Lovequest Chris's Strap-On

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Once again, Chris has bought a toy that's never going to be shared with anyone else.

 

[Stud2Stud]

I just can't click on the link...

Something's man was not meant to know. I belive Fattys sex life is such knowledge.

Oh come on... just open it. What's the worst that could happen?

Spoiler

 

[just some jerk]

God I hope that's his arm in the second picture.

well at least it doesn't appear to be blue

 

[Poor Choices]

It has to be his arm. Chris is fat, but not that fat. By using the process of elimination, you get arm.

Chris is pear shaped with skinny arms, moobs, a gut in the middle, and a lack of ass. That is most definitely a fat roll. Also the camera angle and human physiology would make it impossible to take a picture of his arm in that position.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I can't even began to guess why Chris would need to have this.

Because legos don't stay together well enough.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Also the camera angle and human physiology would make in impossible to take a picture of his arm in that position.

Maybe he moved the PS3 and camera into the bathroom to take these pics XD

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I can't even began to guess why Chris would need to have this.

Well, you know when you have a problem, and you start thinking about it, and you come up with all sorts of stupid and impractical solutions before thinking of one that works? Chris stops after the first stupid and impractical solution.

 

[Le Bateleur]

However he took the pics, I do like the vignetting on the side view. Adds so much class.

 

[InterestedParty]

My avatar was my reaction.

I did my crying inside.

 

[Sonitistic]

Why.

Why.

 

[jemas42]

My reaction:

Y'know he's explained the reasons why he has this...the stupid, stupid reasons, but what I have to wonder is why did he choose to share these pictures with someone he's never been intimate with and has known less than 6 months. And who hasn't responded to his texts in weeks.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

I can't even began to guess why Chris would need to have this.

There are so many dick-tucking products available at every price point. It seems very Chris to eschew the wealth of existing options and instead half-ass some homemade contraption (that may actually be injurious!)

I really do wonder if Chris tried to make something out of LEGO and/or Crayola Model Magic first, though.

 

[timtommy]

Wait.

I have never really been around strap-ons. Can someone confirm if my understanding is correct?

Chris has a penis. He bought a strap on, which is basically a fake penis. He places this fake penis over top of his real penis. He hopes that he will use it to penetrate a woman. This woman will have the sensation of being penetrated. Chris however will forgo the pleasurable sensations of intercourse and instead have very little sensation. In fact, he better not get stimulated, because he has strapped something over his penis. If he started getting erect, it would either be very painful or the strap-on would be pushed out of the way.

Basically, Chris is a man, pretending to be a woman, pretending to be a man. He is a man who has a penis, pretending to be a woman who doesn't have a penis but uses a fake one. Instead of just cutting out the middle man and using the original penis.

Edit: Apparently my understanding was wrong, and Chris decided to buy a fake penis, in order to hide his real penis and then remove the fake penis part. So I guess he is down two penises. Thanks for the correction and apologies for the mistake!

 

[MrsFrizzle]

Chris took the dildo piece off the strap-on and just uses the harness as a penis girdle. A penis girdle Chris apparently wears most of the time.

 

[Lalala]

Waiting for the day a strap from his homemade dick hammock gets caught on his unclit, imagining a face kinda like this;

 

[Male Idiot]

Wait.

I have never really been around strap-ons. Can someone confirm if my understanding is correct?

Chris has a penis. He bought a strap on, which is basically a fake penis. He places this fake penis over top of his real penis. He hopes that he will use it to penetrate a woman. This woman will have the sensation of being penetrated. Chris however will forgo the pleasurable sensations of intercourse and instead have very little sensation. In fact, he better not get stimulated, because he has strapped something over his penis. If he started getting erect, it would either be very painful or the strap-on would be pushed out of the way.

Basically, Chris is a man, pretending to be a woman, pretending to be a man. He is a man who has a penis, pretending to be a woman who doesn't have a penis but uses a fake one. Instead of just cutting out the middle man and using the original penis.

From what I can theorise, he is using it to hide his penis and have a smoother crotch. He took off the fake penis part.

 

[Someone in a Tree]

Chris believes that Renee is bisexual, right? My fear is that he keeps sending these pics because he's trying to woo her, showing her that he's the best of both worlds in the sack since he can both scissor and penetrate. It's shit like this that makes me think there should be a Date Ed for him to take.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I wish this surprised me.

 

[Ho Mo for Women]

For what purpose. Jesus Christ, I don't even know what did he think when he was buying that.

I don't think he was thinking at all. I mean, a re-purposed strap-on to hold in his duck? Where did he get that idea? On the rare occasion Chris does have an original idea like this, it's always pointless and bizarre, and makes sense only to Chris.

 

[Pikonic]

That can't be good for his balls. Like "Crystal now literally has zero chance" not good for his balls.