Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

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As much as people think Chris is this massively horny sex pest, back in those days, he said he only masturbated twice a week, and did it in very strange ways. Putting a washrag on his bed and humping it, or sitting on the bathroom sink and rubbing himself with that washrag.

I'm willing to bet when he was assaulting Barb, he penetrated her only a handful of times, and the rest was him cramming his tard fingers all up inside her like he was digging for a booger in his nose, or just general groping. Not to say Chris is completely impotent, there's still that chance...
That was because he was on Paxil, which is notorious for causing low libido, impotence, and delayed orgasm.
There was the call where he jerked off with Julay and then Bob walked in. It took him like 20 minutes and he was never able to shoot his wad. Which was good because if he went early, he would’ve been done and answered the phone himself instead of Bob getting the fateful call.
 
Guys...
Idk how to tell you this...
I was just talking with a few of my buddies about stream highlights, to have them added to the CWCki, and I saw Net Narcolepsy added some already...
And...uhhh
Here, have this clip.
View attachment 6680187
I have no idea where this question even came from or what Chris is talking about, but...

Chris expects a child this summer.
Crystal is about to become a reality.
If true, and i genuinely pray to every deity i know that it never happens, that poor kid is gonna have it so fucking rough. I can see the weens of the future harassing that kid.
 
Unreliable narrator who claims he's a woman, claims he's Jesus Christ, claims he's a Sonichu, claims the dimensional merge is happening, also happens to claim he's having a child.

Suddenly we believe him?

Ain't shit happening, hope you all know that. It's a LARP.
You don't get it.
If this is fake news, we'll all be relieved.
If it isn't...then that's terrifying.
And besides, with all the revelations coming out, I'd rather brace myself for the worst.
 
Chris can't even take care of himself. If he does impregnate flutter, that poor kid will have a sociopathic mother who has a thing for guys who rape their moms and then a dad who can barely take care of himself and thinks he's Jesus
Tell me it’s all kayfabe, BROTHER! We’re just a bunch of jabroni marks worked into a shoot…right? RIGHT?!?!?
 
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I know I am late to the discussion, but I don't think there is any chance of this being true in the slightest. He says "When the child is actually coming into play, or somewhere around that point, or I might just keep yall in the dark and let yall know till- and wait till after the child is born." This is also coming off a leading question from a ween donation, so I think this can be interpreted as "If I have a child, I will let you all know when it happens or I may just keep it a secret until after the child is born." I don't feel like it is in Chris's nature to reject this sort of message regardless, since he is a sex pest and has also always wanted a kid.
 
Oh my fucking god..... I have at least 2 years of lore to catch up on.... and THIS was what made me come digging back.... this horrific news.
I hope it's not true. Please let it not be true.
The last two years have been pretty dull, so you really haven't missed much.

Chris was released from jail on a deferred deposition due to suffering an ASD and has either learned how to keep personal information off the Internet, or been kept on a short leash by someone else. Nothing really interesting has been posted between then and now, other than photos of a Finnish woman called Flutter whose relationship to Chris was unknown but speculated to be romantic (apparently correctly).

This is definitely a darker turn of events because, if it is a delusion, it doesn't really sound like it comes from Chris' own brain. There are no weird, pseudo-religious rants, no bullshit about a dimensional merge, etc. It's entirely possible that Flutter is mentally unwell and having a hysterical pregnancy, but the response to that still seems like they're at least not trying to avoid having a child, so that would really just mean that they'll eventually have a baby whose mother is also delusional.
 
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