Cultcow EvaXephon / Yanderedev / Alex Mahan / Alexander Stuart Mahan / cannotgoogleme - Edgy weeaboo coomer with pedo tendencies and 15+ years internet history as a lolcow, now known as a disaster developer behind eternal debug build called "Yandere Simulator", confirmed groomer and dollfucker

[TyuErt]

Tbh, I'm surprised eva never throws a tantrum because someone ported the game to mac. If I remember right, be didn't tell anyone to to it.

 

[otacon]

Tbh, I'm surprised eva never throws a tantrum because someone ported the game to mac. If I remember right, be didn't tell anyone to to it.

wait, so he didn't even do the port? at this point it'd be easier to identify the stuff Eva has done on YanSim than what he hasn't.

 

[Zach_Kun]

wait, so he didn't even do the port? at this point it'd be easier to identify the stuff Eva has done on YanSim than what he hasn't.

Of course he didn't. He'd rather spend his time making easter eggs and responding to emails.

 

[LillyTheBestGirl]

  public bool Mopping;
  public bool Pouring;
  public bool Talking;
  public bool Aiming;
  public bool Hiding;

etc...

Welp, looks like Mike's advice about using State Machines went over Eva's head.

 

[Fatcat]

 

[TyuErt]

For those who don't feel like going to the thread for evas bullshit

Spoiler

Clearing Up Misunderstandings, Part 1: Mike Z
I’ve noticed that people are starting to share ancient chat logs and out-of-context screenshots in an attempt to damage my reputation. I’d like to take a moment to share my side of the story.

“YandereDev demanded praise from Mike Z, didn’t get it, then tried to make Mike Z look like the bad guy.”
I’ve been a huge fan of Skullgirls for years, and I idolized the lead programmer, Mike Z. When I say “idolized”, I’m not exaggerating; I put him on a huge pedestal, thought of him as a god, and practically worshiped him. I felt ecstatic when I met him in an IRC room and realized it was actually possible to talk to one of my heroes. I spoke with him for months, and probably bugged him a little too often with game design questions and game industry questions.

I wanted to be Mike Z; I wanted to become the sort of person who can almost single-handedly program a video game. So, I started developing my own fighting game in Unity, to try and emulate my hero. As I worked, I daydreamed about the day that I would show Mike my prototype. I fantasized about the idea of Mike being impressed by the game and praising me for my efforts. After several months of work, I felt really proud of what I had made. At some point, I mentioned my prototype in the IRC channel that Mike frequented, and Mike asked to see it. I felt that the game wasn’t ready to be presented to anyone, but I showed him anyway.

Mike had a lot of criticism for my prototype. Looking back, I think almost everything he had to say was valid. However, I couldn’t focus on the advice he was trying to give me; all I could think about was the fact that my idol wasn’t impressed by my work. I felt crushed that the scenario wasn’t playing out the way I had imagined it. I tried to deflect every piece of advice he gave me; “The game wasn’t ready!” “It’s still a prototype!” “It’s still missing features!” I threw a big childish temper tantrum and called him names, then stormed off. Reading back over the chat log, I’m pretty embarrassed and ashamed of the way I responded to his criticism. I regret the way I handled it, and I wish I could go back in time and punch my younger self in the face. With that said, I’ve got to say that reading the old chat log is like reading the words of a completely different person; I don’t act that way anymore.

After my big temper tantrum, Mike Z contacted me by way of private message and we had a much more polite conversation about the entire situation. I explained why I took his words so harshly, and he gave me some advice that felt as valuable as gold to me. We parted ways on civil terms, but for several months, I was still silently fuming about the whole affair. His words still stung. I still felt embarrassed. I still felt upset that my months of hard work had been wasted. So even though Mike and I had resolved our differences, I held a petty grudge against him. When someone asked for my “origin story”, this is how I chose to phrase things:

At the time, when I wrote that post, those were my honest feelings. I honestly felt like I was a victim, and a lot of my motivation came from a desire to “outshine” the man who had embarrassed me. However, looking back, I don’t think I was the “good guy” and Mike was the “bad guy” in that scenario.

