Let's Sperg Darkest Dungeon Let's Sperg: Part 2 - A Quest of Autism and Lovecraftian Horror

[Jaimas]

Let's meet our team of heroes for this op:

@Burned Man is one of our most legendary characters. A terrifying heavy hitter with a broken greatsword, he has fought and killed things from realms beyond description. Throughout horror and pain, he has fought off every threat thrown his way. He will end this threat, or die in the attempt.

@BOLDYSPICY! is the second-hardest hitter in my group after Burned Man and @Randall Fragg. Nobody else is capable of the sort of non-stop face-punching this girl is capable of. Wild and unpredictable (and often drunk off her ass), Boldy is ready to drink any threat to humanity under the table and then pufferton axe the thing to hell.

One of two characters who didn't get as much press in the roster as I'd hoped, @GethN7 was scooped round the time we got Jan Hus. Curiously, he's had this bizarre tendency to just not learn any new quirks - no negative ones, no positive ones. A very basic stress-relief booster and an addiction to alcohol that makes it completely worthless. To make up for this he has no drawbacks, and is probably the best healer amongst this group's four fucking Occultists that isn't @Techpriest. Geth was mostly there to help other party members level up, especially team AWMA after the Mark Boyd incident, but this time, he's fighting for something more.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, Cosmos is the most dangerous Arbalest I've ever fielded. The unspeakable shit she did to enemy formations during Wolves at the Door was hilarious to the point where Cosmos had a running "Enemies killed at start of the fight" counter. Unfortunately, she's also the only Arbalest I can deploy right now, and I do so knowing full well of what's to come. This boss dies tonight.

No sense beating around the bush. You have your marching orders.

 

[Jaimas]

Heading through the portal leads us through space. I think. It's mostly a representation of slip-space, according to Geth, the space between worlds. This is the bridge that lies between our world and the beyond.

Note the complete lack of a retreat option, by the way.

Ahead, a flickering image comes before us.

It's the Ancestor. And the fucker has a lot to say.

In all my terrible researches, what I sought was a glimpse behind the veil, a crumb of cosmic truth... I found It here and in that moment of brain-blasting realization I ceased to be a man and became a herald, an avatar of the Crawling Chaos.

Life feeds on life. In your petty pursuit of family redemption you consumed those who rallied to your cause and in so doing you strengthened the Thing, accelerating the end. This is as it should be. It is why you are here.

We are chained here forever, you and I, at the end of the world. Free yourself, rouse the thing and embrace the ineffable cosmic hideousness that lives within as all.

So surprising exactly no one, this asshole is evil. Ghosts are assholes, after all.

We pursue him to the space vagina, and we make ready for a battle like none other.

You still foolishly consider yourself an entity separate from the whole. I know better.
And I...
Will...
Show you...!

The Ancestor is an enfuriatingly long four-phase battle. Let's begin.

The Ancestor himself is invulnerable, but summons clones of himself that can be attacked and killed.

Gradually, the group hacks at these while dealing with the Ancestor's hilariously weak special attacks (and annoying stress-blasts), killing them only for the Ancestor to summon more. Geth is handy here because his anti-Eldritch damage means he can easily splatter the clones.

Eventually, he'll start spawning flawed clones. These are the weak point. Kill the flawed clone, and the Ancestor will take damage. Five such clones kiled and he'll have gone the way of Wilfred Brimley and downed his last oat.

Bit by bit, the group grinds away the enemy ranks and forces more flawed clones to appear. Finally, Cosmos kills the last one with a headshot and we're on to the next phase of the battle.

This time the Ancestor is fought directly, alongside three Absolute Nothingnesses. These guys are placeholders; they can't be hit and take no damage. Their sole purpose is to help act as placeholders during the fight. The Ancestor is done fucking around, and this time, he's gonna throw everything at us.

That will not save his ass from Cosmos.

He's a terrifying force, however, and he can try to convince the skeleton friends of the group to escape their fleshy bits and go hang out with Tyce. The move fails, however, as the team knows only too well: you can't lend a Skeleton, and they know all about the media's hatred of skeletons.

The team presses the assault, as the Ancestor zips back and forth like a Corgi chasing a rabbit. Eventually he tired of having the group's collective fists up his ass and he moves on to phase three.

At this point he becomes a Gestating Heart. Fighting this part is optional. Any damage done to him here transfers over to his final form, and hitting him heals you but also induces blight. You can either patch up or pound his ass. The group goes for a mix of both. The Gestating Heart has no real attacks and in three turns, we'll see the final final boss.

The boss stands revealed: The Heart of Darkness, the core of the abomination.

Cosmos prepares to greet him in the way she is accustomed.

