Biggest bullshit in a video game

[Scarthew]

It's mainly autism RPGs.

Like what?

Though even relatively popular games like Elden Ring are infinitely easier by following a guide and the awful DLC is based on that assumption.

I'm sorry this just isn't true, Elden Ring is designed around not taking damage and nothing in the dlc is more difficult than anything in the base game's final boss rush. Pretty much every boss will kill in 3 hits at 60 vigor which still gives you a large margin for error. And I didn't use the items that reduce enemy damage, which are offered to players as a crutch option on top of that so I can't imagine how much of a joke it is if you choose to use them.

In fact I don't have to, you can easily get it reduced by 40% before you even fight a boss, up to 60% if you really look. And cut in half if you get em all. That would bring the hit margin to 5-7 which makes them twice as easy compared to bosses like maliketh, godwyn or malenia. This is on top of the fact that you're probably using the most broken tools designed to auto stun bosses without much effort and probably also using spirit ashes.


Now I'm not going to say using cheap methods means you "didn't actually win" because those options are included intentionally as a diffculty selector. However what I will say is it seems like you don't enjoy the game if you actively choose to avoid engaging in its mechanics as much as possible.

In other words, git gud.

Tactics Ogre for the Switch was the biggest time I felt it with how underpowered everything felt. But even in other games you'd have the issue of extremely static and limited growth so the gameplay will be identical to other players.

Never played it but it sounds like you're talking about a game that's poorly balanced. Like you mentioned rpgs above, if you mean jrpgs it's hard to find one that's well balanced especially if you factor in difficulty options. Even with the ability to take infinite potions or grind you're still just calculators slamming against each other with little/none of it being impacted by skill. Even if you want to waste your time bashing your head against inflated numbers there's at least one case where nothing you do matters, tutorial fights. SMT3 on hard you can just die at the start regardless of what you do.

 

[Skeletron Prime]

Man I hate having to unlock difficulties. Most of the time I don't want to play through normal mode to unlock retard squisher mode just put me straight in the retard squisher.

Recently, I was playing River City: Rival Showdown (remake of RCR) on Switch and it managed to have a difficulty setting system that really climbed my prick: you can only choose Beginner difficulty, which caps your levels and stats until you finish the game with one of the ok endings (I got the worst ending and had to finish the game again on Beginner). Secret shops also aren't available until higher difficulties. And once you finish the game, get ready to do it again with Normal etc to unlock the higher difficulties and higher caps. It's only a short game but Jesus Christ.

 

[Mooger Meng]

Recently, I was playing River City: Rival Showdown (remake of RCR) on Switch and it managed to have a difficulty setting system that really climbed my prick: you can only choose Beginner difficulty, which caps your levels and stats until you finish the game with one of the ok endings (I got the worst ending and had to finish the game again on Beginner). Secret shops also aren't available until higher difficulties. And once you finish the game, get ready to do it again with Normal etc to unlock the higher difficulties and higher caps. It's only a short game but Jesus Christ.

fucking what
No wonder that game was getting shit on.

 

[Jhonny Jhon]

I am so fucking tired that "balancing" in game is always about taking whatever is the best possible option and making it worse. It just results in a constant cycle of players moving down the line to the next best option that gets nerfed until everything sucks. Honestly, I fucking hate the idea of balancing in general because games aren't supposed to be "balance". Games are supposed to be fun. No one in the fucking history of gaming has ever recommended a game to someone else on the idea that it's "balanced" unless they have a brain parasite. You what to know what game is perfectly balanced between players? PONG. Fucking PONG. Both players have access to the exact same paddle, size and all. Imagine playing fucking PONG for entire life.

I can already hear the contrarian bullshit now: "oh, so you want an instant win button?!" Go back to when I said "games are made to be fun". Being able to click a button and reach the end of the game wouldn't be fun since what makes games fun are choices and interactions. When you can skip all the choice making like "how will I move through this level" and "what tools will I use to reach my goal", than the game becomes boring as shit. But a "win button" isn't the only thing that limits choice and interaction. There's also.... nerfing shit to near uselessness! Yes, fuckers! Turns out that the nerfs are just as bad as the "win button" because they both do the same thing of reducing choice and interactions. You know what would happen if every gun in a FPS was buffed to gills? People would bring whatever they want! Maybe, just fucking maybe, the best way to counter metas is to not reduce the options people have but to give them more options!

