FB 6/14 - Pristine defined

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NotAKitty said:
I tried a rhyming dictionary for 'pristine' and the only words that came up were 'cysteine' and 'sistine'. Well, that and a rather amusing suggestion:
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Not-so pristine Christine
On the cover of her magazine
Jivin' like a philistine teen on cocaine
And smellin' like sardine in kerosene and gasoline
Pretty keen, but so unclean
With a mind that's so obscene
Anger worse than Charlie Sheen
So unforeseen, though is routine
For Christine to be overseen
In her outfit of polyethylene
Do I hate her?
Nah, man. I ain't no ween.
 

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Mashed Potato Grenade said:
Not-so pristine Christine
On the cover of her magazine
Jivin' like a philistine teen on cocaine
And smellin' like sardine in kerosene and gasoline
Pretty keen, but so unclean
With a mind that's so obscene
Anger worse than Charlie Sheen
So unforeseen, though is routine
For Christine to be overseen
In her outfit of polyethylene
Do I hate her?
Nah, man. I ain't no ween.
Click to expand...

vocaroo.com/i/s0Oxd3X3iYZk

I'm sorry.

EDIT: Dear god I have no idea how to link this
 
He doesn't know how to bathe. A common problem with shut-in autists who have zero personal grooming education. He should have figured this out eons ago but, nope, Chris. I bet areas that need washing go unwashed with just water splashed on. Long hair, from what I understand, is a total bitch to keep clean. And you know he doesn't do it properly.
 
Maybe Chris is trying to say he's perfectly imperfect? I'm honestly guessing though.
 
Crikey said:
Well his vajayjay is untouched and you know that anal doesn't count even if it's the physical manifestation of your headcanon.
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Nobody in their right (or wrong) mind would think of doing anal to Chris. Bad things would happen.
JUST IMAGINE IT :cryblood:
 
"I like being clean after my daily shower with shampoo, conditioner, soap, and water."

This will go down as one of the biggest lies in history, along with "If you swallow gum, it will stay in your stomach for 7 years" and "Dear sir, you do not know me, but I am a Nigerian prince..."
 
drmccoy said:
He doesn't know how to bathe. A common problem with shut-in autists who have zero personal grooming education. He should have figured this out eons ago but, nope, Chris. I bet areas that need washing go unwashed with just water splashed on. Long hair, from what I understand, is a total bitch to keep clean. And you know he doesn't do it properly.
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Its not too hard if youre not lazy. My guess is that if he does lather up be probably conditions his entire head, scalp in all. Conditioner is really only for the strands, not scalp and roots. That causes oiliness and general ick.
If he dragged a brush through his hair in the shower after shampooing he probably wouldnt need conditioner anyway.

The hair situation isnt helped by the fact his hair provably isnt cut to any style, just let to grow out and frizzy which means styling is harder and your hair just looks frayed out.
 
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