made me watch her chores yesterday and I thought we were done, but now she’s continuing the bathroom chores. She has a box of hair accessories but she doesn’t even comb her hair. Which, by the way, is even greasier than yesterday.

I’d have more fun organizing my own bathroom.

Lol she doesn’t use her lower drawers. HHHMMMMMM why could that be?

She has a best friend necklace for her DOG. Good christ

She lets her earrings just sit loose in her drawers and then is surprised when she can’t find a matching pair.

She is not wearing the totally not ugly new necklace Jade just got her.

She’s going to donate lipstick which I KNOW they won’t take. She seriously doesn’t understand how wasteful this is.

Gross. She lets her toothbrush just lie loose in her drawer with necklaces and earrings. Course I keep mine upright in a tooth brush holder and caught my cat chewing on it the other day, so fair play, Amber.

Twinkie still won’t look at her. Avoids eye contact at all costs. Probably salty that you aren’t wearing the best friends necklace.

Hold up

Amber got Twinkie a large pack of doggie treats just like two weeks ago and she’s already on the last one.

Amber can’t lite brite without copying one of the templates on the box. She tried to make a heart and it came out all jagged. Power level, I went to art school so I can properly critique her art, okay?!

Ooooh she added in a shot of her balcony and let us know that she sits outside DAILY, guys.

She’s now talking about her reading slump and one of the comments told her to read a different book. No shit. Someone had to point this out to her. She loves reading SO MUCH THO

People have been noticing her breathing is growing ragged. It’s okay, guys. It’s her lipedema. It’s not her fat, it’s not her fault.

She still isn’t wearing that necklace. Why not just use the hook of the necklace to hook it onto the choker you are wearing now and use that to extend it? Oh, because it’s ugly.

Her binging is the worst it’s been in years. I am EXTREMELY interested to find out what that really means. She should film that. I would actually watch her shovel three bags of Oreos into her mouth.

To be fair…I watched her organize her bathroom, so who here is the REAL loser?

Whenever she claims she binged I imagine that TikTok where she’s shoving cookies into her mouth and sobbing. That was great.

She’s mumbles about how diets don’t work and she needs to EAT INTUITIVELY and I roll my eyes. Same shit, different day. Still fat.

People saying she waddles is RUDE. It’s the LIPEDEMA!!!!

Playdoh. Graaaaaaaaah. She made a fire place. With mist-TOES.

Why did the cat advent calendar come with a Chinese finger trap? The fu?

She refuses to say ‘Fraiche’ which is the name of the commenter of the day. She’s such a good reader, though.

 

[Totally real FBI Frank]

You know, this is one of the things where I'd get physically violent with her over. There's absolutely no reason for this 600 lb toddler to keep showing her tongue every chance she gets while eye fucking herself in the viewfinder. This is not even about manners at this point, there's just something wrong there that my lizard brain wants to auto-correct through force.

My very southern family has a saying, it’s called slappin the tastebuds out ya fucking mouth. That’s what she needs. She’d still be a deathfat though.

 

[Empress of Lucite]

I was sad when her kiwi sub forum was collapsed into this thread but now I get it - the writing that she's boring as hell was all over the walls but I just didn't want to admit it yet

Fingers crossed that in 2023 we get an eviction, a terminal diagnosis, or better yet... a sudden death! Cuz I can't sit through another year inside her boring apartment watching her finger lego sets.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

So my girlfriend works at the local Goodwill and she told me they wouldn’t be able to sell those little mini brand things. They’re too tiny and loose. She said they’d take them and just toss them once she left.

So Amber isn’t helping anyone by donating. Just skip the trip and bin them yourself.

It depends on the thrift store. I’ve seen bags of petite trinkets Legos or Shopkins packed in gallon Ziplock bags then sealed shut with packing tape as a “lot.” This is a pretty common yard sale move, too. Regardless, all those mini brands sent to Goodwill would be the tiny plastic equivalent of a Lularoe hun dumping all their stock on the local thrift stores once they jump ship.

Amber is so extremely boring and stagnant, I honestly don't know why I always come back, it feels like I developed Stockholm's syndrome or something. The kiwis breathing life to this thread are way more entertaining than the cow herself. Kudos to everybody.

I only really only frequent this thread nowadays because Kiwis make everything better. I’d love to cap myself but don’t want to oversaturate the thread (plus everyone else does a better job than I would.)

