Clerks 3 - Starring DSPs not so retarded cousin and Rosario Dawson

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Internet War Criminal said:
You think that's the scene that would never be in Clerks 3?

Nigga, it's THAT scene that would never, ever, in no fucking way whatsoever, be in Clerks 3:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=IYITxGniww4
He fucking drops nigger like 5 times in a row, and a list of other slurs and calls it cute and shit.

I really wouldn't be surprised if around Clerks 3's release people make a campaign to cancel Kevin Smith and he goes out on his knees apologizing for the scene saying he never should have filmed it.
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iirc in one ep of MST3k Joel calls the Bots "yard monkeys" or "yard apes" or something implying that it did actually have mileage as "a thing you'd call kids running around" rather than just the basic slur
but yeah that was a funny bit
 
So youtube has decided to throw a lot of classic Clerks clips at me, and then it starts throwing evening with Kevin Smith stuff, and then finally just some behind the scenes/deleted stuff from Clerks 2.

It's weird. I forgot how much I actually liked Kevin Smith as a kid and teenager. It's like my adult brain convinced me he was always cringe as fuck, but now actually going back after a decade or more and looking at him before his change into super high crying consoomer man and seeing him actually being funny...it kind of makes me sad.
 
I saw this a couple of weeks ago. It was okay, it had a bunch of references to the previous movies and meta jokes like one would expect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so depressing.

Becky and her unborn child were killed by a drunk driver a few months after Clerks II ended, and Dante has been carrying the grief with him for the last fifteen years. Eventually when he explodes on Randal for being a selfish prick (as usual), he has a massive coronary and dies. His last moments are spent in a hospital bed while Randal cries and screams for help.
 
Preferred Penne said:
I saw this a couple of weeks ago. It was okay, it had a bunch of references to the previous movies and meta jokes like one would expect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so depressing.

Becky and her unborn child were killed by a drunk driver a few months after Clerks II ended, and Dante has been carrying the grief with him for the last fifteen years. Eventually when he explodes on Randal for being a selfish prick (as usual), he has a massive coronary and dies. His last moments are spent in a hospital bed while Randal cries and screams for help.
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Sounds retarded. It would have been better if Kevin Smith died when he had his heart attack.
 
Preferred Penne said:
I saw this a couple of weeks ago. It was okay, it had a bunch of references to the previous movies and meta jokes like one would expect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so depressing.

Becky and her unborn child were killed by a drunk driver a few months after Clerks II ended, and Dante has been carrying the grief with him for the last fifteen years. Eventually when he explodes on Randal for being a selfish prick (as usual), he has a massive coronary and dies. His last moments are spent in a hospital bed while Randal cries and screams for help.
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this sounds retarded. is it funny at least? worth a watch from a chasing amy fan?
 
Preferred Penne said:
I saw this a couple of weeks ago. It was okay, it had a bunch of references to the previous movies and meta jokes like one would expect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so depressing.

Becky and her unborn child were killed by a drunk driver a few months after Clerks II ended, and Dante has been carrying the grief with him for the last fifteen years. Eventually when he explodes on Randal for being a selfish prick (as usual), he has a massive coronary and dies. His last moments are spent in a hospital bed while Randal cries and screams for help.
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That just sounds like a hack writer trying to make his movie seem more profound by inserting what's essential Loss into his comedy movie. The sad thing is that the ending of the original Clerks was far more profound because it had an actual point instead of just drama baiting.

Just looking at the Clerks ending now, where it was self introspective and kept in mind personal responsibility, but now a days Kevin Smith is screeching about Nazis and how we need more female Batman or some other dumb shit.
 
Preferred Penne said:
I saw this a couple of weeks ago. It was okay, it had a bunch of references to the previous movies and meta jokes like one would expect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so depressing.

Becky and her unborn child were killed by a drunk driver a few months after Clerks II ended, and Dante has been carrying the grief with him for the last fifteen years. Eventually when he explodes on Randal for being a selfish prick (as usual), he has a massive coronary and dies. His last moments are spent in a hospital bed while Randal cries and screams for help.
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At least Smith had the decency to end it and not do a Clerks 4.

unless it's director Randall and Ghost Dante.
 
Homer J. Fong said:
At least Smith had the decency to end it and not do a Clerks 4.

unless it's director Randall and Ghost Dante.
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Apparently he wants to do a bunch more Clerks movies, but without Dante there's really no point, unless they do Ghost Dante segments like they did with Ghost Becky in this movie.
 
Alright, I know I'm late since I didn't even see this thread until just now, so here's my honest reaction after watching the trailer:

It seriously looked like a FunnyOrDie or College Humor sketch. No bullshit, it didn't seem real. It honestly looked like one of those aforementioned comedy Youtube channels rounded up the original actors from the View Askew universe and crammed them into a comedy sketch for a fake video on a parody Clerks III trailer. Everything about it, from the obligatory forced meta references to the pointless and dated modern references to show what year it is (e.g. Tinder, THC shop) -- just seemed so cringey and pandering. The giant blunt thing at the end made me visibly cringe especially; even if I were 13 that would be lame.

Oh, as it's been said several times already in this thread previously: every actor in this movie looks like ass. Jesus Christ, how did they all hit the wall so bad? Jason Mewes especially....holy shit.
 
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Preferred Penne said:
I saw this a couple of weeks ago. It was okay, it had a bunch of references to the previous movies and meta jokes like one would expect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so depressing.

Becky and her unborn child were killed by a drunk driver a few months after Clerks II ended, and Dante has been carrying the grief with him for the last fifteen years. Eventually when he explodes on Randal for being a selfish prick (as usual), he has a massive coronary and dies. His last moments are spent in a hospital bed while Randal cries and screams for help.
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WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?
 
Preferred Penne said:
I saw this a couple of weeks ago. It was okay, it had a bunch of references to the previous movies and meta jokes like one would expect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so depressing.

Becky and her unborn child were killed by a drunk driver a few months after Clerks II ended, and Dante has been carrying the grief with him for the last fifteen years. Eventually when he explodes on Randal for being a selfish prick (as usual), he has a massive coronary and dies. His last moments are spent in a hospital bed while Randal cries and screams for help.
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I honest to god thought you were trolling until I looked it up on Wikipedia.

What. The. Fuck.

Is this Kevin Smith's Last Jedi? Jesus Fucking Christ is subverting expectations more important than actual good story telling? He must have made it out of spite towards his fans. There's no other explanation.
 
BrunoMattei said:
I honest to god thought you were trolling until I looked it up on Wikipedia.

What. The. Fuck.

Is this Kevin Smith's Last Jedi? Jesus Fucking Christ is subverting expectations more important than actual good story telling? He must have made it out of spite towards his fans. There's no other explanation.
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The next scene is at the funeral home, so I thought they might do a bait-and-switch where Randal and Dante go to someone else's funeral, but nope, Dante's dead. Randal's eulogy consists of him saying "You're not even supposed to BE here today!"
 
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