FB 5/28 CWC responds to a bully named Johan

Status
Not open for further replies.
Here's my take- I think the video he sent them was just the JULAY sex tape. Pretty disappointing if so, but it makes sense. I still hope we'll get a new leaked video but after reading that in the transcript I'm starting to doubt it.

I guess he's trying to advertise himself as a stud for this, but I wonder if he would be comfortable sending an old 2009 Chris sextape and not a current lesbian souled Christine one?

I imagine he made a new one during the same exchanges that had him show his frozen jizz.
 
For those who couldn't hear over the sick beats, here's the FULL transcript:

Some real quality Chris content in here, especially as it relates to sex with smurfs and transmitting AIDS.

My fucking head...

"Hello ladies and gentlemen on the internet and my Sonichu and Rosechu fanbase, this is Christine Chandler coming to you live from the room once again, and I'm about to tell ya a story that is direct and true... 'bout what happened recently. And it'll be demonstrated through... the minifigures.

So, that's to tell you the truth. So, my associate has introduced me to a lesbian couple whose looking to have their own little daughters... their little daughters, mkay? And they... mnam(?) was delighted to be made to be designated as a parent. But unfortunatly throughout the few weeks, the initial few weeks there were miscommunications and we ca- an- and it was kinda spotty catchin' up with one another and one of them wanted to be artificially but the other one wanted natural. But, tonight, uh, earlier tonight, they mutually settled on both being natural, so we were plannin' on settin' up... because, uh, earlier in that day, was there- I think mighta second candidate though, so that left me feeling sad. But he didn't show up, and they liked the video that I sent them demonstrating my sexual prowess. I be(?) quite... the acrobat.

But she- that made me feel delighted.

So yeah, we were on the online chatroom, we were settin' up. We were talkin' about our meetin', and then comes along, dur- bit- dur- new guy(?). He were be- were quite intrusive it was very rude.

*Gorilla having a stroke*

Yeah I'm Christine Chandler... Charmed I'm sure... charmed.

*More gorilla noises* yer tha big gu- yer da bee guy, er da tryna ee *gorilla noises* it sallts blah blah blah blah blah blah bla bla bluh *ape audio*

Yeah an I can tell from my way aside from... the obvious that what he's said among which, yeah... you're a bad guy, you bullied me.

Anyway so anyway we were... so he was attacking me and trying to prove himself mighty and courageous like Captain Copernicus Quark (a Ratchet and Clank character) or somebody dumb like that. huurhrh herr lookat me I'm too bury- *insane sounds*

Aaanyway it was just a whole bunch like that but, they were gettin' tired of it and I was gettin tired a hearin' abou- hearin' it. and then he realized, oh wait, you're... da Christian Chandler?

The original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, that's me.

Er, well I got dirt on you *a bunch of stuttering* you haven't leaned about this bad thing ya did.

Oh, what? *pauses to pose minifig* you mean that time I sat bare-ass on a cake?... sat bare ass on a cake? What do ya think about that?

err? That threw me off I was not expecting that *masculine mumbling*

Oh, and how about the time I... took pieces of my- pieces of my medallion and shoved up my behind. I am human enough to admit and take the blame for the mistakes I made.

*Filthy male muttering*

and he was bringing up the image, the picture... of the n- notorious M.E.G. and me and my (finger ends?) up there... and I was like oh yeah that vi- that vintage old thing. Vintage, so old. I've drawn more since then. And my e- other exes, I mentioned two of them by name. And he was like:

What? *inane sounds*

And on just a note, we are talking jibberish with this guy 'cause we don't remember exactly everything that was said... but anyway, aside from that to try to prove himself to be the... more better male he attacked me verbally, with an onslaughts of insults and whatnot, like fireballs. And I defended my- and... I held my ground. *pauses to fiddle with his fucking toys* I hold my ground, I, took two(?) attacks. *pew pew* one attack at a time. *pew pew* I defended myself with the shield. *pew pew pew... pew... pew pew* And not stooping down to his level how he was phrasing his attacks... I offered my own, style and elegant... repertoire of, offence. *pew pew pew* Hit him a bit hard too. Agai- some of them did not hit as hard. What? not every attack is perfect. so, anyway then he was like

Well then I issue a challenge... you say yo- you say, from your video, you're like an acrobat, but I can do so much better sexually so, we each upload a video... And the person- and, the person that gets more votes from the community on the internet wins

And I was like, what? you're not gonna let the girl- you're not gonna... let our ladyfriends have the say in the matter

Yeah, well, you know what? *complete vocal diarrhea*

*sigh* nd a- anyway in the meanwhile they were tired of listening to all this and I was tired of listening to all this

*sounds of what we can only assume is Chris's inner monologue*

*coughs and clears his throat* So anyway, point is, uhmm *sigh* even though tis challenge seemed quite pointless and unnecessary and time consuming I... teh... I, well let's do it, I accept your challenge.

