Dumb things you did as a kid. - From bodily harm to embarrassment or anything that stood out as exceptional

[Niggernerd]

I vaguely remember being 5 living in hawaii and asking my friend who had an eyepatch if he was a pirate

 

[Strange Wilderness]

As a dare I stood at the side of the street naked with a newspaper over my crotch and later mooned passing cars with two or three other people

When I was really little I would ask for the lettuce that would garnish plates at resturants so I could feed them to a toy Brontosaurs I had so he could eat.

When our Dad rented a wood chipper me and my sister bought a ton of random shit at the dollar store and tried tossing it in ala Malcolm in the Middle. Our expectations of seeing Barbie shredded into pieces were sadly dashed. Really should have sprung for the box of confetti.

 

[Devyn]

I also use to think it was normal to dip my potato chips in ketchup until I learned otherwise.

Lol I used to dip potato chips in ketchup as a kid, and I always added it to my macaroni and cheese too (a lot of younger kids are weirdly obsessed with ketchup though, so while gross I don't think it's necessarily that unusual)

One time at about age 6 I looked at the stove burner I knew had recently been in use, and since it was grey I assumed it must be cold now and had a sudden, intense urge to reach out and touch it. I realized it was a stupid idea but did it anyway, putting the whole palm directly on the element, and--shocker!--it was still really hot. I jerked away instantly but still had massive blisters all over my hand for like a week. That was the first and last time I was a retard (or even just careless) about the stove

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

Moved to a new house when I was 8-9 years old. There was a major motorway being constructed nearby, and it was interesting enough for my preteen friends and I to fuck around on after school most days. Annoying the construction workers, sitting in the heavy machinery, all that shit.

One day we had the bright idea to undo the large, metal signage hanging from the bridges, letting it crash down below. We one day did this while construction was going on down below, men, vehicles, all passing underneath.

It was amazing we didn't have the police called on us a thousand times. Got chased off by fat construction workers more times than I care to remember.

Edit: just remembered probably the WORST shit I ever did.

Around 10 years old I had one of those giant super soaker water guns, the fucking huge model with like a 3 litre tank on it. Once fully pumped, it was like a firehouse with insane range.

One day a friend and I (who was similarly armed and retarded) decided to stand by a busy main road and fire these guns into the open windows of passing cars. As I say, the range we had on these guns was easily 40ft or more, and it was powerful.

After blasting a few cars and soaking the drivers, we'd run off and hide for a few minutes if they showed signs of slowing down or turning in to chase us. Didn't get caught.

After doing this several times, we sat down on some nearby grass, laughing our asses off at how funny it was. Until suddenly I found myself being dragged to my feet by some insanely angry guy, who shook me by the collar and screamed into my face, 'what the fuck is wrong with you, are you stupid? You could kill someone doing that.'

My friend practically shit his pants, as did I. The guy picked up my gun and went to his car, never saw it again. Probably for the best.

 

[OneMillionRPM]

When I was 3 or 4, I stuck a penny in a power outlet pretending it was a coin slot like in an arcade game or vending machine. I don't remember how badly it hurt, but it did leave a big burn mark on the wall.

 

[Niggernerd]

When i was 4 i escaped my house buck ass naked, and my mom and sister found me sitting on a porch of some old black couple drinking grape koolaid.

Literal porch monkey

 

[Taylor Swift's Ghostwrite]

When I was very small we were in France and I got separated from my parents while visiting the Louvre. I saw them across the way, so naturally just ran over to see them. Everyone around me including a security guard began freaking out as I was walking, and my parents looked aghast and I had no clue what was going on. I discovered that I had crossed under a little rope that was blocking off a piece of priceless art and just walked across it because I didn't bother thinking of why the rope was there.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

One time at about age 6 I looked at the stove burner I knew had recently been in use, and since it was grey I assumed it must be cold now and had a sudden, intense urge to reach out and touch it.

