Finding ADF: The Game

SpessCaptain

Salty Space Bitch
Retired Staff
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kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 1, 2015
This is a loosely played tactical game. I usually make the rules as I go along.
I will be DMing and I need some Players. If you wish to join post a little about your character and their class. I give brownie points for Lore, Backstory and other Roleplay bullshit.
Yes you can be as retarded as you want.

If you do not reply, I will play your character automatically after each update.

We need a leader for each three military Squads and a few troops to fight the menace that is ADF.
Your objective is to scour every bridge in portland for ADF.
You must take out ADF's troops.
There will be dangers ahead.

4cfbeca2cb.png


Alpha, Beta and Charlie team is currently subjected to land at Portland International Airport soon.
PortlandMap.png

Classes:
Leader: Directs Squad's direction and path, they also get to name the Team and are able to split the team up.
Specialist: Most Offensive, you deal a lot more damage than any other class. You roll from another table.
Engineer: Can repair vehicles and equipment, create entrenchments, create traps.
Recon: Can scout ahead of the squad silently with little chance of being attacked, and adds a +1 to Squad Reflex.
Demolitions: Blows up shit, allowing you to pass through buildings or other obstructions.
Medic: Can revive downed squadmates, heal.

Alpha Team: 6/6 - FULL
Leader: ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ Pander as Pander - AR-15
Specialist: Dynastia as Trannykiller88 - Misgendering.
Engineer: hurrhurrhurr as hatchetman420 - Hatchet
Recon: Ziltoid - Portland State University lanyard.
Demolitions: Randal Fragg as Derrick "Hangman" Dee - M82 Barret Sniper rifle, baseball bat.
Medic: Spooky-Scary - NHLPA approved golf putter (resembling a hockey stick)

Beta Team: 6/6 - FULL

Leader: Morbid Boredom as Susan Gibson - Books.
Specialist: Saul Goodman as Mike Ehrmantraut - Hand-to-Hand
Engineer: Phil Ken Sebben - Illegal Bootleg Fireworks and Dynamite.
Recon: GREEDY FIREMAN as Brad Stormrooster - Knife, Waterpistol with chems.
Demolitions: lolwut as 101-WU7 - Grenades/Tomahawk
Medic: Darky - burlap sack full of used needles, shovel

Charlie Team: 0/6 - Unlocked!
Leader:
Specialist:
Engineer:
Recon:
Demolitions:
Medic:


In the 21st Century a new war is becoming real. Ahuviya Harel, also known as ADF, has begun his nightmare rule with his Tranny Team of Elite Warriors. They have begun to take over Portland, and ADF is attempting to wage war upon the world.

You are apart of the Stryker Mercenary Company, you have been sent by your benefactors - Mr. Kiwi and an entity known as Slaughterhouse - to end this threat. As a Stryker Mercenary, you have a strict guideline: No killing civilians, no overkill and to be as professional and clean as possible.

Who are you and what is your weapon of choice?

Spotting Enemies: Roll 1d6 - 1: Enemy spots you, 2-3: Both sides spot each other, 4-6: Squad undetected.

Combat:
Prior-Combat (who goes first): 1d6 - 1-3 Squad goes first, raises to 1-4 with Recon within Squad. Enemy will always go first if spotting your squad first.

Automatic Team Responce (Reflex): If ambushed or autonomous roll a 1d6 for each squad member. If the dice lands on 5-6 there is an automatic response from that member.

Hit: 1d6 - rolling a 4-6 is a hit.

Damage (non-Specialist):
1-6: Legs - odds left, Evens right, cripples target.
7-14: Chest - higher number higher position. flip coin for heart or lung shot at 13-14 for instant death.
15-18: Arms - Odds Left, Evens Right
19-20: Head - roll 1d6 - rolling a one.

Damage (non-Specialist): Instant death on 5-10 or 15-20.
1-4: Legs.
5-10: Chest.
11-14: Arms.
15-20: Head.
 
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Ziltoid for Recon.

Ziltoid came to Portland to study computer science at PSU. He is adept at computer hacking and is also handy with a knife. His specialty is blending into the cityscape to take down enemies silently.

My weapon of choice is a Portland State University lanyard that I use to silently strangle people with.
 
