Artcow Half-dude / Ian Knau - Car Fucker
- Thread starter The Oddball from MLW
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2015
So hey guys!...
Seems like this thread might finally be ready to die, unless you guys have some more questions. I honestly never thought you guys would feel satisfied in knowing everything you'd ever want to know.
So I'm curious, have I done some good here? Have I improved any of your views on Objectum Sexuals? Have I made you guys question the media, and see us for how we really are?
I wonder, next time you see one of those shock-value documentaries on Objectum-Sexuality, will you guys say "naw, that's bullshit, I know better now."
Just curious.. : |
Seems like this thread might finally be ready to die, unless you guys have some more questions. I honestly never thought you guys would feel satisfied in knowing everything you'd ever want to know.
So I'm curious, have I done some good here? Have I improved any of your views on Objectum Sexuals? Have I made you guys question the media, and see us for how we really are?
I wonder, next time you see one of those shock-value documentaries on Objectum-Sexuality, will you guys say "naw, that's bullshit, I know better now."
Just curious.. : |
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2015
H
HG 400
Guest
kiwifarms.net
You sure do crave attention, huh?
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2014
Yea it does seem that way. You should be good as long as no one bumps the thread.
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2015
Last edited:
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2014
You've made us warm up to you, at least. 
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
Half-dude I have to say this, you handle anthropomorphic cars way better than Pixar does.
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2015
Balls are touching, certified safety rating A+++.
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2015
I agree!
Nice fat doughy car-balls squishing together. <3
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2013
Since I'm pretty sure you skipped over the original post, allow me to re-ask the following:
"We know that these cars are sentient beings with complex reproductive systems and can walk like human beings. But my questions to you are as follows:
-Can they drive under their own power?
-Do they even have regular interiors like a real car? Or is it like complex robotics underneath those windows?
-If they do have regular interiors, do they cars still need to people to work their controls, or can they work those by themselves?"
If you can (or are able) to answer those, that would be helpful.
"We know that these cars are sentient beings with complex reproductive systems and can walk like human beings. But my questions to you are as follows:
-Can they drive under their own power?
-Do they even have regular interiors like a real car? Or is it like complex robotics underneath those windows?
-If they do have regular interiors, do they cars still need to people to work their controls, or can they work those by themselves?"
If you can (or are able) to answer those, that would be helpful.
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2015
Sorry... ^^;
I can't be too careful with you guys. You ARE aware my anthro cars are a fictional creation of mine right? I just want to make sure that you know that I know they don't really exist. As HOT as that would be, they don't. Now let's carry on:
The self-driving cars of today were part of their inspiration, so yes, they can drive themselves. When it drive mode, they can simply ask their owners where they want to go, hear, and go there on their own. Their wheels are powered by a standard naturally aspirated gasoline engine, all their limbs and.. sex parts, are powered by a separate electrically powered hydraulic system.
Yes they have regular interiors. The only difference is that under the carpets, hidden in out of sight areas, the walls, roof, and floor of the cabin are made to bend and twist as the car walks around in anthro mode. Using rubber tendon-like cores in areas like the pillars of the cabin to allow slight bending. Sliding plates, hinges, and mechanical joints allow the roof to bend left and right to a certain amount. The entire floor of a female car can bulge upwards pressing the seats and stuff up into the roof, this is to make room for her womb when she's pregnant. (This is shown in my cutaway of the female reproductive system.
Already answered that first part. No, they don't really NEED humans for any of that stuff, but it's what they're programmed to instinctively want, to be helpful to humans. When the car is driving itself it bypasses any controls in the interior and just controls them electrically.
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2013
Now for a follow up set of questions:
1. How are these cars first made? Like a normal vehicle? Or is it a different method? I'm not talking about the pregnancy either.
2. Where are the electrical systems to be sentient located at?
3. In universe, how did this idea of "upright cars with genetalia" come about?
creamyfanta
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2015
I have a question! If you already answered I'm sorry 
Do you only find cars attractive? What about humans? Or other vehicles, or perhaps something not even vehicular, like a curvy house?
Do you only find cars attractive? What about humans? Or other vehicles, or perhaps something not even vehicular, like a curvy house?
