Grand Jury speculation thread

[Smleman303]

Chris walking away scot free would definitely be the funniest and most just outcome.

The stream of salt from weens and “HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!! THINK OF THE BROKEN BARBUSSY!!”-redditor fags would be endlessly amusing, and Chris would go without the childlike peace and quiet and three meals a day he would get in a prison cell.

Dr streets or Dr greyhound in that scenario?

 

[Fapcop]

Dr streets or Dr greyhound in that scenario?

Couch surfing/milking pity life until broke.

Then the streets unless some idiots chip in for an old van for Chris to live in.

Btw: If this whole legal ordeal was a porno, what would be the money shot? Chris in the witness box explaining how he’s the creator and chronicler of Sonichu the electric hedgehog Pokémon?

 

[Eydallur]

As seen in the DC Comic “Arkham Asylum: Living Hell.” An asshole pleas insanity because he doesn’t want to go to prison. The judge sends him to Arkham. Hijinks ensue.

Yeah I'm sure where this trope originates from is a fucking comic book. Goddamn philistines can't even credit one flew over the cuckoo's nest, or the play, or even the film.

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

Yeah I'm sure where this trope originates from is a fucking comic book. Goddamn philistines can't even credit one flew over the cuckoo's nest, or the play, or even the film.

I don’t recall them saying it originated from said comics, but rather obviously used it as a fitting example because the context was discussing the Joker and how he’s technically not criminally insane by IRL standards.

Throttle back on your sperging.

 

[Smleman303]

Couch surfing/milking pity life until broke.

Then the streets unless some idiots chip in for an old van for Chris to live in.

Btw: If this whole legal ordeal was a porno, what would be the money shot? Chris in the witness box explaining how he’s the creator and chronicler of Sonichu the electric hedgehog Pokémon?

No it would be Chris imagining he's back at 14 BC... Then he wakes him to his new cellmate/bf Tyrone the toucher who is in prison for sexually assaulting star fish at his old aquarium job.

Also we know Chris would fuck up the van and lose it when it's broken and impounded so Dr streets again.

 

[PointOfNoReturnPoint]

The ideal scenario would be Chris moving in with DSP and Wings of Redemption into a 24-7 live-streamed house.

But I’ll take this one as a close second.

I would amit this would both be funny and a failure of western culture that this much man baby has conglomerated into one aera.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

i don't think that exist. i think most states have a 2 year older leeway period for just this situation.

It depends entirely on the state. Some states only reduce severity within that range. (In California it's always a crime. Two 17 year olds having sex are both committing a crime against each other!)

In places where it's an issue they just don't bother prosecuting borderline cases where nobody's complaining, even though they can, because it's just not worth their time, and if they did, a huge portion of the population would have a criminal record.

I don't think it will ever be an issue for Chris unless a really demented underage ween decides to get disgusting with Chris just so they can get Chris arrested (and at this point probably sent to prison for violation of the terms of his release).

Heilberg is court appointed counsel, and I don't know anything about Heilberg.

I thought this was charged as misdemeanor incest from the onset.

Incest with own mother always reads as a felony charge in the system. It's not that there's a separate "felony" or "misdemeanor" charge, the code violated is the same. The only difference is the venue where they prosecute it, and what the eventual sentence is.

In J&DR it was effectively a misdemeanor because that's all they could do there until they indicted him. Now that it's going to circuit, it's entirely up to the prosecutor and the court whether it becomes a felony or a misdemeanor, and there won't really be a distinction until sentencing. For the purposes of Chris being in jail until then, it's a felony.

Technically the prosecutor could lower it to a misdemeanor right now but he could've done that by just not getting an indictment, so he's not going to do that. Technically also the grand jury could do that but that's not going to happen. From now on it will be a felony until either a plea deal lowers it (possible, but looking less likely as this goes on, and a plea deal will probably keep it as a felony) or it goes to trial and the court takes pity on Chris (fat fucking chance).

My point still stands that anyone who can list the age of consent by state is creepy.

I'll do one better. I can list the states where it's legal to fuck your mom.

 

[You Dun Boof’ed]

So, if Chris is to be believed, (which he absolutely shouldn’t) Babs is busy staring into the middle distance and getting ready to check out.

IF that happens, and Chris is still in jail, who is in control of the assets?

After all these years of bad blood, I doubt Cole is in the will. Will it all go to Chris in the end? Or maybe the bank will just take it, trash it out, and sell it for peanuts.

 

[AnOminous]

Any theories why Heilberg threw in the towel?

He can give all the advice he likes. He can't force Chris to take a deal even if it is the best deal ever. Chris is fucking retarded. It's not like Heilberg has a magic de-tarding ray gun. If Chris wants to make an insanely stupid decision and possibly get locked up for life, that's on him.

