Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[King Kiwi]

Chris has avoided giving the public his exact address before. It's just 14BC he does that with regularly.

He lives in a little bumhole town a few miles from the post office.

And his house is pretty distinct I don't think it would be impossible to find.

That being said no one find it.

 

[Male Idiot]

You also have home maintenance, which Chris would certainly not be capable of. Guy was so lazy that he wouldn't even get up to take a dump (hence the dirty, crapped briefs)

Was that laziness? I just always figured he didn't notice or got scared and shit himself, like the tard he is.

That gift basket slays me every time.

• Three (3) apples
• Lavender air freshener
• Breath mints
• 4GB flash drive with recordings of the jazz marathon Bob hosted plus Katy Perry and Kelly Clarkson songs
• Hello Kitty Pez dispenser

Where do you think he got the idea to bring a gift basket in the first place? Do you think he just bumbled around 14BLC looking for things around the house to include? Did Mia enjoy the jazz?

That got my sides to orbit. I always assumed it was a standard gift basket CWC grabbed in the shartmart. So like some chocolate.

Hello Kitty pez dispenser, Bob's Jazz and air freshener and breathmints. What an autistic combo. The last could be a smug in your face jab from a notmal person, but Chris was just being romantic.

Mhhh yeah, here some Fresh Mints for you so that my Navy goes down Good yeah.

Her opsec is so good she's a fucking cryptid.

Is it good opsec or/and just the obscurity of dead Finnish internet sites?

She could have had her stuff out in early Finland Ebin Benis net, only for it to be wiped as sites went unpaid.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

He lives in a little bumhole town a few miles from the post office.

And his house is pretty distinct I don't think it would be impossible to find.

That being said no one find it.

Wdym, we know EXACTLY where he lives, we even had multiple people take photos on location.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Is it good opsec or/and just the obscurity of dead Finnish internet sites?

She could have had her stuff out in early Finland Ebin Benis net, only for it to be wiped as sites went unpaid.

That's certainly possible, but I think unlikely. A frequent poster rarely changes their spots unless they were burned BADLY by overposting. If she posted lots in the past, she would now too.

The fact that flutter has no known online presence is far more likely to mean either superior opsec, we have no idea of her posting style and she is smart enough to never reference Chris online in any way that might link her account to her, or else she simply doesn't use messageboards or Failbook or YT comments.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Was that laziness? I just always figured he didn't notice or got scared and shit himself, like the tard he is.

Sure was. He would whine when Bob would make him do any physical chores and part of the reason he shit his pants so often was because he was too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom

 

[King Kiwi]

Wdym, we know EXACTLY where he lives, we even had multiple people take photos on location.

Yes Zeus, I know. I like to be painterly at times.

For some reason I initially thought Big Island was a town of maybe like 3,000.

It's actually only 300.

They really tried to make sure Chris wasn't found didn't they?

 

[Black Yoshi]

They really tried to make sure Chris wasn't found didn't they?

That's an impossibility and has been for 2 decades.

 

[King Kiwi]

That's an impossibility and has been for 2 decades.

True, but the people handling Chris a couple years ago did Houdini us a little there when they took him off the grid and he was in that group home.

We didn't know for sure at the time.

Flutter and Canadian can do it some of the time when Chris is out in the wild with Flutter.

 

[Acoustic Virgin]

That got my sides to orbit. I always assumed it was a standard gift basket CWC grabbed in the shartmart. So like some chocolate.

Hello Kitty pez dispenser, Bob's Jazz and air freshener and breathmints. What an autistic combo. The last could be a smug in your face jab from a notmal person, but Chris was just being romantic.

Receipts to prove that I didn't make it up.

It's weird because almost every item is nearly on track to be an appropriate gift, but all autistically mixed together, it's just a mess.

Here's what I mean:

• A fruit basket is a nice traditional gift, especially for someone you don't know very well. But Chris just threw three apples (likely swiped from Barb's kitchen) in there.
• A scented candle is also a nice gift, but I'm sure Chris wasn't allowed to have candles for his own safety, so if he wanted something pleasantly smelling, he was limited to air fresheners.
• I remember putting a lot of time into making mix CDs to give to friends as gifts when I was a kid. It can really be a thoughtful gift when the music has meaning and reflects the recipient's tastes. I'm not sure that a cheap hooker would be into Bob's jazz, though.
• I don't know what to think about the mints or the Pez dispenser, though. Chris is just a retard.

It's too bad he didn't include a bottle of Fanta in there. What a missed opportunity!