 

[TrainWreckSpotter]

She’s mumbles about how diets don’t work and she needs to EAT INTUITIVELY and I roll my eyes. Same shit, different day. Still fat.

Chantal's "intuitive eating" meant she could eat what she wanted, whenever she wanted, and it was A LOT. That's how she got up to 400 pounds. Amber will be back to 572 (and beyond) in no time.

 

[Constellationzero]

It depends on the thrift store. I’ve seen bags of petite trinkets Legos or Shopkins packed in gallon Ziplock bags then sealed shut with packing tape as a “lot.” This is a pretty common yard sale move, too. Regardless, all those mini brands sent to Goodwill would be the tiny plastic equivalent of a Lularoe hun dumping all their stock on the local thrift stores once they jump ship.

Common at bolth my local Goodwill and Salvation Army stores. They're doing it for Christmas ornaments too, but usual M.O. is doing it with small toys/action figures and sell in lots.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

...Amber's a prime example of the philosophical thought experiment of "Plato's Cave" (it's obviously not based on any true happening, based on the logical inconsistencies of the story, but it's a thought experiement in perception):

Plato's Cave is a story of a group of people who spent their entire lives in a cave. They lived in total darkness, except for a small amount of light that would shine on a cave wall above their heads. On this wall, they could see the silhouettes of absolutely horrifying monsters prowling around the opening of the cave. The inhabitants would spend most of their day watching the shadows of these beasts. One man eventually decided to try and leave the cave to confront the monsters. He painstakingly climbed the rockwall in total darkness, and managed to pull himself out of the opening of the cave, where he was immediately blinded by intense light. Once his eyes acclimated to daylight, he looked around and saw a vast and beautiful world around him. He looked towards the cave and saw people with puppets moving in front of the cave opening. The man realized that the 'monsters' they saw were nothing more than shadows of puppets. The man endured the danger of climbing back into the cave in total darkness to warn his people. Everyone refused to believe him, because what he saw didn't match their learned experience as to the true nature of the world. To them, nothing was beyond the cave other than monsters. No open space to explore, no light, etc. No one left the cave.

Amber is totally content with her life, because she has everything that there is to have in the world. She has constant access to processed food. And a living space that can be filled with objects to resemble the living spaces of influencers. And access to processed food. And social media at the tips of her fingers 24/7. And she has constant access to processed food. She always seems to find enablers who are willing to be her caretaker, and can buy whatever children's toy she wants. Oh, and did I mention the food? Amber sits with that standing desk in front of her so she can flop her tits on the table and cram that massive midsection underneath. Then she stares at herself through the viewfinder of a camers set to film her from the chest up, and convinces herself that nothing exists below her boobs. This is all she's ever wanted, and for the most part it's been all she's ever had. Nothing beyond this is REAL to her, so there's no point in seeking it out. And certainly no reason to MISS it or kill yourself over it. The only part that really bothers her about her life, is that people aren't buying her victim mentality bullshit anymore, and fewer people are kissing her shelf over what an amazing person she is.

Amberlynn Reid and Plato's Allegory of the Cave.

How did she become this way?

www.youtube.com

Well, shit. That didn't take long. And COME ON, Charlie! "Boolean"... Boo-lee-in... or "Bullying" works, too (I'd settle for Admiral Janeway, too I suppose). Hey, show my Amberlynn and Chris Farley photos next!

Edited to add (because I just finished it): No Charlie, you aren't quite there. Her apartment is NOT her cave. The apartment is the RESULT of her thoughts and is insight into her mind. The cave (everyone's cave) is their mind and their limiting thoughts: learned behaviours, habits, assumptions of the world. She built it entirely in her mind, and her apartment/vlog/relationships are the consequences.

 

[the weeknd warrior]

Amberlynn Reid and Plato's Allegory of the Cave.

How did she become this way?

www.youtube.com

View attachment 4090269

Well, shit. That didn't take long. And COME ON, Charlie! "Boolean"... Boo-lee-in... or "Bullying" works, too (I'd settle for Admiral Janeway, too I suppose). Hey, show my Amberlynn and Chris Farley photos next!

I saw it on my feed but didn't watch, did he credit you?

 

[Boolean Bitch]

I saw it on my feed but didn't watch, did he credit you?

