Boring Lolcows who you don't get the appeal of

[MG-34]

Chantal. Bitch is fat, fucks brown people and does drugs. I don't get the appeal, the Muray show would get a dozen of Chantals a week for filler episodes on fat people with addictions. It's also a snoozefest when the MATI podcast steers into it.

 

[Jah Hates Kaffirs]

I never really got Tommy Tooter.

 

[Toolbox]

I never really got Tommy Tooter.

He's a degenerate pedo dog rapist whose descent into further insanity produces some funny, but mostly he's got the ego of a criminal who thinks they'll never be punished, which will probably be true in his case. He's more of a horrorcow than a lolcow to me and another showing of what lacking mental asylums has done to society.

 

[Gunterator]

Wingsofredemption. He's not boring in of himself per se. His failings are pretty funny in short doses. The problem is that the dude embodies the sin of sloth. The dude NEVER CHANGES. He never changes his life, he never changes his lifestyle, he never changes his shitty thought process, behavior and eating habits, or anything. The dude has stagnated since 2016 and getting married hasn't changed shit for him. He always gives the trolls attention, he always routinely fucks up in the exact same way

This is exactly what makes him a perpetual lolcow he literally hasn't changed since 2010 the only difference is before face cams he lied about everything. I dont know if it on purpose or not but its a perpetual thing he gets more irrelevant then gets attacked by trolls then gives into demands. After that he usually gets his stuff back then fells emboldened and goes after the trolls to take another L because he thinks hes smarter then the trolls but he isnt and the cycle repeats itself. I can see how its boring but as far as lolcows go he is the most consistent making the same mistakes over and over again and its honestly impressive he has lasted this long.

My vote is the quarter pounder he is pretty annoying and makes very shallow boring content. The problem i have is there are a bunch of other people that literally make the same content and hate him because he games the youtube algorithm. His whole genre is so boring no one cares how much she hulk sucks we already know at least itsagundam its funny about it instead of being boring as hell like all the others in the genre of i guess "gamergaters". Idk how these people get views but they should be irrelevant and they are way too boring to be lolcows

 

[Product Placement]

Most lolcows are boring outside the highlights, you are better off checking in on them now and then rather than all the time, The Gunt is a great lolcow if you just wait for the big stuff, but if you were to actively follow him or god forbid watch his live streams he is painfully boring.

DSP is right now the worst lolcow, been years since anything of note yet his a-log keeps making clips of the same old shit, acting like it's big shit. The fact most KiwiFarms Movie Nights are filled with 2 hours if not more of weekly DSP clips for just the Friday alone really is sad, has led me to believe that those that watch that shit to make the clips are bigger lolcows. At least DSP is doing something with his time rather than alog. I just don't get how they can't move on and accept the reality that DSP is a boring cow and let him go away.

 

[Meat Target]

I'm not seeing the appeal of KingCobra. He's just an ugly, disgusting alkie.

 

[Tablet County]

Bossmanjack just loses his money and gets into coked up shouting matches with spineless cucks on the internet, during which he will pantomime having sex with their mom. This is funny once, but the nigger's a one trick pony and the fact that Dear Leader seems to have such a fascination with him boggles my mind.

 

[🔪Cold Steel Brand Rep🔪]

Fucking DSP needs to have a stroke, but the way he speaks about everything makes it seem like that would be a net positive. I can't stand that guy not being able to get through a sentence without saying the same thing 6 times while he thinks of the next lame joke to make about it.

 

[Ogre Magi]

Bossmanjack just loses his money and gets into coked up shouting matches with spineless cucks on the internet, during which he will pantomime having sex with their mom. This is funny once, but the nigger's a one trick pony and the fact that Dear Leader seems to have such a fascination with him boggles my mind.

As a BossmanJack enjoyer I'll say that on paper it sounds repetitive and boring, but in practice the events of watching streams live is different enough that it becomes entertaining. You do have to watch alongside being in the Keno Kasino for the full experience though.

I will never understand anyone who follows DSP or Daniel Larson, and to an extent Rackets. As someone who used to occasionally watch Rackets live it's just sad seeing him fall so low.

 

[Tablet County]

I will never understand anyone who follows DSP or Daniel Larson, and to an extent Rackets. As someone who used to occasionally watch Rackets live it's just sad seeing him fall so low.

DSP and Larson are normie cows. They're the McDonalds and Burger King of laughing at people online. They're good gateway drugs into Exceptional Individualism, but if you consume only them and those like them exclusively then you're merely a dabbler. Like a sommelier, one must acquire the taste for people like Movieblob.

Rekieta's downfall has been self-inflicted and he's become so insufferable lately that it's really hard to feel any sympathy for him. It is tragic seeing sober Nick juxtaposed with Nichard Upton Pickman, but looking back I sometimes wonder if it was the booze that ruined him, or if it just made his mask fall off.

 

[MajinGoku]

I am going to be flamed for saying this but new chris chan. Chris was funny before he got arrested for incest but no new content has came around since then.

