The Chosen One: "How did you create it?"
Myron: "Oh, in my lab. Next question?"
The Chosen One: "HOW did you develop it, smart guy?"
Myron: "Ah, Christ. Well...when I came across the Mordino family way back when, they were farming peyote cacti and trying to sell it to tourists as the 'Reno experience.' Total bullshit."
The Chosen One: "Go on."
Myron: "I mean, peyote? C'mon. It isn't even half the strength of, say, old school LSD."
The Chosen One: "Uh, about the Jet --?"
Myron: "Pus, a peyote trip is too long. The profit's in fast turn around and high addiction. Like, uh, barbitutates before the Big One, y'know?"
The Chosen One: "You mean barbiturates…like old school cocaine, crank, all that?"
Myron: "Right. Can I finish?"
The Chosen One: "Fine, fine. What was the problem with making barbiturates?"
Myron: "Problem is, in the new climate, we can't grow most of the veggies needed for the best drugs."
The Chosen One: "I'm with you."
Myron: "Couldn't grow coca plants, opium poppies -- and man did we try -- so we figured our best bet was shrooms."
The Chosen One: "Why?"
Myron: "You can grow 'em if you use plenty o' brahmin shit as fertilizer."
The Chosen One: "Speaking of plenty of shit...Go on."
Myron: "Plus, hallucinogens have low overhead, so I start experimenting with derivatives of lysergic acid diethylamide and psilocybin. Still…"
The Chosen One: "Still...?"
Myron: "Still, I really wanted to whip up a hard-hitter that didn't rely on veggie extracts. Man, was I an idiot, 'cause the answer turned out to BE the extracts, or, more precisely, what they were growing IN."
The Chosen One: "How do you mean?"
Myron: "See, old Jesus Mordino wanted something that the Redding miners would get addicted to fast AND make them work harder. So, I said, 'no prob,' right?"
The Chosen One: "Right. Go on."
Myron: "Well, wasn't too hard to come up with a good upper. A sample of that pre-war protein extract, corrupt it and bam -- decent amphetamine."
The Chosen One: "Uh, "protein extract?""
Myron: "Before the Big One some meat companies were experimenting with a cheap protein extract for growing food, but they had to ditch it. One little skin bacteria contaminates it, and it's all screwed."
The Chosen One: "Screwed? How?"
Myron: "The contaminated version acted like an amphetamine when ingested. Little side effect. Don't ask. It's, uh, technical."
The Chosen One: "So…did you somehow get a hold of this protein extract?"
Myron: "I didn't have to. When they first screwed up, they contaminated tons of that shit. And rather than ditch it, they fed it to their brahmin herds to try and recoup their losses."
The Chosen One: "So you used brahmin shit as fertilizer for the shrooms, except the pre-war protein contamination gives whatever shrooms grown in brahmin shit…certain extra ingredients?"
Myron: "Close..."
The Chosen One: "Yes...?"
Myron: "See, we start experimenting with the brahmin shit as fertilizer for the shrooms, except get this; then, we noticed the slaves working fertilizer vats were getting high from the fumes…"
The Chosen One: "So the fumes were enough to produce the effect?"
Myron: "Riiiight..."
The Chosen One: "I thought so."
Myron: "By putting tons of brahmin shit in the vats, we found out that the fumes give more than enough of a kick. Eureka. Literally. 'Course, we had to test to get the mix right…"
