- Joined
- Aug 3, 2021
Early overall impressions:
Tural has no culture. If it feels uniquely bad to you and it's hard to place why, this is it.
Every single quest and event has been a trope with a coat of paint - tacos, alpaca, mezcal, etc, but none of these places have any actual culture or interplay. The introductions of Heavensward, Stormblood, Shadowbringers, and even Endwalker all took care to introduce local cultures and explain certain conventions, and yet here it's just tropes. The greeting thing is the exact same thing as the Dwarves. Renaming all of the races makes next to zero sense and serves no purpose, unlike in Shadowbringers. There is so much to pull inspiration from: mesoamerican tradition, spanish colonialism, the bolivarian revolutions, the history of coups and militant radicalism, and the overthrow of the military juntas -- and it's just generic fantasy tropes. That a five year old would think are brilliant. with tACOS XDDD!!!
Most of these quests, and their presentation, rival ARR for tediousness, pointlessness, and... being horrendously basic. This has been a lurking problem - bloated MSQ timewasters - but these are especially bad. And the plot is going nowhere: I still don't understand why Tural poses a threat to any other nation, when it lacks a deep-sea navy in the first place. There is no reason to give a shit. The ShB postgame, with that whole sequence dedicated to Limsa's political evolution, feels like it was a million years ago.
once again, who the fuck is this for? who the fuck is any of this for? did AI write this script?
Tural has no culture. If it feels uniquely bad to you and it's hard to place why, this is it.
Every single quest and event has been a trope with a coat of paint - tacos, alpaca, mezcal, etc, but none of these places have any actual culture or interplay. The introductions of Heavensward, Stormblood, Shadowbringers, and even Endwalker all took care to introduce local cultures and explain certain conventions, and yet here it's just tropes. The greeting thing is the exact same thing as the Dwarves. Renaming all of the races makes next to zero sense and serves no purpose, unlike in Shadowbringers. There is so much to pull inspiration from: mesoamerican tradition, spanish colonialism, the bolivarian revolutions, the history of coups and militant radicalism, and the overthrow of the military juntas -- and it's just generic fantasy tropes. That a five year old would think are brilliant. with tACOS XDDD!!!
Most of these quests, and their presentation, rival ARR for tediousness, pointlessness, and... being horrendously basic. This has been a lurking problem - bloated MSQ timewasters - but these are especially bad. And the plot is going nowhere: I still don't understand why Tural poses a threat to any other nation, when it lacks a deep-sea navy in the first place. There is no reason to give a shit. The ShB postgame, with that whole sequence dedicated to Limsa's political evolution, feels like it was a million years ago.
Putting Krile's performance next to Wuk Lamat's is baffling, and I've come to despise Koana's VA performance as well. Yes, objectively, he sounds better than Wuk, but there's all these weird, unnecessary pauses and breathy sighs and he just sounds like a generic anime character. And this holds for every character this man voices, who all sound the same, so it isn't just Koana being a brooding character.
...Why am I seeing things my character couldn't possibly be aware of? Like, previously, when these sequences happened, they'd been in the form of other characters describing a story or telling the WoL what happened - or the Echo showing it. The story now is just granting me omnipotence? Or... am I, the audience, supposed to know, but the character doesn't? Because... they can't establish tension unless they do this? Jesus christ, this is so amateur.
Go collect the RED or GREEN or BLUE crystal! Can you figure it out??? Can you figure which one is the cool-air crystal? OHH YOU DID? GOOD JOB! It's like fucking blue's clues: are they simplifying all the jobs because they think their audience is not figuratively but instead literally infantile?
THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE EQUIVALENT OF A FAN (WHICH NO ONE COULD THINK OF AND I NEVER THOUGHT TO ASK FOR, SOMEHOW), I WILL NOW CRAFT AN ARTISINAL WORK IN LITERALLY FIVE SECONDS. REMEMBER WHEN WE PAID THE BAREST HOMAGE TO REALISM AND THINKING THINGS THROUGH?
God, I can't stop thinking about how Heavensward and Shadowbringers and even fucking Stormblood all paid attention to the idea of making their worlds and nations make sense. Tural is such a fucking nonsense mishmash that has no consistency or logic, with a zillion back-breaking problems that... somehow, somehow no-one bothered to figure out or had the agency to resolve without a drooling retard coming along?
