How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[The Feline Solution]

I know I’m going to sound like a total stereotypical fag (don’t care) but just found out someone uploaded the entirety of Passions (supernatural soap opera from the 90s I used to watch as a teen) on YouTube.

Yay! Got a big download planned for today!

lmao gay

I have to stop drinking Monday. I dont want to stop drinking but it's one of the last major things impeding my life goals.
It's gonna suck.

It will improve your life tenfold. I only got a handful things i REALLY regret and one of them is ever starting drinking.

 

[obsdj]

I have to stop drinking Monday. I dont want to stop drinking but it's one of the last major things impeding my life goals.
It's gonna suck.

Yes, it will. For a while. But I expect you'll feel way better after some time has passed. I quit years ago (didn't have to but decided to) and I'm very glad I did. I still get tempted to drink, especially during hard times, but being able to say I haven't had a drink in X years (where X is a number that keeps getting larger) has helped me stay alive and out of most serious trouble, I'm convinced. Good luck to you! Try to steer clear of places, situations, and if necessary people (at least for now) that'll lead you into temptation.

 

[56 others]

Good luck to you! Try to steer clear of places, situations, and if necessary people (at least for now) that'll lead you into temptation.

I appreciate it, but it's not that bad. As soon as I'm able to sleep without it, ill be good, I did the same with weed (and then picked up drinking a year later). Hard to avoid drinks in Wisconsin, I can see 3 bars from my back porch

 

[eatler]

Wisconsin

Ever been to the “walk her in, drag her out” bar?

 

[56 others]

Ever been to the “walk her in, drag her out” bar?

No but I have been to Nig's

 

[Shlomo XL]

Just starting doing drawings slash design le graphique for shekels (shoutout to my gentiles @(((I am NOT a jew))) and @Sergeant Major Buzzkill lol). Though I have a defined goal and a couple tricks up the sleeve for getting clients, achieving artistic growth and staying fresh and yadda yadda, it's still pretty foacken hard mate - not to mention the concerning potentiality of ML getting so good as to phase out human labour in that field entirely.​

On an unrelated note: been feeling pleasantly numb to things as of late. Not stressing out over every minute roadblock or disagreement like usual, but not getting excited for stuff either. ¿Por que?

 

[I Know 孤独のせい]

My father's health has deteriorated quite a bit these last couple of months. Last year it was a heart attack, and today he called me because the was admitted to the hospital because of issues with his kidneys, which he already had years ago. Among just being sick here and there. He never had a healthy lifestyle due to various circumstances, and I never expected him to live into his eighties or longer, but he not even sixty. Really don't want to broach the subject of his testament, funeral and so on, but if this continues I will have no other choice.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

View attachment 5820690

Showing my internet age, bc it's not really used anymore. Pita = pain in the ass

...

I was tense all last week, for a very incredibly dumb and easy to resolve reason. Which I FINALLY did resolve yesterday (yay!). I don't exactly feel foolish about getting wacked out about it, because it has all kinds of terrible associations and sent me back to a bad time, but it was annoying as hell to knuckle through. Now I need to tackle the 87 million other similar things. Starting to think I need emdr or something to dislodge this reactive paralysis (or paralytic reaction?) to certain very mundane things I must do. Probably better than liquid courage.

In better news, I ate a couple of kiwis for breakfast. Literally, not metaphorically, even. Best way: with a grapefruit spoon (they have serrated edges), but any small spoon should do. Cut in half or slice off one end and just scoop out the meat. Messy, though. I want to invent a cup to hold them - like an old-style cup for eating soft-boiled eggs, but kiwi-sized.

...or I guess just use an egg cup if smallish . But I still want a kiwi-specific cup so it can sit deeper and more securely.

 

[DavidS877]

In better news, I ate a couple of kiwis for breakfast. Literally, not metaphorically, even. Best way: with a grapefruit spoon (they have serrated edges), but any small spoon should do. Cut in half or slice off one end and just scoop out the meat. Messy, though. I want to invent a cup to hold them - like an old-style cup for eating soft-boiled eggs, but kiwi-sized.

