Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

You want to know how bad the seasonal rot has gotten with the Chris Chan saga? They are about to introduce a baby! Urgh...

I unironically believe that Chris might be infertile, or have a sperm count so low he might as well be. Therefore, if she really is pregnant, this is someone's kid, not that Chris knows the difference. She can say its his, mewtwo, his ocs's child all at the same time somehow and autismo will buy it.

Still, if it is his child somehow, what a sick twisted joke of the universe that is to people that want to conceive but cant.

I think even during Chris’s prime he had some kind of testosterone issue going on that would’ve made it difficult to conceive. The moobs, the small, deformed duck, his nutsack doesn’t hang very low, his high pitched voice, lack of muscle mass (even for someone who doesn’t lift), during the goatee era his facial hair was so thin and scraggly that he could dry shave it without crying, he shaves his body hair but when a guy shaves there’s usually leftover stubble and Chris didn’t have that, the childish and feminine tendencies years before transgender was a big thing.

If he was a normal man mentally but with the same body he had in the 2000s (like let’s say Rollin and Trollin was real), he’d probably have to conceive with IVF. Also if the wife had any of her own fertility problems they’d have to talk about surrogacy.

TLDR Chris was probably had fertility issues even before the hormones. Hopefully he’s sterile but I’ve seen pregnant FTMs so I don’t fucking know anymore.

There’s also been speculation that Flutter has some kind of developmental problem, like a female Andy Milonakis. If true they’d be fighting an uphill battle.

 

[Brap God]

Geno rn realizing he's gonna have to make two lifelong documentaries:
View attachment 6682855

He better have a child of his own soon. Someone has to take up the mantle once he retires.

If Chris proves anything, it's that the most important quality you need in order to attract a woman is self-confidence. You can have absolutely nothing else going for you, but provided that you can project self-confidence, then there will be some woman out there who will manage to take a fancy to you, even if they have to be mentally unsound in order to do so.

While incels spend their entire lives in front of a computer screen, writing long screeds online about why they can't find a partner, Chris is putting himself out there and proving them wrong.

How can incels blame women for not being boyfriend-free and into them if they never even embark on a Love Quest?

 

[alan wake]

After thinking some more about it, I think I agree with what the others are saying.

Either that or if it's a girl he rapes/molests her.

he'll force him to transition then rape him

 

[gaysexenjoyer]

Congrats to the happy couple


I look forward to whatever retard super soldier gets birthed.

​

 

[Flamin Park]

You're acting like Chris was ever going to lose. He IS the motherfucker, THE CPU goddess blue heart Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu. We never stood a fucking chance.

He was playing Virtual Reality six dimensional go while we were playing I spy

 

[gaysexenjoyer]

Fellas... what if the kid is completely normal?

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Fellas... what if the kid is completely normal?
View attachment 6684505

With Chris Chan?
No way!

 

[King of Gooners]

Hear me out: We leave this poor child alone or immediately call CPS as soon as its born

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Chris can't even take care of himself. If he does impregnate flutter, that poor kid will have a sociopathic mother who has a thing for guys who rape their moms and then a dad who can barely take care of himself and thinks he's Jesus

You’re right. No one deserves to be put in that situation. Poor child.

Although if reincarnation was a thing perhaps this would be a suitable punishment for someone that is worse than Hitler and Pol Pot combined.

With Chris Chan?
No way!

I’d sooner bet on the Colorado Rockies winning the World Series than an offspring of Chris Chan being normal.

 

[SlipNHonkMach2]

It is a sick joke. My wife and I have been trying to conceive for a while with no success and then seeing Chris getting someone pregnant so quickly (if he actually has) just doesn't make me feel the greatest... We are going for fertility testing and treatment, but it's been almost 2 years of trying, feels bad man.

Keep rolling the dice. Trust me, you'll eventually land on the proper roll.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Congrats to the happy couple


I look forward to whatever retard super soldier gets birthed.

​

It is the child of prophecy. It is the auti gaib!

 

[InteracialBowelSyndrome]

The baby's name?

......Sonichu.

 

[JohnMcCena]

This all feels like some bizarre Ridley Scott Alien plot.

Like Flutter is just trying to create and birth the most autistic person known to man to lead the autists.

 

[Sho'nuff]

Kid is going to come out black, Chris will immediately revert to mid-2000s Chris, says the N-word and the best time line is restored.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

I think even during Chris’s prime he had some kind of testosterone issue going on that would’ve made it difficult to conceive. The moobs, the small, deformed duck, his nutsack doesn’t hang very low, his high pitched voice, lack of muscle mass (even for someone who doesn’t lift), during the goatee era his facial hair was so thin and scraggly that he could dry shave it without crying, he shaves his body hair but when a guy shaves there’s usually leftover stubble and Chris didn’t have that, the childish and feminine tendencies years before transgender was a big thing.

As much as people think Chris is this massively horny sex pest, back in those days, he said he only masturbated twice a week, and did it in very strange ways. Putting a washrag on his bed and humping it, or sitting on the bathroom sink and rubbing himself with that washrag.

I'm willing to bet when he was assaulting Barb, he penetrated her only a handful of times, and the rest was him cramming his tard fingers all up inside her like he was digging for a booger in his nose, or just general groping. Not to say Chris is completely impotent, there's still that chance...

 

[InfiniteGodmode]

It is a sick joke. My wife and I have been trying to conceive for a while with no success and then seeing Chris getting someone pregnant so quickly (if he actually has) just doesn't make me feel the greatest... We are going for fertility testing and treatment, but it's been almost 2 years of trying, feels bad man.

Prayin' for you and your wife, man.

 

[Dilatortron3000]

Hes been on estrogen since 2015 so hes without a doubt infertile right?

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I hope he just wants to impregnate her but it won't (and hasn't) actually happened.

If there was an argument for eugenics, this would certainly be it

 

[gaysexenjoyer]

Hes been on estrogen since 2015 so hes without a doubt infertile right?

Autism uh... finds a way.

 

[Bigideas McTucker]

Hear me out: We leave this poor child alone or immediately call CPS as soon as its born

I agree with this notion. This child should never grace a board. Idc how deformed it is. That fucker can shoot out Flutter's womb with five arms and three heads and it should never be posted here or anywhere. Outside of ensuring the child isn't going to die a horrible death because its mother is vegan or some other weird shit we should have no influence on it at all. Even that is arguably cowtipping.