Money FB 12/19 Blarb is selling a tractor

[Mariposa Electrique]

I guess Barb isn't getting Chris any presents this year.

What can you get an obese rapidly aging crossdresser, who just happens to be your son. For Barb, she may as well be shopping for bigfoot because Chris has become an unrecognizable creature almost six feet tall.

 

[Suicidal Emo Panda]

But, thats a fucking lawnmower, not a tractor

The :autism: rises his perspective on reality to a whole different level.

 

[InTheSidePocket]

I guess Barb isn't getting Chris any presents this year.

Not killing him is her present.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

The :autism: rises his perspective on reality to a whole different level.

I wonder if it's similar to how Chris' perception on his own gender is screwed up as well.

 

[Suicidal Emo Panda]

I wonder if it's similar to how Chris' perception on his own gender is screwed up as well.

I think it's clearly abundant the moment he claims to be a full-on woman soul while flipping his thinned down hair.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Imagine being an innocent person with no prior knowledge of the Chandlers inquiring about the the mower. Imagine back and forthing a time and date via email to go and look at the mower. Now imagine knocking on the door only to have Chris come out and greet you with the putrid stench of the hoard wafting out behind him.

I'd expect to be on Candid Camera

 

[The American Hedgehog]

One lawnmower from Barb, three Pokemon cards and a VHS tape from Chris, versus $200,000 of debt.

I hope they put more crap up for sale so we can see more of the hoard.

 

[Permab&]

And are clearly pedants when it comes to labeling agriculture equipment.

"Boy, did you just call my combine harvester a simple combine? Best get runnin' before I start shootin'"

If I had a nickel...

 

[idosometimes]

It's a "garden tractor". You take off the thing on the bottom and use the spinning wheel as a PTO of sorts so you can add a snowblower or something to the front.

This probs isn't worth $600. Old lawn equipment is incredibly cheap. I tried looking for what a riding lawn mower goes for in the C-ville area, but laughed too much at the cwc-pic. How can you come across that and not catch the giggles?

 

[Jace E. Denton]

>powers on well

I can almost guarantee it has no gas in it, no oil in it and a battery that died 3 years ago.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

Tractor is the autistic term for lawnmower.

The :autism: rises his perspective on reality to a whole different level.

I wonder if it's similar to how Chris' perception on his own gender is screwed up as well.

As I've already stated in this thread, the manufacturer calls this thing a "lawn tractor". Chris is just copy-pasting the product label. He's not going "Mmm, yeah dat's a tractor" just because he thinks it looks like a traditional farm tractor.

 

[Holdek]

He could have at least named it something cool in the description like "Lil' Son-Chu."

He's not going "Mmm, yeah dat's a tractor" just because he thinks it looks like a traditional farm tractor.

Maybe he's calling it that because he thinks his fandase on the Kiwi Farms are a good market for farm equipment.

 

[AnOminous]

It's a "garden tractor". You take off the thing on the bottom and use the spinning wheel as a PTO of sorts so you can add a snowblower or something to the front.

This probs isn't worth $600. Old lawn equipment is incredibly cheap. I tried looking for what a riding lawn mower goes for in the C-ville area, but laughed too much at the cwc-pic. How can you come across that and not catch the giggles?
View attachment 164440

It might be worth that if it had been kept in pristine condition and you couldn't even tell it had been used. But it's been sitting around with old fluid in it, any gas in it has long since broken down, there may be engine corrosion, and it's likely in shitty shape for something that has barely been used. Thing is, engines are meant to run frequently and long periods of idleness are very bad for them.

 

[Scarecrow]

It's quite eerie actually, it's almost like the ghost of Bob's work and legacy as a father and provider. It is now being sold, the shards of his once tidy suburban dream, sold by his layabout tranny son, arguably the opposite of the homophobic, working man that Bob was. I'm sure he's weeping quietly, wherever he is now. All his work, all is love and hard earned money that was so tenderly showered upon young Christopher and his wife, was all pointless in the end. He died knowing his son was a failure. Perhaps he languishes in the void now knowing that it will only get worse. I heard that Bob liked to take care for the garden, perhaps he and young Chrissy enjoyed the crisp chill of lemonade after a hard day of outdoor work, perhaps they rode around on the very same tractor that has been dragged out of whatever decaying recess of the Branchland Court jungle it was left to rot in, perhaps Bob looked into Christopher's eyes with the same hope his own father shown for him, as they idled the summer's day away on the back of a red tractor. Maybe there was a time when the rusted shell of this lawnmower meant more than just money for plastic transformers toys, but I doubt Barb or Chris would remember that.

 

[InTheSidePocket]

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

It's quite eerie actually, it's almost like the ghost of Bob's work and legacy as a father and provider. It is now being sold, the shards of his once tidy suburban dream, sold by his layabout tranny son, arguably the opposite of the homophobic, working man that Bob was. I'm sure he's weeping quietly, wherever he is now. All his work, all is love and hard earned money that was so tenderly showered upon young Christopher and his wife, was all pointless in the end. He died knowing his son was a failure. Perhaps he languishes in the void now knowing that it will only get worse. I heard that Bob liked to take care for the garden, perhaps he and young Chrissy enjoyed the crisp chill of lemonade after a hard day of outdoor work, perhaps they rode around on the very same tractor that has been dragged out of whatever decaying recess of the Branchland Court jungle it was left to rot in, perhaps Bob looked into Christopher's eyes with the same hope his own father shown for him, as they idled the summer's day away on the back of a red tractor. Maybe there was a time when the rusted shell of this lawnmower meant more than just money for plastic transformers toys, but I doubt Barb or Chris would remember that.

They bought this mower a month after Bob died.

 

[thismanlies]

He could have at least named it something cool in the description like "Lil' Son-Chu."

Maybe if he painted all over it like he did his PS3, some ween would bite.

 

[mota]

The tractor vs. mower discussion confused me when I owned one of these things. It's called a "lawn tractor" since it has a hood on the front where the engine is and can pull a cart or whatever. A "riding mower" is different, you sit on the engine and the steering is way up at the front of the thing. When buying parts you needed to know this otherwise your model wouldn't cross-reference the right parts.

Also there is no reason to buy a Craftsman anything, it's just expensive crap they sell to old people because it was a good brand 40 years ago.

 

[Mick92]

I woldn't buy anything from Chris' household ever, much less anything that has been in contact with his nasty ass.
It probably didn't get much use, but still.

 

[Darndirty]

>powers on well

I can almost guarantee it has no gas in it, no oil in it and a battery that died 3 years ago.

On the contrary I'd be willing to bet it's still got gas in it from when bob was alive. Which means that gas is worthless and needs to be drained out.