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
I'm honestly kind of surprised this thread is still going. @Half-dude, as a sometimes-mechanic by trade, I would make but one request: please take your car in for regular service and maintenance. Please don't neglect your ride man. Lots of people do and it's sort of sad to me, because even though cars don't seem to interact with us in a way we can readily understand, the difference between a car that's been loved and one that has not is vast. They are quite literally worlds apart.
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2015
Lol, I'm honestly dumbfounded as to why you would feel to need to have to warn me of this? If anyone is going to fret about the littlest out of the ordinary sound, worry at the faintest lack of performance, or cringe at the hardest of cold starts it would be me! I probably worry about my cars more then most people worry about their own family members!
And yes, a lot of people do neglect their "rides." That's why most people piss me the hell off. Car's deserve better then that from their owners, how much they haul their fat asses around town asking little in return.
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
Jesus Christ on a bicycle you ain't kidding! I'm just saying, if you know your car as well as you (obviously) do, then just watch for the warning signs. Find a mechanic you trust and stick with him. Hell, learn to do it yourself! It just pains me so much to see these people abuse their cars.
I'm gonna powerlevel a bit, just for you: I'm from Alaska. Our environment is hard on machines, cars in particular. You are correct in that cold starts can be hard, and boy don't we know it. I'm sure you know this, but for those in the audience who might not, the most stressful time for a car, mechanically, is when it first starts. In that condition, it begins it's day deprived of oil, and that's really bad for it, even if it's just for a few seconds until the crank turns and the oil pump circulates lubricant. As cars get more and more miles on them, imperfections in the process of creation will begin to emerge, and nowhere will those be more evident than at startup. I'm sure if you've ever owned a car in your life you've seen the signs: squealing, hard starts such as the car having to turn over for ever-longer periods of time before the ignition sequence catches, high idles...the list goes on.
Please forgive me, good sir, for sending out the warning. I've turned wrenches my whole life, I was raised on oil and grease as much as spam and oatmeal, and I've lost count of the number of times a really simple fix was delayed until it became a much bigger problem. A squealing oil pump turning into a thrown rod or wrecked piston, a strange flicker in the lights that becomes an electrical fire, a weird grinding noise while turning that becomes a blown wheel bearing, or my personal favorite: a "thumping" beneath the car that eventually results in the fucking axle falling out while driving on the highway. It was bad, friends.
Anyway I will admit that I laugh at your pictures because I find the idea of cars being sexualized to be humorous, but you're a cool guy other than that. Thanks for your time.
e: god that was a wall of autism. No regrets, cars are cool.
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2015
Power Leveling is a fancy way saying someone's revealing intimate details, as is to appear vulnerable.
EDIT: It's not in the negative ratings section despite the description.
EDIT 2: I never meant to provide the description in a negative connotation, you're an alright kinda guy so... No mixed signals?
EDIT: It's not in the negative ratings section despite the description.
EDIT 2: I never meant to provide the description in a negative connotation, you're an alright kinda guy so... No mixed signals?
Last edited:
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
Okay time to battle the hordes of text.
And yeah, those videos were pretty crazy man...like I said, I don't feel like they were in "pain", per se, not like a human, but I really hate those videos because they represent something I can't stand, which is whats been called our "throwaway" culture. You know what I mean, the belief that everything and to a certain extent everyone is expendable, disposable. At our landfill here in town we have a sign which always makes me angry when I see it. It says, "You may consider your pets disposable, but they are not trash." Man that sign pisses me off so much, because it indicates that there's enough of a problem to make it necessary. When you get right down to it, we throw away too much useful, good stuff. Food, animals, tools, furniture...cars! Is it all relative, does it all weigh equally upon the scale? I personally don't think so, but that's not my call. What is my call is that I can't stand the belief that we gotta have the newest, latest, greatest thing, and some people don't care what they destroy to get there.
I own a BMW real similar to that one in your first video. When it's destroyed, all those man hours spent building and designing it, all the time someone spent turning a wrench on it, all the parts that were built for it, all of that is gone forever. And for what? Because it was old and it wasn't the newest latest greatest thing? I mean granted perhaps it didn't have the safety features that someone wanted, but god damn...I know it's a false equivocation to say "if they're willing to dispose of a perfectly good car then what's next, kids and old people!?!?!?" (not to mention a very silly analogy) but it's hard not to think that it's a small step from disposing of vehicles and appliances and stuff to being more willing to consider relationships with each other and our environments equally disposable. I don't know, it's late and I'm dumb, ignore me.
