Biggest bullshit in a video game

Since people brought up Blue Shells in MKWii, might as well mention the thundercloud as it's somewhat useless. I didn't even know it gives a speed boost until a few months ago. As a kid, I always passed it to someone else as soon as I got it.
 
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Since people brought up Blue Shells in MKWii, might as well mention the thundercloud as it's somewhat useless. I didn't even know it gives a speed boost until a few months ago. As a kid, I always passed it to someone else as soon as I got it.
Really? I thought it made everyone else slower.
 
Starting next to a Fanatical Purifier/Determined Exterminator/Devouring Swarm in Stellaris.

Your only hope is that they hate their other neighbor more than they hate you. If they declare war on you before 2275, you might as well restart and save yourself the time it takes for them to steamroll you.
 
WarGame Air Land Battle's computer AI is so fucking OP that I shouted at children I was so mad.
How is a player supposed to compete with an AI that can simultaneously issue hundreds of orders while having perfect knowledge of LOS from both their, and the player’s perspectiv?
The story missions were also bullshit with only one way to successfully complete them.
I wanted to love this game, I really did.
 
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Didn't realize you were supposed to press "UP" and "Down" while on the drum till I looked it up in 2009. If I would have known that sooner, that would have save me all my 1-UPs I lost in this section.
 
When playing Dungeons and Dragons Online some years ago, I was confronted during a mission by a panel with two levers.
One would let you continue the mission. The other killed you instantly. There was no way of knowing, other than painful experience, which was which.
 
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When playing Dungeons and Dragons Online some years ago, I was confronted during a mission by a panel with two levers.
One would let you continue the mission. The other killed you instantly. There was no way of knowing, other than painful experience, which was which.
Wow, that's bullshit. Final Fantasy XI did something like that, but at least had to decency to only drop you into a pit that had an annoying run back to the door with the levers to try again.
 
When playing Dungeons and Dragons Online some years ago, I was confronted during a mission by a panel with two levers.
One would let you continue the mission. The other killed you instantly. There was no way of knowing, other than painful experience, which was which.
That's nothing. The original S-series module Tomb of Horrors, back in 1978, in pen and paper dies, has a statue where if you enter its mouth (and the game strongly hints you should), you get teleported and dropped out of the mouth of another similar statue elsewhere in the dungeon. If you decide to do the obvious, try to jump back in to see if you can get back to your party, the destination statue has an item called a sphere of annihilation that instantly kills you, no resurrection possible because it completely destroys you as if you had never existed.

And the way to handle this as GM was as soon as someone did get into this thing, to take them aside and separate them from the rest so they couldn't communicate. Then if they did the obvious you just sent them home. And if the entire party didn't figure out there was no obvious way back from this trap from the fact nobody was coming back, and kept doing this. . .well tough.

But as for vidya, Wizardry IV. Not anything particular, just the whole fucking game.
 
Starting next to a Fanatical Purifier/Determined Exterminator/Devouring Swarm in Stellaris.

Your only hope is that they hate their other neighbor more than they hate you. If they declare war on you before 2275, you might as well restart and save yourself the time it takes for them to steamroll you.

Fuck those guys. I seriously just restart because they devour everyone around them insanely quickly. If I could disable those civs I would. The only benefit from going to war with them is that you don't need claims, but then all of a sudden its "LOL ENJOY BEING OVER ADMIN CAP".

That's nothing. The original S-series module Tomb of Horrors, back in 1978, in pen and paper dies, has a statue where if you enter its mouth (and the game strongly hints you should), you get teleported and dropped out of the mouth of another similar statue elsewhere in the dungeon. If you decide to do the obvious, try to jump back in to see if you can get back to your party, the destination statue has an item called a sphere of annihilation that instantly kills you, no resurrection possible because it completely destroys you as if you had never existed.

And the way to handle this as GM was as soon as someone did get into this thing, to take them aside and separate them from the rest so they couldn't communicate. Then if they did the obvious you just sent them home. And if the entire party didn't figure out there was no obvious way back from this trap from the fact nobody was coming back, and kept doing this. . .well tough.

But as for vidya, Wizardry IV. Not anything particular, just the whole fucking game.

Tomb of Horrors was just "Fuck you" in PnP form. I honestly don't think it was meant to be playable, just a go fuck yourself to people who played D&D.
 
That's nothing. The original S-series module Tomb of Horrors, back in 1978, in pen and paper dies, has a statue where if you enter its mouth (and the game strongly hints you should), you get teleported and dropped out of the mouth of another similar statue elsewhere in the dungeon. If you decide to do the obvious, try to jump back in to see if you can get back to your party, the destination statue has an item called a sphere of annihilation that instantly kills you, no resurrection possible because it completely destroys you as if you had never existed.

And the way to handle this as GM was as soon as someone did get into this thing, to take them aside and separate them from the rest so they couldn't communicate. Then if they did the obvious you just sent them home. And if the entire party didn't figure out there was no obvious way back from this trap from the fact nobody was coming back, and kept doing this. . .well tough.

But as for vidya, Wizardry IV. Not anything particular, just the whole fucking game.
Wiz IV is hard as fucking balls and full of bullshit but it's actually kind of fun.

