Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[The handsome tard]

Guys...
Idk how to tell you this...
I was just talking with a few of my buddies about stream highlights, to have them added to the CWCki, and I saw Net Narcolepsy added some already...
And...uhhh
Here, have this clip.
View attachment 6680187
I have no idea where this question even came from or what Chris is talking about, but...

Chris expects a child this summer.

You want to know how bad the seasonal rot has gotten with the Chris Chan saga? They are about to introduce a baby! Urgh...

I unironically believe that Chris might be infertile, or have a sperm count so low he might as well be. Therefore, if she really is pregnant, this is someone's kid, not that Chris knows the difference. She can say its his, mewtwo, his ocs's child all at the same time somehow and autismo will buy it.

Still, if it is his child somehow, what a sick twisted joke of the universe that is to people that want to conceive but cant.

 

[Bigideas McTucker]

You want to know how bad the seasonal rot has gotten with the Chris Chan saga? They are about to introduce a baby! Urgh...

I unironically believe that Chris might be infertile, or have a sperm count so low he might as well be. Therefore, if she really is pregnant, this is someone's kid, not that Chris knows the difference. She can say its his, mewtwo, his ocs's child all at the same time somehow and autismo will buy it.

Still, if it is his child somehow, what a sick twisted joke of the universe that is to people that want to conceive but cant.

I hope in my soul that this is just a schizo moment. Or, as is more representative of reality with Chris, him playing pretend. Until a child is born I'm going to spend every minute hoping it's a larp.

 

[The handsome tard]

I hope in my soul that this is just a schizo moment. Or, as is more representative of reality with Chris, him playing pretend. Until a child is born I'm going to spend every minute hoping it's a larp.

Replace child with fucking Barb and this whole thing seems concerningly familiar.

 

[Room Temp Shrimp]

Look I'm sure a hundred people already pointed this out but I'm having a hard time imagining Chris fairing well through the infancy stages. Kids are a real handful and during infancy it can get really rough. They wake up randomly and deprive you of sleep or meaningful rest. Chris doesn't exactly have a fantastic repotoire for perseverance and mental fortitude. I'll be honest, as horrible as it sounds, I wouldn't be particularly shocked if he hurls the kid into a wall out of frustration at some point. Even without a job and devoid of any real responsibility other than being a parent it's difficult for me to imagine him not royally fucking up parenthood. Chris couldn't even maintain a fast food job for more than what....a few weeks? If that kid comes into existence it's gonna get spiked into the ground before it makes it out of infancy, sad to say.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Another thing why I believe it's real?
Chris now has a habit of ranting about literally anything negative that happens to him. Oftentimes multiple times a day.
Yesterday, Chris ranted about weens in superchats during the livestream.

Before, he has ranted about the nazi commission, Rosechu shit, ect, ect. He does it on impulse.
What did he do after this controversy?

Nothing.

And he was online, as seen by him liking a post long after the controversy blew up, around 1 AM VA time.


Sometimes, it's utter silence that's the most telling, just like the reaction he has to people reminding him of raping Barb, him learning Finnish and being asked about Flutter.

 

[knux]

There is a pretty high likelihood that this kid gets groomed by weens from Reddit into trolling their own Dad. In maybe 10 - 14 years we'll have videos of them screaming at their own father 'JULAY', while following him around the house.

They need to engineer it so that the kid's first word is "JULAY". That would take Chris by surprise.

In all seriousness though, this whole situation is still no less confusing than when this Flutter chick first appeared. I always thought she was a Praetor handler, because of the way she would just accompany Chris to things and her hyper vigilance to avoid being identified.

But then we find out he's been flying off to Finland with her? Bizarre.
I still don't buy him expecting a child though. I'll wait and see for more evidence of that.

 

[Bigideas McTucker]

Look I'm sure a hundred people already pointed this out but I'm having a hard time imagining Chris fairing well through the infancy stages. Kids are a real handful and during infancy it can get really rough. They wake up randomly and deprive you of sleep or meaningful rest. Chris doesn't exactly have a fantastic repotoire for perseverance and mental fortitude. I'll be honest, as horrible as it sounds, I wouldn't be particularly shocked if he hurls the kid into a wall out of frustration at some point. Even without a job and devoid of any real responsibility other than being a parent it's difficult for me to imagine him not royally fucking up parenthood. Chris couldn't even maintain a fast food job for more than what....a few weeks? If that kid comes into existence it's gonna get spiked into the ground before it makes it out of infancy, sad to say.

Maybe the government will take the child before it dies.

 

[FinnSven]

Maybe the government will take the child before it dies.

If it’s all true, then it will depend on where the kid is actually born.

In Finland it will have to do with if Flutters parents are around and wind up involved.

Then I am supposing whether they decide to involve social services if they think the situation requires it, or if they attempt to take custody of it.
There might be the possibility of flutter approaching them herself and having the kid taken into care.

