August 8th review

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Big Island Post Office is unlikely to be an exact location. It's a tiny post office deep in the sticks, and he was playing online with his Switch for some time today. I guess he could have been driven around there, but even that I don't know why. Chris doxes himself and leaves more questions.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

There's a chance that this isn't a precise location. Pokemon Go had remote raid passes given out every day during Covid,
which allow you to participate in a raid without actually being at the location.
Chris could still have a couple left, especially considering the time of his incarceration.

You can only invite others to a raid if you're within something like half a kilometer of the raid (it has to be visible on your main game screen). Even if he wasn't there, he was close to it, since he sent out raid invites.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Chris got sent to "Big Island" 'cause it's the only place big enough to contain his ego.

also he's fat

 

[TV's Adam West]

I still can't get over the fact that she actually got Chris to buy fucking Nazi soldier pictures of all things.

I can fix her

 

[WonderWino]

Big island is basically some patch of dirt in the middle of the backwater virgina is famous for. There's either 300 or 1000 people at most on the island and any special needs children have to be ferried off the island to Lynchburg proper for schooling. That's all I can dig up on the place assuming Chris is there. It's such a boring hick/retard island that has even less to say Than his hometown of ruckersvile

If it somehow turns out that he has in fact been sent there, I can already see where this era is going. It'll be forever known as the banished to sonichu island era. and you just know he'll do temple 2.0 there sooner or later

Alright, what happens to 14BC if Barb dies while Chris is in group housing? Would the protective order prevent him from being able to claim the property? If so, do you think we will we get to see Cole burn the house down and all the shame it represents with it?

Reading that reminded me of that scene in whats eating gilbert grape where johnny depp burns the house down cause his mom is too morbidly obese to remove from the house after she dies. If this were to happen I wonder if it would go down like it did with the jews as the burning of the first sonichu temple era

 

[anliteralidiot]

It'll be forever known as the banished to sonichu island era. and you just know he'll do temple 2.0 there sooner or later

I want an adaptation of LOST now with sonichus.

 

[Mango Cobra]

He waived his right to a trial ages ago.

His lawyer asked the court for something called deferred disposition, and that's the process which has been going on since Chris was released into the community.

Under that process, if Chris satisfied all of the conditions which were imposed on him, then at review the court can dismiss the proceedings against him without a conviction being recorded. If he violated any of the conditions, then the court can enter a conviction (because he has already pleaded guilty) and sentence him. If he is currently still in the community, it's unlikely that he violated any of those conditions.

So the tefflon tard wins again, possibly?

 

[Kirby]

So Chris has internet connection now and hasn't interacted with social media at all. Either he no longer has access to them or he is avoiding it on purpose. I would imagine by now he understands that he is a pariah to society and is probably paranoid that a-logs will try to find him.

More realistically though Chris probably feels like he has no reason to communicate with people anymore. He is convinced he is married to his drawings so as far as he is concerned the lovequest is complete. As long as he is able to play video games and build lego all day that is enough for him to be happy. He no longer has any adult responsibilities to worry about and can live the rest of his life in manchild mode shitting himself and doing nothing.

The other option is Chris is still in a group home and is still barred from social media but as soon as he is free he will be back on Twitter doubling down on being Jesus. If that's the case I'm predicting a Ween Cult saga that will end with either Chris dying or going to jail again since there are no longer any white knights that will try to look out for him. Maybe Praetor would to an extent but their only motivation is keeping Chris as their pet lolcow.

 

[Glowing In The Streets]

You would think Big Island was a penal colony for the mentally disturbed
Kind of like a mini Australia

 

[Polska krowa]

I remember another pervert who lived on an island

 

[Critical Raxx Theory]

Our true god king in exile

 

[AbduluCthuluZulu]

So Chris has internet connection now and hasn't interacted with social media at all. Either he no longer has access to them or he is avoiding it on purpose. I would imagine by now he understands that he is a pariah to society and is probably paranoid that a-logs will try to find him.

More realistically though Chris probably feels like he has no reason to communicate with people anymore. He is convinced he is married to his drawings so as far as he is concerned the lovequest is complete. As long as he is able to play video games and build lego all day that is enough for him to be happy. He no longer has any adult responsibilities to worry about and can live the rest of his life in manchild mode shitting himself and doing nothing.

The other option is Chris is still in a group home and is still barred from social media but as soon as he is free he will be back on Twitter doubling down on being Jesus. If that's the case I'm predicting a Ween Cult saga that will end with either Chris dying or going to jail again since there are no longer any white knights that will try to look out for him. Maybe Praetor would to an extent but their only motivation is keeping Chris as their pet lolcow.

There's also the theory that Chris just hasn't gotten access to his socials back yet since they were all hijacked while he was in jail.