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Receipts to prove that I didn't make it up.

It's weird because almost every item is nearly on track to be an appropriate gift, but all autistically mixed together, it's just a mess.

Here's what I mean:

• A fruit basket is a nice traditional gift, especially for someone you don't know very well. But Chris just threw three apples (likely swiped from Barb's kitchen) in there.
• A scented candle is also a nice gift, but I'm sure Chris wasn't allowed to have candles for his own safety, so if he wanted something pleasantly smelling, he was limited to air fresheners.
• I remember putting a lot of time into making mix CDs to give to friends as gifts when I was a kid. It can really be a thoughtful gift when the music has meaning and reflects the recipient's tastes. I'm not sure that a cheap hooker would be into Bob's jazz, though.
• I don't know what to think about the mints or the Pez dispenser, though. Chris is just a retard.

It's too bad he didn't include a bottle of Fanta in there. What a missed opportunity!

Mints could be for fresh breath, as she did put a condom on his cock with her mouth.

 

[King Kiwi]

Mints could be for fresh breath, as she did put a condom on his cock with her mouth.

Apple-flavored.

 

[Black Yoshi]

True, but the people handling Chris a couple years ago did Houdini us a little there when they took him off the grid and he was in that group home.

We didn't know for sure at the time.

Flutter and Canadian can do it some of the time when Chris is out in the wild with Flutter.

If poop touching wasn't frowned upon here he would've been found faster. The general area was already narrowed down after the Walmart sightings and if you were to employ 4chan tactics he could've been found after at most a couple weeks.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Apple-flavored.

The hooker should have just refused doing the nasty (literally) with CWC.

 

[The Un-Clit]

The hooker should have just refused doing the nasty (literally) with CWC.

Why? He was a customer.

More autistic but probably less gross then some of her clients.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

was a customer

Stores -- like the GAMe PLACe -- can refuse to do business with him.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Stores -- like the GAMe PLACe -- can refuse to do business with him.

I doubt the hooker knew or gave a shit about the Game Place. Unless a potential client comes off as incredibly creepy or potentially violent they don't have any real reasons to turn down the money for renting their pussy out.

Chris wasn't nearly as freaky looking then as he is now, just a fat autist smelling like Axe body spray.

(She probably needed the money for dope too.)

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I doubt the hooker knew or gave a shit about the Game Place.

What I meant was that businesses can refuse customers.

Unless a potential client comes off as incredibly creepy or potentially violent

And "Chris Chan" isn't "incredibly creepy"?

Chris wasn't nearly as freaky looking then as he is now

(She probably needed the money for dope too.)

Could explain why.

 

[Ser Ciappelletto]

The hooker should have just refused doing the nasty (literally) with CWC.

No if anything, the idiot redskin hooker was an idiot for throwing away the gift basket of fail most likely when weens would buy it nowadays for thousands as well as coming forward and giving paid interviews about her time with Chris.

I wonder if "Mia Hamm" is both still alive and at least aware of who Chris is because if she were smart she could use her time in Christory to swindle money from weens/ the Chris Chan community who want to hear about her time with him.

 

[Acoustic Virgin]

Chris wasn't nearly as freaky looking then as he is now, just a fat autist smelling like Axe body spray.

He wasn't as freaking-looking as he is now, but he was still pretty damn freaky. The event would have been a year after he began his "Tomgirl" phase, so he was wearing makeup and sports bras at the time. It would still be another two years before he'd pierce his perineum, though.

No if anything, the idiot redskin hooker was an idiot for throwing away the gift basket of fail most likely when weens would buy it nowadays for thousands as well as coming forward and giving paid interviews about her time with Chris.

I wonder if "Mia Hamm" is both still alive and at least aware of who Chris is because if she were smart she could use her time in Christory to swindle money from weens/ the Chris Chan community who want to hear about her time with him.

Mia is one of several Christorical figures that I would be interested in seeing interviewed. We've all read Chris' account, but hearing the other side of the story could be enlightening.

I'm a little surprised that hardly any characters who have interacted with Chris have come forward and told their stories. Doing so would be stupid -- jackasses would JULAY them relentlessly for the rest of their lives -- but people make bad decisions all the time.

 

[King Kiwi]

The hooker should have just refused doing the nasty (literally) with CWC.

Well, the only times Chris has ever had sex (that we know about) is when it was illegal (and got in trouble the second time) and questionable.

Maybe that's a sign from the universe he should never have had sex at all.