Completely Useless Superpowers

[shasetoma.]

• X-ray vision that only goes one atom deep
• Super strength, but only during REM sleep
• The ability to give yourself a kidney stone at will
• A barcode scanner that comes out of your eyes, but scanning anything just gives you data in binary

 

[Tragi-Chan]

The ability to stop time, but you aren’t immune.

 

[Coffee Anon]

The ability to make anyone laugh, at anytime, but only at you and never with you.

 

[TFT-A9]

The ability to make anyone laugh, at anytime, but only at you and never with you.

That's called being a lolcow isn't it

 

[NerdShamer]

The ability to teleport, but only if you're wearing a federal prisoner uniform.

 

[Stranger Neighbors]

Being a human but having a literal whale cock.

The ability to teleport into space.

But you can't bring anything with you.

So you're basically naked in space and you die.

Can you control where you go?

If so maybe you could teleport inside a space shuttle... That'd be pretty cool, teleport in and scare the living fuck out of some astronauts