Games should never be balanced.

There should be enemies who oneshot you, there should be weapons that make you utterly broken, there should be classes that are blatantly overpowered. Because that's fun.

Do you know why everyone remembers Cliff Racers? Because they were UNBALANCED! They were nasty fucks. And I tell you right now that if a modern dev was creating Morrowind, they would nerf the shit out of them, because they think that Players should be able to defeat everything on the map with the balanced tools they are given.

I swear, if I ever create a game I will make the most unbalanced game in existence. There will be classes and items that just make the game a cakewalk, there will be enemies that flood you/oneshot you even if you are in the late-game. It will be the UNBALANCED GAME.

Because that's what is fun about games. Fighting against the odds, climbing that mountain that should not be climbed, cheesing the final boss with a special combination of items. That's what I love doing in games, and if every game had broken overpowered enemies and broken overpowered builds for the Player, they would be ten times better.

I remember to this day when I first played Skyrim and met the Giants. I was underlevelled, had almost no equipment, and was with a few cousins of mine. We would take turns trying to kill them, and for three days straight, whenever we turned on the PS3, we would try to defeat them again. It remains one of my fondest memories.

Overall, I conclude my badly-written rant with a simple phase: BALANCED GAMES ARE FORGETTABLE GAMES.

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

You upgrade some armband or some shit and it changes graphics from something normal looking into some anime bullshit and you can't downgrade or change it.

 

[Sniperwoof]

Dragon's Dogma 2 tying npc subroutines exclusively to the CPU.

I can play Cyberpunk with crowd density maxed out and so many npcs night city looks like India and I still get 80 fps.

Meanwhile in DD2 if there are more than five npcs near me at any time my fps tanks to 20-25.

Whoever made that decision must have been on crack.

 

[Tenshi Eating A Corn Dog!]

Mysterious Figure from Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep. Every complaint about Elden Ring's bosses turned up to 11 except for attack delaying because he doesn't stop attacking long enough to delay them like that.

 

[Sniperwoof]

Mysterious Figure from Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep. Every complaint about Elden Ring's bosses turned up to 11 except for attack delaying because he doesn't stop attacking long enough to delay them like that.

Isn't it possible to stunlock him using magic or am I misremembering that game?

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Like what?

Path of Exile, Underrail. I heard Owlbear games are guilty of it.

Pretty much every boss will kill in 3 hits at 60 vigor which still gives you a large margin for error.

That's like a meme comment "AKTUALLY you only die in 4 hits in a game where every boss has a 10 hit combo. You can also reduce the damage further with a guide". I've seen the guides of people who play on YouTube and the game is piss easy if you know where the broken shit is.

Never played it but it sounds like you're talking about a game that's poorly balanced.

Nah, it's pretty clear what the devs want you to do, but there's so little customisation I just couldn't be arsed when I had a fight where I had to tune the party yet again.

Do you know why everyone remembers Cliff Racers? Because they were UNBALANCED! They were nasty fucks. And I tell you right now that if a modern dev was creating Morrowind, they would nerf the shit out of them, because they think that Players should be able to defeat everything on the map with the balanced tools they are given.

Cliff Racers are more infamous for being a pain than actually dangerous. Either fight them or try to run away (not out of danger but because you don't want to waste your time) and have a conga line of then following you for miles.

 

[Tenshi Eating A Corn Dog!]

Isn't it possible to stunlock him using magic or am I misremembering that game?

It's possible to get cheap shots in with surges, but you're not stunlocking his ass. BBS had inconsistent stun times on enemies (KH has a specific term for this I forget) which meant actually knowing how many swings you can get in past the first hit is impossible. MF has pretty low health for an optional super boss, so just poking him once every very small window of oppurtunity comes up works. Otherwise, you are just spamming I-frames or just dying as Terra.