Now that so much time has passed, I can look back at the whole ordeal more objectively, and I can realize how wrong I was. It was wrong of me to idolize someone like a god, it was wrong of me to throw a temper tantrum when things didn’t work out the way I wanted, it was wrong of me to view myself as a victim, it was wrong of me to hold a grudge about it, and it was wrong of me to tell the story as if Mike was an evil villain who had crushed my dreams.

Now that so much time has passed, that whole situation is pretty much irrelevant, but it’s recently been dragged out into the spotlight, so I felt that it was necessary to share my side of the story and clear things up. Yes, I handled Mike’s criticism very poorly. Yes, I feel ashamed about it.Yes, I held a grudge for months and made him out to be a bad guy even though I was the one at fault. Yes, I’ve grown as a person since then. No, one old chat log does not represent the way I conduct myself on a daily basis.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

This is a long one folks.
Part 2

Spoiler

Clearing Up Misunderstandings, Part 2: Is YandereDev a pedophile?
I’ve noticed that people are starting to share ancient chat logs and out-of-context screenshots in an attempt to damage my reputation. I’d like to take a moment to share my side of the story.

“YandereDev is a pedophile who asked a minor to give him nude pictures of herself.”
Shortest answer: No.

Short answer: Hell no.

Long answer: If a minor claims to be over 18, then sends you nude pictures of herself, and you think she looks over 18, then one day you learn that she may have been under 18, does this make you a pedophile? No.

Longer answer: This is one of the most absurd things anyone has ever said about me, because I don’t find anything attractive at all about children. I doubt that anyone wants to hear about my sexual proclivities, but I assure you that children are not one of them.

Longest answer: There once was young woman on the Internet who was desperate for attention and approval from others. She claimed to be over 18, although she certainly didn’t act like it. She flirted with boys constantly, hoping that someone would tell her she was attractive or ask to be her boyfriend. One day, she sent out nude pictures of herself, hoping that it would make people like her. She definitely looked over 18. A few months later, she disappeared from the Internet, and someone claimed to know the reason why; he claimed that the girl’s parents learned that she was sending out nude photographs of herself, and took away her computer. Most people drew the conclusion that she was probably underage, considering her immature behavior and her parents’ reaction to her photographs. Nobody has heard from her in years, and there is no way for anyone to know how old she actually was, or why she actually disappeared from the Internet. The only thing anyone knows is that she claimed to be over 18,looked like she was 18, and that someoneclaimed that her parents took her computer away because of the nude photographs she took.

Does any of that make anyone a pedophile? I don’t think so.

This is such a plain, simple, cut-and-dry situation that there is honestly not much else to say. A claim like “YandereDev is a pedophile!” is equally as valid as “YandereDev is a Japanese schoolgirl!” It’s simply not true.

Part 3

Spoiler

Clearing Up Misunderstandings, Part 3: Volunteer Treatment
I’ve noticed that people are starting to share ancient chat logs and out-of-context screenshots in an attempt to damage my reputation. I’d like to take a moment to share my side of the story.

“YandereDev treats his volunteers like they are disposable.”

There’s something you have to understand; I am disposable.

If someone is working for free, they can work at whatever pace they want. They can quit the project at any time they want. They can ask me to stop using their assets at any time they want. A free volunteer can dispose of me at absolutely any time. A volunteer might have to leave the project because they need to focus more on school, because they need to put in more time at work, because they’re having problems in their personal life, or because of any other reason. Any volunteer can drop out of the project at absolutely any moment, and I have to be prepared for that. Because everyone is a volunteer, nobody is bound to me or obligated to stay on-board the project, so I must to be prepared to replace someone at a moment’s notice. It’s necessary to view everyone as impermanent and have back-up plans. To a volunteer, I am as disposable as a tissue.

“YandereDev is a poor leader.”

Most games have multiple “Leads”. The Lead Programmer lays the foundation for the game’s code and oversees the work done by the other programmers. The Lead Artist determines the game’s art direction and oversees the other artists. The Lead Animator plans out all of the game’s animations and oversees the other animators. The Lead Writer writes the core of the game’s story and oversees the other writers. The Lead Designer is in charge of the game’s design and oversees the other designers. The Voice Director oversees the voice actors and makes sure every single line in the game is read properly. The Project Lead is in charge of the direction of the entire project as a whole.