...or I guess just use an egg cup if smallish . But I still want a kiwi-specific cup so it can sit deeper and more securely.
View attachment 5822184

If they're ripe enough I usually just brush off the hair, take the end off and eat the rest skin and all.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

I won't get it into too much, but the state of the economy has been making me very, very angry in real life. I am starting to have trouble contain myself and my composure at our political system and the burgeoning anti-white, Ghetto Nigger-glorifying elites. I'm not a WN, I'm just sick at what everyone sees with their own two eyes and knows what's going on. I have slowly been becoming a conspiracy theorist, just not an unhinged pizzagate one. I hope you're angry too.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Showing my internet age, bc it's not really used anymore. Pita = pain in the ass

I was just messing around, i know what it stands for


4AM an i'm sitting in the subway still, why do we live in the future and don't have access to teleporters yet,

 

[eatler]

4AM an i'm sitting in the subway still, why do we live in the future and don't have access to teleporters yet,

Because we never got past the self driving stage.

 

[AnOminous]

4AM an i'm sitting in the subway still, why do we live in the future and don't have access to teleporters yet,

Never get in a teleporter. They annihilate you and completely destroy you and your soul dies, and is replaced with a replicant on the other side who is just a copy of you. The you you know died the instant you got in.

 

[Betonhaus]

Never get in a teleporter. They annihilate you and completely destroy you and your soul dies, and is replaced with a replicant on the other side who is just a copy of you. The you you know died the instant you got in.

Why would you say "never get in a teleporter" then go into great detail why people would want to?

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I was just messing around, i know what it stands for

I was 50-50 on that but decided to play it straight

4AM an i'm sitting in the subway still, why do we live in the future and don't have access to teleporters yet,

I miss subways. No, really. Of course, depends on how long your ride is.

 

[The Feline Solution]

I was 50-50 on that but decided to play it straight

I miss subways. No, really. Of course, depends on how long your ride is.

I appreciate how well the public transit works here most of the time but there's always some bullshit, just now i spent 20 minutes, already sitting in the train, in a train station because of a police operation happening like five stations away, total bullshit.
It was three stations by train and around 20 by subway plus walking four bus stations to get home tonight (around one and a half hourd travel time total usually, 1:50 tonight because of the aforementioned stuff), my friends moved to the good part of town long ago and the difference in distance gives a general idea to how shitty my part of town is. At least i had no crazies in my subway wagon on the way home.

Never get in a teleporter. They annihilate you and completely destroy you and your soul dies, and is replaced with a replicant on the other side who is just a copy of you. The you you know died the instant you got in.

I don't know if you ever lived in a big city but this sounds preferable to many a night i spent driving home ob public transit. Also, The Prestige is underrated and overrated at the same time.

Edit: I am going to take some Valium (i am not abusing it, never was into benzos, and it's a weak solution, 10mg on the ml, that's been sitting in my medicine cabinet since forever) and try to go to sleep now, gotta go to grandma's at noon today, i realized last weekend i need to spend as much time as i can with her before she buys the farm or i regret it.

Alarm in 4 hours and 45 minutes, fuck me.

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

I know that I'm seriously physically ill and I'm heading towards some sort of breakdown. But I can't make myself slow down and I'd rather just keep working like a madman. I'm working about 70 hours/week for the next month, and between the two jobs I literally don't have days off anymore. I just work 8+ hours every single day of the week, and I just save all the money and live like a pauper. It's insanity.

I think eventually I will take some sort of sabbatical but I'm not really sure how to accomplish that. The PTO accrual rate is abysmal so I could only take about five days paid vacation, while I want to take maybe two months off work. I haven't worked for my employer long enough to get FMLA (unpaid medical) leave. I want to talk to the office lady in private about this, but I know the first question would be "what actually is your health issue?" and I'm not open to discussing it. She's a gossip and it's the type of thing I would rather my workplace to never know a thing about.