The group pounds him hard - Geth, Boldy, and Cosmos all land ferocious blows, as Burned Man charges up for his next strike.

And then the reason I fucking hate this battle happens.

I love Darkest Dungeon as a concept, and several of its ideas are great, but this fucking next thing?

Well... Let's just say it's fucking bullshit, to say the least.

This boss has an attack called Come Unto Your Maker. It instantly kills one party member. You choose who. Because fuck you. There's no way to evade it, no way to mitigate it, and since death is permanent in this game it's a giant middle finger to the player. The game will actually do this again - and worse - in short order, and then give the player a third, even bigger middle finger in a few minutes.

For now, though, there's nothing you can do. This shithead unavoidably does this twice during the fight, once at 66% health and again at 33%. Since Geth's the low-ball damage dealer and we don't need healing right now, Geth unfortunately is the pick.

Fun fact, this causes the usual stress buildup for losing a character, too. Because fuck you and everything you stand for.

The group hacks and slashes and shoots away, ripping giant chunks of the boss's massive HP reserve away. This is a fucking rushdown fight and the boss gets off single-target annoyance strikes, stress-boosts, and bleeds.

Cosmos gets taken down next, presumably for blowing off like 74% of the boss's HP in the last three phases of the fight.

Boldy is fucking pissed.

With only two characters left, Boldy and Burned Man throw everything they have at the boss as it pulls out all the stops to kill these last two kiwis.

Vae victus, motherfucker.

 

[Jaimas]

So remember when I said there was three middle fingers this threw at you in succession? You saw two with what happened to Geth and Cosmos, but the third one?

The ending itself.

Victory... A hollow and ridiculous notion. We are born of this thing, made from it, and we will be returned to it, in time. The great family of man... a profusion of errant flesh! Multiplying, swarming, living, dying... Until the stars align in their inexorable formation and what sleeps is roused once more, to hatch from this fragile shell of earth and rock and bring our inescapable end. So seek solace in a manner befitting your lineage and take up your nugatory vigil, haunted forever by that sickening prose echoing through the infinite blackness of space and time...

Ruin has come to our family.

This is one of the most "fuck you" endings I've seen in a video game.
There's a few ways to interpret the Ancestor's faggotry and this ending; one is that he somehow caused a temporal causality loop and fucked everything up; another is that if one is to believe what the Ancestor tells us prior to the fight, the mere understanding of a sliver of the nature of the eldritch faggotry under the estate will cause the others to meet the same fate as the Ancestor, beginning the cycle anew until everyone's fucked.

It's not all bad news though. I've gotten some mileage out of the "@Ruin has come to our family" joke, and the Narrator himself, Wayne June, has a voice like liquid sex and his line delivery is fantastic. I've also used the above epilogue as a gag a few times in lolcow threads, so it's not like nothing good came out of it.

This ends the quest of The (The) Kiwi Farms Estate. With the Heart dead, the rest of the group mourns the dead and rests well.

Their fight, as it were, isn't quite over yet....

 

[Solzhenitsyn]

RIP Cosmos and Geth. Too beautiful for this world. A real shame I couldn't be there to take the death blow for them.

 

[Ravelord]

What I wonder though is if you can bypass the first deathblow therefore skipping the second one. There is a strat for that, akin to an octoheavy. But it's a leper and three plague doctors. But the person who pulled that off caused a deathblow rather than something like 35-40% of his HP.

 

[Ol' Slag]

What I wonder though is if you can bypass the first deathblow therefore skipping the second one. There is a strat for that, akin to an octoheavy. But it's a leper and three plague doctors. But the person who pulled that off caused a deathblow rather than something like 35-40% of his HP.

As far as I know, you could one shot the boss when you could still equip the same trinket twice to one character. You needed the Leper with two Martyr seals which make his damage crazy at deaths door and a ton of boosts from the plagues.

@Jaimas Have any new strats been found d to kill the final boss with no deaths?

 

[c-no]

Sucks I didn't get to fight. Very least though, semper fidelis to @Cosmos and @GethN7 for being the sacrifices. Still, fuck the Heart of Darkness for taking away two good Kiwi's (and Red Hook by extension for not letting me fight the heart). Still, this Crimson Court sounds very interesting. Maybe I can shine against the final boss in that (if the quirk I have doesn't prevent me from doing it).

 

[Jaimas]

What I wonder though is if you can bypass the first deathblow therefore skipping the second one. There is a strat for that, akin to an octoheavy. But it's a leper and three plague doctors. But the person who pulled that off caused a deathblow rather than something like 35-40% of his HP.

You can easily bypass one guaranteed deathblow, but it has to basically drop the boss to the second threshold, or from 170 HP to 83. So you need to do 88 points of damage at least.

