Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[Kosher Dill]

San Marzano is the variety. The brand is probably Cento (which has been accused of fraudulently selling tomatoes which are not actually authentic).

 

[AnOminous]

It's Cento (courtesy of pigpiggo).

 

[lavrentiyberia]

And (we all saw this coming, DSP is attracted to scams like Sideshow Bob's foot to rakes) any San Marzano tomatoes you get in the US are fake and low-quality even compared to normal canned tomatoes https://www.tastecooking.com/fake-rolex-canned-tomatoes/

edit: basically what AnOminous said

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Phil has stated before that he has to make a special trip to Trader Joe's to get these canned tomatoes.

These are super special tomatoes.

You can really taste the difference, especially after adding half a bag of sugar, a handful of bay leaves, a few dozen dashes of garlic salt, and a quart of water.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

It's hilarious that he wants to look so much like he knows what he's doing by grinding those tomatoes up, but completely ruins the effect by getting them out of a fucking can packaged by a huge company that he doesn't bother to research to see if they're actually importing tomatoes or just telling idiots like him that they are.

Phil has stated before that he has to make a special trip to Trader Joe's to get these canned tomatoes.

These are super special tomatoes.

You can really taste the difference, especially after adding half a bag of sugar, a handful of bay leaves, a few dozen dashes of garlic salt, and a quart of water.

Please tell me you're exaggerating the amount there.

 

[AnOminous]

Phil has stated before that he has to make a special trip to Trader Joe's to get these canned tomatoes.

They're literally at Wal-Mart.

 

[UncleTusky]

Please tell me you're exaggerating the amount there.

Sorry to ruin your innocence here.... he starts with a half-cup to a cup of sugar and a few shakes of garlic salt, then tops it all off by drowning the "sauce" in a few cups of water and adding sugar + garlic salt to taste as the whole thing cooks; I could be wrong but I think the sugar might double as a thickener (though most people would use flour/cornstarch or, you know, less water). He wouldn't even need to waste a whole day if he didn't insist on drowning the fucking thing. There is a reason the 'tism sauce is infamous in this subforum.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Sorry to ruin your innocence here.... he starts with a half-cup to a cup of sugar and a few shakes of garlic salt, then tops it all off by drowning the "sauce" in a few cups of water and adding sugar + garlic salt to taste as the whole thing cooks; I could be wrong but I think the sugar might double as a thickener (though most people would use flour/cornstarch or, you know, less water). He wouldn't even need to waste a whole day if he didn't insist on drowning the fucking thing. There is a reason the 'tism sauce is infamous in this subforum.

Cup? That makes more sense. Sparkletor wrote half a BAG. Still way too much, though, and it's not going to thicken a damn thing. Just give you diabetes. Flour and cornstarch are indeed proper thickening agents, though, as you say, using less water would be better. But so would using fresh tomatoes, basil leaves, actual garlic cloves, pepper, fresh onions, and fresh mushrooms. Phil isn't about to do any of that because as much as he likes to come off as a chef by making a big show of grinding up those canned tomatoes, we all know how fucking lazy he really is.

His "cooking" seriously triggers me even more than his gaming does.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

They're literally at Wal-Mart.

Phil won't shop at Wal-Mart lmao. He's above that.

 

[UncleTusky]

Cup? That makes more sense. Sparkletor wrote half a BAG.

Sorry, that was unclear on my part: The amount he adds before he starts cooking is a half-cup to a cup, then he adds fairly generous amounts "to taste" for the 5-6 hours it takes to simmer. So there isn't a "what the hell is he doing" moment where he adds a half bag all as once but the total amount added is definitely in the neighborhood of several cups-half a bag. The whole mess must somehow be gritty and watery all at once.

His "cooking" seriously triggers me even more than his gaming does.

Same here. If you haven't already I recommend you watch his old "Cooking with the King" videos.... just don't plan to have an appetite ever again.

I also don't understand why he doesn't just throw in a carrot or two if he's that desperate to have a sweet, but tasty, sauce.

 

[Iron Hamster]

I had the recipe we used in a pizza shop I worked in. I'll see if I still have it and can dig it up for comparison.

 

[AnOminous]

I had the recipe we used in a pizza shop I worked in. I'll see if I still have it and can dig it up for comparison.

A normal marinara used by humans would use a 28 ounce can (like one of what Phil used), an onion cut into rough chunks, some garlic, olive oil to taste, maybe 1/4 cup at most or less, some oregano, maybe some fresh basil, and you'd take the onion out after a bit. You really don't need to add any sugar at all, the onion does it, but adding nearly homeopathic amounts, like 1/2 teaspoon for a large batch, isn't going to hurt anything.

I have no idea what the fuck he was doing.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Sorry, that was unclear on my part: The amount he adds before he starts cooking is a half-cup to a cup, then he adds fairly generous amounts "to taste" for the 5-6 hours it takes to simmer.

5-6 fucking hours? That's for slow cooking a damn chicken, not fucking sauce. I don't know why I'm surprised, we're talking about a guy who once defended his use of fast food places by stating that it costs money to buy stuff from the store anyway, completely missing the entire point of it costing MORE to eat out all the time.

So there isn't a "what the hell is he doing" moment where he adds a half bag all as once but the total amount added is definitely in the neighborhood of several cups-half a bag. The whole mess must somehow be gritty and watery all at once.

Holy shit on a stick...

The only reason on god's green Earth to have THAT much sugar in anything is if you're making enough food for a shit load of people, which Phil obviously has never done because he fucking hates people and that would be too much work for him anyway.

How often does he make that sauce? It can't be more than once a year, he would be dead by now if it was. In fact he's lucky to survive eating it even that often. Also, I heard Leanna's voice, has she commented on what it's like to eat it? Especially what it's like an hour or so AFTER eating it?