Tomb of Horrors was straight up sadism/monkey's paw shit.
 
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Tomb of Horrors was just "Fuck you" in PnP form. I honestly don't think it was meant to be playable, just a go fuck yourself to people who played D&D.
The group I GMed actually won it, with one guy still alive. Nobody actually fell for the obvious trick. They still got obliterated by the absolutely ludicrous demi-lich end boss, possibly the most completely unfair enemy in a PnP unless you literally started throwing shit from Deities & Demigods at them.

Also have fun with your +5 Vorpal Sword when the boss is literally just a floating skull.
 
Star Trek Online has a mission called 'Coliseum' which is quite possibly the worst designed mission I've ever seen in an MMO.

You get captured by some kind of beam coming off an orbital platform, which disables your ship.
If you fly a carrier and have a dozen strike craft deployed you can't order them to blow the platform up, because HURR DURR.
You teleport over to the platform (apparently the teleporter is the only thing on your ship that doesn't get disabled by the mystery beam).
You have to run around looking for four consoles, two of which are put in illogical, out of the way places, to get the codes to put in another console to shut the beam down.
But the instructions on inputting the codes makes no fucking sense so it's more by luck/persistence than skill if you do it.

Once this is all done and your ship is released, you are mysteriously beamed down to a prison cell without the four members of the team that were with you on the platform.
Naturally your crew can't find you and rescue you because apparently it's the one fucking thing in the history of Star Trek that can't be fixed with a simple polarity reversal of the flux wave glharbarnargarrbl.
Once in prison, you're forced to engage in stupid janky melee combat in an arena.
After a couple of rounds of this, the Reman dipshit in the cell next to yours helps you plan a breakout.
So the next time you get sent out to fight, you get to reprogram several sentry turrets to kill everything in the arena that's not you or Mr Dipshit.
This is complicated by the fact that you have a giant acid spitting subterranean land squid attacking you the whole time.
Once the landsquid is dead and you escape, you have to escort Mr Dipshit, who is hungry and wounded, feed him, and use local herbs to heal him.

Eventually you find your way to his crashed ship and assemble a rudimentary communicator to call your ship.
As soon as you do this, the Tal Shiar (Romulan Imperial secret police) pop up and start gloating "ha ha we have you now, captain whatsyername, prepare to die".
Of course Mr Dipshit is a traitor and a Tal Shiar plant, because reasons. The whole thing was a test of your combat abilities. Or maybe it was a trap to kill you.
But neither explanation makes any sense because your individual data is useless if they're about to kill you, and if they want you dead they could have just shot you in prison.
Then, just as the Tal Shiar raise their weapons to kill you, you get teleported out, because of course you do.

Whoever designed this mission needs to hand in their game designer card because the mission is utter shit from start to finish.

this fucking shit.jpg
 
Dash jump in Ys6. If there was ever a game that needed no fall mode... :mad:
 
The group I GMed actually won it, with one guy still alive. Nobody actually fell for the obvious trick. They still got obliterated by the absolutely ludicrous demi-lich end boss, possibly the most completely unfair enemy in a PnP unless you literally started throwing shit from Deities & Demigods at them.

Also have fun with your +5 Vorpal Sword when the boss is literally just a floating skull.
Was Shatter available in the version ToH was introduced?

It's arguably metagaming but fuckit this is Tomb of Horrors
 
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This fucking bitch. Got a triangle advantage? Too fucking bad, her weapon fucks over the entire triangle as well as bow and armored units. it also allows her to attack first if any of the previously mentioned unit types initiate combat, or if she's below 75% health. Alright she's a sword flyer so just use a bow or another range so she can't hit back, right? Fuck you, she's got distant counter and with an iote's shield seal she's no longer weak to bows. Have fun!
 
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This fucking bitch. Got a triangle advantage? Too fucking bad, her weapon fucks over the entire triangle as well as bow and armored units. it also allows her to attack first if any of the previously mentioned unit types initiate combat, or if she's below 75% health. Alright she's a sword flyer so just use a bow or another range so she can't hit back, right? Fuck you, she's got distant counter and with an iote's shield seal she's no longer weak to bows. Have fun!
you need either batshit insane defense and damage mitigation as a blue melee unit, or be a blue mage/bow/dagger that can one round her.

She's not the absolute worst unless you run into gacha whales fronting her in top end pvp modes.

now, granted, I run a +10 Kid Marth from the same banner she launched on so I'm probably satan. He's got sets built around wrath, NFU, and repel in the B slot. Times Pulse for instant proc, or dual threaten atk spd for bullshit.





Whats still funny is that Reinhardt is an acceptable answer to most problems. He just scores like garbage in pvp.
 
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View attachment 1921649
This fucking bitch. Got a triangle advantage? Too fucking bad, her weapon fucks over the entire triangle as well as bow and armored units. it also allows her to attack first if any of the previously mentioned unit types initiate combat, or if she's below 75% health. Alright she's a sword flyer so just use a bow or another range so she can't hit back, right? Fuck you, she's got distant counter and with an iote's shield seal she's no longer weak to bows. Have fun!
Her Res isnt amazing so blue mages still mangle her

I'd throw in Brave Edelgard too, she can fuck right off
 
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