"why don't you just commission from abroad" -> five seconds later -> "oh, I see, they can't materialize apparent masterpieces in five seconds abroad" oh, that's why? not, I don't know, the perilous sea-routes that were established literally at the beginning of the game posing a serious impediment for trade and necessitating some manner of technology (which the lominsians would absolutely leap to provide) that gets in the way of large-scale international commerce and trade? sortof like how ship technology had to improve to facilitate large-scale trade on the atlantic?? fuck who the fuck wrote this a toddler
the two-headed retard loudly announces his dastardly plan -> "I think that guy's up to something" ???
oh, I get it, it was "bring your son to work and let him write the storyline to your flagship product" day at work or something
"do we have to use the boat again?" I mean, do you? there's aetherytes right, or did I skip something that explains why they only work for me? did the writers forget about them again?
if a militaristic tural would pose a threat to the rest of the established world, such that Wuk's "duhhhh i like peace i guess" stick is enough to actually sway people... where are the doman spies? Where are the ANY spies? Where is the intrigue from the other great powers? Forgot they all existed? Whoops!
...was there some kind of jealousy at the popularity of the hildibrand quests? Because these incessant, endless attempts at comedy are just so fucking bad, and miss that the whole fucking point of that line is to stand out from how serious the setting otherwise is.
"What you propose is a mockery of peace!" well, yes, retard, advocating war is quite literally not advocating peace.
you are randomly stopped on the road by someone, who turns out to be nefarious!!! they really couldn't think of any other way to add tension, holy shit
the only way to make this interesting would be if koana was the one who orchestrated the caper, specifically to get a gauge on the competition - and of course "interesting" is relative here, I don't think I've been engaged for a single moment in this story. it's so fucking bad.
nope, of course not, straightforward "everyone was retarded and didn't accompany wuk a hot five meters"
this sequence with the bandits is where I tap out for tonight. this is at the same level of quality and depth as ARR.
...Why am I seeing things my character couldn't possibly be aware of? Like, previously, when these sequences happened, they'd been in the form of other characters describing a story or telling the WoL what happened - or the Echo showing it. The story now is just granting me omnipotence? Or... am I, the audience, supposed to know, but the character doesn't? Because... they can't establish tension unless they do this? Jesus christ, this is so amateur.
Go collect the RED or GREEN or BLUE crystal! Can you figure it out??? Can you figure which one is the cool-air crystal? OHH YOU DID? GOOD JOB! It's like fucking blue's clues: are they simplifying all the jobs because they think their audience is not figuratively but instead literally infantile?
THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE EQUIVALENT OF A FAN (WHICH NO ONE COULD THINK OF AND I NEVER THOUGHT TO ASK FOR, SOMEHOW), I WILL NOW CRAFT AN ARTISINAL WORK IN LITERALLY FIVE SECONDS. REMEMBER WHEN WE PAID THE BAREST HOMAGE TO REALISM AND THINKING THINGS THROUGH?
God, I can't stop thinking about how Heavensward and Shadowbringers and even fucking Stormblood all paid attention to the idea of making their worlds and nations make sense. Tural is such a fucking nonsense mishmash that has no consistency or logic, with a zillion back-breaking problems that... somehow, somehow no-one bothered to figure out or had the agency to resolve without a drooling retard coming along?
"why don't you just commission from abroad" -> five seconds later -> "oh, I see, they can't materialize apparent masterpieces in five seconds abroad" oh, that's why? not, I don't know, the perilous sea-routes that were established literally at the beginning of the game posing a serious impediment for trade and necessitating some manner of technology (which the lominsians would absolutely leap to provide) that gets in the way of large-scale international commerce and trade? sortof like how ship technology had to improve to facilitate large-scale trade on the atlantic?? fuck who the fuck wrote this a toddler
the two-headed retard loudly announces his dastardly plan -> "I think that guy's up to something" ???
oh, I get it, it was "bring your son to work and let him write the storyline to your flagship product" day at work or something
"do we have to use the boat again?" I mean, do you? there's aetherytes right, or did I skip something that explains why they only work for me? did the writers forget about them again?
if a militaristic tural would pose a threat to the rest of the established world, such that Wuk's "duhhhh i like peace i guess" stick is enough to actually sway people... where are the doman spies? Where are the ANY spies? Where is the intrigue from the other great powers? Forgot they all existed? Whoops!
...was there some kind of jealousy at the popularity of the hildibrand quests? Because these incessant, endless attempts at comedy are just so fucking bad, and miss that the whole fucking point of that line is to stand out from how serious the setting otherwise is.
"What you propose is a mockery of peace!" well, yes, retard, advocating war is quite literally not advocating peace.
you are randomly stopped on the road by someone, who turns out to be nefarious!!! they really couldn't think of any other way to add tension, holy shit
the only way to make this interesting would be if koana was the one who orchestrated the caper, specifically to get a gauge on the competition - and of course "interesting" is relative here, I don't think I've been engaged for a single moment in this story. it's so fucking bad.
nope, of course not, straightforward "everyone was retarded and didn't accompany wuk a hot five meters"
this sequence with the bandits is where I tap out for tonight. this is at the same level of quality and depth as ARR.
once again, who the fuck is this for? who the fuck is any of this for? did AI write this script?