In this project, I have to play all of those roles. I’m the Project Lead, the Programing Lead, the Art Lead, the Animation Lead, the Writing Lead, the Design Lead, etc. I have help from a voice director, but I’m still the one who writes lengthy descriptions for exactly how a line is meant to be read.

I’m not saying that I’m a god-like paragon of extreme talent and skill. I have plenty of flaws, there are many things I suck at, and I have a lot of room for personal improvement. When I talk about how many things I’m in charge of, I’m not bragging; I wish that I was only in charge of one aspect of the game, instead of being in charge of every single aspect of the game. Being in charge of so much work is stressful, and leaves me with almost zero free time to play video games.

Nobody alive can be a perfect leader 100% of the time, especially when they have the aforementioned number of responsibilities and duties. There are obviously going to be times when I stumble. Every leader stumbles sometimes. You learn from your mistakes, and keep going. But if I was a poor leader, I think this project would have collapsed months ago.

“YandereDev doesn’t communicate with his volunteers.”

I estimate that there are around 20 ~ 30 volunteers on the project at any point in time (sometimes old volunteers have to leave the project, and I’m reviewing new candidates daily, so the number is always in flux). Most of my time - as little as 4 hours a day, as much as 8 hours a day - is spent communicating with the volunteers. It’s not unusual for me to spend at least an hour writing an e-mail while I gather reference material and describe exactly what I need in explicit detail. I spend so much time communicating with my volunteers that I barely have any time left over to write code.

So, why do some people complain that I don’t communicate enough?

Some of the volunteers contributing to Yandere Simulator are industry veterans with years of experience and their names in the credits of prestigious games, and some of the volunteers are amateurs and hobbyists with no real experience in game development.

Some aspects of Yandere Simulator as so well thought-out and thoroughly planned-out that I could write an entire book on exactly what I need, and some aspects of the game are a low priority at this point in time, so I haven’t put much thought into exactly how the assets need to be built.

The experienced and skilled volunteers get the “I know exactly what I need!” tasks. The inexperienced and amateurish volunteers get the “Um, I don’t really have a clear plan for this…” tasks. I try to be up-front about this at all times, and I apologize whenever I fail to mention this in advance.

“Yandere Simulator’s development is plagued with drama.”

No, not really. In the 14 months I’ve been working on this game, there have only been about two instances of real drama. Most volunteers are mature, professional, respectful, take criticism well, and don’t waste my time. There have only been one or two volunteers who, sadly, didn’t match that description.

“YandereDev is constantly driving volunteers off the project.”

Some volunteers vanish without saying a word to me, some volunteers don’t communicate with me for weeks or months at a time because they are busy with other projects, and some volunteers don’t communicate unless I contact them first, so it’s difficult to know exactly who is “gone” who is “busy” and who is “on call”. I have no way to know how many people are currently involved with the project or how many people have left the project; I can only tell you that there are days when I communicate with volunteers for 8 hours straight, so I certainly have no shortage of volunteers, and on most days, I wish I had less.

To my knowledge, there have only been two members of the project who were publicly vocal about the reasons why they left. Anyone else who has left the project has been mature and professional enough to keep their reasons to themselves, instead of embarking on a defamation campaign.

Several volunteers are constantly telling me how much they enjoy working on the project, so I’m simply not getting the impression that Yandere Simulator is a shoddily-run project rife with drama. For every one person who leaves the project, I can assure you that there are at least two others taking their place.

Some of my volunteers have been working with me for over 5 months. Some of them have been working with me for over 12 months. If I was a nightmare to work with, I don’t think the project would have anyone volunteering for that long.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Part 4

Spoiler

Clearing Up Misunderstandings, Part 4: A Pre-Emptive Explanation
It’s been a long time - about 8 months - since I had to address wild and false accusations leveled at me. Well, that time has finally come again. Let’s jump right into it!

On January 22nd, an individual contacted me to share her criticism of Yandere Simulator. She seemed to believe that Yandere Simulator contains depictions of underage characters in “sexual situations”. There are no “sexual situations” in Yandere Simulator; there are characters who make vague statements which imply that they are sexually active outside of school, but there are no characters who engage in sexual activity anywhere that the player can see them.

This individual, who I will refer to as “N”, expressed her belief that Twitch chose to ban broadcasts of Yandere Simulator because it contains “sexualized” underage characters.