Yes. He mentioned my name, and made it clear that it came from here without saying The Kiwi Farms, as this is 'The site who shall not be named'. He heavily cropped the original post, which cut out my avatar and name, but he had to because the first half of the post was VERY inappropriate for YouTube. Leaving it would have resulted in him getting the video demonitized, and he likely would have also received a strike or would have been reported by someone. I would have prefered if he just pretended it was his idea the whole time. I'm just here to send and receive honest and uncensored thoughts and ideas - oh, AND OF COURSE to shitpost and check out some funny photo edits. I don't understand the desire for social media fame for having their faces and entire lives COMPLETELY entangled in Gorl World.

I personally find it quite amusing. Everyone is SO QUICK to jump on the bandwagon for The Kiwi Farms to be deleted from the internet, and to declare ALL of the account holders as evil, fatphobic, homophobic, racist, transphobic, sociopathic losers who need to be purged from the earth. Then they all shamelessly lurk the site constantly so they can be told what to think about something.

 

[the weeknd warrior]

Yes. He mentioned my name, and made it clear that it came from here without saying The Kiwi Farms, as this is 'The site who shall not be named'. He heavily cropped the original post, which cut out my avatar and name, but he had to because the first half of the post was VERY inappropriate for YouTube. Leaving it would have resulted in him getting the video demonitized, and he likely would have also received a strike or would have been reported by someone. I would have prefered if he just pretended it was his idea the whole time. I'm just here to send and receive honest and uncensored thoughts and ideas - oh, AND OF COURSE to shitpost and check out some funny photo edits. I don't understand the desire for social media fame for having their faces and entire lives COMPLETELY entangled in Gorl World.

I personally find it quite amusing. Everyone is SO QUICK to jump on the bandwagon for The Kiwi Farms to be deleted from the internet, and to declare ALL of the account holders as evil, fatphobic, homophobic, racist, transphobic, sociopathic losers who need to be purged from the earth. Then they all shamelessly lurk the site constantly so they can be told what to think about something.

Don't call out Omegon like that!

 

[I call shenanigans]

Fingers crossed that in 2023 we get an eviction, a terminal diagnosis, or better yet... a sudden death! Cuz I can't sit through another year inside her boring apartment watching her finger lego sets.

I'm pretty sure 530lbs at 31 years old IS a terminal diagnosis...the only question is how long she has left.

 

[Unabomber Eleven]

Ah, I really hope Jade is some sort of pleasant comfort for Twink, Wasabi and Rarity. She's a shady fucker but Wasabi seems far calmer being held by her than being in the presence of HippoLynn.

It might be as simple as a size differential, because the pets seemed happier with Becky too…

Like what would be more intimidating to you, as a small house pet, something 10x your size (Jade, Becky) or something 50x your size (Amberlynn)?

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

No givum clicks - watch archive instead.

Dunno when I'll get to reeeecapping - am playing video games and they're more important than AL.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

...I know I do these late but I want to give Boolean and Diet Coke the chance to go first since they the OGs. Then I time it for work so I get paid for this crap...

Oh, I'm no OG; I'm just a newfag. You've got seniority on me. And even if you didn't, I'm cool with getting tagged out. Although working out a way to get paid for reeecapping Amber without having to get involved with Gorl World is genius!

============

Lowlight Reel with Commentary. Today is Vlogmas Day 16, or December 15th in the Amberverse. Amber admits that her weight gain is her fault... then starts giving excuses about mentulz and lipedema... then circles back to it being her fault again. She's also clearly upset about people showing their bias against her in reaction channel videos she totally doesn't watch. Other than the weight gain segment, Amber is still obnoxious and insufferable during the vlog. This isn't content; this is CUNTENT.

Spoiler: I gained a lot of weight, my favorite dinner, & opening gifts from subscribers 🎄 vlogmas day 16

Amber has to ask Jade what Vlogmas Day it is, because apparently today is Jade's turn to scull the single brain they share.

READING UPDATE! Amber read 15 pages of the Someone's Story book, and has no idea what it's about.

Amber's never taken a picture with this camera, and she's owned it for like, 4 years! Amber's mind would be BLOWN to discover that her 'videos' are technically tens (or even hundreds) of THOUSANDS of photographs displayed in rapid succession.

PO BOX PRESENTS!! Morons who watch her on YouTube are spending their hard-earned money to send this grifter cards and gifts. Amber admits that's she's gotten some... um... questionable items, and now I REALLY wish she'd do this live instead of in the controlled setting of a pre-recorded video. I will say that at least she's showing this and her (fake) appreciation for her fans. Everyone's sending her Wasabi ordamints, except for one who sent her eccentric earings.