Finally, I'm gonna upload my video and I'm gonna (something) you. *language of a subhuman male*

And fortunately I had already do- uh- made a video for la- for the lesbian couple, which pr- which demonstrated quite well my, acrobatic, sexual prowess, thats goes yet to be unappreciated especially since I was self-taught.... but anyway then so... tokamai(?), so anyway, so we all left the chatroom and, yadda yadda yadda. I talked to my associate and a little birdie told em, a little birdie came in and, told me about ooohO dark past about Mr. Johan. That's his name, Johanson, but as like to call 'em Johan. Hey everybody! look. it's Johan from the Smurfs. Hey! where's Peewee Johan? Go ahead and make all the Smurf jokes you want! He laid so many s- he said he was a Smurftastic lay, or, satisfy Thirty Women! He laid so many Smurfs, I wonder how many of them little smurfs he laid actually like this guy... and now everybody else! along with me or in your own words! make up your own Smurftastic jokes about Johan! Even the more obvious one that ya'll be making up in a moment when I tell you when ya hear that this little birdie told me *cheep cheep cheep* little birdie tell me the dirt! okay, Here's the dirt.

This guy, was, an ex, GAY PORNSTAR! Yep! laid with another male *blubbery sex noises* (some stupid line I can't understand)

And, guess what? *confused ogre noise* aaanother big thing that's gonna take this g- is gonna take this... big- is gonna take this guy down a notch, guess what? he got FIRED from one of his... things. he got fired from one of his movies and you know why he got fired? Why? He failed the STD test!... and apparently n order to be fired from any porn act that STD had to be something lethal.

Possibly leathal as say something like AAAAIIIIDDDSSS!?!

And yet, among the disquestion(?) that was talked about earlier. He said that he had no STDs, but the way he acted and behaved and all that... apparently he told fifey lies! filthy lies! he lied!

So, with that, we'll leave it at that. Everybody in the audience, yes, high functioning autistic. But you know what? Even a normal person, normal father, normal mother, whichever, can give birth to an autisti- an autistic child. And it's just about as much risk as me because I'm high functioning autistic, high functioning. so therefore, hi- there's a higher- probability of a child being normal, so there.

So if your votes on... rather or not who has the better sexual style and activity, ability. Johan, by the way, did you do one of my- PEEWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... heh, merptiow(?), merptiowek(?), mh, anyway, this guy, or, me! And they have praised me as acrobatic! Truthfully so, thank you very much it was the ho- it made my night. Hear that. There will be a voting page coming up soon! And my video on this channel and his video on his channel. There will be links in the voting page.

So, that'll pretty much do it for now. Details coming soon. Thank you. Goodnight. *bullshit cartoon noises*

I cannot believe I just powered through all this horseshit. I'm gonna go finish my whiskey.


Jesus Christ the forum needs to get you a beer for all of that.
 
I guess he's trying to advertise himself as a stud for this, but I wonder if he would be comfortable sending an old 2009 Chris sextape and not a current lesbian souled Christine one?

I imagine he made a new one during the same exchanges that had him show his frozen jizz.

Is it possible he made one with his pillow Waifu that he bought for that purpose? Chris really is incapable of learning from experience.
 
I eagerly await the release of the "self taught acrobatic sexual prowess video".
The amazing part of Chris is that no one who knows about him thought this was particularly strange. Like of fucking course he would talk about being a self taught master(mistress?) in his sexual endeavors despite only being skilled in hooker and Fanta related stuff.
 
I realized what his hair reminds me of
600-cocker-spaniel-dog_640x482.jpg
 
The amusing point now being that despite years of insisting he's a real woman, Johan has now prompted Chris to 'compete' to be the manliest man. Which he has seized upon with both hands because he thinks it means he'll get lesbian sex, thereby proving how much of a fake tranny he is. The layers to this trolling plan are surprisingly complex, actually.
 
The amusing point now being that despite years of insisting he's a real woman, Johan has now prompted Chris to 'compete' to be the manliest man. Which he has seized upon with both hands because he thinks it means he'll get lesbian sex, thereby proving how much of a fake tranny he is. The layers to this trolling plan are surprisingly complex, actually.

He's like a sexual chameleon...tries to act effeminate to da ladies, but will try to out-butch any dude that shows up on the scene. I'm also fairly certain that all this shit is made up from OPL, since anyone not as naive as Chris would see that a lesbian couple wouldn't give two shits about sexual ability, only the ability to pump a baby inside.
 
Shitty blaring music aside, this has to be the most incoherent, nonsensical video I've seen from him in a long time. Glad to know Chris' hatred towards homosexual males is still alive as ever.

Who's this Johan guy exactly? Kudos to him for challenging Chris to whatever he challenged him to.
 
Last edited:
All I'm getting from this is 'all trolls are BRUTE males, you mysogonists do realise a CWC troll can be a female as well right?'

Why does the gender of the troll matter? And also asides from that Jackie and Kacey were both bigger trolls of Chris who regularly tried to make him prove himself, half the male trolls he was aware of were nowhere near as bad as those two.
I believe they meant troll like Tito who actively does nothing but provoke as opposed to Jackie who was a troll but disguised it to Chris. I hope that makes sense.

Either way this sounds bonkers. Hyped for a transcript.
 
I BWWWM BMM BMMtried to fBWAOWWWBUMMBUMMMiter oBOOMHBOOMHBOOMHut the dance clubWOAAAWWWHH music butBOOMHBOOMHBOOMH I just wasDOONDOONDOONDEE DOONn't able to decipher BOOMHBOOMHBOOMHmost of whWAAOOOGGHHNNGat he waBOOMHBOOMHBOOMHs saying.

I think part of it was that he said he sent the trolls a video "demonstrating my sexual prowess".

For Julies Eyes Only II: Electric Boogaloo
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back