Chris' thought process

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Muncie Anderson said:
"Also, you don't know about da secks a-as much as I do, so you really should w-watch more pornograffiti. It's edumacational."
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I've said it elsewhere, but this is one time when Chris's naïveté is immeasurable. Chris, then a virgin, explaining sex to someone who'd actually had it.

Chris says some absolutely dumbass things, but his ideas about sex are the stupidest of the stupid.
 
ChurchOfGodBear said:
Chris says some absolutely dumbass things, but his ideas about sex are the stupidest of the stupid.
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Of all his peculiar beliefs about sex, his persistent lesbian fantasies stand out. He doesn't seem to get that lesbians, by definition, won't have sex with him.

It's probably because Chris trying to shore up his heterosexual bona fides, not only by thoroughly rejecting the male sex, but by buying into the fetishizing of lesbianism in his porn and even the media at large.
 
Henry Bemis said:
Of all his peculiar beliefs about sex, his persistent lesbian fantasies stand out. He doesn't seem to get that lesbians, by definition, won't have sex with him.

It's probably because Chris trying to shore up his heterosexual bona fides, not only by thoroughly rejecting the male sex, but by buying into the fetishizing of lesbianism in his porn and even the media at large.
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He thinks he can bend the rules because he thinks he's kinda like a girl.
 
Marvin said:
He thinks he can bend the rules because he thinks he's kinda like a girl.
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Chris doesn't think these things through with any rigor. He doesn't have a logical mind. He probably wouldn't be a good chess player, and Spock would look at him with disgust. And he is naive. That's all people really need to know.
 
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Holdek said:
Chris doesn't think these things through with any rigor. He doesn't have a logical mind. He probably wouldn't do well at chess, and Spock would look at him with disgust. And he is naive. That's all people really need to know.
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Reminds me of this comic i love, with random dirty/ridicilous sex jokes and so on.
Anyway...
An old couple (in their 80's or something) are walking through the park, when suddenly the old man freezes and shouts: "FUCK!"
The old woman asks: "What is it, Harold?"
The old man replies: - "I fucking forgot to make a career!"

(:_(
 
Henry Bemis said:
Of all his peculiar beliefs about sex, his persistent lesbian fantasies stand out. He doesn't seem to get that lesbians, by definition, won't have sex with him.
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The A-loggy argument would be that no one's going to have sex with him, so the whole thing's academic. Alternatively, it could be that Chris simply doesn't think lesbianism is a set-in-stone thing. There are plenty of guys out there who think that all lesbians need is a REAL MAN to set them straight, and Chris' views on sexuality are distinctly muddled anyway.

The thing about Chris' mode of thought that always gets me is his attempts to out-smart people. His impenetrable disguise as Junior Jenkins, for instance. Or the time he thought he could fool someone (Jackie?) into thinking he'd cleaned his room by just moving the crap aside and filming a tiny area of floor. Or his mysterious belief that simply spelling something backwards is some impenetrable cipher. Not to mention all the times he's pretended to be someone else. I mean, Christ, no wonder he identifies with Peter Griffin.

In fact, in general, let's just say anything where his arrogance overshoots his intelligence, which was tested TO THE MAX in the Mailbags.
 
Holdek said:
Chris doesn't think these things through with any rigor. He doesn't have a logical mind. He probably wouldn't be a good chess player, and Spock would look at him with disgust. And he is naive. That's all people really need to know.
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Actually his mind is logical. Very logical... but only abiding to his own rules. 3 dates... Heart level... He can't understand how the world truly works, so he thinks everything is arbitrary.
When it comes to all the lesbian stuff, he just bends the rules - he has a penchant for this, related to his impressive ability to doublethink. Remember the Liquid challenges? He bent every rule like his duck to his own favor, in a way that only he certainly would win this for sure. But the most hilarious thing is, even if he does bend the rules to ensure a 100% guaranteed victory, he still fails.
Absinthe said:
"People will watch a 4hr DVD about my life."

And yet, and yet - he was actually correct about this one...
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Also this - "I'm gonna shill this DVD on every occasion so everyone knows about it... but this DVD is not up for sale!"
 
Henry Bemis said:
Of all his peculiar beliefs about sex, his persistent lesbian fantasies stand out. He doesn't seem to get that lesbians, by definition, won't have sex with him.

It's probably because Chris trying to shore up his heterosexual bona fides, not only by thoroughly rejecting the male sex, but by buying into the fetishizing of lesbianism in his porn and even the media at large.
Click to expand...

A lot of guys find lesbians and lesbian porn hot. There are a lot of reasons. Probably the most basic one is that if a straight guy is watching porn with an attractive woman in it with a second person, would he rather the second person be another attractive woman, or a man he is not attracted to?

I'll cut Chris some slack for this perfectly normal fantasy, if not for his slightly clumsy way of letting the whole world know about it.

DrTremolo said:
Actually his mind is logical. Very logical... but only abiding to his own rules. 3 dates... Heart level... He can't understand how the world truly works, so he thinks everything is arbitrary.
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I think that's it. It is not so much that Chris views of sex are illogical or inconsistent, it is that all of our views are, if not illogical, at least based on fairly random and unpredictable attractions and emotions, and Chris can't really understand that.

