I can't believe people like this exist. Even though we ve been scammed twice by this man, I still refuse to believe there are people like that. People who just lie with ease straight on your face. People who would scam their own children. It may sound so fucking cliché but yeah I thought that this was just lazy writing in the fucking movies. Can't believe shit like this actually happens in real life.
I can empathize. If you're not a total cold-blooded inhuman human, it's hard to understand that some people are. It's a very bleak realization. I hope that you get to a point that the pain ebbs. It can be like grief to process through, so feeling hurt, anger, disbelief, difficulty wrapping your head around it is to be expected. But once you understand not only that there is no hope re that person, but also that you are better off without them in your head or your life, you can get to a place of being unbothered and get on with life. It can take awhile, and this kind of treatment and disappointment is not fun. But at least now you know for sure that he really is that worthless, so that's freedom from that question mark. Hope you, your sister, and your mom get to that point.
Once again debating if I should try again to leave this town. Because where I'm at now feels like the kind of place you try to leave by the end of college, otherwise you'll be stuck here with no one to talk to but the dregs and nothing to do but shop, eat out, and go walking.
But then again, maybe it's like this everywhere. Maybe I'll move to a bigger city hoping for greener pastures, only for nothing to change except now there's more rent, noise, crime, traffic, troons, etc. Makes me wonder if it's worth putting in all the effort to land a new job and move. I don't know.
If you're unencumbered by family/kids, go! Why not? Adventures await. That said, I didn't see anything in your comment about what you would love for your environment, what excites you (which would give some criteria and direction for a move and a specific set of reasons to pick one place over another). And if your head isn't right/it's not the situation but an internal ennui or malaise, then maybe that needs addressing first - if that's the case, and you root-cause it and kind of work through it, you may find reasons to be moving
toward something more than seeking to escape some other thing. But there's no reason not to seek a place that feels more vibrant or interesting to you and that offers what you seek.
Im more annoyed by everything in my life than anything else. Im starting to realize that i dwell on my losses too much. Its driven me crazy to think about how much got lost from being too naive and im seeing the change in my eyes. Im more or less back together even if i dont have everything restored but the mental stress showing on my face will require a really good skincare routine.
Once you can turn away from the past (regrets, self-recrimination, all the emotions that come from having been naive and thusly abused or taken advantage of) and keep your face forward (and feet in the present), your skin and everything will fall more and more in line, both due to less trouble and because you'll likely have the bandwidth to take care.
Side related anecdote, the other day my mother, in her patented backhanded way, complimented my skin: "what are you doing to your skin? You look five years younger!" Lol, thanks, mom, I know I looked like shit for an age; hard times).
Me too. I wish I could fit in with other people, I wish I understood how to be a socially healthy person. I wish I were just a run-of-the-mill moron, not a care in the world.
Your comment is very general, but I'd say that most everyone has cares and concerns. You don't have to be perfect or unthinking or uncomplicated to be well-adjusted or socially healthy. Maybe off-topic to your comment, but I think that getting out of one's head can alleviate a lot of discomfort and sense of being an outsider/irrevocably unable to be at ease. In many situations, CBT can help with some types of social unease. You* might have to limit the thinking that everyone else is a moron, though. Both because misanthropy doesn't tend to engender healthy social relations (if that's what you want), and because what other people are or do doesn't really have anything to do with who you are yourself.
*general "you"; you (specific) didn't say enough to know whether this is applicable to you, so pls don't take it personally if not
