How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

There was a low tier normie at my ward today who told me how he ended up there. After a couple of minutes, it became clear that I wasn't taking any of it seriously and had only asked him for my own amusement, yet he kept going. I could barely suppress my laughter, and when he concluded his tale, I began to laugh in a clearly malicious yet weirdly jovial way, so he couldn't be clear if I was just joking around or intentionally making him feel bad. After a good 30 seconds or so of me laughing, he left the room without saying anything.

But really, he deserved it. If I feel any emotions of benevolence towards me, I should return them a hundredfold.
Yes, it's best that way.
 
Pushing everyone away and then wondering why I'm alone. Daylight hours gray-rocking to everyone and not reciprocating any intimacy due to fear of vulnerability, at midnight sending non-sequitur conversational messages to the same people in a transparent plea for validation and then staying up all night thinking about how they hate me because they don't respond immediately, despite them telling me they like me and wish I would stop assuming everyone hates me. I'm so fucking crazy.

My sincerest apologies to those with actual problems besides just being blindingly neurotic.
 
I think I might have to quit my job because I simply have too many family obligations atm. None of my family lives within 1700 miles of me and I have to extensively travel (these are all non-negotiable obligations). I looked at my calendar and basically every 3-5 weeks for the next 5 months, I have to take at least 4+ days off. I don't care about PTO, I would just be asking for unpaid, but still, it is a massive PITA. Lame because I like what I do, but I just don't see any way around it right now.
 
Plans for the day are fucked and not because of me fucking up for once. Got up after four hours of sleeping, still feeling drunk, got myself presentable, then my brother calls me, sitting in the car and saying traffic is completely fucked. There's some gay marathon thing going on, they cordoned everything off and it's not even possible to get on the Autobahn to drive to my grandma's so we cancelled the whole thing.
Fuck this city and everyone in it. I'm too frazzled to go back to sleep, contemplating drinking a beer and trying again afterwards, on some real alcoholic steeze.
 
After rough two weeks? Month? More than a month? Doesn't matter, I am having a weekend and I am... Happy? I am aware that good things never last, but I am still blissfully relaxed and positive at the moment. I am not even afraid that in a week or two I might look at this post and feel defeated. I wanna enjoy this moment while I can.
Take care, people, I wish you the best.
 
If G*rman gun ranges dont offer this service, just visit Czech Republic. It's not that long ago that some foreigner successfully 41 %ed using this method here.
I totally missed this post. AFAIK german gun ranges, the few we have and which are in the more rural areas, don't allow non permit-holders (which you only have a realistic chance of obtaining if you're a hunter or member of a marksmanship club for 6+ months, though there are exceptions, like to some security firms and the like. You also need to have a ground anchored gun safe and a seperate, also wall or ground anchored safe for ammo and allow the police to check up on you if you're properly storing your funs whenever they feel like it, and they actually do those checks) anywhere near rifles or pistols even when giving demonstrations.
The Czech thing is true, my brother booked a course a couple of years ago and had a pistol in his hands on the very first day, course wasn't even expensive.

Edit: We also got those gay rules about about magazine size like the commiefornians, if you check on german arms dealers sites it's all two-shot bullshit mags on longarms.
 
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After the math, what does it look like?
I have a pretty good job for having no experience in the field. I've been promoted (with raise) three times within 6 months- the two other people with my job title both have 10+ years experience. I think it would be very hard to obtain a similar position (shift lead industrial cook) anywhere else due to my age and absolute lack of formal training. I started as the janitor.

We're still critically understaffed. Some people tell me this means I can quit and just come back in a few months, but I'm not so sure. They will hire anyone and everyone who applies right now, meaning my crazy boss is probably going to hire more of his crazy friends to fill my job. And he will certainly hate me and throw a giant temper tantrum, because that's the type of person he is. Someone else quit due to stress and tried to come back- and he refused to rehire, saying "you brought drama and you betrayed me." I'm hoping to outlast this manager, who was hired out of desperation, but since we're so shortstaffed in terms of upper management, no one is really overseeing him and complaints go nowhere.

I'm pretty sure if I quit, one or two of my buddies will also quit- which would make it extremely hard to return. They could probably get similar jobs, but again, I'm not sure I could.

I don't quite know how it would work to just ask to be taken off the schedule for a while. If I get demanding, I always get what I want, because they want me to stay. But does that still work if I'm asking for several weeks off? I know they'll have no way to cover it.

My second job is seasonal and I'm just doing it because the money is crazy good and it's super easy (comparatively). I was really motivated to do it because I figure, whatever I'm going to do, the extra money will help.

Would taking just a few days off help? I dunno. Every time I've done that before, I spend all the time just catching up on errands and sleep. If I get the medical treatment I'm looking into, it's like 4 hours of PT per week and I know I'll be beat afterwards. And in general I won't be in any condition to drive or even walk around much, at least at first. Not even including the hospital stay and the relatively high risk of complications.

I'm also worried I'll lose friends. I tend to have this cycle where people slowly realize something is terribly wrong with me as they get to know me, but they assume it's a brief thing. Then I continue to not get better, and after months or years, they start getting slowly annoyed by it.... until they finally start asking, "Um, when exactly will you no longer have this issue?" You'd be surprised how many people think limbs and nerves totally regrow and that all paralysis just continue to get better over time and things like that.