 

[Scarthew]

Path of Exile

Oh ok you win, I'll never touch that skill tree, though I'm not sure you can call 10 billion useless options "balanced"

That's like a meme comment "AKTUALLY you only die in 4 hits in a game where every boss has a 10 hit combo. You can also reduce the damage further with a guide". I've seen the guides of people who play on YouTube and the game is piss easy if you know where the broken shit is.

Well 4 hits is lenient in a game where you can heal yourself 20 times per fight. If you're just sitting there and eating an entire set of attacks that are never true combos that's entirely on you. If you get hit once you can still dodge the subsequent attacks. It's disengenuine to say otherwise.

You can also just run away before those longer combos start and wait them out.

 

[The Feline Solution]

That said however, the other bits of the TTYD Remake that I've seen are absolutely retarded. For instance, removing dialogue so that the Goombas aren't cat-calling Goombella because of MUH SEXISM is stupid because those guys are supposed to be assholes.

They did fucking what? I once again feel vindicated abiding by my "No reboots, remasters or pointless sequels" rule.

I thought that was mainly exclusive to MOBAs and shit like Rogue Trader?

RT pushed that shit to absurd levels. I already beat the game before the big combat revamp patch and i have no intention ever going back to it thanks to all that bullshit with the buffs and debuffs and how the classes interact with them. Still one of the best games i played in the last couple of years.

To stay on topic, releasing a game that was as much of a buggy mess as RT was should be a criminal offense, the stuff one had to do to circumvent certain bugs just to encounter more bugs later on (a lot making the game unfinishable) was certainly my "biggest bullshit" moment in recent times.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

Changing things in the single player mode where things are insanely broken that's part of the fun of Total War warhammer to try and appeal to the non existent competitive scene

 

[Skeletron Prime]

Oh, another thing that boils my piss: games with skill trees that don't allow you to respec easily. Path of Exile in particular completely alienated me on that point (limited items to take back a point, paid respec), along with character building in the game being such an arcane fucking mess that its a simpler prospect to delete a toon and start over if you fuck up. Total waste of time.

 

[Day of the Cope]

And I tell you right now that if a modern dev was creating Morrowind, they would nerf the shit out of them, because they think that Players should be able to defeat everything on the map with the balanced tools they are given.

Bro, imagine if chess was made today. You know someone would bitch about the queen being able to move as many spaces she wants in any direction. And someone would absolutely bitch about white always moving first because "it's racist".
I need to actually stop because I'm making myself angry.

 

[Calandrino]

You what to know what game is perfectly balanced between players?

Chess

 

[Day of the Cope]

Chess

Entire dissertations have been written on if the first move gives an advantage and by how much.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

People who can't make the AI just more difficult when you turn up the difficulty I really hate how the AI just cheats
Total War having AI that you can just bathe into the stupidest tactics

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

People who can't make the AI just more difficult when you turn up the difficulty I really hate how the AI just cheats
Total War having AI that you can just bathe into the stupidest tactics

Strategy ai has always been borked because on the fly strategy formation/evolving ai is near impossible in a video game right now. So the only way to increase strategy game ai difficulty is to give it more resources at the start and make it more aggressive. Civilization sorta avoids this sometimes as it's ai are not always offensive but it also is very predictable as all the ai will try to either befriend or go full war.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

Strategy ai has always been borked because on the fly strategy formation/evolving ai is near impossible in a video game right now. So the only way to increase strategy game ai difficulty is to give it more resources at the start and make it more aggressive. Civilization sorta avoids this sometimes as it's ai are not always offensive but it also is very predictable as all the ai will try to either befriend or go full war.

Also Total War needs to stop nothing every fun aspect of warhammer 3 Total War to try and appeal to the competitive crowd there will never be Total War warhammer competitive stop trying to make it happen it's not happening
I don't care if I have free necro effects colossus or the fact that my gunman can shoot halfway across the map that's part of the fun.
My wood elf Archers should be allowed to shoot halfway across the map I should be allowed to stack insane buffs stop updating my game game stupid subhuman communist at Sega