 

[Bees]

He can give all the advice he likes. He can't force Chris to take a deal even if it is the best deal ever. Chris is fucking retarded. It's not like Heilberg has a magic de-tarding ray gun. If Chris wants to make an insanely stupid decision and possibly get locked up for life, that's on him.

And that’s what keeps me checking this sub forum even after a year of dullsville.

 

[RodgerDodger]

Trust me, he's qualified.

In fact one of the great mysteries about this case is how someone like Chris managed to get a heavy hitter like Heilberg to represent him. It can't be just his usual tard luck. Chris has been ridiculously, stupendously, retardedly fortunate at every step of his case, and the ungrateful fuck keeps screwing it all up. If¹ Chris ends up in prison, he will have absolutely nobody to blame but himself.



The charge was nebulous at the onset, but they had to make it a misdemeanor to send him down to J&DR.

---

¹ LOL. "If."

I think it was pretty obvious that the Judge or someone in his office saw something messy unusual and requiring a bit more care than the usual PD rubber stamping, and kicked it over to Heilberg. Who was probably the most real life experienced lawyer on the list.

 

[jimmybags]

Sorry if this has been asked, but since Chris' charge won't be upgraded until August 8, and August 1 will be 1 year since his arrest on misdemeanor charges, will Chris be allowed out for the 8 day period before his grand jury hearing, since you can't be held longer than a year on misdemeanor charges?

 

[My Name is Mud]

Sorry if this has been asked, but since Chris' charge won't be upgraded until August 8, and August 1 will be 1 year since his arrest on misdemeanor charges, will Chris be allowed out for the 8 day period before his grand jury hearing, since you can't be held longer than a year on misdemeanor charges?

I seriously doubt he will be allowed to walk for a week, especially since he doesn't have a residence he can go back to. But I do wonder on what grounds they can keep him.

Unless of course the charge has already been upgraded to a felony, or is the GJ the ones that will determine that?
His records already show the charge as a felony, but that might be just a system thing.

 

[kaien]

I'll do one better. I can list the states where it's legal to fuck your mom.

On behalf of the rest of the forum I'd like to say thank you for storing away this information so we don't have to.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Sorry if this has been asked, but since Chris' charge won't be upgraded until August 8, and August 1 will be 1 year since his arrest on misdemeanor charges, will Chris be allowed out for the 8 day period before his grand jury hearing, since you can't be held longer than a year on misdemeanor charges?

No judge is going to let Chris go for that, since the prosecution actively asked for an indictment. They would only release Chris if the prosecution declined to attempt to get one.

It's never been a hard misdemeanor, or a hard felony. It was in a quasi-state in between, effectively determined by the intent of the prosecution. By pursuing an indictment, the prosecution has kept it in that quasi state rather than letting it default to being a misdemeanor by virtue of keeping it in J&DR.

If they *hadn't* asked for an indictment, then Chris's attorney could have asked for release by telling the judge "Hey, they aren't treating it like a felony."

EDIT: Even when it gets to circuit court, it's not permanently determined to be a felony or a misdemeanor until sentencing. The grand jury can make it into a misdemeanor if they decide to, which they won't. After that, it's in circuit court, and it's whatever the prosecutor says it is, until a judge or jury says otherwise.

 

[Divine right to rule]

He can give all the advice he likes. He can't force Chris to take a deal even if it is the best deal ever. Chris is fucking retarded. It's not like Heilberg has a magic de-tarding ray gun. If Chris wants to make an insanely stupid decision and possibly get locked up for life, that's on him.

I mean, public defenders all have seen some shit, but I don't envy anyone who has to represent a literal motherfucker who rants and raves about being Jesus, the CPU goddess that will burn all the sinners.

 

[My Name is Mud]

I mean, public defenders all have seen some shit, but I don't envy anyone who has to represent a literal motherfucker who rants and raves about being Jesus, the CPU goddess that will burn all the sinners.

I don't know, I imagine a veteran lawyer who is sick and tired of representing hit-and-runs, small-time thieves and general "urban youths" would be pretty thrilled to take such an interesting and insane case.

 

[Divine right to rule]

I don't know, I imagine a veteran lawyer who is sick and tired of representing hit-and-runs, small-time thieves and general "urban youths" would be pretty thrilled to take such an interesting and insane case.

Interesting or not, having a raving lunatic as a client who refuses to shut his mouth and take your advice is immensely frustrating for an attorney.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Interesting or not, having a raving lunatic as a client who refuses to shut his mouth and take your advice is immensely frustrating for an attorney.

That'll learn him.

 

[Niggerphobe]

I wonder how Chris going to jail will be like in cwcville