Biggest bullshit in a video game

[AnsemSoD1]

A lot of the four star spirits in Smash Ultimate made me want to take Low Tier God's advice. I ended up cheesing or brute forcing most of them as opposed to doing them the "correct" way.

 

[XL xQgg?QcQCaTYDMjqoDnYpG]

Earth Defense Force 6, Mission Pack 2 (Visions of Malice)

Yes, the mission packs are meant to be extra challenging and hard, but that DLC takes the cake
Pretty much after the first third, the missions are plainly sadistic with how brutally difficult and unfair they are
You know how some kids will publish "hard" or "challenge" game mods where it's just swarms of ridiculously overtuned enemies? That mission pack is basically that

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

People who can't make the AI just more difficult when you turn up the difficulty I really hate how the AI just cheats
Total War having AI that you can just bathe into the stupidest tactics

The only "meaningful" change that CA has made is that from Three KANGdomz onwards archers won't shoot your single entities at higher difficulties unless they're the only units in your army. As you can expect people found easy ways to exploit that fact, from what I remember in Three Kangdoms your generals are so swole in Romance mode that they can push siege towers by themselves through sheer force of will, so you can use them to take castle walls all by themselves. Wall and gate towers still shoot at the tower with the general in it but they can't hit them as they are inside the siege tower so they lose no HP and they can't do damage to the siege tower either.

 

[Wot Zit Too Yah0996]

The enemies before the first boss (Kingpin) in Spider-Man PS4. Not only them, but there's turrets around the building.

And the traps in Shao Kahn's Fortress in Mortal Kombat Armageddon. I suppose, at least with Spider-Man, I wasn't dying every time I figured out a way to progress to a new part of the map.

 

[Spectre Saren]

BG3's combat is boring bullshit and I'm tired of pretending it's ok cause' muh tacticz

 

[Super Hans v2]

BG3's combat is boring bullshit and I'm tired of pretending it's ok cause' muh tacticz

I can't wait until 5e fucking dies, even 4e was leagues above this. Even just having actions classed as bonus/standard/encounter/daily like then would have made the combat system much less restrictive.

 

[Calandrino]

The only games I've ever had to use a guide for were old adventure games which were deliberately designed to force the use of a guide.

Ima level with you, I'm like 90% sure that never actually happened and is a cope made up by zoomers. Did you grab a pdf of the official hint guide, or make a beeline for GameFAQs or something?

 

[Scarthew]

Ima level with you, I'm like 90% sure that never actually happened and is a cope made up by zoomers. Did you grab a pdf of the official hint guide, or make a beeline for GameFAQs or something?

What part? I played all the lucas arts games after the fact I wasn't a pc gamer at the time I was on console.

 

[Skeletron Prime]

Ima level with you, I'm like 90% sure that never actually happened and is a cope made up by zoomers. Did you grab a pdf of the official hint guide, or make a beeline for GameFAQs or something?

Personally, back when I was on an adventure game kick in my teens and early 20s, I used a site called Universal Hint System. It was useful for jogging a connection I hadn't made, or at worst just plain spelling out what I had to do. King's Quest makes it practically a necessity to either know your fairy tales or make some damn stupid leaps of logic. GameFAQs was basically a last resort for me for adventure games.

It's not a cope: old adventure games used to come with a number of "feelies" like decoding rings or big ass manuals full of info that the games would sometimes require to proceed forward. Hell, Elder Scrolls: Arena has you answer questions about spells from the spellbook in the manual, even in the downloadable version you can get now (it just comes in a text file). Say what you will about the annoyance factor, but the shit those games came with were by bigass nerds, for bigass nerds, and it ruled compared to the limited edition copies of games that don't even come with the fucking game disc these days. I hate the direction CDPR has gone, but GOG.com got one thing right - including that shit as bonuses for all the games that had them, at least digitally.

 

[faint horizons]

I picked up Starcraft 1 again and holy shit no wonder they had OP spells and OP units (Siege tanks, battlecruisers). The pathfinding on some of these scumfuck units give me cancer. Dragoons can suck my entire ass.

Still a fun experience overall but playing with units that couldn't pathfind to save their own life.

 

[Am I Very Wrong]

the worst i can think of among the games in my pc would be the fallen from devil may cry 3

 

[Psyduck]

I can take a lot of DEI shit. Love myself some Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons, along with Rune Factory. I understand these titles have gotten tainted by now and will probably continue to be. But that's what it is. I still enjoy playing them.

Just got to a point where this shit localization is affecting my enjoyment of the games, though. It's unbelievable how far they'll go to keep the writing as bland and unoffensive as possible that they now refuse to use words like Husband, Wife, or even Lover, for fuck's sake.

Got to the point in Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town where you marry one of the bachelorettes, the ceremony plays along and then comes the part where the priest declares you both "OFFICIALLY WEDDED PARTNERS".

