CWC moved to Central Virginia Regional Jail

[Kulee Baba]

Given the nature of his current charges I doubt he'll be sharing a cell with anyone soon. Since he assaulted an elderly person it's unlikely he's housed with harmless old folks, and I'd imagine even chomos don't think highly of someone who raped their helpless mother.

Most folks would take this time in relative isolation to reflect and prepare for what to do next as the case moves along, but sadly my money is on Chris retreating further into his delusional fantasy world. Even after five weeks before his next court appearance, I don't think any semblance of reality will kick in until then, if even.

Far more stable minds have gone into a detention center and had mental breakdowns due to being thrown into a cell.

I have little hope for Chris having any sort of rehabilitation. He's only going to get crazier and more bitter now that he's not going to be treated as a special snowflake.

 

[⠠⠠⠅⠑⠋⠋⠁⠇⠎ ⠠⠠⠊⠎ ⠠⠠⠁ ⠠⠠⠋⠁⠛]

I done some research.

CVRJ allows deposits in Chris's commissary via JailATM, but you cannot send him messages, video calls, or gift packs. They are truly luddites.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

I done some research.

CVRJ allows deposits in Chris's commissary via JailATM, but you cannot send him messages, video calls, or gift packs. They are truly luddites.

So expect him to get some unironic fan mail, some hate/troll mail and people attempting to garner attention from him and make Chris do something stupid whilst locked up so he ends up getting beaten or punished by someone.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

So expect him to get some unironic fan mail, some hate/troll mail and people attempting to garner attention from him and make Chris do something stupid whilst locked up so he ends up getting beaten or punished by someone.

Dearest farther,

It is I your beloved creation Sonichu. Magichan told me a sinister troll group known as the Nation of Islam is talking shit about CWCville! Are you just gonna sit in your cell and take that? Meet them in the exercise yard and show them your strength as mayor of CWCville.

Love
Sonichu

 

[UncleFuckAss]

I just hope Chris uses his time away to better himself and studies to be a licensed erotic massage therapist. Its like, don’t let prison kill your dreams, you know?

You can get video games in prison. So there goes your idea.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

I just hope Chris uses his time away to better himself and studies to be a licensed erotic massage therapist. Its like, don’t let prison kill your dreams, you know?

Hopefully in prison Chris will finally learn some useful life skills. Like how to use an ironing press, for example. I'm sure some helpful inmates would be willing to teach him.

 

[King Kiwi]

I just hope Chris uses his time away to better himself and studies to be a licensed erotic massage therapist. Its like, don’t let prison kill your dreams, you know?

Sure, he can make custom Sonichu license plates in prison and sell them for $2.

 

[Joe Cool]

I done some research.

CVRJ allows deposits in Chris's commissary via JailATM, but you cannot send him messages, video calls, or gift packs. They are truly luddites.

Do you think he can understand Octal?

$1.52
$1.65
$1.54
$1.41
$1.71

 

[⠠⠠⠅⠑⠋⠋⠁⠇⠎ ⠠⠠⠊⠎ ⠠⠠⠁ ⠠⠠⠋⠁⠛]

Glad to see that the actual electronic communications provider for CVRJ (JailATM didn't bribe the right state officials) isn't misgendering Chris.

 

[drfuzzyballs]

Alright I'm gonna write a letter. What should I ask him?

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Alright I'm gonna write a letter. What should I ask him?

What the other convicts are like.

Chris will sperg over what they think of him.

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

Do you think he can understand Octal?

$1.52
$1.65
$1.54
$1.41
$1.71

Jesus, I knew what this said without having to convert it. Being a Christorian has taken a toll on my sanity

 

[Alpha Kennybody]

What the other convicts are like.

Chris will sperg over what they think of him.

tell him to get a prison tattoo of Sonichu. It'll intimidate the fuck out of the Latin Kings.

 

[DeeCeeBees]

Not only that, but prison meals are bare minimum enough, everything else food wise has be bought at the commissaries. If Chris doesn't have any money, he's either sucking dudes off to the extreme, or going hungry.

He's going to be losing a ton of weight.

Even a picky dog will eat cheap kibble if it gets hungry enough. Prison food is full of carbs since they use a lot of shit like noodles and potatoes as filler for meals. And Chris has a history of sitting on his ass for most of his life. I’m betting he actually doubles in size.

 

[RodgerDodger]

Alright I'm gonna write a letter. What should I ask him?

Send him some of your best hand drawnn Sonichu art. Remember the arms are blue.

/gets popcorn

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

Even a picky dog will eat cheap kibble if it gets hungry enough. Prison food is full of carbs since they use a lot of shit like noodles and potatoes as filler for meals. And Chris has a history of sitting on his ass for most of his life. I’m betting he actually doubles in size.

Dude has never lifted a set of weights in his entire life, and almost gets exhausted by spinning around in circles for 15 seconds. Turns out he might end up being bigger than Snorlax ever was.

 

[.moe]

fresh fish!

 

[Mason Verger]

Even a picky dog will eat cheap kibble if it gets hungry enough. Prison food is full of carbs since they use a lot of shit like noodles and potatoes as filler for meals. And Chris has a history of sitting on his ass for most of his life. I’m betting he actually doubles in size.

Especially if does do his time in protective custody. Just sitting around trying full the pain with commissary snacks till his supporters finally forget about him.

 

[Kill a Troon for Pikamee]

Dude has never lifted a set of weights in his entire life, and almost gets exhausted by spinning around in circles for 15 seconds. Turns out he might end up being bigger than Snorlax ever was.

He has lifted Patty' doghouse and that was probably like 10 tonnes of weight. Just look at him, the dude will probably bulk af while in prison and become a powerlifter when he's out

Chis might have not spent a lot of time in the gym, but you can't deny he's got a great potential:

And look how good he is at push ups. He's a natural born talent

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Do you think he can understand Octal?

$1.52
$1.65
$1.54
$1.41
$1.71

Yes but would he expect it to be encoded in ASCII or EBCDIC? (Though knowing Chris it would be in PETSCII)

drfuzzyballs said:

Alright I'm gonna write a letter. What should I ask him?

Ask him if they let him draw while he's there.

EDIT: Be aware that he might be unable to respond if he can't afford postage. Inmates are only allowed one free stamp per week, and you can't mail him stamps, so the only way for him to reply to more than one person a week is to put money in his commissary account and trust that he'll not just spend it all on snacks and actually buy a few fucking stamps.

And then you have to trust that he'll put in the effort to reply at all. Handwriting is very difficult for him.