Spooky-Scary for Medic

14/04/14 was the day the world changed for me. Oh sure I knew ADF was a "thing", and he managed to get CWC to hump his PS3 for his PSN account but when that eye browless Marxist menace declared war on Kiwi Farms and unleashed a torrent of godawful bitly comics , lord knew I had to help my fellow farmers out. I figured "Hey browsing WebMD and dating a Nurse for 6 months is like... One year of Med School right?" So I signed onto become an Elite Medic for Slaughterhouse and the elusive Mr. Kiwi

My weapon of choice, an NHLPA approved golf putter that resembles a hockey stick
 
Mike Ehrmantraut, Specialist. Sent to Portland by Saul Goodman, Esq. who was too busy to handle things personally.

Weapon of choice:
 
TrannyKiller88 for Specialist Leader Specialist

The most offensive leadery offensive member of Alpha Squad, TrannyKiller88 revels in /pol/ memes, nazi imagery and Chick tracts. His teenage edge is honed to a razor-sharp point and cuts so deep it makes wounds that will not heal.

Weapon of Choice ; Misgendering.

edit ; damn

double edit ; not so damn, Saul is beta as fuck
 
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Darky for Medic.

After fighting everything, Darky decided he ought to heal everyone he fought - so he can fight them again. However, he realised he hadn't fought ADF and his tranny army yet... competition was fierce to get the right to fight ADF, until someone said that everyone should just fight him en masse. Darky was cool with that.
In actuality he's just on drugs and hallucinated all of that. He's just a crazy guy with a shovel and questionably-acquired medical supplies.

Weapon of choice: A burlap sack full of used needles and a shovel to bury people with (may also be used to bludgeon)
 
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Phil Ken Sebben for Demolitions.

Phil likes things that got blowed up real good. His desire to blow things up has led to him needing to wear an eyepatch after losing an eye and why he has to grow a moustache. Seriously, his upper lip is really fucked up.
Weapons of choice: Backpack full of illegal fireworks he got in Chinatown. And a zippo lighter.
For close combat he prefers to psyche his opponent out by showing his opponent where his eye used to be. And when they're distracted by throwing up, he kicks them in the nards, drops a stick of dynamite down their pants and runs.
 
hatchetman420 (hurrhurrhurr) for Engineer.

Former member of the North Brookfield Juggalo family which was the predecessor to the Deagle Nation Defense Force. Elite Juggalo skilled in jury rigging electronics and vehicles with chicken wire and pickle jars, cooking batches of homemade bath salts to put into ADF's favorite dumpsters to dig food out of, and breaking and entering into various locations where ADF is known to hide. Also skilled in "enhanced interrogation techniques" by forcing hostages to listen to Psychopathic Records artists for days on end. Often found with a trunk full of faygo car full of fat chicks. Alleged to be the one who taught Tyce about Jenkem.

Weapon of choice: a hatchet. WHOOP WHOOP.
 
This is a loosely played tactical game. I usually make the rules as I go along.
I will be DMing and I need some Players. If you wish to join post a little about your character and their class. I give brownie points for Lore, Backstory and other Roleplay bullshit.
Yes you can be as retarded as you want.

If you do not reply, I will play your character automatically after each update.

We need a leader for each three military Squads and a few troops to fight the menace that is ADF.
Your objective is to scour every bridge in portland for ADF.
You must take out ADF's troops.
There will be dangers ahead.

4cfbeca2cb.png


Alpha, Beta and Charlie team is currently subjected to land at Portland International Airport soon.

Classes:
Leader: Directs Squad's direction and path.
Specialist: Most Offensive.
Engineer: Can repair vehicles, create entrenchments.
Recon: Can scout ahead.
Demolitions: Blows up shit, allowing you to pass through buildings or other obstructions.
Medic: Can revive downed squadmates.

Alpha Team: 4/6
Leader:
Specialist: Dynastia as Trannykiller88 - Misgendering.
Engineer: hurrhurrhurr as hatchetman420
Recon: Ziltoid - Portland State University lanyard.
Demolitions:
Medic: Spooky-Scary - NHLPA approved golf putter (resembling a hockey stick)

Beta Team: 3/6
Leader:
Specialist: Saul Goodman as Mike Ehrmantraut - Hand-to-Hand
Engineer: Phil Ken Sebben - Illegal Bootleg Fireworks and Dynamite.
Recon:
Demolitions:
Medic: Darky - burlap sack full of used needles, shovel

Charlie Team: 0/6 - Unlocked!
Leader:
Specialist:
Engineer:
Recon:
Demolitions:
Medic:


In the 21st Century a new war is becoming real. Ahuviya Harel, also known as ADF, has begun his nightmare rule with his Tranny Team of Elite Warriors. They have begun to take over Portland, and ADF is attempting to wage war upon the world.

