Clerks 3 - Starring DSPs not so retarded cousin and Rosario Dawson

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Internet War Criminal said:
After seeing the trailer.... I'm actually gonna see it.

Now, I fully expect it to suck, but the fact that in 2 minutes of trailer there's not a single CURRENT YEAR bait sold it to me.

I loved Clerks 2, in some ways I thought it was better than Clerks 1 even if nowhere near iconic, I wanted Clerks 3 for a few years until it became clear that Kevin Smith had nothing left to say directing and writing-wise, but eh, for old time's sake. It's like going to a 25 year reunion or something. You know it's gonna be fat and most people are just gonna be old and sad, and the same shitty jokes and callbacks, but whatever, why not get drunk, bite the bullet and go anyway, what's the worst thing that could happen?
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Kind of in the same boat. Clerks II was more or less the capstone of Smith's "good" work. We get to see the characters that started it all end in a good place and happy. Still going to see it because the trailer didn't make me hate it like the Jay and Silent Bob reboot movie did.
 
Yeah, that's a good way to put it. In a sense, if Kevin Smith had never made a single movie afterwards, his reputation would be much higher, he'd basically be seen as an indie movie deity of some sort, and not the laughing stock he turned into.

Also, great fucking use of 1979.
 
So the plot of this movie is basically that Clerks. cartoon movie that never got made.

Also that joke about the original ending of clerks was funny.
 
The Jay and Silent Bob reboot movie sucked ass, but at least it doesn't seem like Kevin shoved his no-talent daughter into this one, so it'll be marginally better. I'm willing to give it a go, but I'm not expecting it to be that good. I am interested in seeing what Dante and Randall have been getting up to, and I hope Kevin keeps the DUDE WEED jokes to a minimum
 
Jar-Jar Fanboy said:
The Jay and Silent Bob reboot movie sucked ass, but at least it doesn't seem like Kevin shoved his no-talent daughter into this one, so it'll be marginally better. I'm willing to give it a go, but I'm not expecting it to be that good. I am interested in seeing what Dante and Randall have been getting up to, and I hope Kevin keeps the DUDE WEED jokes to a minimum
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From the looks of the trailer they bought the video store and turned it into a Vape shop that sells CBD/THC stuff, so probably plenty of weed shit in every scene they are in.
 
I won't be paying to see this, that's for certain.
Of all the Kevin Smith movies I've seen I would say Clerks is my favorite. Dogma is okay. Chasing Amy is hugely overrated.
 
Jar-Jar Fanboy said:
The Jay and Silent Bob reboot movie sucked ass, but at least it doesn't seem like Kevin shoved his no-talent daughter into this one, so it'll be marginally better. I'm willing to give it a go, but I'm not expecting it to be that good. I am interested in seeing what Dante and Randall have been getting up to, and I hope Kevin keeps the DUDE WEED jokes to a minimum
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Is his daughter really that bad? I only saw her in Clerks 2 but I know she's kind of fat and ugly like her dad was/is.
 
37?!

I have hopes for this, Jeff Anderson, the best actor in both movies by a mile, passed on 2 until he got a decent enough script after fears of it being redundant and shitty enough to ruin the legacy of the first. People shit on 2 a lot but I feel like it's a solid continuation of a wagie story and I really dug it. Even if 3 is "bad", I'm leaning on the idea of it bombing because of a swing and a miss story than J&SB Reboot's "REMEMBER THING?!" shit. I feel like the bulk of the "meta" shit in the trailer is just trailerbait and it'll leaning more on the Randall shit, again like 2 did.
 
So I just rewatched Clerks II and, uh...

Dante is a scumbag, straight up. Like, for real. He's going out with a girl who loves him, offers him upward mobility, gets him a better job, believes in him and how does he thank her? Just straight up cheats on her. Yeah, sure, he says he loves Becca, but at the end of the day he cheated on his fiancee, was blissfully moving to Florida and was gonna spend the rest of his life with her. It's not like he's so in love with Becca that he wanted to stay in NJ, the only reason why he decided to stay behind in the first place is because he wants to raise the child now that he's presented the opportunity. Even after he's caught he goes 'Nah fuck all of you I'm still moving to Florida'.

We literally have no reason to hate Emma and there are no signs that she's a bitch except for the fact she chose a date for the wedding without consulting him, but we know Dante is an indecisive loser. At the end of the day, he's replacing a woman who is gonna make all of his decisions for another woman who is clearly gonna make his decisions for him.

"She likes you who for you who are" isn't a positive thing when you're an aimless loser who's 32 and fucking works flipping burgers.

Emma didn't do anything wrong.


