Artcow Half-dude / Ian Knau - Car Fucker

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Hell I'd kinda like to put more pictures up, but unfortunately I know I can't trust you guys not to do horrible things with them.

I mean... you're already this far into the rabbit hole...
It's already going to be hard to out-crazy "dude that gets off on cars and treats them as romantic partners."
What harm could a few more photos do, hmmmmm?
 
  • Optimistic
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Nope as in neither? Share the logistics of this process if you'd be so kind.

Nope as in no we dont... why is that so hard to understand?

I mean... you're already this far into the rabbit hole...
It's already going to be hard to out-crazy "dude that gets off on cars and treats them as romantic partners."
What harm could a few more photos do, hmmmmm?

Hey I like Monk too! Great show.

Anyway, nice try at manipulation. I know you guys, I start putting up some pictures with cars and my face on it and here comes the anti-half-dude memes.
 
Nope as in no we dont... why is that so hard to understand?

Because you're either saying no to one or the other. Let me simplify things for you:

A. You and your roommate share a car pussy when you fuck a car.

B. You and your roommate have separate fleshlights for the car and do not use each others fleshlights.

Please choose A or B.
 
Hey I like Monk too! Great show.

Anyway, nice try at manipulation. I know you guys, I start putting up some pictures with cars and my face on it and here comes the anti-half-dude memes.

I've actually never been able to make itthrough a single episode. I just googled "angry monks" and this is one of the pictures that popped up so I ran with it because... I was stoned and it seemed funny at the time.

But more to the point, I think you've got some pretty misguided perceptions of this place. I haven't been here long. I was just observing the place for a while before I made an account. But I can say with some degree of certainty that this is actually a place of love. Unless you're a bonafide piece of shit person (think your Wus, your Sarkeesians, etc). I can't speak for everyone but I think I mostly just get a good larf out of the unusual. The bizare. The reeeeeally "out there" type shit such as you provide.

To that end, I think people have treated you pretty civily in polite discussion, no? And you seem to be pretty proud of who you are and what you're about. Provided you aren't hiding any bonafide piece of shit things about yourself what harm would there be in showing your face, sir?
 
I've actually never been able to make itthrough a single episode. I just googled "angry monks" and this is one of the pictures that popped up so I ran with it because... I was stoned and it seemed funny at the time.

But more to the point, I think you've got some pretty misguided perceptions of this place. I haven't been here long. I was just observing the place for a while before I made an account. But I can say with some degree of certainty that this is actually a place of love. Unless you're a bonafide piece of shit person (think your Wus, your Sarkeesians, etc). I can't speak for everyone but I think I mostly just get a good larf out of the unusual. The bizare. The reeeeeally "out there" type shit such as you provide.

To that end, I think people have treated you pretty civily in polite discussion, no? And you seem to be pretty proud of who you are and what you're about. Provided you aren't hiding any bonafide piece of shit things about yourself what harm would there be in showing your face, sir?

His face is already shown in the OP.

I'm just more confused about taking such a photo and sharing it here, of all places.
 
  • Agree
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His face is already shown in the OP.

I'm just more confused about taking such a photo and sharing it here, of all places.

Ah I see it now. I kinda rushed through it to get to the latest on the dude. I was referring to a picture he posted a page or two back that he blurred his face out on. If we've already got his face then why bother blurring it out anymore?
 
And here I thought you had to go in raw.

Fuck no! You know how much that would fricken hurt dude? It'd be like putting your dick in a cheese grater with some of those sharp cut pipes some cars have. I believe even that cringy 'how to have sex with a car' text that gets shared around everywhere talks about having an interface device.. a surrogate pussy so to speak. Though if I ever got the chance I would love to fuck a luxury car with one of those smoothed rounded edged tips.. those too look pretty comfy. <3
jaguar-ftype-convertible-exhausts.JPG


I've actually never been able to make itthrough a single episode. I just googled "angry monks" and this is one of the pictures that popped up so I ran with it because... I was stoned and it seemed funny at the time.

