E3 (but not really) 2022

[Milwaukee Macho Man]

Dunno katana zero and others seem there is some passion put into them also isnt devolver digital a publishing studio and @Mega Man 2 Intro - NES holy shit didnt realize they were ran by the dude who founded retro studios also you are big nigger for saying hotline miami is shit

I'll concede Katana Zero was okay. I forgot they published that.

They actually publish more than I thought, but I still stand none of it really jumps out at me.

Maybe I'm just still salty that people told me to play Ruiner and it was complete dogshit.

 

[Miller]

What's the DIE agenda? I've seen you mention it before

Diversity Inclusion and Equity. They changed the acronym because it was too on the nose, now it's "DEI".

 

[Dojima's Dragon]

I'll concede Katana Zero was okay. I forgot they published that.

They actually publish more than I thought, but I still stand none of it really jumps out at me.

Maybe I'm just still salty that people told me to play Ruiner and it was complete dogshit.

Yeah ruiner was awful really man i am still salty about the 10$ i wasted on the game couldve gotten metal slug or whatever was on sale that day

 

[Basic Blonde Boy]

Actually predicting what will be there:

Sony: Shit, and you know it. Ratchet is done now, so there showcase will just be Dad of War, some Soy movie title, and capeshit/licensed games. Prepare to see Spider-Man 2, Hogwarts Academy, The shit blue-people Avatar, and maybe Wolverine. If we are really lucky, the rumored PS All-Stars 2 will happen to jump on the Smash train. That or Sackboy 2, please have Sackboy 2.

Microsoft: "We bought companies", "Gamepass", "We will have games...eventually", "Halo", "Forza." Did I get it all?

EA: "Please buy us Disney!!", "sports game", "Star Wars", who cares...

SEGA: Sonic Origins and Frontier get shown more, maybe Yakuza, maybe Monkey Ball? Not much more past that.

Warner Bros: Shows off more Suicide Squad and Gotham Knights. Multiversus gets a trailer. Injustice 3 gets announced. Finally, we may learn what Tt's next LEGO title is.

Ubisoft: Assassins' Creed, Far Cry 6, Tom Clancy, Just Dance 2022, and Mario + Rabbids.

Nintendo: Expects praise when they announce Daisy will come to Strikers a month after launch. Will show off the sky area of BOTW2. More info on Splatoon, probably will show the Mad Max-esc apocalypse single player. We will get small teasers for FE Warriors, Advanced wars, and Strikers. New MK8 DLC will release shortly after presentation. One surprise announcement. Only other possible things are Bayonetta 3, which is possible given it already had a teaser, and Metroid Prime 4, which is highly unlikely. Rabbids will probably be mentioned, but get main spotlight at a Ubisoft show.

 

[Milwaukee Macho Man]

Yeah ruiner was awful really man i am still salty about the 10$ i wasted on the game couldve gotten metal slug or whatever was on sale that day

I was able to get a refund but it still pissed me off

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

Sweet, I had so much money burning a hole in my pocket that was just begging to be blindly spent on pre-ordering whatever the excited exec/influencer told me I should be excited about.

On a serious note, for the love of fuck give me FF7R part 2. Yes, I'm aware that it's shit and a cash grab, but I do not care.

 

[Milwaukee Macho Man]

Sweet, I had so much money burning a hole in my pocket that was just begging to be blindly spent on pre-ordering whatever the excited exec/influencer told me I should be excited about.

On a serious note, for the love of fuck give me FF7R part 2. Yes, I'm aware that it's shit and a cash grab, but I do not care.

lol we ain't getting that until 2025 at the earliest

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I'll concede Katana Zero was okay. I forgot they published that.

They actually publish more than I thought, but I still stand none of it really jumps out at me.

Maybe I'm just still salty that people told me to play Ruiner and it was complete dogshit.

I was about to say Deadbolt, but I checked and it's not by them, and it's honestly only decent anyway.