As you say, the 3 date thing is the perfect example of it. If you ask most people when they would first have sex with someone they were dating they would shrug and say "Whenever it feels right". To most of us, that is perfectly obvious, but in a way it is an unsatisfactory answer. Suppose you were an alien during a documentary on human sexual habits. You would say "What the hell, sometimes 2 people have sex a couple hours after meeting, sometimes they wait for months? How do I unify these two?". Similarly, suppose you are Chris, who doesn't quite understand how other people's brains work. You are similarly stumped until you find the "three-dates" gudeline. You stick to that because it is a solid thing you can wrap your mind around.

A lot of Chris views on sex and dating are like that. 'X good, Y bad. We will do A then B then C. I saw this person do that on this TV show and it worked out for him, so I will try to copy that". It is probably not quite right to call that illogical. Overly logical might be a better description, although I don't deny the logical flaws and inconsistencies.
 
DrTremolo said:
Actually his mind is logical. Very logical... but only abiding to his own rules. 3 dates... Heart level... He can't understand how the world truly works, so he thinks everything is arbitrary.
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timtommy said:
I think that's it. It is not so much that Chris views of sex are illogical or inconsistent, it is that all of our views are, if not illogical, at least based on fairly random and unpredictable attractions and emotions, and Chris can't really understand that.

As you say, the 3 date thing is the perfect example of it. If you ask most people when they would first have sex with someone they were dating they would shrug and say "Whenever it feels right". To most of us, that is perfectly obvious, but in a way it is an unsatisfactory answer. Suppose you were an alien during a documentary on human sexual habits. You would say "What the hell, sometimes 2 people have sex a couple hours after meeting, sometimes they wait for months? How do I unify these two?". Similarly, suppose you are Chris, who doesn't quite understand how other people's brains work. You are similarly stumped until you find the "three-dates" gudeline. You stick to that because it is a solid thing you can wrap your mind around.

A lot of Chris views on sex and dating are like that. 'X good, Y bad. We will do A then B then C. I saw this person do that on this TV show and it worked out for him, so I will try to copy that". It is probably not quite right to call that illogical. Overly logical might be a better description, although I don't deny the logical flaws and inconsistencies.
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Chris is frequently complaining about how confused he is, and about how his mind goes blank, and that's because he doesn't have a logical thinking process that he can use to assess the world around him with an orderly understanding. And, that ultimately results in stress.
512px-SchuComic7P40.jpg

He may have some internal consistencies, but I wouldn't describe them as "logical" in the common sense of the word.
 
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Holdek said:
Chris is frequently complaining about how confused he is, and about how his mind goes blank, and that's because he doesn't have a logical thinking process that he can use to assess the world around him with an orderly understanding. And, that ultimately results in stress.
512px-SchuComic7P40.jpg

He may have some internal consistencies, but I wouldn't describe them as "logical" in the common sense of the word.
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His logic is as twisted as his legs and waist in that drawing.
 
Holdek said:
Chris is frequently complaining about how confused he is, and about how his mind goes blank, and that's because he doesn't have a logical thinking process that he can use to assess the world around him with an orderly understanding. And, that ultimately results in stress.

He may have some internal consistencies, but I wouldn't describe them as "logical" in the common sense of the word.
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What I meant was, he seems overwhelmed with the uncertainty of dating/sex, so he had to make a list of "rules" to enforce certainty. While his "logic" is usually bad logic, he is trying to impose logic on an illogical situation.
He reminds me of Kang trying to seduce Marge in the Simpsons.
 
The way I look at it he's just like a retarded Vulcan who's never grasped the Vulcan philosophy.
He still has the Vulcan trait of being overly logical, but when things don't go his way (which is pretty much all the time), he gets into tard rage mode and because he's so stupid his logic is pretty warped to say the least.
 
DrTremolo said:
The way I look at it he's just like a retarded Vulcan who's never grasped the Vulcan philosophy.
He still has the Vulcan trait of being overly logical, but when things don't go his way (which is pretty much all the time), he gets into tard rage mode and because he's so stupid his logic is pretty warped to say the least.
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Vulcan 'Tard.jpg
 
I've always thought it was interesting that he views his dreams as god-given. Also that he justifies things in his life based on dreams that take place in his autistic mind.

Don't forget the fact that he has autism and is lucky enough to be someone who is fully aware of it. However, he doesn't step aside and question himself that his viewpoints or opinions may be flawed as a result of his autism. His autism keeps him from doing that. Welcome to the Chris-loop.
 
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"I'M THE MOST WONDERFUL AND AMAZING MAN TO EVER WALK THE PLANET!!!"
"Chris, you're lazy, stupid, greedy, hateful, disrespectful, and smelly."
"THAT'S TRUE!!!"
"So, these are all significant character flaws, any and all of which make people not like you. So what does that mean?"
"I'M THE MOST WONDERFUL AND AMAZING MAN TO EVER WALK THE PLANET!!!"
 
"I have little to no understanding of how human sexuality works, so to keep from catching teh ghey, I will stare at this poster of Sailor Moon until the sweet temptation of man sex has passed."
 
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