But more to the point, I think you've got some pretty misguided perceptions of this place. I haven't been here long. I was just observing the place for a while before I made an account. But I can say with some degree of certainty that this is actually a place of love. Unless you're a bonafide piece of shit person (think your Wus, your Sarkeesians, etc). I can't speak for everyone but I think I mostly just get a good larf out of the unusual. The bizare. The reeeeeally "out there" type shit such as you provide.

To that end, I think people have treated you pretty civily in polite discussion, no? And you seem to be pretty proud of who you are and what you're about. Provided you aren't hiding any bonafide piece of shit things about yourself what harm would there be in showing your face, sir?

Well I think that's pretty naive to think that, there's obviously people bigots here who genuinely do want to hurt me simply for being different. Just ask the people who've tried doc dropping me, or the guy who made the thread in the first place putting my face and real name all over it.

So no, no dick in tailpipe pictures for you guys, sorry.
 
the hurting means she loves you.

Well and in the case of the Honda Civic, and "my left hand's" big fatass Mitsubishi Eclipse that I'll be fucking.. they both have gigantic gaping pussies so.. an insert is also a size reducer.
 
i wouldnt ever wish to see harm done to you brobro, youre an alright gai. im sure if we were buds and i ever needed a ride to the store and gave you a call, you'd come runnin with one of your ladies, lol. id say theres not even anyone here who wishes you pain or suffering either. you might get bagged on, but you're takin it on the chin and you still share, thats a sign of someone who cant be fuxed and its a good trait. theres way, way more deplorable and despicable people who have been written about here that are deserving of that ire. dox mean nothing unless someone's invested in such a thing. i dont think you're gonna run into that type of person here, everybody seems to be enjoying what you're posting. but thats the thing entirely, everybody's got their own kinks. its that most people are repressed just enough that they never let their kinks leave their own mouths or minds or bedrooms, much less share em with people close to em. its a big part of why people cheat on their significant others, you know? someone with a vanilla partner who wants to have a threesome or something like that, it can be anything. as long as nobody's getting hurt, whats the harm?

if you feel pride in car fetishism, id say short of ACTUALLY dicking a hot tailpipe, theres not any harm there, be it to you or sharing it with others. maybe you've conditioned yourself to think that. people might look at you funny in general if you were to profess this stuff out in public. but dude, think about a guy like vermin supreme. he's owned his kookyness for decades and is beloved for it. maybe go bigger with your love for cars. you're in a position to bring other fringe autophiliacs out and lead by example. maybe you have to put forth the effort to build a community for such a thing. but just the same, its not like any of us have ever ran across a person with this particular penchant like, ever. gotta roll with the punches, and you're doin a good job. id just consider putting some effort toward building something up for others who might have the same thing goin. make an ipboards forum or somethin, see what happens, you know?
 
I feel bad for any women in your life if you can fill that fucking pussy. lol
I ain't saying I'm big enough to fuck cars my guy. I don't need to be, I don't fuck cars.

I'm just saying if you think they're living, intelligent things, sticking a fleshlight up their ass because you aren't big enough otherwise isn't very considerate.
 
Well give me a break, I'm doing what I can. At least I'm not hotdog-down-a-hallway'ing them by going in raw, at least with an insert they can feel some pressure up in there. My "left hand" gives her Eclipse fucks with a tailpipe expander tool, according to her the Eclipse really gets off on it.
 
Pretty clever huh? /: )

I, for one, am happy for you. Many people go throughout their lives not feeling what love could be. These kiwis are just jealous. You have certainly found love, albeit in an odd place, and have embraced it; therefore, how could I criticize it.

But here is some advice. Sometimes you have to test the trust in a loving relationship. Love is blinding; therefore, you must at least try to be realistic. So I suggest parking your car in your garage. Seal all doors and windows leading into the garage airtight. Once that is done, sit in the car and let the engine run. Then just wait.

If your car truly loves you, it will see the danger you are in and ram through the garage door and take you to safety.
 
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