Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

[Fapcop]

When Chris streamed his gameplay of Uncharted, he was struggling on the easier difficulties.
I think it’s been discussed before that Chris is not good at vidya despite being the only thing he ever puts any effort into.

I’ll bet you he’s real good at those LEGO games, that they used to shart out constantly a few years ago.

And Tetris of course, which Chris has admitted he uses for “meditation”.

 

[CwChalk]

I still believe people here let bob off too easily. People need to realize old people especially the ones raising children are usually retarded enough to assume the kids have a near carbon copy of the environment they themselves grew up in. I guarantee you the love quest was an idea Chris got from bob. Maybe chris fucked it up but im sure bob said that he knew a buddy who did something not even remotely similar back in the 40s and he found a wife because of it.

Bob never cared for the lovequest, even expressed disdain for it when it was brought up in a christmas video.

https://sonichu.com/cwcki/ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004

He was just supportive of his tard son, because that's what people do for their loved ones whether they think they'll be successful or not.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Bob made sure to get him the most money available, and ended up having to take room & board out

I thought Chris was paying rent when Bob was alive. I'm surprised Bob didn't charge extra for every time Chris fucked up.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

I got my older sibling, who barely knew about Chris, to start watching this series. He's around episode 10. He's a lot more sympathetic towards Chris due to his severe autism and he thinks that what the trolls did to him was incredibly messed up (especially Julie and stalking him in his church). It's kinda interesting because we talk about how screwed up Chris is, but some of the stuff the trolls did, even outside Julie, was kinda fucked too.

 

[Fapcop]

I got my older sibling, who barely knew about Chris, to start watching this series. He's around episode 10. He's a lot more sympathetic towards Chris due to his severe autism and he thinks that what the trolls did to him was incredibly messed up (especially Julie and stalking him in his church). It's kinda interesting because we talk about how screwed up Chris is, but some of the stuff the trolls did, even outside Julie, was kinda fucked too.

It helps to keep it into perspective. Basically all of the trolling could have been avoided by Chris turning off the computer and/or not insisting he’s an internet celebrity worthy of worship.

Bob never cared for the lovequest, even expressed disdain for it when it was brought up in a christmas video.

https://sonichu.com/cwcki/ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004

He was just supportive of his tard son, because that's what people do for their loved ones whether they think they'll be successful or not.

Shiit, that video always brings up the feels in me.

Chris once again proving what a selfish prick he is, by getting his 80 year old dad a VHS copy of a kids DVD.

Barb and Bob both seem so depressed. It’s Christmas, and they’re spending it with Chris: The child that they had so many hopes for.

And they both know that they failed.

They both know that Chris will never be anything more than this: A grown man with the mentality of a ten year old.

And Chris of course is totally oblivious to the downcast mood, their sadness or even Bob’s sigh and “phooey” when he was reading about the lovequest.

He just sits there babbling on about toys and girlfriends and “ittle bittle hamstuhs”.

 

[Don Homer]

Shiit, that video always brings up the feels in me.

Chris once again proving what a selfish prick he is, by getting his 80 year old dad a VHS copy of a kids DVD.

Barb and Bob both seem so depressed. It’s Christmas, and they’re spending it with Chris: The child that they had so many hopes for.

And they both know that they failed.

They both know that Chris will never be anything more than this: A grown man with the mentality of a ten year old.

And Chris of course is totally oblivious to the downcast mood, their sadness or even Bob’s sigh and “phooey” when he was reading about the lovequest.

He just sits there babbling on about toys and girlfriends and “ittle bittle hamstuhs”.

Easily top three if not the most depressing part of the whole Chris Chan Saga.

 

[troon patrol]

Good god that Christmas video... Christmas is clearly just a second Birthday to Chris. Only thing missing is a narration: "It was at this point and time Bob and Barb had realized they made a terrible mistake."

 

[Heckler1]

Good god that Christmas video... Christmas is clearly just a second Birthday to Chris. Only thing missing is a narration: "It was at this point and time Bob and Barb had realized they made a terrible mistake."

Getting stuff is very important to Chris, and historically he seems to feel entitled to getting whatever he wants, whenever he wants. People are just vehicles for him to get the things he wants, and he does not actually value them in any meaningful way. In large part I think it is due to Chris not really being socialized properly and spending all his time surrounded by, and bonding too "stuff".