 

[Catloaf]

OH LAWD

 

[Procrastinhater]

I'm surprised he didn't make a b-line for the "sonichu temple" as soon as they cut him loose.

I think he's had it hammered home that if he does that he's fucked.
I guess it also means he has some kind of restraining order prohibiting it.
He's also at the opposite end of the state on an island with no car.
I can't see him staying away for ever, Chris is a fucking idiot, once that new feeling of being free sinks in he's likely to be less cautious.

 

[Got Milk!]

View attachment 5263704

Based on this collage, if he was born 20 years later he would be defending America First against that dang dirty Ethan Ralph right about now.

 

[PetiteFeet]

I wonder what the 'best Chris' outcome would have been.

Married to Meghan, three cute kids, no Sonichu obsession. A mild, relatively normal interest in nerdy things. Helps his ladywife with her etsy crafts.

Mr. C and Little C's dreamstudio saw usage, Bob taught Chris how to be a man - things like shaving with a straigh razor, how to tie several different tie knots, general gentlemanly behaviour.

Barb taught Chris how to cook - nothing elaborate but enough to sustain him and his family. Humble cooking, simple cooking, wholesome cooking.
Barbera also taught him how to hold a house - cleaning, keeping order, basic economy.

Meghan is satisfied, intellectually as well as sexually. Chris is a dedicated and attentive lover.

Chris is a good father to his kids, Crystal is the apple of his eye and she makes him proud.

a more horrifying alternative, what would the worst Chris be if our world isn't it?

The incest was never discovered nor was Isabella Loretta Janke discovered and stopped. In fact, every troll after and including the Idea Guys continued to fuck with Chris with no interference. Chris ends up ritually sacrificing Barb after raping her repeatedly in an attempt to usher in The Merge.
The Merge happens, ILJ merges with fictional Mary Lee Walsh and becomes an unstoppable demonic goddess. The Idea Guys disappear, Rapture style, and all minor trolls get incinerated

Spoiler: incinerated

as ILJ transforms.

Or Chris ends up as a destitute drug addict post Idea Guys. No one trolls him after that and he dies alone, cold, high off his rocker in the street like the massive, useless sack of shit he is.

 

[repentance]

So the tefflon tard wins again, possibly?

I wouldn't call being incarcerated and under supervision for the last two years winning.

While it seems that Chris has been able to comply with the conditions of his deferred disposition, he did so in environments where he was largely protected from people being able to mess with him for internet clout. I wouldn't count on him having learned the skills to develop healthy online and real life friendships during his time in custody.

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

He could probably have fucked autistic women but he refused to even consider other autists. He and Pixyteri or Cynthia Hanson would make a nice couple. They could write Sonichugglebug comics together.

That makes me wonder, has Chris ever met another person he considers to be an autist?
Sure, he's an autism supremacist, hating everyone more normative but also hating everyone less functional... but has he ever acknowledged that sweet middle ground?
Because different autists can behave quite differently and I'm guessing Chris would never be able to figure out that an autist who displays different symptoms to him is a true and honest autist

The other option is Chris is still in a group home and is still barred from social media

Can they really give him internet access and yet bar him from social media? Is that something they can even keep track of?
I mean, the man has a phone with an internet connection, we know that for a fact now, what could they possibly do to prevent him from using it?

Maybe they simply blocked big websites like Twitter and Facebook on the home wifi network

I wonder if Chris will ever direct himself to the 4chanz

 

[Wuhan Wet Market]

If it somehow turns out that he has in fact been sent there, I can already see where this era is going. It'll be forever known as the banished to sonichu island era. and you just know he'll do temple 2.0 there sooner or later


Reading that reminded me of that scene in whats eating gilbert grape where johnny depp burns the house down cause his mom is too morbidly obese to remove from the house after she dies. If this were to happen I wonder if it would go down like it did with the jews as the burning of the first sonichu temple era

He's going to be a retarded version of those monks. Chris is making the final pilgrimage to the holy land

 

[Funeral for a Furry]

That makes me wonder, has Chris ever met another person he considers to be an autist?
Sure, he's an autism supremacist, hating everyone more normative but also hating everyone less functional... but has he ever acknowledged that sweet middle ground?
Because different autists can behave quite differently and I'm guessing Chris would never be able to figure out that an autist who displays different symptoms to him is a true and honest autist

Can they really give him internet access and yet bar him from social media? Is that something they can even keep track of?
I mean, the man has a phone with an internet connection, we know that for a fact now, what could they possibly do to prevent him from using it?

Maybe they simply blocked big websites like Twitter and Facebook on the home wifi network

I wonder if Chris will ever direct himself to the 4chanz

If Chris did nanahe to get on any social media do you think for a second alarms wouldn't be going off here.