You are apart of the Stryker Mercenary Company, you have been sent by your benefactors - Mr. Kiwi and an entity known as Slaughterhouse - to end this threat. As a Stryker Mercenary, you have a strict guideline: No killing civilians, no overkill and to be as professional and clean as possible.

Who are you and what is your weapon of choice?
Is there still time to sign up for this?
 
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There's plenty of slots left.

@Valiant , shouldn't it be Alpha, Bravo, Charlie? Or Alpha, Beta, Cuck?
 
Aw... I was expecting a Where's Waldo type game. (:_(

Good luck everybody!
 
Derrick "Hangman" Deetz for Offensive.
A friend of hatchetman420, fellow Juggalo, and right wing survivalist. Has prepaired for the tranny war, and is skilled at sniping. Is ready to fight the communist queermosexual New World Order.
Weapon of choice:
M82 Barret Sniper rifle and baseball bat.
 
There's plenty of slots left.

@Valiant , shouldn't it be Alpha, Bravo, Charlie? Or Alpha, Beta, Cuck?
Beta as Fuck.

Also Leaders can choose names (I'm still waiting for someone to take that initiative)


Is there still time to sign up for this?

Yes until at least Alpha and Beta Team have leaders. Charlie team is currently under quarantine after one of their squad mates was infected with Tranny.
 
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hatchetman420 (hurrhurrhurr) for Engineer.

Former member of the North Brookfield Juggalo family which was the predecessor to the Deagle Nation Defense Force. Elite Juggalo skilled in jury rigging electronics and vehicles with chicken wire and pickle jars, cooking batches of homemade bath salts to put into ADF's favorite dumpsters to dig food out of, and breaking and entering into various locations where ADF is known to hide. Also skilled in "enhanced interrogation techniques" by forcing hostages to listen to Psychopathic Records artists for days on end. Often found with a trunk full of faygo car full of fat chicks. Alleged to be the one who taught Tyce about Jenkem.

Weapon of choice: a hatchet. WHOOP WHOOP.

I talked about his strengths, now hatchetman420's weaknesses:
1. Expelled from the 7th grade for stealing the fundraiser money from a benefit for a cancer kid. Reads at a 4th grade level.
2. Diabetic from drinking a three liter of Faygo a day since he was a toddler.
3. While not an addict, he has a propensity to get high off various household chemicals. He once passed out and shit his pants because he was huffing computer duster before meeting his substance abuse counselor.

Hatchetman420 is an idiot savant. He is capable of operating and maintaining a nuclear powered submarine or space shuttle, but he is unable to explain how. He won his 5th grade science fair despite failing every class other than art, which he was kicked out of for drawing a reenactment of the Columbine massacre. He joined this task force in exchange for CIADude420 getting him out of a felony charge from showing up to his probation hearing drunk.
 
Brad Stormrooster, Recon.

He was once a popular (10/10 looks, quite the ladies' man ;)) chemistry professor/parkour enthusiast, but that all changed the night he was attacked by a knife-wielding transtrender. He managed to wrestle the knife away from his attacker, but not before receiving serious injuries to his face.
With Brad's love life in ruins thanks to his now subhuman face, he joined Stryker Mercenary Company to find new meaning in life.

Skills: Parkour and knowledge of chemistry.
Weapons: The knife he took from his assailant (nicknamed Slayer, in memory of his love life) and a small water pistol (holds 5 sprays) filled with a mixture of household chemicals that causes cheap hair dye to catch on fire.

(I'm a noob at this kind of game, so please be gentle :oops:)
 
Pander for leader of Alpha Team.

Pander started his military career as an Officer Cadet in the Kiwiland Officer Academy, graduating first class in military tactics and strategy. He soon was assigned to the first Hellblazer Commando group where he led his team through various successfull missions in tumblr, sluthate and cwcville.

Fast forward 15 years and his hopes to reach brigadier was dashed after a friendly fire incident involving a dear friend of his. Col. Pander resigned from the army after faithfully serving the commando group's battalion.

A week after resigning, Pander recieves a offer of employment into the Stryker Mercenary Company for his outstanding leadership skills. This is his first assignment.

Strengths:
- Reasonable, Pander never sends his men on suicide missions

- Cooperative, A team that babbles about is already dead. Pander learned this the hard way in the tumblr campaign

Weaknesses:

- PTSD, the friendly fire incident on his dear friend will forever leave a mental scar in him.

Weapon of choice: an AR-15, why isn't this in kiwi army's issue arsenal
 
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