If you’ve been keeping up with Yandere Simulator, you should be aware that I’ve been searching for a firm, solid, concrete reason why Twitch chose to ban Yandere Simulator from it service. Banning the game because of “underage” characters in “sexual situations” would be absurd for two reasons: first of all, there are no sexual situations visible anywhere in the game. Second of all, age of consent is different everywhere in the world. In some countries, it’s as high as 20. In other countries, it’s as low as 9.

I believe it would be ridiculous to ban Yandere Simulator because of an arbitrary number that changes depending on what country you’re in. I pointed this out, and “N” responded by accusing me of being a pedophile.

This is where I should have just rolled my eyes and proceed to ignore all future communication from this obnoxious individual. Instead, I made the mistake of responding to them.

I attempted to explain that it’s pointless to assign an age to a fictional character, because fictional characters can be clones, vampires, robots, or any other type of character whose age doesn’t reflect their physical appearance. I pointed out that, when it comes to fictional characters, ages are completely arbitrary.

“N” interpreted this as evidence that I’m a pedophile. (Actually, throughout our entire conversation, she interpreted literally every statement I made as evidence that I’m a pedophile. I could say “the sky is blue” and she would hear the words “I rape children!”)

At this point in time, I asked her why she demonized pedophiles. A person does not choose their sexual orientation. Sexual preference is not a choice. No person chooses to become a pedophile. It’s involuntary. Pedophilia is a defect, an illness, a disorder. A pedophile has something broken inside of them, and as of now, there is no cure. A pedophile lives with a curse. I look upon pedophiles with a deep degree of pity, but not hate. I cannot bring myself to hate someone who did not consciously, deliberately choose to be the way they are.

Now, child molesters and child rapists, those are a completely different story. It’s unforgivable to deliberately violate another human being, especially someone who is too young to defend themself or even comprehend what you’re doing to them. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - if a child molester or child rapist is given the death penalty, I would gladly serve as their executioner.

I asked “N” to explain the difference between someone who is 18 years old, and someone who is one day younger. There is no significant difference between those two people. On your 18th birthday, you do not open a box that contains maturity, wisdom, and responsibility. A person who is 17-years-and-364-days-old is practically the same as a person who is 18 years old.

Unfortunately, “N” did not comprehend the nuance of my statements. She insisted that all sexual contact between minors and adults is inherently abusive. She was absolutely obsessed with the idea of exposing me as an evil, demonic pedophile. She demanded that I tell her what I think the age of consent should be.

This should have been my cue that “N” completely lacked even the slightest degree of reading comprehension skill, because I had justexplained that someone who passes the age of consent is not magically “ready” for sex just because they have had a certain number of birthdays.

I pointed out that there are many people under the age of 18 who have had sexual experiences without being traumatized. I pointed out that some people aren’t “ready” for sex even after age 18. All human beings are different from one another, thus one “age of consent” will not work for all humans. I attempted to propose the idea of finding another way to determine whether or not someone is “ready” for sex, such as a passing a test that grants a “sex license.”

Regrettably, these concepts were simply too complex for poor “N” to grasp. Intent on forcing me to answer a question that would allow her to brand me as a pedophile, she demanded to know if I would permit a 14-year-old to have sex with a grown man if the 14-year-old had passed the “sex license test” that I had proposed.

Well, obviously, if there’s a test that objectively proves that a person is ready for sex, and a person passes that test, then that person is objectively ready for sex. This is simple logic, but “N” lacked the mental capacity to figure this out for herself.

At this point, I should have realized that it would be absolutely impossible to have any sort of meaningful or productive conversation with “N”. However, I continued speaking with her.

Despite my attempts to make clear and straightforward statements that could not possibly be misconstrued, “N” continued to interpret my every word as evidence that I was an evil, nasty pedophile. Because she was utterly convinced that I supported child molestation, she attempted to teach me that child abuse is bad. Well, obviously it’s bad! “Abuse” is right there in the name! Anything with “abuse” in the name is self-evidently bad! I don’t need to be taught that!

At this point in time, “N” made the following comment:

“All mental health professionals I’ve seen have agreed that 14 is too young.”

I asked “N” to clarify this statement. She admitted that, when she was 14, she had been molested by an adult.