Doing so will require most of the following:

* A very powerful class with self-buffs (Leper, Hellion)
* At least one party member with offensive buffs (Plague Doctor)
* Perks that boost damage and crit rate (Slugger, Precise Striker, Deadly)
* The best trinkets for damage in the game (Dismas' Head, Martyr's Seal, Crescendo Box, Legendary Bracer)
* Optionally, Virtuous and/or Rabies

Stack three turns worth of buffing, Slugger cuts loose, usually can manage 90+ damage in one go.

As far as I know, you could one shot the boss when you could still equip the same trinket twice to one character. You needed the Leper with two Martyr seals which make his damage crazy at deaths door and a ton of boosts from the plagues.

@Jaimas Have any new strats been found d to kill the final boss with no deaths?

Triple Plague Doctor and Leper is not the only way. I am entirely convinced that it's possible to do it with Triple Plague and Hellion, provided one can stack enough damage buffs. Hellion has the same crit rate and access to self-buffing; it's just that her damage output is notably lower, offset by a much higher critical chance. In theory, if one gives her the same gear (Dismas' Head, Martyr's Seal), intentionally gets her to Death's Door, has her charge up for three rounds with all her teammates spamming Envigorating Vapors on her for three rounds, and give her rabies just to round out the lot, you can do the 171+ damage to kill the heart and skip the instant deaths.

 

[Jaimas]

Now, it's worth noting that the deaths of the Kiwis this run... Might not be fully permanent.

It's very rare, but you can get an event called From Beyond, which will allow you to choose one of three characters, randomly chosen, from your graveyard, to revive. This particular event is allegedly more common on Radiant mode; no idea, I've never seen it.

I don't know if the DLC for Dankmeme dungeon will be a full-blown expansion or an add-on. I honestly hope it brings a change of setting and new classes to the table. The concept art gives a heavy Bloodborne vibe and I approve of this. Also don't make the ending fucking suck this time, Red Hook, please.

 

[Burned Man]

RIP @Cosmos and @GethN7. It should have been me Jaimas, it should have been me.

 

[Cosmos]

I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country Kiwis. I'm glad I got to go down fighting.

 

[RJ MacReady]

@Cosmos and @GethN7 were so powerful that they slew the idea of causality itself. They died because the Ancestor was absolutely terrified about what would happen if they continued to live, and even then he failed. Kiwis don't die. They can never die.

RIP @Cosmos and @GethN7. It should have been me Jaimas, it should have been me.

Looks like it's not your time just yet. Eldritch nothingness or no, there's still autists out there that need a good butchering.

 

[Ol' Slag]

Now, it's worth noting that the deaths of the Kiwis this run... Might not be fully permanent.

It's very rare, but you can get an event called From Beyond, which will allow you to choose one of three characters, randomly chosen, from your graveyard, to revive. This particular event is allegedly more common on Radiant mode; no idea, I've never seen it.

I don't know if the DLC for Dankmeme dungeon will be a full-blown expansion or an add-on. I honestly hope it brings a change of setting and new classes to the table. The concept art gives a heavy Bloodborne vibe and I approve of this. Also don't make the ending fucking suck this time, Red Hook, please.

From what I read there is quite a bit to look forward to with the new DLC.

They have pretty much stated there will be at least one new class.

You also will be able to contract vampirism or the new character class will have it automatically. Unfortunately, if you do, it will lead to you being chased by a vampire hunter.

I also PERSONALLY think that this might have a "true" ending where you can break the cycle.

 

[Burned Man]

I'm curious what the DLC can bring to the table in terms of threat elevation. I mean look at what we just accomplished. I think everyone that entered the Darkest Dungeon and came back should be able to handle some vampires without any stress what so ever. I always look forward to what else Red Hook can bring to the table.

 

[Jaimas]

One big change? A roaming boss, the Fanatic.

He basically acts like Resident Evil 3's Nemesis, and dogs you relentlessly if you either have a vampire or a character permanently marked by his hammer in your party (It brands them with a V).

He will actively try to burn your heroes at the stake while self-healing and and goes to town on offense if you keep knocking down his pyres, sort of like a wandering version of the Drowned Crew. Supposedly the player gets several audio clues when he's close, and the asshole will dog you until you escape him or he's put down.

 

[Ravelord]

You can easily bypass one guaranteed deathblow, but it has to basically drop the boss to the second threshold, or from 170 HP to 83. So you need to do 88 points of damage at least.