When I had a friend in the hospital, I made a point to visit or call him every day for the entire 35 days he was there. I know no one else did, not even his family. He was really grateful- it was not a super good place to be, he was in a psych ward after a mental break. I wish I could say I did this out of some great sense of morality, but really.... I'm hoping that he'll feel like he owes me the same. But the fact of the matter is I don't think he's capable and I don't think anyone I know will actually support me for the length of time I know I'll be down bad.
 
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I actually have a pretty good job for having no experience in the field. I've been promoted (with raise) three times within 6 months- the two other people with my job title both have 10+ years experience. I think it would be very hard to obtain a similar position (shift lead industrial cook) anywhere else due to my age and absolute lack of formal training. I started as the janitor.

We're still critically understaffed. Some people tell me this means I can quit and just come back in a few months, but I'm not so sure. They will hire anyone and everyone who applies right now, meaning my crazy boss is probably going to hire more of his crazy friends to fill my job. And he will certainly hate me and throw a giant temper tantrum, because that's the type of person he is. Someone else quit due to stress and tried to come back- and he refused to rehire, saying "you brought drama and you betrayed me." I'm hoping to outlast this manager, who was hired out of desperation, but since we're so shortstaffed in terms of upper management, no one is really overseeing him and complaints go nowhere.

I'm pretty sure if I quit, one or two of my buddies will also quit- which would make it extremely hard to return. They could probably get similar jobs, but again, I'm not sure I could.

I don't quite know how it would work to just ask to be taken off the schedule for a while. If I get demanding, I always get what I want, because they want me to stay. But does that still work if I'm asking for weeks off? I know they'll have no way to cover it.
Do you feel confident enough in your knowledge of the kitchen that you could quit and train to become a kitchen manager?
 
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Do you feel confident enough in your knowledge of the kitchen that you could quit and train to become a kitchen manager?
I have my kitchen manager's cert if that's what you mean. I am functionally a manager- I make schedules, do supply orders, etc. But I'm too young. I'm "early college age" to not say a specific number. I also struggle a lot with actual people issues again because I'm so young- most of my coworkers have children my age, so it's really hard for me to have a sense of authority over them or disipline them. "Being mature for your age" only goes so far. I feel weird as a young 20-something to have to have serious sit-down performance reviews and criticize a 50 year old who has been working for longer than I've been alive.

I could probably get a job as the manager of a McDonald's or something, but I don't want that. I like working in the industrial scale, but most people in my position have years of experience and college degrees. I am myself a desperation hire.
 
I wish I could say I did this out of some great sense of morality, but really.... I'm hoping that he'll feel like he owes me the same.
While this objectively looks like a shit thing to do, i 100% get where you're coming from. I sincerely hope you won't be disappointed in the end. You seem to expect as much regarding what you wrote after this and i admire that you see things realistically. Sorry for sounding like a sappy reddit homo, my one counter beer turned into three and i feel myself getting more and more sappy. Girlfriend needs to get out of bed so i have someone present IRL to offload my sappy shit on, it's fucking after 3PM.
 
Mix of good and bad.

Work is stressing me out due to management and understaffing. I'm starting to unironically yearn for my unemployed days where I could go for long walks every day, just read in a park for hours ect.

Good is I never used to have any money and I checked my checking account and saw 100k in there so that's fucking cool. I have no idea what to do with it though. I'm a minimalist who has cheap hobbies and doesn't give a fuck about clothes, cars, status symbols.

Maybe I'll do some research and invest in something.
 
Edit: We also got those gay rules about about magazine size like the commiefornians, if you check on german arms dealers sites it's all two-shot bullshit mags on longarms.
So if you're hunting, for instance, wild boar and two shots don't take it out and it's still coming at you, you're pretty much fucked?
 
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So if you're hunting, for instance, wild boar and two shots don't take it out and it's still coming at you, you're pretty much fucked?
That's how i understood it. And we got a huge wild boar problem to boot, i see them even in the city in the more green areas. I bet there's even some nonsense law about how you are not allowed to carry spare mags, i certainly wouldn't put it behind our lawmakers. Our gun laws are draconic.
 
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Been a few years since I last posted on this thread, but pretty good. Been off the booze and benzos for a couple years like I’d hoped, and gotten a job somewhere that’s significantly less shitty than the previous place. Considering it was a forensic setting though, I suppose anything is better in comparison.

Thinking of saving up to move abroad, not sure on where but I think it’s about time to finally get that ball rolling and escape Brittanistan for good.
 
I've felt a lot better ever since I realized that there's still a lot of life left in me especially considering I'm only in my late 20s. That and making a genuine effort not to be a lazy bones, but not overworking myself to death because I genuinely love what I do (even if it is frustrating) and I like my current advisor a lot (both in the sense of being a good mentor and a good friend). I'm still very horny and need to find an 18+ year old tomboy gf to hang out and mate with however, so I'm still looking out for any potential matches on that front. But over all, things are good.

Mix of good and bad.

Work is stressing me out due to management and understaffing. I'm starting to unironically yearn for my unemployed days where I could go for long walks every day, just read in a park for hours ect.

Good is I never used to have any money and I checked my checking account and saw 100k in there so that's fucking cool. I have no idea what to do with it though. I'm a minimalist who has cheap hobbies and doesn't give a fuck about clothes, cars, status symbols.

Maybe I'll do some research and invest in something.

Learn how to play an instrument if you haven't already. You don't need a crazy amount of money to get a half-way decent guitar and amp combo. I have a Fender Squire Jazz Bass and an Orange Crush Bass 25 that in total cost around $700-$1000 (I got the bass a decade ago so I don't remember the exact cost but the amp cost ~$400)
 
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