Clerks 3 - Starring DSPs not so retarded cousin and Rosario Dawson

[Caesare]

they may "look great" but they never look better than they did 15 years ago. even if they stop the shit food, cigs, or booze at 26, they looked better as a 25 year old degen then as a 40 year old.

Well yeah, sure. I agree that people tend to look better, at least physically, when they're 18-20 than when they're 40. Much easier to keep fit and trim at that age.

You don't even have to really do anything special to stay slim when you're 20. Then when you turn 40, a few bad meals can make a person's weight shoot up in a couple of days.

 

[Kyria the Great]

I honestly believe doing a Clerks 3 is an absolutely terrible idea. Kevin Smith's last truly good movie in my honest opinion was Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back with all other works lacking in some capacity. Clerks is one of my favorite comedies given how subdued it is and allows the honestly believable day of an underachieving retail employee play out in a way that's funny and quite relatable. Clerks 2 while having some funny scenes, just tries way too hard to be a conventional comedy and it almost seems like Kevin Smith was riding the "Shock Comedy" train of the early to mid 00's with several jokes.

 

[TVB]

While I might still defend Clerks 2 as its own merit, I still think Smith has never been relevant since the early 2000s and has been struggling to stay relevant after 2010. Since then, he's been very tribal with his nerd culture and had ruined his IQ (let alone his career).

 

[Syaoran Li]

Tusk was a strange experiment for Smith. The movie as a whole was dumb, but the process of seeing it go to draft on a podcast then actually get made with a budget more than 3 pieces of lint and a rail of coke was fascinating. Also for such a mediocre movie, most of the actors weren't bad in it given what they had to work with.

I've honestly wondered sometimes if the only reason Tusk got made was to be a "Springtime for Hitler"-esque scam to get funding for the original version of Clerks III and to get the Weinsteins off his ass, but then he started believing his own grift partway through production.

 

[Sex Cannon Lupa]

wtf @Kramer on the phone? That pasty nigga looks awful because he's 50 lbs overweight, not because he's 40.

Rosario looks the same but she looked old and busted in the last one. Her feet in that toenail painting scene almost made me retch.

 

[feral cat #6385]

I used to be a huge fan of Kevin Smith. His work has not held up particularly well for me. But for old time's sake I'll give it a shot.

 

[TVB]

I might pirate this just to shit on it. I gave up watching anything from Kevin Smith following after my 2015 Netflix experience of watching his godawful Jay & Silent Bob animated movie.

 

[marvlouslie]

You guys notice since Kevin lost the weight, he's become more of a bitch?

 

[winterfag]

He legitimately looked way better when he was fat. Obv it's good for his sake that he lost a lot of weight but it honestly just made him look more unhealthy than before

 

[feral cat #6385]

You guys notice since Kevin lost the weight, he's become more of a bitch?

He is more soy than man now.

 

[TVB]

You guys notice since Kevin lost the weight, he's become more of a bitch?

Don't forget about his face. He looks drugged.

 

[marvlouslie]

Don't forget about his face. He looks drugged.

Dude looks tired all the time.

 

[Wesley Tailpipe the Third]

I have the cartoon on dvd for some reason lol it’s sitting in a box somewhere. Really weird piece of media.

The commentary is amazing.

Is it just me or has Rosario Dawson aged horribly? She looks like someone gave a bunch of growth hormones to a goblin.

She hit the Puerto Rican wall, but even in her prime she was one of those women who look hot from certain angles or in certain lighting, but look like Quasimodo otherwise.

Dante's girlfriend in the first film has had to have sucked over 9000 dicks by now.

In a row?

 

[TVB]

Dude looks tired all the time.

It explains why he's just too lazy to come up with something good.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

“Ohmygod bear is driving how can that beeee?”

 

[TVB]

“Ohmygod bear is driving how can that beeee?”

Back when Kevin had soul. His soul left long ago.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

One thing most can agree on is that scenes like this will never be in Clerks 3. There’s just something amusing, though sweet, about two guys just having fun listening to a classic old song but with horses.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=U_jiHb7THB0
One thing most can agree on is that scenes like this will never be in Clerks 3. There’s just something amusing, though sweet, about two guys just having fun listening to a classic old song but with horses.

You think that's the scene that would never be in Clerks 3?

Nigga, it's THAT scene that would never, ever, in no fucking way whatsoever, be in Clerks 3:

He fucking drops nigger like 5 times in a row, and a list of other slurs and calls it cute and shit.

I really wouldn't be surprised if around Clerks 3's release people make a campaign to cancel Kevin Smith and he goes out on his knees apologizing for the scene saying he never should have filmed it.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

You think that's the scene that would never be in Clerks 3?

Nigga, it's THAT scene that would never, ever, in no fucking way whatsoever, be in Clerks 3:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=IYITxGniww4
He fucking drops nigger like 5 times in a row, and a list of other slurs and calls it cute and shit.

I really wouldn't be surprised if around Clerks 3's release people make a campaign to cancel Kevin Smith and he goes out on his knees apologizing for the scene saying he never should have filmed it.

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Clerks 2, and even compared to the current comedies today (with the exception of an angry Dave Chappelle ranting against trannies), this was genuinely the funniest thing I’ve seen to date.

Maybe it might be time to rewatch this again, along with the Harold & Kumar movies as a bonus.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Clerks 2, and even compared to the current comedies today (with the exception of an angry Dave Chappelle ranting against trannies), this was genuinely the funniest thing I’ve seen to date.

Maybe it might be time to rewatch this again, along with the Harold & Kumar movies as a bonus.

I was surprised at how well it aged, despite the qualms I had about the characters' morality.

It's most definitely worth a rewatch, it's still fucking hilarious and better than 99% of comedies that have come out in the last 10 years. It's actually shocking by moment how far they go and the shit they say.