Same here. If you haven't already I recommend you watch his old "Cooking with the King" videos.... just don't plan to have an appetite ever again.

I'll be fine. Might have some more gray hairs, but my appetite is plenty durable. (Famous last words, I know. lol)

I also don't understand why he doesn't just throw in a carrot or two if he's that desperate to have a sweet, but tasty, sauce.

There are so many things he could do that would be better than putting ANY amount of sugar in there, let alone enough to kill a rhino, that it's insane.

I had the recipe we used in a pizza shop I worked in. I'll see if I still have it and can dig it up for comparison.

If it doesn't include a suicidal amount of sugar, it wins. I don't care if the grease from it permanently stains anything it comes into contact with, it wins.

 

[Gramh]

A normal marinara used by humans would use a 28 ounce can (like one of what Phil used), an onion cut into rough chunks, some garlic, olive oil to taste, maybe 1/4 cup at most or less, some oregano, maybe some fresh basil, and you'd take the onion out after a bit. You really don't need to add any sugar at all, the onion does it, but adding nearly homeopathic amounts, like 1/2 teaspoon for a large batch, isn't going to hurt anything.

I have no idea what the fuck he was doing.

I watched a Binging with Babish episode about something around about sauce, and he said some people add an incredibly small amount of sugar to combat acidity in the tomato for, if my memory serves, a quicker sauce than spending time letting it simmer which the extra cooking time removes most of the acidity anyway. What reason one would have for DSP levels of sugar only autism and diabetes can guess, it certainly can't taste good.

 

[Funko Pops NFT collector]

5-6 fucking hours? That's for slow cooking a damn chicken, not fucking sauce. I don't know why I'm surprised, we're talking about a guy who once defended his use of fast food places by stating that it costs money to buy stuff from the store anyway, completely missing the entire point of it costing MORE to eat out all the time.



Holy shit on a stick...

The only reason on god's green Earth to have THAT much sugar in anything is if you're making enough food for a shit load of people, which Phil obviously has never done because he fucking hates people and that would be too much work for him anyway.

How often does he make that sauce? It can't be more than once a year, he would be dead by now if it was. In fact he's lucky to survive eating it even that often. Also, I heard Leanna's voice, has she commented on what it's like to eat it? Especially what it's like an hour or so AFTER eating it?



I'll be fine. Might have some more gray hairs, but my appetite is plenty durable. (Famous last words, I know. lol)



There are so many things he could do that would be better than putting ANY amount of sugar in there, let alone enough to kill a rhino, that it's insane.



If it doesn't include a suicidal amount of sugar, it wins. I don't care if the grease from it permanently stains anything it comes into contact with, it wins.

Phil made Leanna taste the sauce,the conversation was as follow:
Phil: so you like it? How does it taste like?
Leanna: tastes like sauce *bored face*

So no,its not good.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

I watched a Binging with Babish episode about something around about sauce, and he said some people add an incredibly small amount of sugar to combat acidity in the tomato for, if my memory serves, a quicker sauce than spending time letting it simmer which the extra cooking time removes most of the acidity anyway. What reason one would have for DSP levels of sugar only autism and diabetes can guess, it certainly can't taste good.

So the pigroach is defeating the entire purpose of the sugar by simmering it for half a day. What an incredibly Phil thing to do. It's like when he skips out on cut scenes and tutorials and doesn't bother to read a damn thing because it's a "waste of time", then wanders around repeating "I don't know what to do".

Also, no man who spends half a day making sauce gets to dictate what qualifies as a "waste of time".

Phil made Leanna taste the sauce,the conversation was as follow:
Phil: so you like it? How does it taste like?
Leanna: tastes like sauce *bored face*

So no,its not good.

Better than what my reaction would've been: to dump the shit on his oddly-shaped head and proceed to tear him a new one, Gordan Ramsay-style.

 

[AnOminous]

What reason one would have for DSP levels of sugar only autism and diabetes can guess, it certainly can't taste good.

American jarred sauces add an inordinate amount of sugar. Part of why you'd make them yourself is just NOT to do that. It ruins them. Pouring tons of sugar in is such an Amerilard thing to do.

 

[UncleTusky]

5-6 fucking hours? That's for slow cooking a damn chicken, not fucking sauce.

I wasn't exaggerating when I said he drowns the sauce-it literally looks like soup when he adds in the water and apparently he adds more while it simmers. Nobody in this thread could find one that takes > 3 hours and you know our top autists would find a longer cooking sauce if it were out there.

I don't know why I'm surprised, we're talking about a guy who once defended his use of fast food places by stating that it costs money to buy stuff from the store anyway, completely missing the entire point of it costing MORE to eat out all the time.

Nah, he insists that one home-cooked meal costs as much as eating out one night, not that a half-week or week of groceries costs as much. Phil basically lives off of frozen & boil in bag shit and it's surprisingly expensive.

How often does he make that sauce? It can't be more than once a year, he would be dead by now if it was. In fact he's lucky to survive eating it even that often. Also, I heard Leanna's voice, has she commented on what it's like to eat it? Especially what it's like an hour or so AFTER eating it?

It was maybe once every 1-2 months with Leanna, now it's more like once every 3-5 months with Khet. He also freezes the stuff and puts it on whatever his 'tism wants-I have a pet theory that he is pre-diabetic or diabetic and that's why he almost never eats sweets.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

So, he cooks the same way he plays games. A well rounded talent.

 

[KingjadVCMP]

I think Phil's sauce recipe got changed by Kat to make it "healthier" or something. Quite sure there's a GIF of him pouring lots of sugar into his old recipe.

That being said, it's getting miles off topic for what this is supposed to be covering.