I have seen terrible shitty vets, just as I have seen terrible shitty mechanics. The difference being, of course, that there are far fewer terrible vets, and cars can't tell you exactly what the bad men did wrong. I don't know, I trust mechanics because I am one. Not a very good reason but, here we are.
I care about cars because they're interesting to me, being mechanically inclined. Do I believe they are conscious like we are? No, I do not. But I also believe that they share certain characteristics with dogs. Like I said, I don't believe they are aware of us on any specific level, but I do believe that they are built and designed to be useful, to have a purpose. When they are unable to be useful or otherwise cast aside like garbage, yes, it does pain me slightly. What can I say, I don't like giving up on things just because they're old and broken. Not a very good answer, but I can understand your way of thinking. The fact is that I can't see any evidence for it, personally, but I respect your beliefs nonetheless. From your perspective, I must be close to getting it, and I'm sorry if my inability to see beyond what I can perceive with my senses is limiting to me in a way that offends or upsets you. That ain't my intention hoss...I love a good car in the same way I love any good tools. I hate selling cars, which is why all of mine have over 200,000 miles on them. Guess I'm my own special kind of weird.Half-Dude said:
Yes, we use a full suite of heating devices on our vehicles. My truck, for example, has a battery blanket, an oil pan heater, an engine block heater (which as you can see replaces a frost plug), and a transmission pan heater, which is another of those universal pad heaters. And the thing you wish you had, where the engine pre-lubes itself? Those actually exist, they're just oil pumps that are electrically powered rather than run off the crank. They're not terribly popular for two reasons: firstly, because the goal of most car manufacturers is to reduce electrical load (and thereby reduce the size of the alternator needed), and secondly, because if you have any kind of electrical problems (alternator dying, for example) your engine can blow up, but they do exist. They're either pre-installed on the car or made aftermarket on a case-by-case basis, so you may or may not be able to swap out your current one for an electric one. Point being, if you can find one then all you'd need to do is turn the key to the accessory position for a few seconds prior to cranking.Half-Dude said:
See I agree with this. I don't know what OS is, or what that stands for (it's my fault for not reading through the thread more thoroughly) but I agree that it's a damn shame to see a quality vehicle taken off the road because people didn't wanna take care of something they rely on. And then they blame the mechanic (which to be fair is sometimes warranted) or the car itself! It's unreal.Half-Dude said:
Well...this is going to be where we disagree. We did have Cash For Clunkers stuff up here, and yeah there were a lot of cars that were wrecked (not by me personally, mind). The ones which still had life in them, that could still be useful, yeah that was a crying shame, but some of the stuff I saw turned in barely ran, and was really on it's last legs. If I were to anthropomorphize vehicles in the manner you do, I think I'd feel like they were being put out of their misery. Thats kind of callous of me, granted, but I'm not even sure how some of the cars I've worked on even ran.Half-Dude said:
And yeah, those videos were pretty crazy man...like I said, I don't feel like they were in "pain", per se, not like a human, but I really hate those videos because they represent something I can't stand, which is whats been called our "throwaway" culture. You know what I mean, the belief that everything and to a certain extent everyone is expendable, disposable. At our landfill here in town we have a sign which always makes me angry when I see it. It says, "You may consider your pets disposable, but they are not trash." Man that sign pisses me off so much, because it indicates that there's enough of a problem to make it necessary. When you get right down to it, we throw away too much useful, good stuff. Food, animals, tools, furniture...cars! Is it all relative, does it all weigh equally upon the scale? I personally don't think so, but that's not my call. What is my call is that I can't stand the belief that we gotta have the newest, latest, greatest thing, and some people don't care what they destroy to get there.
I own a BMW real similar to that one in your first video. When it's destroyed, all those man hours spent building and designing it, all the time someone spent turning a wrench on it, all the parts that were built for it, all of that is gone forever. And for what? Because it was old and it wasn't the newest latest greatest thing? I mean granted perhaps it didn't have the safety features that someone wanted, but god damn...I know it's a false equivocation to say "if they're willing to dispose of a perfectly good car then what's next, kids and old people!?!?!?" (not to mention a very silly analogy) but it's hard not to think that it's a small step from disposing of vehicles and appliances and stuff to being more willing to consider relationships with each other and our environments equally disposable. I don't know, it's late and I'm dumb, ignore me.
- Joined
- May 24, 2014