[Narrator: By sponsoring a deathfat, you will ensure that they not only receive ample nutrition and financial opportunties to furthering their education that they will ignore, but you will also allow them to conserve their own financial resources for use on essentials like LEGO, Mini Brands, and decor items with their purpose clearly labelled on them]

OH SHIT! Wasaboo FINALLY makes an appearance for head scratches and attention, and gets nose-bonked out of the way by the Chonky-Twonk (who probably thought Amber was giving out treats). And then she does it again! Poor Wasabi! No wonder he hides.

Jade's present is a gray 'Teddy Fresh' hat... from H3's wife's product line. This is significant because Jade watches Amber listen to H3's podcast - which sounds hella-weird to me.

Amber likes the chocolate milk protein shake, because it tastes like chocolate milk. Later, Amber eats meatballs, rice, and broccoli Jade made for her. "This broccoli is SO GOOD". Yeah... No. If you found broccoli so good, you'd actually EAT broccoli (at least more than a tiny, carefully measured portion)

JUMP CUT TO SHOPPING AND THEN SHOPPING HAUL! Amber needs to get gingerbread houses, because apparently the 32 ugly sweater cookies weren't enough. Amber then does a haul of the houses and many decorations for the houses. Amber's gingerbread house is prebuilt because of course it is. The gingerbread house building will be in another video (to stretch out the cuntent). Amber complained about the bias her audience showed against her in videos from reaction channels that Amber totally doesn't watch.

At least Amber flat-out admits that "this is a fucking daycare". Is she becomming self-aware? Nah, I'm sure it was mentioned in one of the videos she didn't watch.

"I've gained weight because of me". Thanks, Captain Obvious. She claims she's been binging every night at 2am - which I'm convinced is why she won't fix her sleep schedule. It's so much easier to eat all the snacky-poos in peace when no one's awake to see it and suggest that you stop. Amber said "If I gain weight it's because of me, and if I lose weight it's because of me", which is half true. Every time she's lost weight, it's been because someone else was controlling the food. Whether that was Krystal's parents securing the food, or Becky being too zombified to drive her to multiple restaurants every day. Don't worry though, the gaining is still her fault. Amber doesn't want to talk about Jade being an enabler.

They have a book where they write down love notes for each other and include their weights for the other to see [OMG that's weird - WTF is wrong with these two?!?] 521.4lbs.

Amber colours the cardboard playhouse. Jade helps. Why does Jade seem to be wearing no pants? Amber's acting like this is serious work - though I'm writing about this, so I guess I shouldn't throw stones from inside my glass house. Rarity gets loopy from a mild catnip overdose.

Comment of the day asks for the name of the panda suit sweater thing she got Jade, so Amber showed the listing. It cost $42.99 on Amazon.com.

TL;DR: 521.4lbs. Amber admits the weight gain is her fault to get sympathy points. Amber unboxes gifts from her fans. The Chonky-Twonk turns a rare moment of Wasabi trying to get attention into WWE Smackdown. Jade gets a gray 'Teddy Fresh' hat. Amber eats.

 

[Bibbity Bobbity]

Boolean Bitch sayeth:

They have a book where they write down love notes for each other and include their weights for the other to see [OMG that's weird - WTF is wrong with these two?!?] 521.4lbs.

Christ, that's moronic. It's giving me vibes like in 2012, when the most romantic, specialest thing you could do as a young couple was share your passwords. It was great for showing your love! Until a break-up, in which college kids found all their classes dropped and there was nothing IT could do.

Babeh, I love you so much! Here's how gigantically fat I am! Just for you! Until now, when I announce to the world!

 

[PotatoSalad4711]

25 pound weight gain in a month in a half. Sadly, I don’t even think that’s a record for her.

Yeah, she really needs to stop Twinkie from doing that. Immediately petting her and saying “stahp it” in a sing-songy voice is just positive reinforcement. Granted, I’ve never had dogs with cats, but I know that could end up in a fight if it was two dogs.

 

[Kier Starmer]

she cried cus she's fat so since she was one. "I let myself own" gorl you have never once held yourself accountable. She is heavier than 521.4 tbh she does not even stand on a proper scale.

This is so dumb, she is going to go down this virtue path claiming she is an addict, I can feel it. Yet she chooses thumbnails etc that exploit that especially but Youtube chooses them right?!

bitch is spinning wheels currently