 

[whatever I feel like]

Don't play Sonynigger games anymore. Hard to even get excited for their new announcements when nobody on earth has a PS5 other than scalpers and rich influencers. Hope Nintendo announces something good.

If you hated their slate of single-player focused open/semiopen world "action-adventure" games than don't worry, they announced a pivot to GaaS to investors recently. Might be right up your alley.

 

[Titos]

I was about to say Deadbolt, but I checked and it's not by them, and it's honestly only decent anyway.

Inscryption is pretty fun, even if some of the fights can be utter bullshit in the add on.

 

[SiccDicc]

Devolver Digital: Here's some adult swim level sketch comedy bullshit that you got tired of 5 years ago. Sorry, still haven't convinced the Swedes to make Hotline Miami 3 but here's a lot of soulless edgy garbage we're releasing while we mock soulless corporations.

Forgot the part where they pander some marginalized group to keep their ESG score up.

 

[Mega Man II Intro - GB]

they announced a pivot to GaaS to investors recently.

I'm not sure the business plan of "combine the worst elements of mobile and PC gaming but still charge people for a console" is sustainable long term.

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

I’m just waiting for Nintendo.

I honestly have no predictions. This year just seems barren.

I mean it can't be any worse than last year... Right?

 

[Celebrate Nite]

I mean it can't be any worse than last year... Right?

Good job, you jynx'd it

 

[whatever I feel like]

Nintendo already pretty much has it's releases set for the year, Splatoon and Pokemon for fall, Zelda in 2023, Mario or Mario Kart probably after that.

 

[Pissmaster]

All I could imagine anyone wanting from the Sega conference is the Yakuza 8 announcement. And I guess the hope that there's more of a snowball's chance in hell that the Judgment series gets a PC port. Buuuuuuuuuuut we'll probably just get reminded that Sonic Origins is coming and also some new PSO2 stuff.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

All I could imagine anyone wanting from the Sega conference is the Yakuza 8 announcement. And I guess the hope that there's more of a snowball's chance in hell that the Judgment series gets a PC port. Buuuuuuuuuuut we'll probably just get reminded that Sonic Origins is coming and also some new PSO2 stuff.

Also Sonic Frontiers

IGN released a teaser for it, and yea... so far so bland

 

[Judge Dredd]

They actually publish more than I thought, but I still stand none of it really jumps out at me.

They published Metal Wolf Chaos. They were a bit late to cash in on the meme, but I'm glad we at least got an English version.

I know people hate their conferences, but I thought the first couple were a breath of fresh air. But they lean on the same joke year after year and it got old. If they want to be edge lords poking big publishers in the eye, they should mock cynical woke presentations and journalists, but given Devolver went woke themselves, I don't see it happening.

 

[BooneHelm]

E3 is so lazy they couldn’t even slap together an online only conference. One has to wonder if companies will realize they don’t even need E3 anymore and we’ll never see another one.

Regardless I do have some predictions:

Xbox/Bethesda:
Fallout 5: Not any game footage, just an announcement and only a logo.
Halo TV Series Season 2 and probably some other cucked series based off a game.

Sony:
Playstation Plus

Sega:
Dreamcast Mini: apparently they are looking to announce a new console or mini console.

Nintendo:
More Breath of the Wild 2: They have to keep us interested as they delay delay delay.
New Donkey Kong game: The Mario Odyssey team is working one.
Possibly something new about Metroid Prime 4
New Smash Bros character: I know they said they were done but they probably have one more up their sleeve.
Smash Bros Kart: It’s been rumored they are working on some Smash Bros/Mario Kart hybrid.

EA:
Hopefully they hire some more YouTubers you didn’t know existed and give gold like this again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0oDO0wLa-Y

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Sega:
Dreamcast Mini: apparently they are looking to announce a new console or mini console.

That would be cool, but I'd prefer NSO to get DC games.