 

[anliteralidiot]

I'm not seeing the appeal of KingCobra. He's just an ugly, disgusting alkie.

That's why I like him? Because he's a weirdo. I want him to do well, because he doesn't have the best life, and he's roasted by stupid troles because of it. His dreams are stupid, but they're like a kid's dream of what being rich is like, and it's endearing to me.

And his food and drink hacks are so...weird that I've gotta see him try them. And I'm always kinda surprised he manages to swallow.

 

[KingLiberty76]

its hard for me to get into Daniel Larson mainly because its retard screaming at people which I find more annoying than funny

 

[SentinentCloud]

rekieta

 

[Active User]

Never been a big fan of the people best known for being terrible at cooking like Kay and KingCobra. Just isn't really that funny to me.

 

[Teghern]

This is heresy but BossmanJack is just your garden variety crackhead hobo, except that he's fed and watered, if I wanted to see a schizo having a meltdown I'd just go visit the town centre.
He isn't funny he's just sad and an excellent advertisement for euthanasia of addicts.

 

[Meat Target]

Like a sommelier, one must acquire the taste for people like Movieblob.

This is pretty much true of any lolcow if you weren't there to witness their rise to cowdom. Catching up on a cow's backstory is a daunting task (which is why I appreciate Youtubers like Turkey Tom who can summarize it when I don't feel like reading a whole OP).

 

[Merton J. Dingle]

Bossman is funny to check on when you just want a simple laugh. He is one of the most repetitive cows, but it's fun to check on him every once in awhile for a cheap laugh. Reminds me a lot of mine and others' motivations for watching Springer and Maury.

The one that I don't really see the appeal of is Patrick Tomlinson. When I saw that he was in the running for cow of the year, I couldn't help but think he was totally underwhelming compared to Rekieta and Bossman.

 

[Spunt]

I'm not seeing the appeal of KingCobra. He's just an ugly, disgusting alkie.

Cobes is a sort of "legacy cow". As he is now, I agree that it's hard to see the appeal. His substance abuse has wrecked him in every way. He never used to be anywhere near as disgusting as he is now, he was just this daft eccentric dumbass who would say and do really weird, entertaining stuff, and had a supporting cast of other eccentrics. And unlike many cows, he wasn't utterly detestable. You could see yourself hanging out with old-school Cobes, listening to some music, smoking some weed, listening him tell you all his weird ideas. Not only has his drinking and solvent abuse turned him into a walking biohazard, it has also turned him into an asshole. The fact that he was likeable was part of his appeal, but he has that addict selfishness that comes to everyone who lets getting high dominate their life. People only watch him now to keep up to date on how he is ruining his life and the lives of those around him. You hold out hope that he'll do something funny like the old Cobes used to do, and sometimes he does (such as his relationship with Methica), but those occasions are getting further and further apart. Even I'm starting to tune out now, it started getting more sad than funny a long time ago.

Rackets is similar, actually, except he has fallen much, much further, and his haters used to be his fans. You need the context for Rackets. He had so much, and a lot of his hate-watchers used to really respect him, look up to him even. He was one of the most financially successful streamers on Youtube (in Superchat takings at least), and the Great White Hope of the right-leaning internet. Except that all the while he was trying to appeal to the "based, trad" conservative side of America, he was trying to hide what a complete degenerate sex weirdo he was, and it was this hypocrisy that turned people from fans into hatewatchers. Unlike Cobes, it's hard to feel sorry for Rackets. He's not a moron like Cobes, he's not poor like Cobes, he was educated and successful and he threw it all away to have a gigantic midlife crisis live on air because he couldn't get over his own ego. That's why people watch Rackets' meltdown, it's schadenfreude. Watching Cobes drink himself to death is sad, he's past the point of no return, but for Rackets it's funny, because he could halt his decline if he could get over his narcissism for a day or two, but he can't.

 

[Tablet County]

Never been a big fan of the people best known for being terrible at cooking like Kay and KingCobra. Just isn't really that funny to me.

They're best enjoyed vicariously. Kay isn't necessarily funny on her own, but Josh's coverage of her on MATI is.

The one that I don't really see the appeal of is Patrick Tomlinson. When I saw that he was in the running for cow of the year, I couldn't help but think he was totally underwhelming compared to Rekieta and Bossman.

Clearly you have never heard the infamous Josiah Tape 5 where he tries to belittle the guy by talking down to him like a schoolmarm. It's the funniest content I've ever seen a lolcow produce—period. It's funnier than Chris's dad cutting down that internet, it's funnier than Mundane Matt being exposed as a flaggot, it is leagues funnier than anything Bossman has ever produced in his life.
That and I enjoy watching retarded narcissists fail constantly, and Patrick is a retarded narcissist who fails constantly and gets riled up by the most obvious bait. A guy from the OnA forums texted him a picture of a wookie followed by wookie sounds and he responded. He has historically argued with people named shit like "Patrick Tomlinson's toilet" on twitter at length.