FATAL 2: The Fataling

AnOminous said:
Well anyway, they're fucking knights so I'm asking them what they fucking want and it doesn't seem that bad so let's agree to it. This whole dangling from a lance thing isn't very much fun.
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The Green Knight pulls it out.

Caddchef said:
Playing the game as if we are regular, functional human beings with even passing knowledge of the arts and literature is obviously not in the spirit of F.A.T.A.L.!

Lazy-Carcass shouts "I dibn't do nuttin!" at the top of his lungs and gives the two knights the URL of his Patron account, hopin

AnOminous said:
I'm a literally retarded drunken troll with dementia who is vomiting drunk for the rest of his life. All I know is I'm looking at some green exceptional individual who has stuck a lance through me.
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Sir Gawain responds, "If you were to give us money, we would have to give you an equal sum of money in return!"

AnOminous said:
All I know is fuck these guys. Let's go hunting but when we find some game, I'm not killing them, I'm raping them.

Good luck sharing sloppy seconds, Green Knight!
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Just so you know, The Green Knight is cursed by Morgan Le Fey, so you're required to give him anything that you obtain while his hunt is on. Since it's hell, time never passes, so it's never off...

In the distance, you see a wounded deer. You can reach it and attack it in one turn.

Caddchef said:
This is FATAL though, one often leads to the other.
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I vomit in the face of whoever is closest to me and then we can move on from here.
 
AnOminous said:
I vomit in the face of whoever is closest to me and then we can move on from here.
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Sir Gawain responds by vomiting in your face, repaying you for the "gift" you have given him. It gets right in your mouth and you begin to choke on it.
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Sir Gawain responds by vomiting in your face, repaying you for the "gift" you have given him. It gets right in your mouth and you begin to choke on it.
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That's hot, for trolls. Enjoy it, @AnOminous. Stupid-shit points out the deer and asks "why is wun of dose in 'ell?"
 
I take a swig of the remaining mead to wash the vomit down.

Then I throw a hurlbat at the deer.
 
If the hurlbat doesn't kill it, Stupid-shit smacks the deer with his hammer.
Roll(3d10)-1:7,8,8,-1 Total:22
Roll(3d10)-1:10,8,8,-1 Total:25

Roll(3d10)+2:9,6,5,+2 Total:22*0.95=20.9*2.34=Total 48.9 (round to 50)
Roll(3d10)+2:3,10,10,+2 Total:25*0.95=23.75*2.34=Total 55.6 (round to 56)

Either way that deer is fucked.
 
Vlricus takes a long hard look back on his life and wonders how he ended up here, deer hunting in hell with such strange characters. All he wanted was to be a pimp. He also looks for the next animal to kill.
 
By the way, you guys do realize that you're in Dante's inferno and have met up with people guilty of the first sin, lust, right? You can just keep going. It would have probably been better if you hadn't killed Virgil, your guide, but there's nothing stopping you from just running.

By the way, for those of you who haven't read Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, you can't kill the Green Knight, and he takes his offer of exchanging whatever you find while hunting literally. He will exchange anything. Hence the vomit.

AnOminous said:
I take a swig of the remaining mead to wash the vomit down.

Then I throw a hurlbat at the deer.
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You break the deer's leg! Its kneecap shatters into 2 (out of 1d3) pieces!

ActualKiwi said:
If the hurlbat doesn't kill it, Stupid-shit smacks the deer with his hammer.
Roll(3d10)-1:7,8,8,-1 Total:22
Roll(3d10)-1:10,8,8,-1 Total:25

Roll(3d10)+2:9,6,5,+2 Total:22*0.95=20.9*2.34=Total 48.9 (round to 50)
Roll(3d10)+2:3,10,10,+2 Total:25*0.95=23.75*2.34=Total 55.6 (round to 56)

Either way that deer is fucked.
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Deer's already dead.

Burned Man said:
Vlricus takes a long hard look back on his life and wonders how he ended up here, deer hunting in hell with such strange characters. All he wanted was to be a pimp. He also looks for the next animal to kill.
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There are no other animals except for the knights' horses.

AnOminous said:
Especially because whatever is left of it, I start fucking.



You realize don't play FATAL is like the first rule of that, right?
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The Green Knight's horse slowly gets an erection as you do. It then approaches you to begin to mount you. The Green Knight tries to fight against his horse with all of his strength, but he's powerless and shocked as he watches his cursed hunt backfire on him in the most horrifying way possible. The horse begins to fuck and trample you, as per the spell.

You take 4 damage.

Your anus actually manages to survive the rape!