Doing so will require most of the following:

* A very powerful class with self-buffs (Leper, Hellion)
* At least one party member with offensive buffs (Plague Doctor)
* Perks that boost damage and crit rate (Slugger, Precise Striker, Deadly)
* The best trinkets for damage in the game (Dismas' Head, Martyr's Seal, Crescendo Box, Legendary Bracer)
* Optionally, Virtuous and/or Rabies

Stack three turns worth of buffing, Slugger cuts loose, usually can manage 90+ damage in one go.



Triple Plague Doctor and Leper is not the only way. I am entirely convinced that it's possible to do it with Triple Plague and Hellion, provided one can stack enough damage buffs. Hellion has the same crit rate and access to self-buffing; it's just that her damage output is notably lower, offset by a much higher critical chance. In theory, if one gives her the same gear (Dismas' Head, Martyr's Seal), intentionally gets her to Death's Door, has her charge up for three rounds with all her teammates spamming Envigorating Vapors on her for three rounds, and give her rabies just to round out the lot, you can do the 171+ damage to kill the heart and skip the instant deaths.

Yeah, but there's a problem with using an hellion. The self-buff is also a heal, defeating the purpouse of the martyr's seal. Maybe using powerful, and having a jester with powerful or with the virtuous that boosts criticals could help too.

 

[Solzhenitsyn]

I also PERSONALLY think that this might have a "true" ending where you can break the cycle.

Red Hook has been pretty good about addressing fan complaints in their game so far, so I think there's real hope for this.
Of course, with authors and developers, you never can tell--they might go full sperg and claim we just don't understand Lovecraftian horror or some such.

 

[Jaimas]

Red Hook has been pretty good about addressing fan complaints in their game so far, so I think there's real hope for this.
Of course, with authors and developers, you never can tell--they might go full sperg and claim we just don't understand Lovecraftian horror or some such.

I wouldn't be so sure. Red Hook has also done acts of phenomenal retardation as well.
Quad era demonstratum: The Musketeer.

For the uninitiated, this is a backers-only class that can pop up as an Arbalest clone. She has her own unique barks, roster attributes, and abilities, and the game even counts her as a separate class, but she's basically an alternate Arbalest. She was initially only available to backers. Very quickly it was found that the only thing keeping her content out of the hands of literally everyone else was a single line of code and some files. Modders immediately found ways to make her available, and for the most part, nobody fucking cared. PC Master Race, motherfuckers, and Dankmeme Dungeon already supported modding. The mod was out for almost a year and a half with no problems.

You'd think any problems with this would be over.
You would be wrong.

After one patch, after incessant bitching by a very, very small number of backers, Red Hook altered the code. Now the Musketeer enabler mod was incompatible with the game. If you got one already, the game wouldn't take her away from you, ditto her trinkets, but otherwise, you would never see them again. It also DMCA'd the mod entirely, to prevent her from being re-enabled. This is bad enough, but this also locked out both legitimate backers and people who got her via promotional codes. The community started to ask questions, mostly along the lines of "Why would you do this?" And Red Hook answered that they didn't want to fuck over the initial backers who got her as a reward.

It needs be noted that this double fucked over the modding community. People just using the Musketeer is one thing, but there was an entire mod that modified the Musketeer's skills to make her much more her own class. It made her a lot different in feel and setup, and the result was a character you felt good about sharing a roster with the Arbalest class without their being overlap. This mod, too, got royally fucked over by this change.

A poll was quickly held questioning the existing backers if the Musketeer Mod was a big deal. Like close to 90% of the existing backers said they didn't mind. The remaining 10% were complete autists who would not shut the fuck up over it, and were autistic to the degree that the mod's never been put back up to this day.

But we're not over, not by any stretch. Earlier this year, Dankmeme Dungeon released on PS4. When it did, guess what fucking class it had?

The Musketeer. Hundreds of fucking people wound up getting her - before Red Hook said that her being in the game was an error, and locked her out. Once again, if you got her before they said no, good for you - you were fine. Otherwise, you'll never see them again.

Common chant is that the Musketeer variant mod and the Musketeer herself will be in the DLC just to fucking end the Autism, but for now, this class is the only thing more controverisal than Pepes of historical figures.

 

[RJ MacReady]

One big change? A roaming boss, the Fanatic.

He basically acts like Resident Evil 3's Nemesis, and dogs you relentlessly if you either have a vampire or a character permanently marked by his hammer in your party (It brands them with a V).

He will actively try to burn your heroes at the stake while self-healing and and goes to town on offense if you keep knocking down his pyres, sort of like a wandering version of the Drowned Crew. Supposedly the player gets several audio clues when he's close, and the asshole will dog you until you escape him or he's put down.

>The game is dispatching the Ordo Hereticus just to put an end to our bullshit

 

[Sable]

I know this isn't really part of the thread, but I named my MAA Varg to ensure that he lives forever.

So far it's working.