Shit left me with this awful aftertaste. Do these guys ever realize how dehumanizing this type of writing is? Your character is not a person, it's a flavorless blob you can assign a body type to. The characters you interact with are not your friends, lovers, or spouses, theyre your "partners". Like, forget the forced DEI shit, can people not see just how much of the "human" element is striped away from these games?

 

[invisibult plus+]

Just got to a point where this shit localization is affecting my enjoyment of the games, though. It's unbelievable how far they'll go to keep the writing as bland and unoffensive as possible that they now refuse to use words like Husband, Wife, or even Lover, for fuck's sake.

Got to the point in Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town where you marry one of the bachelorettes, the ceremony plays along and then comes the part where the priest declares you both "OFFICIALLY WEDDED PARTNERS".

Shit left me with this awful aftertaste. Do these guys ever realize how dehumanizing this type of writing is? Your character is not a person, it's a flavorless blob you can assign a body type to. The characters you interact with are not your friends, lovers, or spouses, theyre your "partners". Like, forget the forced DEI shit, can people not see just how much of the "human" element is striped away from these games?

They don’t call these people small-souled bugmen for nothing. It’s like the whole non-binary thing- sex (in both senses of the word) is an important part of the human experience. We’re sexually dimorphic. By trying to ignore it or erase it to accommodate ethereal, ever changing identities, you’re divorcing yourself from our reality as a species. That’s why these characters are flavorless blobs to you, because they are.

 

[Wot Zit Too Yah0996]

Ima level with you, I'm like 90% sure that never actually happened and is a cope made up by zoomers. Did you grab a pdf of the official hint guide, or make a beeline for GameFAQs or something?

Did you say (well, type) Ima? Coon...

 

[Friendly Primarina]

Hell, Elder Scrolls: Arena has you answer questions about spells from the spellbook in the manual, even in the downloadable version you can get now (it just comes in a text file).

This may have had something to do with copy protection, to be fair. Since we're talking about adventure games, both Maniac Mansion ans Day of the Tentacle did this in the floppy version too, IIRC.

 

[AnOminous]

This may have had something to do with copy protection, to be fair. Since we're talking about adventure games, both Maniac Mansion ans Day of the Tentacle did this in the floppy version too, IIRC.

I can't remember the actual game any more, but I remember a game in the fucking '80s where you had these cardstock contraptions with holes in them where you had to spin them around and they'd give you a challenge and you'd have to solve it with this primitive ass bullshit by spinning around the top cardstock wheel with holes in it to answer the question (the location you spun the wheel to was given to you and the answer was revealed by whatever was beneath the hole on the lower wheel).

I remember some crack team fixed this by making it so you could just answer whatever.

 

[GenociderSyo]

I can't remember the actual game any more, but I remember a game in the fucking '80s where you had these cardstock contraptions with holes in them where you had to spin them around and they'd give you a challenge and you'd have to solve it with this primitive ass bullshit by spinning around the top cardstock wheel with holes in it to answer the question (the location you spun the wheel to was given to you and the answer was revealed by whatever was beneath the hole on the lower wheel).

I remember some crack team fixed this by making it so you could just answer whatever.

Dial a Pirate was the original Monkey Island.

 

[Mooger Meng]

I can't remember the actual game any more, but I remember a game in the fucking '80s where you had these cardstock contraptions with holes in them where you had to spin them around and they'd give you a challenge and you'd have to solve it with this primitive ass bullshit by spinning around the top cardstock wheel with holes in it to answer the question (the location you spun the wheel to was given to you and the answer was revealed by whatever was beneath the hole on the lower wheel).

I remember some crack team fixed this by making it so you could just answer whatever.

In the early days of PC gaming, copy protection at least came with cool feelies sometimes, and you can still play them 30+ years later.
Now, DRM comes with a risk of bricking your machine or rendering the product you paid for unplayable if when the servers shut down.

 

[Lone Wandering Courier]

In the early days of PC gaming, copy protection at least came with cool feelies sometimes, and you can still play them 30+ years later.
Now, DRM comes with a risk of bricking your machine or rendering the product you paid for unplayable if when the servers shut down.

Back in the day, ripping music CDs on your PC would cause it to be infected by an actual rootkit.

 

[I.B. Niggin]

I can't remember the actual game any more, but I remember a game in the fucking '80s where you had these cardstock contraptions with holes in them where you had to spin them around and they'd give you a challenge and you'd have to solve it with this primitive ass bullshit by spinning around the top cardstock wheel with holes in it to answer the question (the location you spun the wheel to was given to you and the answer was revealed by whatever was beneath the hole on the lower wheel).

I remember some crack team fixed this by making it so you could just answer whatever.

I had an Amiga from childhood until about ten years ago when all of that stuff was sadly damaged in storage and over half of the games we had came with exactly what you were describing.

If it didn't, then you were certainly looking something up in the manual. I'm pretty sure every Cinemaware game had something like this. I remember distinctly for Wings that you always had to type a certain word to pass through piracy so it's basically "Page _, Paragraph_, Sentence_, Word_"

Seems charming but an absolute pain in the ass to both store and make sure its always within reach while actively playing.