We do know that there is no danger of that on Chris’s side. Barb isn’t going to step in and even if she did there is no way that social services there would let a very elderly and frail woman take on a baby. Her parental record non withstanding.

As far as I know, there would be no other Chris relations capable or willing to step in. Brother Cole or whatever he is called will not care as far as I remember, Bob’s other children probably wouldn’t unless maybe there is some real sympathy for the child.

Also there is the whole question of whether flutter will be legally allowed to give birth and live in the US with the child.
Assuming they got married, how possible would this be?

Finland side, Chris could stay but flutter would have to support him.

 

[Adolphin]

I hope that she is pregnant from Chris, seeing that child being born would be such a hilarious experiment.

 

[Éamonn Ceannt]

If Chris becomes a dad, there is no god in this world.

I disagree. If anything it proves He exists and has a great sense of humor.

Sometimes, it's utter silence that's the most telling, just like the reaction he has to people reminding him of raping Barb, him learning Finnish and being asked about Flutter.

I completely agree. I think that if this was some fantasy or other shite he’d be vomiting up the words. But no, he just nonchalantly mentions it and moves on. I think he just let it slip by accident but it’s nonetheless true.

On a separate but related note I wonder how Flutter reacted to him letting it slip. My money is on her being absolutely fucking livid. Then again maybe she recognizes that with Chris it was inevitable that it would get out.

 

[SomeDood]

The fact that we still know so little about Cabbage makes me think she's at least somewhat competent. Or at least not as terminally online as Chris, tho that's a low bar to meet.
But competent enough for two autistic babies, one like 2 feet taller and 15 years older than her, with insatiable sexual frustration, remains to be seen.

If the pregnancy is real, we really need to start doing studys on 'recycling' as it seems to have paid off for Chris.

 

[ChefOptimusCunt]

Oh no.....

Superstitions aren't my thing, but this is a fucking sign if I've ever seen one. I logged in at totally random after a few days absent and this is what I'm greeted with

 

[My world my rules]

After thinking some more about it, I think I agree with what the others are saying.

I wonder if chris will force his kid to transition if it's a boy

Either that or if it's a girl he rapes/molests her.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

Blessings be upon our Goddess' God-promised daughter Crystal, inshallah


Now, if Chris can find a true and honest white European galpal to increase the birthrate with, what's stopping the rest of you Thunderdome incels?

 

[The Jewel of the Nile]

So I'm paying literal thousands to fight my infertility and motherfucking CWC after HRT is able to just make a kid? Neat, really neat

 

[Curzon Dax-sama]

I must give it to the writers. They have a cruel sense of humor.

 

[SlipNHonkMach2]

Still, if it is his child somehow, what a sick twisted joke of the universe that is to people that want to conceive but cant.

Dude there's literally a family of retarded inbreds deep in southern West Virginia who use grunts for communication because they can't verbally speak yet somehow have kept reproducing for multiple generations. Same goes for another one in Australia. There's plenty of people far worse in the genetic lottery out there fucking every single day everywhere in the world. The only difference is they don't have their own decades running Truman Show that attracts millions on the internet.

While incels spend their entire lives in front of a computer screen, writing long screeds online about why they can't find a partner, Chris is putting himself out there and proving them wrong.

Yep, confidence is key. It's one of the most attractive traits a guy can have. Even the fattest neckbeard can get a cutey if he's got the swagger and determination.
And if people are questioning why a mother fucker can get a girl, remember that serial killers get love letters all the time from wacko women. Great video on it by Michael Franzese.

 

[Click reply to view]

All is not lost. I'll need a young priest going through a crisis of faith, an elderly priest with an unshakeable faith, and the Seven Sacred Daggers of Tel Meggido. I'll have to go to Israel to get those, so donate to my gofundme.

 

[Studley Roger]

It would be very funny if Chris managed to produce offspring (spawnichu?), but i'm not convinced it is actually happening. I think it's probably worth not taking Chris' delusional autistbabble about a child too seriously until we get some sort of further confirmation.

 

[ExtraVilePeper]

You want to know how bad the seasonal rot has gotten with the Chris Chan saga? They are about to introduce a baby! Urgh...

I unironically believe that Chris might be infertile, or have a sperm count so low he might as well be. Therefore, if she really is pregnant, this is someone's kid, not that Chris knows the difference. She can say its his, mewtwo, his ocs's child all at the same time somehow and autismo will buy it.

Still, if it is his child somehow, what a sick twisted joke of the universe that is to people that want to conceive but cant.

It is a sick joke. My wife and I have been trying to conceive for a while with no success and then seeing Chris getting someone pregnant so quickly (if he actually has) just doesn't make me feel the greatest... We are going for fertility testing and treatment, but it's been almost 2 years of trying, feels bad man.