My friends told me to just quit, which is rather in vogue for people my age, but I mean... what I am supposed to do with myself? I think I will feel totally aimless and stress about the money. I don't want to ruin my life.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

I know that I'm seriously physically ill and I'm heading towards some sort of breakdown. But I can't make myself slow down and I'd rather just keep working like a madman. I'm working about 70 hours/week for the next month, and between the two jobs I literally don't have days off anymore. I just work 8+ hours every single day of the week, and I just save all the money and live like a pauper. It's insanity.

I think eventually I will take some sort of sabbatical but I'm not really sure how to accomplish that. The PTO accrual rate is abysmal so I could only take about five days paid vacation, while I want to take maybe two months off work. I haven't worked for my employer long enough to get FMLA (unpaid medical) leave. I want to talk to the office lady in private about this, but I know the first question would be "what actually is your health issue?" and I'm not open to discussing it. She's a gossip and it's the type of thing I would rather my workplace to never know a thing about.

My friends told me to just quit, which is rather in vogue for people my age, but I mean... what I am supposed to do with myself? I think I will feel totally aimless and stress about the money. I don't want to ruin my life.

Dude, don't, it's not fucking worth it. Slow down and take a break. You can do hobbies outside of work. If you snap you'll probably lose your job anyway, or your performance will suffer greatly and so will your professional esteem and reputation. Look for a new job. While many young people are lazy, some of the recent attitudes are deserved because everyone knows that your hard work won't lead to promotions. You can work your ass off all day and they'll hire someone else outside of the company, or they'll fire you in a heartbeat. The fact is is that the free market also applies to workers looking for work, and if they treat you like shit you have the right to quit and go elsewhere. It's not lazy. 70+ week is hell. The fact that you're eating so much shit probably for peanuts is the kind of shit I've been raging about today in my head.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I know that I'm seriously physically ill and I'm heading towards some sort of breakdown. But I can't make myself slow down and I'd rather just keep working like a madman. I'm working about 70 hours/week for the next month, and between the two jobs I literally don't have days off anymore. I just work 8+ hours every single day of the week, and I just save all the money and live like a pauper. It's insanity.

I think eventually I will take some sort of sabbatical but I'm not really sure how to accomplish that. The PTO accrual rate is abysmal so I could only take about five days paid vacation, while I want to take maybe two months off work. I haven't worked for my employer long enough to get FMLA (unpaid medical) leave. I want to talk to the office lady in private about this, but I know the first question would be "what actually is your health issue?" and I'm not open to discussing it. She's a gossip and it's the type of thing I would rather my workplace to never know a thing about.

My friends told me to just quit, which is rather in vogue for people my age, but I mean... what I am supposed to do with myself? I think I will feel totally aimless and stress about the money. I don't want to ruin my life.

First, do the math. How long could you live on savings?

Second, how long until fmla kicks in? And consider whether you have/will have substantiation for it.

Third, iirc you've spoken about how there's no one to do the job if not you, but is that actually, literally correct? Do you need to be working 70 hours/week?

...oh, I didn't realize you're working more than one job ("and between the two jobs I..."). Can you let one go? Do the math on that, too.

After the math, what does it look like?

I agree with @Harbinger of Kali Yuga - you shouldn't be killing yourself for no reason. You don't need to burn out. But you also don't want to make big decisions in a state of exhaustion without knowing what you can or can't survive on.

On your pto - you can't take more than actually accrued at any point in time? And would 5 days now be potentially helpful at all? I know it doesn't seem that way, and maybe that's correct, but maybe some days off now would give you a couple days to sleep then a couple days to think more medium term in a clear-headed way?

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Two weeks ago I slipped carrying my laundry basket downstairs and sprained my MCL. Now there's only pain or tightness if I move certain ways and it's tollerable. Today was the first whole day without the knee brace. Still doing physical therapy for another month and have a follow up orthopedic appointment in a couple weeks