And now I can say that I've had to look up information about horse penises in order to GM a game. :cryblood:

ActualKiwi said:
That's hot, for trolls. Enjoy it, @AnOminous. Stupid-shit points out the deer and asks "why is wun of dose in 'ell?"
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I guess maybe the deer was a Hindu that failed to strive to be the best deer it could be?


@Radgy Chadobah This entire game is insane. It can't be played correctly. The rules fucking contradict each other or simply don't exist for at least 10% of the shit you'd want to be able to do in a fantasy game.
 
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Splendid Meat Sticks said:
By the way, you guys do realize that you're in Dante's inferno and have met up with people guilty of the first sin, lust, right? You can just keep going. It would have probably been better if you hadn't killed Virgil, your guide, but there's nothing stopping you from just running.

By the way, for those of you who haven't read Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, you can't kill the Green Knight, and he takes his offer of exchanging whatever you find while hunting literally. He will exchange anything. Hence the vomit.


You break the deer's leg! Its kneecap shatters into 2 (out of 1d3) pieces!


Deer's already dead.

There are no other animals except for the knights' horses.



The Green Knight's horse slowly gets an erection as you do. It then approaches you to begin to mount you. The Green Knight tries to fight against his horse with all of his strength, but he's powerless and shocked as he watches his cursed hunt backfire on him in the most horrifying way possible. The horse begins to fuck and trample you, as per the spell.

You take 4 damage.

Your anus actually manages to survive the rape!

And now I can say that I've had to look up information about horse penises in order to GM a game. :cryblood:

I guess maybe the deer was a Hindu that failed to strive to be the best deer it could be?


@Radgy Chadobah This entire game is insane. It can't be played correctly. The rules fucking contradict each other or simply don't exist for at least 10% of the shit you'd want to be able to do in a fantasy game.
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@Radgy Chadobah And on top of that there are rules for shit you really don't need to have rules for as well..
Is that horse just as unkillable as the green knight? Or can we wail on it.
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
The Green Knight's horse slowly gets an erection as you do. It then approaches you to begin to mount you. The Green Knight tries to fight against his horse with all of his strength, but he's powerless and shocked as he watches his cursed hunt backfire on him in the most horrifying way possible. The horse begins to fuck and trample you, as per the spell.

You take 4 damage.

Your anus actually manages to survive the rape!

And now I can say that I've had to look up information about horse penises in order to GM a game. :cryblood:

I guess maybe the deer was a Hindu that failed to strive to be the best deer it could be?
Click to expand...

I will note that my character actually has an impressive potential anal circumference.

Having had no chance up until now to use this fact, I actively thrust back into the horse rape, trying to get its cock as far up my ass as possible.
 
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ActualKiwi said:
@Radgy Chadobah And on top of that there are rules for shit you really don't need to have rules for as well..
Is that horse just as unkillable as the green knight? Or can we wail on it.
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It's killable.

AnOminous said:
I will note that my character actually has an impressive potential anal circumference.

Having had no chance up until now to use this fact, I actively thrust back into the horse rape, trying to get its cock as far up my ass as possible.
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Fuck you for making me have to go back and read the rules for what happens when a penis is too long tomorrow. :cryblood:
 
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Vlricus looks at the dead deer and then around and notices the lack of animals, "Hey wait a minute! There aren't any other deer here. Are you trying to con us?" He then notices the horse rape and forgets his train of thought.

Also someone rape the horse. I would but I'm too short.
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
It's killable.

Fuck you for making me have to go back and read the rules for what happens when a penis is too long tomorrow. :cryblood:
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Then stupid-shit does what he does best and wails on the horse from behind while it and its rider are distracted. Fulcrum 5, etc as usual.
Roll(3d10)-1: 9,9,9,-1 Total:26
Roll(3d10)-1: 9,9,10,-1 Total:27
Roll(3d10)+2: 8,9,10,+2 Total:29*0.95=27.55*2.34=65 DMG
Roll(3d10)+2:10,9,10,+2 Total:31*0.95=29.45=69 DMG
 
Burned Man said:
Vlricus looks at the dead deer and then around and notices the lack of animals, "Hey wait a minute! There aren't any other deer here. Are you trying to con us?" He then notices the horse rape and forgets his train of thought.

Also someone rape the horse. I would but I'm too short.
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Somehow, you remember a funny little girl named Dynastia from your past life. You wonder what she would do in this situation.
 
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Burned Man said:
Vlricus looks at the dead deer and then around and notices the lack of animals, "Hey wait a minute! There aren't any other deer here. Are you trying to con us?" He then notices the horse rape and forgets his train of thought.

Also someone rape the horse. I would but I'm too short.
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"Aye aye captain!" Lazy-Carcass rapes the horse as ordered!
 
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