Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[PinkRibbonScars]

I wish Phil brought back Cooking With The King. The "Bugged Cooking Mechanics" series (where Gordon Ramsay critiques Phil cooking abilities) is my favourite of all detractor vids

 

[BallBuster]

Where are the veggies? Can she not manage microwaving some frozen carrots? I assume steaming is too advanced for either of them.

And where's the glaze on either the chicken or the meatloaf?

Horses really like carrots too.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

As I recall Phil actually owns this book..

and I'm sure this is exactly how he sees himself when Kat is "making food" for him. To be fair he probably would look like he was having a stroke like Jim Ross here if a couple of women got anywhere near him.

 

[Phalanx]

I wish he would just come clean with the whole Khet is just a convenient girlfriend thing his lying lately is sloppy AF and its painful to see because it is just bad at this point because when it comes to evaluation really makes the house of cards tumble.

Damn does this bitch know anything about seasoning it all looks so dry

 

[LiquidCancer]

The potatoes look so smooth. It's like they blended them or added a bunch of cream? I'm not sure. Mashed potatoes are meant to be fluffy. What they've made is potato slop.

 

[der rademacher]

lol he actually called them homemade mashed potatoes, same potatoes pictured here with the
homemade kings hawaiin roll.

Ya all ridicule the... well, whatever this meat is mimicking, but holy Jesus effin Babylord... did they just cook non-peeled potatoes and mashed them with the skin still attached? That shit looks disgusting. The bun actually looks like the only thing edible here.

Heard he had a big slip up the other day on stream and used the word “tard cum” when referring to getting money. Anyone have this clip?

EDIT: Damn you Neger. He used the word /V\ilk apparently.

It's his life-m.ilk apparently.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

View attachment 628417
Here we see an earlier Instagram post where Phil is claiming Kat made homemade mashed potatoes.

Now we are getting conflicting information that they don't know how to make mashed potatoes and Phil does not own a potato masher.

Love the emphasis that KHET made it. Homemade my asshole, that shit looks straight from Schwans. Same crap he pulled about the "cake" khet made for him on his birthday. That one cake made from the box requiring an egg and butter, blended, and baked. The one cake that was dry as fuck that he had to keep drinking liquids to counter act the dryness.

 

[Raven'sChild]

I haven't seen anyone mention the ham yet. I wish there was a picture so I would know for sure. I have never seen black forest ham served in America in any other form other than deli meat.

I have done a quick Google search and all I saw was lunch meat and bulk food service deli hams.

Wikipedia says black forest ham is a different thing in Europe, in America I have only seen it used for sandwiches.

I hope I am wrong here. Did Phil buy a ham from Fred Meyer's deli? He said it was precooked, lunchmeat is precooked. A whole ham from the deli department is pretty damn expensive too.

Am I wrong here? Has any other American here bought a black forest ham?

To the best of my knowledge Black Forrest Ham is for sandwiches and not for table service. His comments on it being salty would be accurate as since it is cured in salt, the sodium levels of the meat tend to be a bit high. Baking a Black Forrest Ham I can imagine would make it taste even saltier with the baking process removing some of the water content.

Black Forest ham is a type of smoked ham that has been dry-cured with salt and other spices. This type of ham originates in the Black Forest area of Germany that takes up to three months to perfect. The black exterior of the ham is created by the process of cold-smoking the meat. American hams labeled as Black Forrest hams are not the same as a real Black Forrest Ham from Germany. The black exterior on the American varieties is from a dark brown food coloring commonly referred to as 'caramel' food coloring which D$P misunderstood.

TL;DR D$P bought an uncut deli ham meant for sandwiches. He mistook caramel food coloring to be a sweet coating which shows he had never had Black Forrest ham before.

 

[Prince Lotor]

To the best of my knowledge Black Forrest Ham is for sandwiches and not for table service. His comments on it being salty would be accurate as since it is cured in salt, the sodium levels of the meat tend to be a bit high. Baking a Black Forrest Ham I can imagine would make it taste even saltier with the baking process removing some of the water content.

Black Forest ham is a type of smoked ham that has been dry-cured with salt and other spices. This type of ham originates in the Black Forest area of Germany that takes up to three months to perfect. The black exterior of the ham is created by the process of cold-smoking the meat. American hams labeled as Black Forrest hams are not the same as a real Black Forrest Ham from Germany. The black exterior on the American varieties is from a dark brown food coloring commonly referred to as 'caramel' food coloring which D$P misunderstood.

TL;DR D$P bought an uncut deli ham meant for sandwiches. He mistook caramel food coloring to be a sweet coating which shows he had never had Black Forrest ham before.

I will say that you can take those deli hams and thick-cut about ¼ inch thick slices and pan fry them and it's fucking delicious, but throwing one of those in the oven whole is just complete exceptionalism. You could also cube it up to put in a casserole, or a quiche, or a fritatta or some other concoction. There's a reason your deli ham didn't come with instructions to bake it whole on the package Phil, that's because it's ready-to-eat; it's already been baked and cooled, then packaged for consumption.