At once, everything finally made sense. All of the puzzle pieces fell into place. I understood everything perfectly.

I wasn’t speaking to an obnoxious jerk. I wasn’t speaking to someone who lacked reading comprehension ability. I wasn’t speaking to someone who was remarkably unintelligent.

I was speaking to someone who was hurting.

“N” had gone through a horrible experience that no person should ever have to endure, and desired justice for what had been done to her. To her, the only way to “strike back” would be to pick a target (me) and bring shame and harm upon this person (with accusations of pedophilia and support for child abuse). The act of “attacking” or “exposing” a predator would bring her catharsis and relief.

Her desire to attack and expose a pedophile had grown so strong that it had morphed into an obsession; an obsession that caused her to abandon all semblance of logic or rational thought. No matter what I said, no matter how much I condemned child abuse, she would remain completely, totally, utterly convinced that I was a baby-raping monster. She had brainwashed herself to believe that I was a pedophile, and absolutely nothing I could say would make her think otherwise.

This is when I finally made the decision to stop speaking with her. I could no longer think of her as an annoying Internet troll making dumb arguments. She was fighting a battle that she could not win, because I’m not a pedophile. And I was fighting a battle that I could not win, because I was attempting to use logic with someone whose traumatic experiences would not allow them to see reason.

I thought that, by ceasing to communicate her, everything would be over…

…but that’s when I saw a Tumblr post where she contacted someone anonymously, claimed she had proof that I was “okay with sexual molestation of children”, and asked for advice on “exposing” me.

Oh, no you don’t. Sorry, “N”. It’s not going to happen.

I know that you’ve gone through indescribable, immeasurable pain, and survived an experience that I can’t even begin to imagine, but you’re not going to ruin my future career or demolish everything I’ve worked to create over the past 2 years because you’ve developed strange delusions about me.

That is why I’ve chosen to make this post. I want to tell our story before she puts some kind of bizarre spin on our e-mail chain and says “Look at this damning evidence that YandereDev is a pedophile!”

If you see a Tumblr post pop up making absurd claims that I somehow support child abuse, now you know who it’s coming from - a hurt young woman who desperately wants justice for what happened to her by lashing out and ruining a man’s career. She’s developed an obsession with the idea that I’m an evil monster who supports child molestation, and she’s determined to “expose” me for a delusion that she’s cooked up inside of her head.

I feel deep pity and empathy for her, but there’s no chance in hell that she’s going to tarnish my reputation by spreading a completely false narrative about me.

Sorry, “N”. I wish you the best, but you should try to heal with constructive methods, not destructive methods. Please do your best to free yourself from the bizarre delusional beliefs you’ve developed about me.

Part 5

Spoiler

Clearing Up Misunderstandings, Part 5: Threatening to dox someone?
There are some people who are saying, “YandereDev threatened to dox a girl!” but that’s not really how it went down.

I don’t know the exact day it started, but at some point in 2015, a person began to dedicate a ridiculous amount of their time to harassing me across a wide number of websites and services. Tumblr, Twitter, Skype, e-mail, even in a private chatroom where I hang out with my friends - no matter where I went, that person would follow me and try their best to get under my skin.

That person also ran a super-hateful blog where they posted out-of-context screenshots of things I’ve said or screenshots of things I wrote years ago, twisting my words around and trying to convince people that I’m a pedophile or something stupid like that. They weren’t “expressing their opinion” or “criticizing the game”, but were instead actively trying to make people hate me, as though it was their life goal - and some people were actually falling for the crap in that blog and leaving the fandom.

Anyone on earth would describe her actions as stalking / bullying / harassment. (Yes, a 20-year-old woman can “bully” a 27-year-old man if she takes the time to follow him, spread lies about him, and send him nasty messages for an extended period of time.)

I couldn’t escape this person. I felt like I was trapped in a corner with no options, no way to make them stop, no way to make them leave me alone, no way to make them stop dedicating their life to ruining mine. So, when I was live-streaming a video game a few nights ago, I decided to talk about this person and ask the viewers what they would do in my situation.

While I was describing this person and listing off all the crap they’ve done over the past year, I got so fired up that I went on an angry rant. This rant got more and more heated, until eventually I said something along the lines of, “This person deserves to be harmed for what they have done! I should spread their personal information and send the fanbase after them!”