 

[naught]

Getting stuff is very important to Chris, and historically he seems to feel entitled to getting whatever he wants, whenever he wants. People are just vehicles for him to get the things he wants, and he does not actually value them in any meaningful way. In large part I think it is due to Chris not really being socialized properly and spending all his time surrounded by, and bonding too "stuff".

Exactly, toys for speaking.
Brand loyalty and likely a comforting but unhealthy coping mechanism.
Pic related.

 

[Fapcop]

Getting stuff is very important to Chris, and historically he seems to feel entitled to getting whatever he wants, whenever he wants. People are just vehicles for him to get the things he wants, and he does not actually value them in any meaningful way. In large part I think it is due to Chris not really being socialized properly and spending all his time surrounded by, and bonding too "stuff".

True. Look at Chris’s quote right in the beginning:

”We enter Christmas Day in my bedroom of wonderous... fun. 'Cause we have plenty of stuff around the house.”

The more stuff the better! Stuff is Christmas, stuff is fun! Stuff is better than people.

You can’t help but wonder what might have been if Chris has better parents. Not even talking about forcing him to play with other kids (though that surely would have been beneficial) but just curbing his entitlement.

By not getting him every console imaginable, for example. Or even better: “You want a new Sonic game Chris? Great, here is a list of chores you need to do every day for a month, then you might get it. If you don’t do a halfassed job!

Good god that Christmas video... Christmas is clearly just a second Birthday to Chris. Only thing missing is a narration: "It was at this point and time Bob and Barb had realized they made a terrible mistake."

At some point, whether in your late teens or early 20ies, your attitude to Christmas changes. It’s no longer about just getting stuff, but about giving.

Chris clearly never got to that point, as this video show. Christmas is for him is just a vehicle for getting stuff. Just like people.

Exactly, toys for speaking.
Brand loyalty and likely a comforting but unhealthy coping mechanism.
Pic related.
View attachment 1530129

Can’t help but wonder what would have happened with Chris if I had a time machine, gotten into that Sonic costume, and kicked Chris in the balls as he raised his arms in celebration.

 

[CwChalk]

Exactly, toys for speaking.
Brand loyalty and likely a comforting but unhealthy coping mechanism.
Pic related.
View attachment 1530129

Heh, he idolizes Sonic so much he even took on his body shape!

His materialism likely ties in with his sense of identity as well. The Sonichu medallion seems to exemplify this, he made a pretty big deal about Liquid's paper medallion specifically and felt like he had to point out that Sammy's medallion was fake in the comics. I don't know if it's a autism thing, or if it is somehow part of his dysphoria. His clothes seem related to the matter, he wears so many accessories these days.

 

[Thumb Butler]

His materialism is closely linked to his autism and American upbringing. Ads everywhere, buy this new shit, watch that new shit. Consume, now, now, now.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Exactly, toys for speaking.
Brand loyalty and likely a comforting but unhealthy coping mechanism.
Pic related.
View attachment 1530129

Imagine if Sonic's arms were blue, Chris would cry in the corner.

 

[Fapcop]

Heh, he idolizes Sonic so much he even took on his body shape!

His materialism likely ties in with his sense of identity as well. The Sonichu medallion seems to exemplify this, he made a pretty big deal about Liquid's paper medallion specifically and felt like he had to point out that Sammy's medallion was fake in the comics. I don't know if it's a autism thing, or if it is somehow part of his dysphoria. His clothes seem related to the matter, he wears so many accessories these days.

His accessories seem to be tied both into his autism (uncomfortable sensations and fidgeting) and a sense of identity.

You knew Chris was True and Honest because he was wearing the medallion. You were supposed to know the Brown shirted imposter wasn’t, since he was wearing a paper medallion.

I think it’s all tied into Chris’s face blindness to a certain extent. Other people’s faces are a blur to Chris, so he found something else to differentiate people by.

Chris’s brand loyalty is probably a mix of shitty parenting and his autism: Chris is good, Chris uses Axe, therefore Axe is good. Chris is used to commercials from TV, so therefore there must be commercials in his comics.

Toys and things ultimately became how Chris relates to the world. Bob was old, Barb was a bitch, so they kept buying him shit. (And Bob probably associates computers and consoles with Chris “getting better” since this was something he naturally picked up.)

By the time they realized they had raised a materialistic manchild, it was already too late.

