FB 6/14 - Pristine defined

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There is no way that anyone who showers daily would have a greasy rats nest of hair like Chris does, or that oily sheen that is on his face in most of his photos. Chris is a liar.
 
Chris believes he deserves praise for every basic thing that most adults take for granted. I wonder if he gloats to Barb every morning he wakes up without having pissed the bed.

That's because he's been treated like a small child his whole life. People have heaped praise upon him for the tiniest accomplisments and he's been conditioned to expect it, which is why he threw a fit at his graduation ceremony. He actually expected an award because everyone treated him like a toddler being potty trained who went on the toilet instead of shitting his pants.

Which brings us to the fact that anyone who shits their panties cannot be considered "pristine".
 
I tried a rhyming dictionary for 'pristine' and the only words that came up were 'cysteine' and 'sistine'. Well, that and a rather amusing suggestion:
image.jpg
 
1- So I guess I'll be that asshole but what the hell does pristinely not perfect mean?

2- What's up with Chris' continued insistence that she isn't perfect? It's a trend that's been going on for quite awhile now.
 
"I like being clean after my daily shower with shampoo, conditioner, soap, and water."

Considering the verbiage I now believe Chris applies his shampoo, conditioner, and soap before getting into the shower, then staying in just long enough to allow the water to wash it away.

He probably doesn't even scrub or lather, he just thinks merely applying these substances makes you clean. I'm apt to believe that he doesn't know how showers actually work, especially seeing how he shaves.
 
So after a normal daily shower he would define himself as 'Pristine Christine'.....given what we know about his actual bathing habits can we shorten it to suit that fact and call him "Prissy Chrissy"?
Then when he pouts about BLUE ARMS, he's Pissy Chrissy.
 
i must read that
Chris on 'ad nauseum' in Feb 4 2012 said:
I googled "Ad Nauseam", because I did not understand it. I found it means if you tell an untruth, or something like that, over and over, it becomes true.
Chris then went on to say that he learned from the "wise input" of Barb that she wound up ignoring Bob's repeated retelling of his "fantasies" to her, which no doubt involved a clean house and a wife who helped with the cooking.

Chris on 'prospects' in March 12 2015 said:
'Prospects' has a few definitions, but the usual definition focused is 'a chance at success or wealth'. [...] So the very question, 'Do you have any prospects?', is as easily answered as 'I have as good of prospect as you or anyone else.'

As we can see, Chris likes to use strained (or downright stupid) definitions of words he only recently finds out about. It's similar to the issues he has with "naive."
 
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A good spray of Axe or Orion Body, probably. Idk if he ever actually said he's substituting actual showers with them but according to the wiki the comics(and his body odor) seem to imply it heavily.

That's sad if he just takes Axe body spray baths. Where I come from those are called juggalo showers.
 
Way to look up a word several days after you used it to describe yourself, Chris.

Edit: I'm Christine and this is my greasy sheen.

At least he's showering now

Hopefully...

I don't think he knows how to properly shower. If he is being honest...that's a big if...and is showering daily then his hair would be in much better shape and he wouldn't have that greasy sheen to his skin. I always thought it might be because he took a tub bath and didn't rinse himself off afterward but now that he says he's showering I don't know--he's got to be lying or just doesn't know proper hygene.
 
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