I don't know if it's just getting older, or the whole 'throw your life away for ~love~' has lost its charm to me, but it seems like fucking bullshit. I still enjoyed the movie, but yeah now my feeling afterwards is fuck Dante he doesn't deserve that happy ending at all.
 
Gravityqueen4life said:
i thought Kevin Smith hated his old work and called everyone who still liked it retards?

dosent help the guy is such an asshole.
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It's hugbox syndrome. Smith has failed at every attempt to branch out beyond the Clerksverse and the backlash against his rape of the MOTU franchise has probably intensified this mightily since Smith probably thought he'd overpower and steamroll all the critics of his rape of the franchise but had to deal with the MOTU fandom refusing to roll over and basically punish him in a way that he had not felt since Jersey Girl flopped.

Doing another Clerks film lets Smith retreat to his hugbox and in theory, churn out another film that critics will praise and make people forget about his long string of flops and finance the next round of flops.
 
Chocolate Wombat said:
Is it just me or has Rosario Dawson aged horribly? She looks like someone gave a bunch of growth hormones to a goblin.
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Isn't she married to famed closet homosexual and quisling democrat politician Corey Booker?

Internet War Criminal said:
So I just rewatched Clerks II and, uh...

Dante is a scumbag, straight up. Like, for real. He's going out with a girl who loves him, offers him upward mobility, gets him a better job, believes in him and how does he thank her? Just straight up cheats on her. Yeah, sure, he says he loves Becca, but at the end of the day he cheated on his fiancee, was blissfully moving to Florida and was gonna spend the rest of his life with her. It's not like he's so in love with Becca that he wanted to stay in NJ, the only reason why he decided to stay behind in the first place is because he wants to raise the child now that he's presented the opportunity. Even after he's caught he goes 'Nah fuck all of you I'm still moving to Florida'.

We literally have no reason to hate Emma and there are no signs that she's a bitch except for the fact she chose a date for the wedding without consulting him, but we know Dante is an indecisive loser. At the end of the day, he's replacing a woman who is gonna make all of his decisions for another woman who is clearly gonna make his decisions for him.

"She likes you who for you who are" isn't a positive thing when you're an aimless loser who's 32 and fucking works flipping burgers.

Emma didn't do anything wrong.


I don't know if it's just getting older, or the whole 'throw your life away for ~love~' has lost its charm to me, but it seems like fucking bullshit. I still enjoyed the movie, but yeah now my feeling afterwards is fuck Dante he doesn't deserve that happy ending at all.
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As bad as Dante can be, Randall is a thousand times worse and you can probably attribute a lot of Dante's worst elements to Randall being a cancerous tumor that uses his tight psychological grip on Dante to egg on all of Dante's worst traits because watching Dante suffer and have zero choice but to stay with Randall.

Randall's "I hate everything" speech in Clerks 2, which Smith wrote to try and illicit sympathy for Randall manipulating shit to make Randall dump his fiance for Dawson's character (who Randall will prefer because he can manipulate her better to keep Dante from fully leaving Randall's orbit like the other woman was going to) just made me despise Randall to the point of flames on the side of my face. He's pure evil and only cares about keeping Dante around because he's his torture pet and any normal person who encountered Randall wouldn't put up with his shit and refuse to have anything to do with him after spending five minutes with him.
 
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MirrorNoir said:
It's hugbox syndrome. Smith has failed at every attempt to branch out beyond the Clerksverse and the backlash against his rape of the MOTU franchise has probably intensified this mightily since Smith probably thought he'd overpower and steamroll all the critics of his rape of the franchise but had to deal with the MOTU fandom refusing to roll over and basically punish him in a way that he had not felt since Jersey Girl flopped.

Doing another Clerks film lets Smith retreat to his hugbox and in theory, churn out another film that critics will praise and make people forget about his long string of flops and finance the next round of flops.
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If you've ever watched his show Comic Book Men you would get the gist of his hatred of the common man, apparently it was a podcast before that but I'm not autistic enough to listen to that. Anyways gaze upon the visage of who he based Randall Graves on.
220px-10.12.12WaltFlanaganByLuigiNovi1.jpg
 
It's great Kevin Smith is still able to do what he wants to do but doesn't change the fact his movies now are some of the worst ones of the years they come out.
 
Internet War Criminal said:
Yeah, that's a good way to put it. In a sense, if Kevin Smith had never made a single movie afterwards, his reputation would be much higher, he'd basically be seen as an indie movie deity of some sort, and not the laughing stock he turned into.

Also, great fucking use of 1979.
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Never forget there was that brief moment in the 90's where people considered Kevin Smith and Quinten Tarantino equals with an equal trajectory in Hollywood.
 
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