 

[Commander Keen]

He also believes that pork is healthy and that foods that are "fresh" are better for you.

Pork is the “other white meat”, after all. I was totally bummed no one troll cheered DSP during the Christmas tell-all to ask if Kat preferred white or dark meat.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

fucking lol
he needs instructions on how to make mashes potatoes?
i made them once by accident it's not hard.
something tells me he can't even bake a potato either
potatoes don't come with instructions, and that makes phil angry
i wonder if he knows to remove the eyes.

Lol lol lol he didn't look up any fucking recipe for anything. Nor did he make any "homemade" (more lolz) anything. How do I know? Bc he didn't stREEEEm it. And therefore, did not have his chatpigs to cheer him the instructions for him to ignore..

 

[Sphadilcastro]

TL;DR D$P bought an uncut deli ham meant for sandwiches. He mistook caramel food coloring to be a sweet coating which shows he had never had Black Forrest ham before.

Yet he knew "for a fact" that black forest ham has "a coating that's made of caramel".

 

[LiquidCancer]

Because the outside of a black forest ham is dark he thinks it's sweet? or did he have a honey baked ham and think it was black forest? What a disgusting pig he turns every food into garbage.

 

[Adamska]

lol he actually called them homemade mashed potatoes, same potatoes pictured here with the
homemade kings hawaiin roll.

The loaf is invoking Salisbury steak to me and is too fucking dry based on the amount of reflection on the meat, meaning that it lacks the sauce to bask in to keep said moisture. As for the mash? Well it's okayish in terms of the potato bits, but the skin makes it look hideous. Bread rolls like that are just cancer and should not be ever touched by the by.

Also what a pathetic sack of shit; so absolutely desperate to biggen himself up by showing off his toys to the audience of spec ed kids he fleeces out. Yes Pig, I'm counting your soul maid as a toy since you only use her as a status symbol and to try and pretend that you aren't a cowardly and antisocial manchild who will die alone and miserable even with company in the debt condo.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Bit late posting this, but Khet reportedly made 'Chicken with stuffing in a crockpot'. There was no Instagram pic to accompany this stream revelation due to it most likely looking like this:

 

[DiabeticSP]

Jesus fuck is she midwest white.

Its comical. Combined with Phil's total lack of 'culture' (non hungry man meals) it amuses me every time.

I hope he dates a girl from good ol dixieland next so he can be oustanded by dishes such as 'steak and potatoes' and 'chicken and waffles'. Maybe some grits.

 

[PenisMuncher23]

Jesus fuck is she midwest white.

Its comical. Combined with Phil's total lack of 'culture' (non hungry man meals) it amuses me every time.

I hope he dates a girl from good ol dixieland next so he can be oustanded by dishes such as 'steak and potatoes' and 'chicken and waffles'. Maybe some grits.

I don't think Phillip has much choice when it comes to dating. I doubt any somewhat normal woman would put up with a tenth of his shit.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Khet IS D$P's SoulMaid. Unlike Leanna, who got woken up while sick to fix him dinner, D$P is ordering pizza for dinner tonight due to there being "no groceries in the house" and Khet being sick for them to go to the grocery store. Not sure what she's going to have, but.....

 

[Raven'sChild]

( Not really a 'double post' as these are seven days apart )
D$P made steak fajitas apparently*. Sadly, no InstaTweetFaceGoogle pics to show, so I'll be purely speculating for the rest of this. The household so strapped for cash as to be in danger of not only over drafting the checking account paying bills/losing their home come April, had fajitas. It can be assumed that frozen pre-cooked pre-sliced steak, peppers, onions, seasoning packet, flour tortillas, pre-grated cheese, sour cream, guacamole, fresh tomatoes and store bought salsa were purchased during the last trip to the grocery store in order to make this meal. There were, "No Groceries" in the house according to D$P when he had to order a pizza for dinner due to Khet being too sick to go grocery shopping. These amount to a large number of meal specific ingredients ( unless he scheduled soft tacos for later in the week on his Meal Plan ).
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP-8ltpbi3U
The vid has a number of interesting non food related info, so I highly recommend giving it a listen past the fajita story. I found the chat revealed detractor status of a person who had cheered resulting in a gleeful ban and then later self proclaimed detractor status of a cheerer not garnering one.

 

[Pargon]

In the Midwest any sort of assembled meal which could be considered remotely """ethnic""" can be made via a pre-assembled, frozen kit. This includes fajitas. Dump in a pan, heat for ~20, roll up in a tortilla and eat while your napkin soaks up your tears. Safe to say something similar could be found in PNW's Fred Meyer.

No word on whether there's a Schwann's version.