Almost immediately afterwards, people started to spread the word that “YandereDev threatened to dox someone!” but it would be more accurate to say “Someone dedicated months of their life to harassing YandereDev, and he endured it silently for as long as he could, but eventually he snapped and gave an angry rant.”

When people are stressed out and pissed off, they say angry things. It’s like when you’re really upset at your boss and say, “I wanna punch my boss in the face!” In that situation, you’re not THREATENING to punch your boss, you’re just ranting because you’re so upset. People naturally want to talk about getting justice for all the crap they’ve been put through. It’s stress relief.

Think about how you would feel in this situation. If someone decided to dedicate a ridiculous amount of their time to harassing you across every website they could follow you to, and spreading lies and slander about you at every opportunity, how long could YOU endure it before you lost your temper and said something nasty about them?

ALL people - no matter how nice they are, no matter how patient they are - have limits. If you harass someone for long enough, if you push someone far enough, if you force someone into a corner, if you make someone feel trapped, if you make someone feel like they have no escape, if you make someone feel like they have no options, if you make someone desperate, that person will eventually snap.

If you’ve gone your entire life without ever saying an angry thing during a heated moment, go ahead and cast stones. Otherwise, put yourself in my shoes; ask yourself how you’d feel if someone was antagonizing you for an extended period of time, and ask yourself how long you could endure it before you snapped and made angry remarks.

 

[Fatcat]

Someone please make him shut the fuck up.

 

[vertexwindi]

one old chat log does not represent the way I conduct myself on a daily basis.

but you still act the exact same as you did back then lmao

 

[AbduluCthuluZulu]

Spoiler

I saw some anons asking for memez or comics that will make this blog even more trigger-ry, so I’m on it

I’ll do memes and comics about yanderedev, yanderedev fans and his H8trs (these comes will come in a satirical way pls don’t get pissed off)

Looks like we might be getting some comics about us from fuckyeah-yanderedev. If he knows about this thread anyways. (Pretty sure he does so...]

He does. Someone made a comment about Kiwifarms on his blog, and a couple of minutes later Yanderedev edited the comment to say 'trolls' instead of 'Kiwifarms.'

 

[vertexwindi]

He does. Someone made a comment about Kiwifarms on his blog, and a couple of minutes later Yanderedev edited the comment to say 'trolls' instead of 'Kiwifarms.'

Trolls? No no no I'm Eva's biggest fan, I just want him to notice me.

 

[xqrstcvz]

Trolls? No no no I'm Eva's biggest fan, I just want him to notice me.

Just play Yandere Simulator since he uses "Senpai" as his shitty character in his videos anyway.

 

[Beaniebon]

On the YanSim reddit, someone made a thread asking why the windows in the school weren't transparent and the answer was apparently that YanDev tried and it was overloading the FPS (which is stupid as fuck). Someone pointed out it as dumb and shouldn't drain it that much and as it turns out whenever YanDev has a minor texture change, he literally changes the entire texture (ie: face expression changes, whole body texture changes instead of just the face). I don't know how much truth this has to it but I don't have trouble believing it.

Spoiler: Irrelevant

This is my favorite thread

 

[caffeinated_wench]

She looks like one of the dudes from Senpai Club!

*rates self late*

That's an insult to Senpai Club.

 

[Hellfire]

 

[Bloke Loaf]

 

[Saney]

The only thing more cancerous than Eva is his fans. The only thing more cancerous than his fans are the ones who sing and try to parody/ripoff those Japanesu Vocaloid songs.

Oh, she's not a fan, she's one of the voice actors he's hired.

 

[TyuErt]

Oh, she's not a fan, she's one of the voice actors he's hired.

Are you fucking serious

 

[puzzlemasterPandora]

Are you fucking serious

And according to him, she even did it completely independent of him 'cause she "LAHHHVES THE GAME SOOOOOOOO MUCH".

 

[my eyes hurt so much]

Are you fucking serious

And according to him, she even did it completely independent of him 'cause she "LAHHHVES THE GAME SOOOOOOOO MUCH".

Not only that but she is unpaid as well

 

[A Sign]

Geeze with his panty obsession I wont be suprised if he adds a PantyMON Go easter egg...