Around the same age, My dad was cooking something in one of those open countertop cookers. He apparently had it closer to the edge of the counter than I thought because I walked by to peek at what was inside and my lip pressed against the edge of the cooker and got burned. From what i remember it smarted for a couple of days and I'm not sure how my parent's didn't see it or find out.
---
When my neighbor was 4 or 5 and I was 7 or 8, he had me write some stuff about another neighborhood kid he hated because he hadn't yet learned to write well enough to do it himself. I thought most of what he had me write down was silly or dumb, but I didn't think much of it. Anyways, we go outside to play a bit and his mom calls us in. She tells me she saw what I wrote and she knows it's my writing because he wasn't writing yet. I quickly told her how he told me what to write. Fortunately, all she did was tell us that what we did was rude/wrong and tore up the paper while she told us not to do anything like that again.

 

[Niggernerd]

Back in elementary, all us lads thought it was XTREME to go as high as you could on a swing and jump off. Falling right on our asses. Pretty sure it came back to haunt me and fucked my back.

 

[Frosty Fetus]

In grades 1-4 I was scared of wetting my pants and would stick my hands down my pants to check if it was dry or wet. I did it at home and in public.

 

[Yamamura]

So there was this kid in my school (who was possibly autistic) who really liked Sonic, like I'm talking Sonic merchandise, sleeping with a stuffed Sonic doll, Sonic themed birthday party and the whole nines. He was also a Christian. So I just causally asked him one day if he thought Sonic was gay for Tails. He got seriously livid at that thought. Other kids caught on to this as well to the point where (this kid in question was kinda strong) he picked up a chair and was winding up to throw it at this other kid. Needless to say he got taken out after that. To this day I still sometimes think back to that moment.

What would that kid say if he saw half the shit on Deviantart?

I know what you're thinking and no this is not Chris.

 

[Crex Crex]

I was at the beach and stuck my hand in a hole to catch a huge ass crab living in it. Predictably, the son of a bitch pinched my finger and made a pretty deep cut

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

At our cabin I kept poking a nest of forest ants with a stick until one squirted acid right into my eye. Lesson learnt.

 

[CrystalRoserade]

Once when I was, like, 5-6, I tried to warm up some Long John Silver's fries in the microwave. For 30 minutes. Needless to say, they caught fire. I was terrified of microwaves for a while after that incident. Had another potato product fire earlier this year, but that's not what this thread is about. Also licked the inside of a freezer for some reason and got my tongue stuck. Don't know what I expected from that, honestly.

Another incident was when I went to the bathroom at my dad's work and, like a dumbass, forgot which door I came in from.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

I went to the pool with a fellow Girl Scout's family, went to the biggest slide and promptly drowned after looking at the water and passing out. Was revived by a lifeguard.

 

[Agoraphobic Bullshit]

Do any of y'all remember the nursery rhyme "Jack Sprat"? Basically it's about a dude who only eats lean cuts and his wife ate the fat. We were behind a large woman in a grocery store and I loudly told my mom "that woman must be Jack Sprat's wife!" We went home without groceries since my mother was so embarrassed.

Next one happened first day kindergarten. Idk why I thought this, but at noon I thought school was over (we had full day kindergarten) and I couldn't find the bus so I walked to my grandma's. She wasn't home and I had a full panic attack in her driveway. Luckily a kindly neighbour knew me and returned me to school, where the teachers were also in a full blown panic over my disappearance. I didn't want to get into trouble for leaving school so I told the teacher I saw a spider and hid. I was forever known as an arachnophobe despite actually really liking spiders.

 

[Ghost of Wesley Willis]

When I was 6 or 7 years old, I smashed my own head against my bedroom window and shattered it. I don't remember why exactly I even did it to this day.

I kept the curtain closed for days hoping my parents wouldn't see the damage I did to it.

 

[Kornula]

I vaguely remember being 5 living in hawaii and asking my friend who had an eyepatch if he was a pirate

That is not stupid as a kid or an adult.

Anyway, does watching Speed Racer count?

 

[anti SJW]

1. In pre school. There was a black kid I called Blackie a couple of times. That got shut down pretty quick by the teacher.

2. Driving my big wheel ride on toy down the hill we lived on. No hand brake. Barefoot. I only did that once.

 

[Kornula]

When i was 4 i escaped my house buck ass naked, and my mom and sister found me sitting on a porch of some old black couple drinking grape koolaid.

Literal porch monkey

I would have loved to seen an actual picture of that.