His materialism is closely linked to his autism and American upbringing. Ads everywhere, buy this new shit, watch that new shit. Consume, now, now, now.

So you’re saying that if Chris had been born in the UK, he would have grown up to be one of those trainspotting autists, standing on overpasses mumbling: “Th-that’s the 6.50 Express to eh *stresssigh* Luton!”

(Kinda makes you wonder what USSR Chris-Chan would have been like!)

As for Chris being a particular American phenomenon, I dunno.

Autism finds a way, no matter where the person is born.

It might not have been Sonic, but it would have been something else. (Hey, LEGO is Danish!) Ads are a fact of life everywhere, even in North Korea these days. There may be less crappy cartoons in other countries, but they’re there and Chris would have found something else to cling on to.


EDIT: Fuck, I’m really curious to see an artist impression of USSR Chri-Chan now!

 

[naught]

His materialism is closely linked to his autism and American upbringing. Ads everywhere, buy this new shit, watch that new shit. Consume, now, now, now.

Exactly, he's a product of 1980's consumer culture. But his tism possible dysphoria and magical thinking makes it worse.
It's as if each piece is needed or else he'll fall apart and sulk.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Exactly, he's a product of 1980's consumer culture. But his tism possible dysphoria and magical thinking makes it worse.
It's as if each piece is needed or else he'll fall apart and sulk.

You're not wrong. Look at his LEGO collection. He needs to buy certain parts. I know how he'll act if he doesn't get what he wants.

 

[Troon Carey]

Honestly, Chris is/was such a vortex of autism, stupidity and insanity, that no other cows really come close.

The only thing more autistic and stupid than Chris is the faggots pulling his strings now and their weird wars over who gets to sniff Chris' Bussie first.

 

[Fapcop]

The only thing more autistic and stupid than Chris is the faggots pulling his strings now and their weird wars over who gets to sniff Chris' Bussie first.

Agreed.

Unlike Chris however, there are no lulz to get from them.

Chris was a premium pedigree lolcow that you could milk for days back in his prime, and still delivers even today every now and then.

In comparison, these faggots just need to be sent to the glue factory.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

Chris clearly never got to that point, as this video shows. Christmas for him is just a vehicle for getting stuff. Just like people.

Hey, now don't be unfair! He gave Bob a choice of Fraggle Rock on DVD or VHS! (And ensured that Bob took the home-made copy, keeping the presumed shop-bought version for himself.) He gave Barb a Hamtaro! (Which he seems to have bought simply because it was the last item on the shelf he was looking at.) And he gave them both a snowglobe! (With a drawing of himself and Sonichu in it, just to remind Bob and Barb who Christmas is really about.)

That bit with Barb 'asleep...in the dark area' still gives me the creeps. Like she's chained up in the basement and being thrown the occasional Q-Sand when anyone else remembers.

Oh, and the fact that Chris considers Transformers and that fucking musical Snoopy doghouse (how proud he is of that one!) are marvellous presents for a man in his early 20s. And the way that his delusions are already in full force, as he goes on about how 'creative' his Crayola'd star of himself and Sonichu is, and how 'Pokemon are hanging about'. Not to mention his seriously entertaining the idea of Father Christmas bringing him a boyfriend-free girl.

Yeah, you're right. This is quite probably the Worst Christmas Ever. Not that Chris sees that.

 

[Fapcop]

Oh, and the fact that Chris considers Transformers and that fucking musical Snoopy doghouse (how proud he is of that one!) are marvellous presents for a man in his early 20s.

Well now, I wouldn’t be a proper Christorian if I didnt correct the slight mistake in your post...

The Autobot Chris pulled out wasn’t for himself. It was a present for Barb and Bob (lol! Generosity, kindness and consideration of others have always been hallmarks of Chris!)

One might have tolerated it if a six year old tried to pull that crap, and given him a kind rebuke afterwards.

But the fact that Barb and Bob put up with Chris “gifting them” an autobot that was obviously only for himself, seems to indicate that they had given up on him a looong time ago, and were happy as long as he was capable of wiping his own ass and not set shit on fire.

This part makes me LOL every time btw:

”And a Christmas present that was supposed to be for the girlfriend that Santa brought, but unfortunately... she didn't show.

Wonder what was in the present? And more importantly, how did Chris expect Santa to bring him a GF? A tied up, unconscious teenager lying under his tree?